Gratitude

What To Do When You Want to Feel Grateful, but Don’t

November 30, 2020

I was going to end my gratitude series with a post on the 20 things I’m thankful for in 2020, but whenever I sit down to write this post, I’m not feeling grateful. I’m thinking about all the things that are not working for me right now and I’m thinking about everything wrong in the world. That doesn’t leave much head space for gratitude. Rather than try to force myself to write a post that’s not coming, I thought why not share strategies to help you when you are having difficulty feeling grateful. Here are three strategies that can help you when you want to feel gratitude, but don’t.

Accept Your Feelings

Everyone knows that it’s better to have positive thoughts. I don’t think anyone consciously wants to stay in a negative thought pattern, but it’s easy to get stuck there. I think of it as a spiral. Something negative can happen to me in the morning and it can effect me for the rest of the day. On the other hand if something really positive happens, your thoughts start to go upward and you notice the positive things that are happening. This is why well meaning people say things like, “think positive” or “be grateful for what you have.” Well, there are times when life feels pretty shitty and you can’t see the beauty because you are living your nightmare day after day. The nightmare is different for everyone. It could be an abusive relationship, a horrible job, a bad break up, losing a loved one etc. There is usually something to be grateful for in the end no matter the situation, but sometimes it can be microscopic.

If you’re the person who needs the magnifying glass right now to see beauty in your life or to find that shred of gratitude, it’s okay. I’ll say that again, it’s okay not to feel grateful every moment. It makes those moments when you feel real gratitude even more powerful. Just notice how you are feeling and let it pass. You are not a horrible person if you weren’t spilling over with gratitude over the Thanksgiving holiday. I know I wasn’t and I felt guilty about it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is healthier to accept my feelings.

Make a Happy List

While there are so many benefits of gratitude, that doesn’t matter if you are not feeling it. Your mindset doesn’t change over night. Sometimes, we have to take baby steps. Rather than thinking about things you are grateful for, start by thinking about or making a list of what makes you happy. What makes you smile? What makes you laugh? You may be thinking, but isn’t that a gratitude list? Well, in a way it is since gratitude and happiness are closely linked. I want to take gratitude out of the equation for now because if you are not feeling grateful, you may feel pressured to come up with things you are grateful for. On the other hand, it’s not usually hard to come up with a list of things that make you happy.

This list can be as short or long as you want. It can be things from both past and present. Here’s a sample list I came up with.
Rosebud, mocha coffee, cupcakes, making people laugh, the beach, reading a good book, when someone says something I wrote helped them, wearing a pretty dress, snuggling with Diamond, hot chocolate, cheese cake, days off, chats with friends, when I’ve helped a coaching client, baby laughter, etc. I could go on and on, but you get the point. After you’ve made your list, how do you feel? Do you feel happier? Are you feeling more grateful than when you started?

Reverse Bucket List

When you think of a bucket list, you usually think of all the things you want to do in the future. Well, a reverse bucket list is all the amazing things you’ve already done.

What have you accomplished that you are proud of?
What events have made your life meaningful?
What have you really enjoyed about your life?

The purpose of doing this list is to remind yourself of the great things you’ve done in your past. Some examples may be having your children, meeting your partner, your wedding day, an amazing vacation, getting an advanced degree, a career switch, buying a home, learning an important lesson etc. You may in fact be grateful for these things, but haven’t stopped to appreciate them. This way, if you aren’t feeling grateful in the moment, you can recall things that will bring you back to feeling gratitude.

Did you have trouble feeling gratitude this season? What do you do when you are feeling ungrateful? Tell me in the comments.

0 comments

Activities For Kids, Gratitude, Personal Development

10 activities to help teach your children about gratitude

November 19, 2020

For the past two weeks, I’ve been talking about gratitude. First, I went over some of the benefits of gratitude. Then I shared a list of 50 journal prompts to help you jump start your gratitude practice. This week, I’ll show you some different exercises that will help you teach your kids about gratitude.

Gratitude Journaling

This adds onto last week’s post filled with gratitude journal prompts, some of which you can use with your kids. These may be fun to explore with school age children. Here are some additional prompt ideas.

What are you grateful for about your family?

Who are your friends and what do you like about them?

What makes you happy?

What do you have that other kids might not have?

Where are your favorite places to go and why?

What do you like about yourself?

What do you like about school?

Favorites

Make lists of any of these.

People you love,

Toys,

Games,

Songs,

Movies and or tv shows,

Things about nature,

Memories.

The Five Senses

Make a list of the things that you can see, hear, smell, touch and taste that you are grateful for.

If you can’t taste anything in that moment, make a list of favorite foods, snacks, candy etc.

Same goes for smell. What smells do you love?

If your kids aren’t writers, do this exercise on a long drive. What do you see out your window that you are grateful for?

Gratitude Photos

To expand on the journaling idea and to make it more creative, have your kids take photos of the things they are grateful for or draw them.

To add another educational twist, find things from A to Z and make a gratitude alphabet book.

Gratitude Collage or Vision Board

Have your children cut out pictures from magazines of the things they are grateful for. You could also have them take photos, draw pictures or print off pictures from the internet. The options are endless. You can also include quotes if they resonate. Younger children could simply make a collage of things they love where older children could make a full vision board filled with pictures, quotes and their goals and dreams for the future. Let them be creative and run wild with this.

Gratitude Tree

Here’s another great craft to do around Thanksgiving or any time. Cut out or draw a blank tree and some paper leaves. Each day, write something you are grateful for on a leaf and add it to the tree.

Gratitude scavenger hunt

Decide on some objects or things in the environment that you are grateful for and either make a list or find a scavenger hunt printable. Have your kids find the objects and check them off the list.

Gratitude Jar

You can use any glass or plastic jar for this. Take3 several strips of paper and each day, have your child write something they are grateful for and put it in the jar.

Random Acts of Kindness

Kindness goes well with gratitude and this activity is similar to the gratitude jar. Make it a kindness jar instead. Take strips of paper and write random acts of kindness on each. Then every day, pick a piece of paper and complete the act of kindness for that day. Some acts of kindness include:

Give a family member a hug,

Do a chore without being asked,

Write a thank you note,

Give a gift,

Give someone a compliment,

Share something with a friend or family member,

Help someone who needs it

Make Donations

Find a favorite charity and either donate money, time or items. If your favorite family charity is an animal shelter, volunteer to walk dogs or spend time with the cats. If you are donating to a food pantry, have your kids help gather food items. One great way to get your kids involved is to have them donate some of their old toys before they get new ones. It helps them to understand that some kids have less and that it’s wonderful to share with others. Plus it helps the environment because there are less toys simply being thrown away.

Gratitude Before Bedtime

Why not end the day by talking about the things that you are grateful for? It’s a nice way to wind down and relax. You could make it a ritual and talk about what happened that day to be grateful for as apart of the bedtime routine. If your night time routine is too full, it is also a nice way to wake up in the morning. It could be a relaxing and mood boosting way to start the day.

Meditation

Speaking of bedtime, there are lots of great meditations for kids that are all about gratitude and kindness. If you practice meditation, you may want to get your children involved as well. This is another relaxing bed time ritual or a way to help your kids wake up in the morning.

Reading

We’ve reached the last item on my list. Books are a great way to start teaching your kids about anything and gratitude is no exception. There are tons of books that can help you introduce children to gratitude. I’ll list some of them here.

Check out this post for more gratitude activities for kids.

Do you have a gratitude practice? How do you get your children involved? Tell me in the comments.

3 Comments

Gratitude, Personal Development, Self Care

50 Journal Prompts to Express Gratitude

November 12, 2020

This is the second post in my gratitude series for November. If you missed it, check out these Five Benefits of Starting a Gratitude Practice. Now that we know why we should practice gratitude regularly, let’s dive into some gratitude exercises. There are different things you can do depending on your preferences, but this week, I will be focusing on journaling.

Why Journaling?

My favorite way to practice gratitude is through journaling for several reasons.

It can be done in five minutes if you are short on time.
The writing possibilities are endless.
You can journal on a small notebook or your phone making it convenient.
You can use photos to capture your thoughts instead of writing.
Writing can be therapeutic regardless of the topic.

You may be thinking, what do I write about? Well, as I said above, the possibilities are endless, but I’m giving you 50 journal prompts to get you started. They are in no particular order. Just use the ones that resonate with you. Feel the joy and gratitude this can bring and don’t forget to have fun with this.

Gratitude for Today

List five things you are grateful for.
Look around the room and list as many things that you see that you are grateful for.
What made you smile today?
What things do you take for granted?
What’s one thing you learned today or this week?
What is your most recent purchase that has added value to your life?
How can you share your gratitude with others?
How can you pamper yourself today?
How is your life more positive today than it was a year ago?
What’s one win you’ve experienced in the past 24 hours?
Take a photo of something you are grateful for and caption it.

Gratitude for Memories

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen or heard?
List some acts of kindness that people have shown you.
Describe your favorite childhood memory.
Whats the best book you’ve read and why?
Write about a difficult experience you learned from.
What family tradition are you most grateful for?
What gifts have you enjoyed the most?

Gratitude for Yourself

Make a list of the things you are good at.
Make a list of the things you enjoy.
What are your favorite foods?
What helps you relax?
Make a list of your favorite songs. Better yet, make a playlist on your favorite music service.
Make a list of your successes.
Make a list of your favorite quotes.
What makes you unique?
What skills do you have that others may not?
What do other people like about you?
What can you learn from your negative qualities?
Describe the last time you truly felt at peace.
List 10 things you can’t live without.
What is something you’ve recently fixed?

Gratitude for Others

Who supports you?
Write about someone who’s made a positive difference in your life.
What is your favorite memory of your family members? Do this for each one.
Describe your pets and why you are grateful for them.
What do you love about your current relationship status?
What small things do you enjoy with a special person in your life?

Gratitude for your Surroundings

Where is your favorite place to visit and why?
What do you love about your neighborhood/community?
What is your favorite part of nature?
Who inspires you?
What are your favorite things about the season you are currently in?
What do you love about your home?
Write about a great experience with customer service.
Where are your favorite places to shop, eat etc?

Gratitude for Your Past and Future

What are you looking forward to in the upcoming year?
Describe your perfect day.
List 10 things you have today that you didn’t have five years ago.
What are you looking forward to this week?

Do you do gratitude journaling? If so, what are your favorite prompts? What are you grateful for? Tell me in the comments. Be sure to come back next week to learn how to get your kids involved in practicing gratitude! I am grateful for you!

5 Comments

Gratitude, Personal Development

5 Benefits of a Daily Gratitude Practice

November 5, 2020

For the month of November, I will be doing a series of posts on gratitude. Since Thanksgiving is coming up here in the U.S, it’s a great time to start focusing on things to be thankful for. However, if you live outside of the U.S or don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, you can still practice gratitude. In fact, you should be practicing gratitude all year long because studies have shown that their are numerous benefits of a regular gratitude practice. Here are just five of the benefits of gratitude that I’ve noticed since starting my own gratitude practice.

Before this year, I’d make lists os of the things I’m grateful for from time to time, but I didn’t do this regularly. It wasn’t until I started focusing on the wonderful things in my daily life that I noticed a shift in my mindset. I’ll admit that it’s not perfect and I’m still pessimistic by nature, but it has definitely improved my outlook.

Gratitude is a mood booster

Studies suggest that people who regularly express gratitude are happier. This seems pretty obvious when you think about it. When you pay more attention to the good things in life, it boosts your mood. For example, if I’ve had a rough day and I start making a list of the things I’m grateful for, I’ll start smiling because Rosebud is always at the top of my list. When I think about her, it’s usually about something funny she did or said that day. Right away, there’s a subtle shift in my mood.

To try this out for yourself, grab a piece of paper and make a happy list. It can be anything you are grateful for or anything that makes you feel good. When you are done with your list, read it over. How did you feel before writing your list? How do you feel after?

Gratitude helps you relax

Practicing gratitude regularly has so many benefits to your mental health. Along with improving your mood, gratitude can reduce stress. Let’s go back to the rough day I mentioned above. If I go to bed thinking about all the negative stuff that happened that day, my stress levels are still high as I fall asleep. I’m not fully relaxed, but if I simply take a few minutes to write down some things I’m grateful for, it helps me focus on the good things before sleep. This way, I’m more relaxed and do less ruminating about my day. I’m not thinking about everything I didn’t get done from the todo list or something I could’ve done or said differently. Basically, it refocuses your thoughts.

This works in the morning as well. If you feel stressed in the morning or have a million reasons that you don’t want to get out of bed, try doing some gratitude. It doesn’t matter if you write it, speak it or just take five minutes to think about what you are grateful for, it will start your day off on the right foot.

Gratitude improves physical health

We’ve already discussed a couple of the mental health benefits, but gratitude has many physical health benefits as well. When you are feeling happier or relaxed, you will notice a difference in your body. Some of the health benefits include lower blood pressure, improved sleep, more exercise etc. This article goes into more details about the various health benefits of practicing gratitude.

Notice the small things

We spend too much time focusing on the wrong things. It’s easy to get caught up in negative thoughts and or drama. We may get sucked into negative conversations. We worry about stuff that won’t matter to anyone but ourselves. Too often, we care way too. Much about what other people think. This is where gratitude can help.

Gratitude journaling has helped me focus on all the wonderful things in my life. Big things, small things and everything in between. All the stuff I’d normally take for granted such as running water, electricity, TV, internet, the computer I’m using, my iPhone, nature, my home, the clothes on my back, a comfortable bed, the washer and dryer, friends, family and my freedom. I could go on and on. You could be thankful for your favorite food, your car, drinking water, your body etc. There are so many things we take for granted every day. Practicing gratitude helps you slow down and enjoy each and every one of these things. When we realize how much we have, we learn how truly fortunate we are.

Gratitude helps you manifest what you want

Here’s a benefit of gratitude that is on the spiritual side. No matter what religious beliefs you have, practicing gratitude can fit in with any of them because it’s focusing on the blessings in your life. It can help your spiritual mindset regardless. However, if you believe in the law of attraction which basically states that you attract what you put out into the universe. It focuses on energy, so if you release positive energy, you will get positive energy in return. Gratitude is one of the best ways to “raise your vibration.” If you are interested in the law of attraction, I highly recommend this book. It’s the simplest explanation of the law of attraction hat I’ve ever read and there are so many exercises that you can build into your daily life. Many of them are around gratitude.
 
Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to start manifesting what you want. The more you focus on what you have, the more things will come to you. The key is to visualize and focus not he things you want as if you already have them. One exercise you can try is to make a list of 15 things you are grateful for. Five from your past, five from your present and five from your future, but write them all down in the past or present tense. Here’s a sample list.

I’m grateful that I have found the love of my life.
I’m grateful that I made $10,000 last month.
I’m so thankful that I have a best friend who I can tell anything to.
I’m so grateful that I was able to travel last year.
I’m so grateful that I have a sweet, fun and intelligent daughter.

Okay, some of those things have happened and some of them haven’t, but it doesn’t matter. The point to be just as grateful for your past, present and future because the feelings are the same even if it has not happened yet and the physical and mental benefits are the same as well.

What do you think? Do you have a gratitude practice? What benefits have you noticed? Tell me in the comments! If you have not started a gratitude practice yet, be sure to check back next week as I will be sharing gratitude journaling prompts and exercises for you to try!

9 Comments