quarantine

How to Stay Connected While Social Distancing

May 26, 2020

Things are starting to slowly reopen, but we’ve spent the last couple of months in our homes. Depending on where you are living, things may not be fully open yet and it’ll be a while before we can resume a life where we go out to dinner with friends, have birthday parties, play dates, book groups, fitness classes etc. A lot of us haven’t seen family members in months and our networks that were there before may be gone. This can make life extremely isolating for moms. Especially single moms who may have no one else to depend on.

Being an introvert, I miss some people, but I’m okay with having a lot of alone time. However, some people thrive on being connected with others and this time has been especially difficult for them. Our children struggle with this as well. Rosebud misses her friends. She loves playing with other kids and having the structure that preschool provided. One of my goals for NMC Coaching is to connect like-minded moms. The isolation can be overwhelming in normal times, but the pandemic has created a whole new set of challenges surrounding isolation. This gave me an idea to create this list of ways to stay connected to loved ones and or to meet new people.

Virtual Play Dates

Many people are using Zoom or FaceTime for meetings now, but kids are getting on it as well to talk to each other. Depending on the ages of your children and their level of interest, meeting over FaceTime can be a good way for kids to stay connected. This works for you moms to stay connected with your friends too. Here are some ideas for virtual play dates.

Read stories,
Have the children play with similar toys,

Draw pictures to share with each other.

Sometimes, just a simple conversation will do the trick.
For more inspiration, check out these 12 virtual play date ideas.

Virtual Game Night.

This is perfect for families who are used to getting together to play games or have parties. People have gotten creative with game ideas for virtual get togethers. It can be a fun way to pass the time and feel connected with others.

For more ideas, check out this post, Hhow to plan a virtual game night.

Virtual Book Club

One way to connect with others is through common interests. If book club is your thing, there are many of them going on virtually now. Some meet over Zoom and others are just simple Facebook groups where you have online discussions. This can be a great way to meet new people.

Online Courses

If you are interested in anything, there seems to be an online course for it. You can learn about blogging, creative writing, business, Crystal healing, nutrition and cooking to name a few. There are universities offering free college courses and many low cost short E-courses on websites like Udemy. There are different formats as well. Some are courses that you take on your own, but others involve Zoom meetings and or Facebook Groups which I’d recommend if you are taking a class to connect with others. There are offerings for children as well. I’ve seen story time, yoga classes and even preschool held over Zoom.

Find a Common Goal

Are you working towards weight loss? Are you starting a business? Are you working on home improvements? Maybe you’re just working on being your best self. Whatever your goal, there is a vertual group that you can get involved in.

I have several goals around blogging and my coaching business, so I’ve found groups where I can connect with others who are working on similar goals. We work together to share ideas and hold each other accountable. Make a list of five to ten goals and then pick one or two to focus on. Chances are, there are others who will be working along side you. I’ve been using an app called Active for my fitness goals. While I prefer to work on this alone, they have programs you can follow and ways within the app to connect with other people. Sometimes an accountability partner or a cheer leader is all you need to crush those goals!

Search for Locals

Just because you can’t meet in person yet doesn’t mean you can’t connect now. There are apps that connect local people for friendship such as Bumble BFF. There are local communities/groups on Facebook that are based on interests in your local area. Some ideas for mom groups include

Moms from a specific city or town,

Baby wearing,

Moms of toddlers,

Breast-feeding moms,

Working moms,

Homeschooling moms,

Crunchy moms.

You get the idea. If you have passions outside of motherhood, that is great too!

Maybe you are interested in crafts, DIY or volunteering in your local community. Do a quick search to see what’s out there in your community. Who knows. You might find a new friend or your next amazing opportunity!

Support

If you are struggling with a specific challenge such as a chronic illness, mental health issues, death/grief etc, there are so many support groups out there. There are many on Facebook, but there are also specific websites made for this purpose. If you do a search for a support group related to your specific challenge, you will get results. You can narrow it down by location if you wish. It can be difficult when you are isolated while trying to deal with these additional challenges, but there are lots of people who want to be supportive and helpful. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone you are comfortable talking to. If you know someone who is struggling, please reach out to them as well. It can make all the difference for people to know that someone cares.

As you can see, there are many reasons and ways to connect with others online. While it’s not ideal for many of us, it has become our new normal for the time being. If we are able to focus on the positive, we can remind ourselves that we can stay in touch with our loved ones, we can meet people we would have never met otherwise, we can learn new things and most of all, this too shall pass. How are you staying connected with your loved ones? Have you done anything creative to bring people together virtually? Tell us in the comments.

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Personal Development, Self Care

How To Show Self Compassion

May 6, 2020

How are you doing? Where are you in this strange world we are living in? Maybe you are one of those people who is maximizing your time by taking courses, organizing your home or being productive with your work. Maybe you are on the other end of the spectrum and it’s all you can do to get out of bed and get dressed. Chances are, you are probably somewhere in the middle. Especially if you are a mom trying to hold down a job, homeschool kids and take care of the house. Where ever you are at this moment, I want to remind you to show some self compassion.

I’m writing about self compassion today because it is a struggle I am having. Chances are, I’m not alone in this. When the stay at home orders first started, I was thankful that I had some extra time to put towards my coaching and this blog. I was excited to have extra time with my daughter. I always wanted to stay at home with her, so I was looking atthis as an opportunity. For the first couple of weeks, things were going great. I had lots of motivation and my daughter was loving having me at home.

As time passes, I have lost the motivation to write which leaves me discouraged. I’ve also noticed behavioral changes in my daughter. She’s angry that she can’t go back to school and she misses her friends. She always tells me that she’s scared, but when I ask her what is scaring her she tells me, “monsters.” I’m wondering if it’s really monsters she’s scared of or is it something else. Is she scared that we may get sick? Is she scared of something she can’t put into words? She’s only four, so much of this is beyond her comprehension, but she is piecing things together and trying to make sense of it all. I’m trying to help her stay motivated with her learning, but she can’t focus. Quite frankly, neither can I.

Is it time to get back to the drawing board? Probably. We need to take a new approach. I’ve started with toy and book rotation, more snuggle time and a lot more going with the flow. As a coach, it’s my job to help others stay motivated and working towards achieving their goals, but I am only human and I am definitely feeling overwhelmed, sad and frusterated.

Your Challenges

What are your struggles?

Is it a lack of motivation?
Is it work/life balance?
Are your kids having trouble adjusting to the changes?
Are you unemployed and or in a career transition?
Is it cabin fever?

Whatever your challenges are, let’s start by being kind and compassionate with ourselves. We are in extraordinary circumstances.

What is self compassion?

The definition of self compassion is is the extension of kindness, care, warmth, and understanding (instead of beratement and criticism) toward oneself when faced with shortcomings, inadequacies, or failures.

When I think of self compassion, I picture this situation. When your friend is going through a tough time, what do you tell them? If your friend tells you she let the kids eat junk food because she didn’t feel like cooking or that they sat in front of the tv for too long, what would you tell her? You would probably tell her to be kind to herself. You’d tell her to try again tomorrow and not to worry so much. You wouldn’t tell her that she’s a terrible mother for not feeding organic or putting the kids in front of the tv so that she can get a moment of peace. If we are kind and compassionate with our friends, why do we criticize ourselves for the same actions?

Tips for Self Compassion

1. Say kind things to yourself.

If those negative statements pop into your head when you lose motivation, snap at your children or forget to take care of yourself, try using a positive statement instead.

I will use calm words with my children.

I may be overwhelmed, but I am a good mother.

I will start fresh tomorrow.

I have achieved these goals and will achieve my goals in the future.

Whatever your negative self-talk is, think of positive statements to challenge these beliefs. Write them down if you have to.

2. Stop and practice gratitude.

Whether it is in your head, on paper or in your phone, stop and write a few things you are grateful for. It may bring you joy and help you feel centered again.

3. Practice self-care.

If you are able to take just a short break to something for your self, it can make all the difference. Here are some ideas.

Journaling,

Meditation,

Taking a walk,

Take a bubble bath,

Have your favorite drink or comfort food,

Read a book or maybe just one chapter.

4. Connect With Others

If you can’t seem to give your self any compassion, reach out to someone who will lift you up. Call a friend, a family member or others in your network. Sometimes, it helps to talk things out. You may come away with a new perspective or will feel better in knowing that someone else understands and has your back.

Where ever you are at this point, it is okay. If you are on fire with ambition, that’s awesome! If you are feeling down, be kind to yourself. If you and your kids are driving each other crazy, take a break if you can and find something you can enjoy. That’s what I’ve been doing this week. I’m taking care of myself so that when I come back, I will have more positive energy and a renewed sense of purpose. Most importantly, I am showing some self compassion and I hope these tips help you do the same.

How are you and your children coping with all of this? Tell me in the comments.

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Personal Development, Self Care

How To Sit With Your Feelings

April 15, 2020

In my last post, I talked about how we can use the time in quarantine for personal development. Coincidentally, an article came across my newsfeed about how there is this push to make ourselves a project during this time. While I agree that there has been a push to use this time to improve ourselves, I don’t see it as a bad thing. I see it as one way we can put positivity back into our lives. Also, I think if you see yourself as a project, it diminishes your worth. If you see yourself as a complete being that is constantly evolving, doesn’t that sound better?

Pay Attention to Your Feelings

That being said, the author brought up a really good point that I want to focus on. When there is a huge push to go, go, go, it is distracting. When we are constantly in motion, we don’t have time to sift through our feelings. While I think it is a great idea to do some personal development during this time, I encourage you to incorporate working through these difficult feelings as a part of your routine.

This is a tragedy like no other in our lifetime. It is effecting everyone in different ways. People are losing their lives. Families are losing loved ones. To make things worse, family members can’t be with their loved ones who have to die alone. It’s heartbreaking even if you aren’t going through it. On the flip side, there are people getting sick, but they are fully recovering. The scary thing is you never know who will be the lucky ones. As this goes on, you might be feeling grief, sadness, worry and fear.

Then there is all the other stuff. You might be unemployed and not sure when you will get your next check. You might be worried about getting enough food or personal products. You can’t go see family members or friends. Schools are closed and you might be trying to homeschool your children. Children are missing their friends and normal routines. Students can’t have proms or graduation ceremonies. Vacations and weddings have been canceled. Then there are all the pregnant women who have their own set of challenges. It’s a scary and strange time and we all will have to deal with our feelings at some point.

Strategies to Cope With Strong Feelings

Simply acknowledge the feelings.

Recognize them, name them in your head and allow yourself to feel them.

Journal

Write everything down. Give yourself that safe space to let go of everything.

Release the feelings

For some people, it helps to wrip up or burn the paper after they’ve written about a negative event or negative feelings. It’s a way of releasing that negative energy from your mind and your physical space.

Other people just need to have a good cry or can release the feelings by doing something physical. You can either go for a walk, do a workout at home or take a bike ride.

Create

Some people work through feelings by creating something. You can use any kind of art, music or writing to express yourself.

Reach Out

Even though we are apart, we are all in this together. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a friend or family member. Sometimes just asking someone how they are doing can make all the difference. Mental health is so important and if you know someone who is struggling, please reach out to them. If you are struggling and need to talk to a therapist, don’t be afraid to reach out. It really can help to talk to someone.

If we all take this time now to work through how we are feeling, we will come out of this that much stronger. If you are one of those people who is constantly in motion distracting yourself, take a few minutes to stop and breathe. Let yourself feel even if it is hard. We will get through this eventually. Things will never quite be the same, but we will find our way down this new path together.

How are you holding up during these tough times? Tell me in the comments.

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Goals and Dreams, Personal Development

How To Use Time in Quarantine for Personal Development

April 13, 2020

When this quarantine period started in mid-March, I was lost. This was the first time in nine years that I was unemployed. It was also the first time I was home with my daughter full-time. With no preschool for her and no work for me, it was totally different. I had been wanting a change, but not under these circumstances. I was afraid of getting sick. I didn’t know how I’d end up paying my bills. I was worried about our food situation. I had so many worries and questions floating around in my head.

Shift Your Mindset

Meanwhile, I was about half way through my coaching course with World Coach Institute. On one of those calls, I talked to a classmate about how I was feeling overwhelmed and lost. He told me that this time was a gift so that I could focus on my business. When I started thinking of it like that, I felt much more positive about our situation. After my mindset changed, things started to fall into place.

I think of this time as a gift. How can you reframe this time of being alone to something positive you can identify with? Maybe you think of this time as a change, a rebirth or a chance to rethink your priorities. Maybe this time can be a reconnection. A reconnection to yourself as well as your connection to those around you. Even though we can’t be in the same room, there are plenty of ways to reach out to each other.

How To Choose Your Focus

If you are as overwhelmed and lost as I was, choosing something to focus on can seem like a daunting task. The obvious choice for me is my coaching business since it’s one of my big dreams for this decade and I was already taking the course. Have there been changes you wanted to make? Is there something you’ve always wanted to learn about? Is your home in need of cleaning and or organization? Have you wanted to start a new hobby?

Write everything down. Your dreams, goals, changes you want to make, things you’ve always wanted to try and then prioritize them. Then ask yourself, which of these things can I do from home?

Possibilities

Work on your business,
Spring clean,
Reorganize your home,
Do activities with your kids,
Start a new exercise routine,
Find a new hobby,
Take a course,
Read books,
Start a journaling or meditation practice,
If you’ve been running non stop, take a break.

What other ideas can you come up with? How are you improving your life during this period of uncertainty? Scroll down and tell me in the comments!

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