Life Balance

Personal Development

Are You Valuing You?

August 26, 2020

Are you valuing your value?

Let that sink in. Do you really see your value and are you allowing others to see it?

To figure this out, reflect on how you respond to people and the boundaries you set. In friendships or relationships

Are people respectful of your time and how do you respond?

Do you drop plans for people or do you expect to be contacted in a reasonable amount of time?

If people flake out on you, do you bother to get back with them?

Once in a while is fine and understandable, but if this is a patern for you, you may have some work to do.

Valuing Your Time

If you value your own time, others will as well. Of course, being flexible is a wonderful trait to have. There may be times when people contact you last minute to get together or people may make you wait. If this is a constant for you, you may want to look at your schedule and how valuable your time is. This is one way to create boundaries and know that your time is valuable. You don’t have to say yes to everything especially if it interferes with your schedule.

Ask yourself these questions to know if the request is that important.

Do I really want to do this or do I feel obligated?

Is this person/activity a priority?

Will it fit in with my current schedule?

Will doing this make me feel good or will I feel tired or drained?

Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

Do those closest to you respect where you are in life?

This is important. Are your family and friends interested, excited or positive about what you do? Of course, not everyone is going to be interested in everything, but if your friends can’t show some positivity or encouragement, maybe it’s time to rethink the relationship. If you feel dragged down, devalued or drained after a meeting with this person, perhaps they don’t see your value.

This goes for relationships as well. Does your partner value your characteristics? If you are driven, successful, inteligent etc, is your partner turned off by that. If he or she is the right person for you, they wouldn’t be. I’m speaking from experience here, but if your partner doesn’t value your goals, who you are and the path that you are on in life, it’s definitely time to move on.

Make Yourself a Priority

Finally, do you value you?

I mean do you really? Do you give your goals and dreams the time and attention they deserve? Do you make time for these things in your schedule or do you put them on the back burner because you are too busy taking care of kids, being a wife/girlfriend, cooking and cleaning or doing a meaningless job that you are constantly on the verge of quitting? If you are, it’s time to look at your values.

Grab a notebook and start brainstorming with these four questions.

What are your top five goals?

What are your values?

How do your goals reflect those values?

What is one step you can take today to move you towards accomplishing at least one goal?

The step can be very small. For example, if your goal is to start a blog, one step would be to brainstorm name ideas. Step number two could be to purchase a domain. If you don’t know what a domain is, then your step number two would be to research on domains. If one of your goals is to read four books per month, then your first step could be to choose a book. Next step, read five pages. You get the idea. It doesn’t matter which goal you choose to work on, but make it something valuable to you. Once you start seeing the value in yourself, others will follow suit.

Are you an overwhelmed mom who doesn’t know where to start? Have you lost yourself and don’t even know what your goals or values are anymore? If so, I’d love to help you. Schedule a discovery call with me and we can discuss strategies that will help you feel like that valuable mama I know you are!

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Productivity

Delegate or Delete

July 15, 2020

Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, there are never enough hours in the day to complete that never ending todo list. It’s filled with work, cooking, cleaning, running Aaron’s and the endless tasks that come with having children. Is your todo list as long at the end of the day as it is in the beginning? Are you overwhelmed by clutter and kids toys? Are you tired of feeling like you do it all? If so, it’s time to delegate or delete! Keep reading to learn why you should delegate, the benefits of deligation and how to get some much needed free time.

Why Delegate?

If you’re anything like me, you feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment from achieving your goals. My number one goal is to ensure that my daughter is well loved and has everything she needs. Part of that goal includes maintaining a clean home, cooking relatively healthy meals and running errands. Then there’s my regular day job, blogging, the coaching business etc. Not to mention the time that we spend playing because a life without play is not worth living. While playing is wonderful, it can come with the guilt of not getting to all those annoying tasks on the todo list. Giving up some of that control may feel uncomfortable, but discomfort is what helps us grow. If you’re not filling your day with time wasting tasks, you can spend your time doing things you actually enjoy.

Sometimes, there is no one else around to help, but even if there is, it’s difficult to hand over that control. The task may not be done to perfection and that can be hard to accept. My mantra has always been if you want it done right, do it yourself. Needless to say, that hasn’t served me well in the mom game. I am a single mom, so I don’t have a partner to delegate to, but there are other options. If you are a single mother as well, we may have to think outside the box, but there are ways to delegate those mundane tasks and free up some of our time. We may not have partners, but our kids can help us do many of the household chores.

Benefits of Delegation

Less stress,

More free time,

Family working as a cohesive team,

Teaches children responsibility,

Gives family members a sense of pride,

Teaches children life skills,

Responsibilities are shared making for better relationships.

How to Delegate

1. Grab a notebook and for 5-7 days write down each task you complete.

2. Put stars next to anything that can be done by someone else.

3. This is where the delete comes in. Look at your list and then put an X next to any tasks that aren’t either absolutely necessary. Especially the unnecessary tasks that you don’t enjoy. There, doesn’t that feel better?

4. Assign tasks to family members. Make a schedule or chart to help everyone remember.

5. Make a weekly schedule for things like errands, meal prepping etc. If you know you will have a busy evening coming up, plan your menu ahead of time so that you save time knowing what’s for dinner or have freezer meals prepared ahead of time. If you have errands to run, have the person go who will be closer to the store, bank etc to save on driving time.

6. If it is in your budget, you may want to hire out some of your work tasks if you run your own business.

7. Depending on your budget, you may want to invest in a cleaning service or meal delivery service.

Tasks to Delegate

Cleaning children’s rooms,

Cleaning common areas,

Organizing toys,

Shopping,

Work/office related tasks,

Children as young as 18 months old can be taught to pick up their toys. It is especially helpful for children if bins or shelves are labeled with a photo of the toys. That shows them exactly where the toys should go. Bins are great because they can be covered and stacked to save space. Depending on their age, children should be able to make their own beds, put their belongings away, put dishes in the sink or dish washer, throw trash away, take care of their personal hygiene, pack their school bag etc.

Delegating will be hard at first, but the hard road is usually the right road. Not only will you be a more productive mom, but you will be a less stressed and happier mom. Meanwhile, your children will be learning to take pride and responsibility for their belongings and home. The best part is your family will be working together as a team! What could be better than that? Do you delegate chores at your house? What chores were you able to delete from your list? Tell us in the comments.

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Personal Development, Self Care

How To Show Self Compassion

May 6, 2020

How are you doing? Where are you in this strange world we are living in? Maybe you are one of those people who is maximizing your time by taking courses, organizing your home or being productive with your work. Maybe you are on the other end of the spectrum and it’s all you can do to get out of bed and get dressed. Chances are, you are probably somewhere in the middle. Especially if you are a mom trying to hold down a job, homeschool kids and take care of the house. Where ever you are at this moment, I want to remind you to show some self compassion.

I’m writing about self compassion today because it is a struggle I am having. Chances are, I’m not alone in this. When the stay at home orders first started, I was thankful that I had some extra time to put towards my coaching and this blog. I was excited to have extra time with my daughter. I always wanted to stay at home with her, so I was looking atthis as an opportunity. For the first couple of weeks, things were going great. I had lots of motivation and my daughter was loving having me at home.

As time passes, I have lost the motivation to write which leaves me discouraged. I’ve also noticed behavioral changes in my daughter. She’s angry that she can’t go back to school and she misses her friends. She always tells me that she’s scared, but when I ask her what is scaring her she tells me, “monsters.” I’m wondering if it’s really monsters she’s scared of or is it something else. Is she scared that we may get sick? Is she scared of something she can’t put into words? She’s only four, so much of this is beyond her comprehension, but she is piecing things together and trying to make sense of it all. I’m trying to help her stay motivated with her learning, but she can’t focus. Quite frankly, neither can I.

Is it time to get back to the drawing board? Probably. We need to take a new approach. I’ve started with toy and book rotation, more snuggle time and a lot more going with the flow. As a coach, it’s my job to help others stay motivated and working towards achieving their goals, but I am only human and I am definitely feeling overwhelmed, sad and frusterated.

Your Challenges

What are your struggles?

Is it a lack of motivation?
Is it work/life balance?
Are your kids having trouble adjusting to the changes?
Are you unemployed and or in a career transition?
Is it cabin fever?

Whatever your challenges are, let’s start by being kind and compassionate with ourselves. We are in extraordinary circumstances.

What is self compassion?

The definition of self compassion is is the extension of kindness, care, warmth, and understanding (instead of beratement and criticism) toward oneself when faced with shortcomings, inadequacies, or failures.

When I think of self compassion, I picture this situation. When your friend is going through a tough time, what do you tell them? If your friend tells you she let the kids eat junk food because she didn’t feel like cooking or that they sat in front of the tv for too long, what would you tell her? You would probably tell her to be kind to herself. You’d tell her to try again tomorrow and not to worry so much. You wouldn’t tell her that she’s a terrible mother for not feeding organic or putting the kids in front of the tv so that she can get a moment of peace. If we are kind and compassionate with our friends, why do we criticize ourselves for the same actions?

Tips for Self Compassion

1. Say kind things to yourself.

If those negative statements pop into your head when you lose motivation, snap at your children or forget to take care of yourself, try using a positive statement instead.

I will use calm words with my children.

I may be overwhelmed, but I am a good mother.

I will start fresh tomorrow.

I have achieved these goals and will achieve my goals in the future.

Whatever your negative self-talk is, think of positive statements to challenge these beliefs. Write them down if you have to.

2. Stop and practice gratitude.

Whether it is in your head, on paper or in your phone, stop and write a few things you are grateful for. It may bring you joy and help you feel centered again.

3. Practice self-care.

If you are able to take just a short break to something for your self, it can make all the difference. Here are some ideas.

Journaling,

Meditation,

Taking a walk,

Take a bubble bath,

Have your favorite drink or comfort food,

Read a book or maybe just one chapter.

4. Connect With Others

If you can’t seem to give your self any compassion, reach out to someone who will lift you up. Call a friend, a family member or others in your network. Sometimes, it helps to talk things out. You may come away with a new perspective or will feel better in knowing that someone else understands and has your back.

Where ever you are at this point, it is okay. If you are on fire with ambition, that’s awesome! If you are feeling down, be kind to yourself. If you and your kids are driving each other crazy, take a break if you can and find something you can enjoy. That’s what I’ve been doing this week. I’m taking care of myself so that when I come back, I will have more positive energy and a renewed sense of purpose. Most importantly, I am showing some self compassion and I hope these tips help you do the same.

How are you and your children coping with all of this? Tell me in the comments.

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Personal Development, Self Care

10 Self-care Tips for the Busy Mom

April 22, 2020

As moms, we are always jumping from one task to the next and taking care of ourselves is an after thought. What do you picture when you hear the term self-care? Maybe you picture days at the spa or a weekend at home in your pj’s with your favorite comfort foods. What if I told you that self-care can take 10 minutes or less? Here are my 10 self-care tips for busy moms that can be done in under 10 minutes.

You may be thinking 10 minutes is too short to make a difference. You might be dying to have a whole weekend to yourself, but let’s be realistic. A refresher is better than nothing and during this pandemic, most of us aren’t leaving the house anyway. If you regularly schedule these five to ten minute breaks in your routine, they will become a habit and it will start to add up and make a huge difference in your outlook, health and wellbeing. Okay, I know your busy, so let’s get to those self-care tips now.

Journaling

Journaling is one of my favorite self-care routines. I don’t journal as much as I’d like to, but journaling has so many benefits. Personally, it has helped me work through feelings, visualize my future, keep track of goals and ideas, remember my dreams and preserve memories. With all these ways that journaling can help you, why wouldn’t you want to try it? The great thing about journaling is that there is no right or wrong way to journal. You just write from the heart. If you are not much of a writer, you can make lists or even sketch instead. The best part for us busy moms is that you can journal in less than ten minutes. You can include it in your routine first thing in the morning or before you go to bed or maybe you find it more beneficial to jot down notes throughout the day. Here are some ideas to get you started.

A gratitude journal; make lists of what you are grateful for.

Write using journal prompts.

Write down your dreams when you wake up.

Write down your goals and big dreams each day.

Write about your day.

Make a journal using photos.

Meditation

Many people use meditation as their form of self-care. There are numerous benefits of meditation. There are so many forms of meditation out there, so try several and figure out which meditations work best for you. Even if meditation is hard for you, just try to find a time to be in calm and stillness. We are always juggling and rarely get to stop to sit with our thoughts. There are many meditations that can be done in ten minutes or less like these.

Stretch Routines

If you are working at home now like I am, you may be sitting for hours at a time. It’s really important to get up and move around. A quick five to ten minute stretch routine is the perfect way to do that.

Workouts

If you have the energy and motivation, why not schedule a ten minute workout? If you are low on energy, doing even a short exercise routine is a great way to beat fatigue! If you have an exercise machine at home, do that, but if you don’t have any exercise equipment, I’ve got you covered. There are many strength based workouts that you can do from the comfort of your home that only use your body weight and can burn just as many calories.

Favorite Snack

What are your favorite snacks? This will look different for everyone and that’s okay. For some people self-care is grabbing their favorite comfort food and for other people self-care includes eating something healthy for their body. Whatever the case may be for you, prepare some of these snacks for you and your kids so you can have them throughout the week.75 Healthy Snack Ideas

No Bake Blueberry Protein Balls

Strawberry Granola Yogurt Bark

Looking Good to Feel Good

Maybe you don’t have time for a spa treatment or to do your regular makeup routine, but it’s so important to feel good about how you look. Since we are staying at home, many of us are not even bothering to get dressed or do our makeup. I don’t know about you, but when I’m not dressed and ready for the day, I don’t feel very motivated. Here are some ideas to help you look and feel good that take only a few minutes.

Put on your makeup.

Wear jewelry.

Do your nails.

Do a facial.

Style your hair in a different way.

Reading

Reading is one of my favorite activities because I learn new things or I can escape into the book depending on what I’m reading. Those are just a couple of benefits of picking up a book or listening on Audible. Reading doesn’t have to take up a lot of time. You can just read a few pages at a time, but if you totally get absorbed, that’s okay too.

Outside Time

How about taking that book outside and enjoying the peace that comes from being in nature? These days it can be harder to get out with our social distancing practices and stay at home orders, but as long as you keep these things in mind, you can still safely enjoy the outdoors. If you have a dog, take him for a walk. The dog needs to get out, so why not take this time for yourself as well? If you have a baby, it can be nice to just put them in the stroller and go enjoy the fresh air. Maybe you’re working and you can take your laptop outside. Being outside for a few minutes can bring some calm not only to yourself, but to your kids as well.

Creating a Peaceful Environment

This may be an aspect of self-care that you haven’t thought of. If you are working at home, think about the environment that you are working in. Is it uninviting? Is it complete chaos? One way to make your day more peaceful and or motivating is to change your environment in subtle ways. Here are some ideas.

Put pictures on your desk.

Add motivational quotes or affirmations where you see them.

Use crystals.

Add fresh flowers.

Use peaceful sounds like these.

https://youtu.be/UJZxtO9XNno

Social Connection

During this time of isolation, it’s so important to reach out to others. What’s better than a good chat with a friend? Maybe you want to reconnect with someone you haven’t talked to in a while or maybe you want to make some new connections. Whatever the case may be, reach out. It could make your day or someone else’s. It can also help us to slow down and listen and or be heard.

Self-care is so important, especially during these uncertain times. What are you doing to take care of yourself? Tell us in the comments.

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