Coaching

How to Choose Your Word for 2021

December 31, 2020

Since 2020 is finally wrapping up, I want to start focusing on 2021. Honestly, I’m grateful that 2020 is ending. It has been a horrible year for many. However, I will be taking some things from 2020 with me like the importance of slowing down, continuing to build my business as well as the personal progress I’ve made this year. While I know all the terrible things won’t go away the moment the ball drops, it’s important to look ahead. Have you been thinking about New Years resolutions?

The truth is most people make resolutions and then lose their motivation after a month or two. This is why I’ve gotten into the practice of choosing a word for the year. Even if you change or drop your goals, your word can still guide you. You don’t have to feel guilty about not sticking to those New Years resolutions. You can use your word as a guide for your daily actions and even if you skip a day or a week, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Doesn’t that sound much better? Here is how to choose your word for 2021.

Word for 2021 Brainstorming Exercises

You may already have a word in mind or you might not know how to start if this is your first time. The first step is to brainstorm and you can go about this in several ways.

Journaling

Write in your journal. Describe what you want 2021 to look like. Don’t forget all areas of your life. Personal, family, professional, social life, hobbies etc. The sky is the limit.

Do any themes reoccur?

Do any words pop out at you?

What feeling do you get?

Vision Board

If you are a more visual person, you may want to create a vision board for 2021. If you spend time visualizing your goals, you will achieve them. Just the act of visualizing your goals can bring them closer. If you don’t know where to start or don’t have any inspiration, there are tons of vision board images and tutorials online.

You can create a physical version with a sheet of poster board and some cut out pictures or you can create a digital version.

Here are some things you may want to put on your board.

Inspirational quotes or phrases,

Words that resonate with you,

Places you’d like to travel too,

Items you’d like to have,

Pictures of your dream home,

Pictures that represent your goals such as money, fitness, schooling, new hobbies etc.

Family life: Children, weddings, new partner, current partner etc.

The sky is the limit with this exercise too. Let your imagination and creativity go and make something you love!

Word Cloud

Make a word cloud or list of words that resonate with you. Whatever pops into your head. You can either do this exercise first or be inspired to make your list by one of the other exercises. Anything goes here as well.

What word or words pop out at you?

Which words connect to your goals?

Set Goals

If you haven’t already, set some goals for the new year. I know that I’ve said you may not want to set New Years resolutions, but there still may be goals or dreams you have in mind for 2021 and beyond. Maybe you want to get in better shape, find a new relationship, be more present with your kids, take a family vacation etc. List your goals and the steps you need to take to get there. For more specific goal setting tips, come join me on Instagram!

For now, just make a list of your top goals and see if any of them are connected. Perhaps, that’s where you will find your word.

Let’s take my goals for 2021 as an example.

1. Get ten coaching clients.

2. Take a course for marketing on Instagram.

3. Create my new weekly newsletter.

4. Meet the man I have been talking to online.

5. Be more present with Rosebud.

6. Try a new hobby.

Most of these goals relate to beginning, creating, or starting something new, so I have chosen the word beginning for 2021. When I picture 2021, I picture a year of beginnings. A fresh start with opportunities to create something new. Wiping the slate clean and drawing a new picture. Rosebud has this new writing tablet and when she is done with her picture, all she has to do is push a button and it disappears. You are left with a blank screen to start over. That is my metaphor for 2021. Beginning again.

List of Words for Inspiration

If you aren’t inspired yet, here are a list of words to help you get started.

Adventure, Abundance, Change, Confidence, Connection,

Direction, Excitement, Focus, Friendship, Gratitude,

Happiness, Joy, Kindness, Learning, Love,

Movement, Positivity, Present, Productive, Reflection,

Renewing, Results, Self-acceptance, Self-care, Sharing,

Tolerance, Trust, Truth, Wealth, Wonder.

What is your word for 2021? Tell me in the comments. I’d love to know. I wish you a happy new year. May 2021 be filled with peace and prosperity for all of us. I hope 2021 will be a time to reconnect and reunite. As always, stay safe and healthy.

1 Comment

Motherhood, Personal Development, Self Care

How To Accept Your Uniqueness

December 10, 2020

I had a plan for this week. I was going to talk a little about self-care and do a list of stocking stuffers to pamper the moms in your life. While gift guides are great and we all need to take care of ourselves, I wasn’t feeling compelled to put it together. Right now, there is something more important in my heart. It is still a form of self-care, but it’s not the tangible measurable kind. It’s the kind that you feel in your heart and soul. It’s the kind that helps you feel at peace and at ease with yourself.

Accepting Uniqueness

Today I want to share an amazing strategy for working on self acceptance. Some people say these things are flaws, imperfections or quirks. I prefer to see it as your uniqueness. It’s the stuff that makes you who you are. The stuff that makes you like no one else. The stuff that makes you interesting!

Embrace Yourself

Last weekend, Rosebud really wanted to paint, so I decided to let her paint while I worked on Instagram posts. By the time she was done, there was paint everywhere. It was all over her, her tray and dripping off the paper. It was the kind of painting I couldn’t keep. I lifted it to put it on the counter to dry and the paint poured off. It upset Rosebud, but it went straight to the trash. Honestly, I was bothered by the mess. It took me forever to clean it up and while I know messy play is important for kids, I hate dealing with it. I clean up after kids all day at work. I don’t want to do it here too. It’s not fair to Rosebud, but it’s a fact. I do set up messy play opportunities for her, but they are few and far between.

The No Paint Mama

My anxiety about clean up goes through the roof and I hate feeling that every time. At first, I started thinking about what a failure I am as a mom. How my child needs this and maybe I’m depriving her of something, but am I really or am I too focused on the shoulds and coulds. In that moment, I decided to embrace the fact that I’m not a messy play mom. I told one person on Instagram that I’d be the no paint mama.

When I thought about it, Rosebud enjoys many forms of sensory play like water, the rice bin, kinetic sand, play-dough,, water beads, shredded paper etc. She does drawing, water colors, gluing, cutting and decorating with stickers, so she gets plenty of exposure to arts and crafts. Even after all that, why was I hung up on the paint? She doesn’t need to do messy finger painting every day to be a well rounded child. Those voices popped up in my head. Those annoying shoulds.

What They Tell Us

Then today during a coaching call, I had this amazing break through. This is why I love coaching so much. We were talking about marketing strategies for my business and how to make the best use of my time. I told her how I felt I was making the most of my time by using Instagram, but there are the shoulds. The experts saying that you need to be on all forms of social media and be doing all things. You need to post videos, write blog entries, send out a newsletter, create podcasts, schedule multiple posts on every platform etc.

In real life, this is too much for one person. This involves hiring tasks out. While this is possible for a successful business owner, you can’t always do this when you are first starting out. I need to simplify, so for now I am focusing on one social media platform. While so many people recommend Facebook for this purpose, I had to choose the one I’m having the most fun and best interaction with. Even if it goes against the advice of the so called experts who don’t know me or my audience. I need to follow my own path.

Living in the Present

My next battle with the shoulds was about creating a marketing plan. The experts say to create a 60 or 90 day marketing plan. While this works great for sales, tracking income etc, it wasn’t working for me with social media marketing. I have a 90 day plan laid out in a spread sheet and you know what? I used none of it. You might be wondering why. It’s because I need to create content around what I’m feeling in that moment. What am I struggling with? What can my audience relate to? How can I be the most authentic?

If I’m focusing on something from three months ago, I may not be feeling that way today. Everything surrounding children and motherhood change so fast, that I have to scrap my plan. This is a metaphor for motherhood, right? Nothing goes as planned. As soon as you have something figured out, it changes.

The Strategy

Speaking of metaphors, that is the strategy. My coach asked me what I took away from our sessions, but she asked me if there was one image that I could hold in my mind that embodied everything I’ve learned. It didn’t make sense at first, but the first image that came to mind was a fluffy white cloud floating along in the sky. The more I thought about it, a girl floated on top of the cloud. As I explained the cloud metaphor to my coach, it started to take shape.

I am embracing my uniqueness and every cloud has its own shape. Clouds are floating. The wind is carrying them, but they have an energy of their own. They are not listening to the other clouds, they are on their own path, reaching their own destination. Their shapes may change over time. They may rise or fall. They may come together to touch other clouds or break away on their own, but in the end, they have their uniqueness. Isn’t that why we look at them? Isn’t that where we find the beauty?

Chipping Away

This strategy isn’t an easy fix. Accepting yourself is life long work. It changes from day to day. I see it like creating a sculpture. Each day, you chip away and get one step closer to where you want to be. The beautiful sculpture starts to take its shape and then is revealed over time.

What is Your Metaphor?

What do you need to embrace? What is your image or metaphor that can help you accept your beauty? Your uniqueness. The things that make you interesting, authentic and wonderful. If you need help with this process, let’s jump on a

discovery call. I’d love to help you celebrate your uniqueness.

1 Comment

Personal Development

How To Create Positivity from Missed opportunities

September 16, 2020

I had an experience last week that got me thinking about missed opportunities and the things that we participate in that we think are beneficial, but it turns out they aren’t. The question is what do we do with those missed opportunities? What do we do when a door closes? We pick up and start over. Here’s how to turn a missed opportunity into something positive. As the saying goes, turn lemons into lemonade.

When One Door Closes

This story is such a first world problem. It’s so inconsequential when we look at the big picture, but sometimes the smallest things can teach us the greatest lessons. I was apart of a Facebook group for bloggers where we can promote our blog using the daily threads. I have been a regular participant in this group for a while and always did my best to give more than I take. I’d always engage with the other bloggers on the threads. Whether it be liking social media posts on their accounts, commenting, or sharing their blog posts.If you know me, you know that I always try to go above and beyond to do things the right way. Especially when it involves helping other people. It was a shock to me that I was suddenly muted and could no longer respond to the other comments or post. There were days when I couldn’t respond until late in the day because I’m a busy mom. I make my original comments in the morning and then go back throughout the day to help the other bloggers. That is what’s always worked for me.

At first, I got mad because by doing that, they were basically accusing me of dropping my link and running. Then I was disappointed because I couldn’t participate for another month, but I quickly realized that maybe that group wasn’t the place for me anyway. When I thought about it, most of the bloggers in that group aren’t apart of my niche. While their content is great and they were super helpful, there wasn’t much of a connection. They aren’t the people that will become my clients. I could’ve waited a month and then tried to figure out what I had done wrong. Then I could spend time making sure I followed every rule, but for what?

I had to ask myself, how is this benefiting me? Is it helping my blog or coaching practice grow? How does it make me feel to be apart of this group now? It wasn’t giving my blog that much of a boost and I no longer felt welcome in the group. In the past, rejection hit me hard and while I felt a touch of that, I turned it around to something positive.

How To Move On

I started looking for groups that were geared towards busy moms, coaches and female bloggers. I found several that I have joined and so far, they’ve been wonderful groups. The best part is that they’ve given my blog a boost and the women are awesome. There is a supportive environment where we help each other. If you are interested in joining any of these groups, find their links at the end of this post.

Journal Prompts

How about you?
Are there any doors that have closed for you lately? How are you feeling about these experiences now? Here are some prompts to dive into if you use journaling to get your thoughts out. If you aren’t much of a writer, don’t worry about it. Just answer these questions in your head. The answers are all within you.

Describe your last missed opportunity.
Is this a positive or negative thing for you?
Did a better opportunity open up as a result?
If not, how can you turn it into a new opportunity?

List your first three steps for creating your next opportunity.

Finding Clarity

This process also works if you are trying to decide if a. New opportunity is right for you or if you need to get out of a situation. This could be a relationship, friendship or anything work related. Of course, we have to do things we don’t want to do at times. It’s a fact of life, but we can change our mindset. When deciding if something is right for you, answer these questions to get clarity.

How does it make you feel in your body?

If you let this thing go, what will happen?(pros and cons)

What are you giving up by moving on?
What are you giving up if you stick with it?
What are you gaining from moving on?
What are you gaining by staying where you are?

When thinking about doors opening and closing in life, I try to remember this quote. “What is meant for you won’t pass you by.” This applies in business, relationships, purchases, friendships etc. What doors have opened or closed for you lately? Tell me in the comments. If you’d like to talk about creating amazing opportunities in your own life, feel free to book a discovery call to see how we can work together. I’d love to hear from you!

As promised, here are the Facebook groups I mentioned above.

Mom Blog Network Personal Development and Wellness Bloggers

Successful Mom Entrepreneurs Women’s Side Hustle Network

4 Comments

Personal Development

Are You Valuing You?

August 26, 2020

Are you valuing your value?

Let that sink in. Do you really see your value and are you allowing others to see it?

To figure this out, reflect on how you respond to people and the boundaries you set. In friendships or relationships

Are people respectful of your time and how do you respond?

Do you drop plans for people or do you expect to be contacted in a reasonable amount of time?

If people flake out on you, do you bother to get back with them?

Once in a while is fine and understandable, but if this is a patern for you, you may have some work to do.

Valuing Your Time

If you value your own time, others will as well. Of course, being flexible is a wonderful trait to have. There may be times when people contact you last minute to get together or people may make you wait. If this is a constant for you, you may want to look at your schedule and how valuable your time is. This is one way to create boundaries and know that your time is valuable. You don’t have to say yes to everything especially if it interferes with your schedule.

Ask yourself these questions to know if the request is that important.

Do I really want to do this or do I feel obligated?

Is this person/activity a priority?

Will it fit in with my current schedule?

Will doing this make me feel good or will I feel tired or drained?

Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

Do those closest to you respect where you are in life?

This is important. Are your family and friends interested, excited or positive about what you do? Of course, not everyone is going to be interested in everything, but if your friends can’t show some positivity or encouragement, maybe it’s time to rethink the relationship. If you feel dragged down, devalued or drained after a meeting with this person, perhaps they don’t see your value.

This goes for relationships as well. Does your partner value your characteristics? If you are driven, successful, inteligent etc, is your partner turned off by that. If he or she is the right person for you, they wouldn’t be. I’m speaking from experience here, but if your partner doesn’t value your goals, who you are and the path that you are on in life, it’s definitely time to move on.

Make Yourself a Priority

Finally, do you value you?

I mean do you really? Do you give your goals and dreams the time and attention they deserve? Do you make time for these things in your schedule or do you put them on the back burner because you are too busy taking care of kids, being a wife/girlfriend, cooking and cleaning or doing a meaningless job that you are constantly on the verge of quitting? If you are, it’s time to look at your values.

Grab a notebook and start brainstorming with these four questions.

What are your top five goals?

What are your values?

How do your goals reflect those values?

What is one step you can take today to move you towards accomplishing at least one goal?

The step can be very small. For example, if your goal is to start a blog, one step would be to brainstorm name ideas. Step number two could be to purchase a domain. If you don’t know what a domain is, then your step number two would be to research on domains. If one of your goals is to read four books per month, then your first step could be to choose a book. Next step, read five pages. You get the idea. It doesn’t matter which goal you choose to work on, but make it something valuable to you. Once you start seeing the value in yourself, others will follow suit.

Are you an overwhelmed mom who doesn’t know where to start? Have you lost yourself and don’t even know what your goals or values are anymore? If so, I’d love to help you. Schedule a discovery call with me and we can discuss strategies that will help you feel like that valuable mama I know you are!

4 Comments

Personal Development

5 Books That Will Change Your Life

June 30, 2020

Reading as one of the most valuable tools you can use while working on your personal development. While your own mindset is important, if you are stuck, it is helpful to read other people’s ideas and collect questions that can help guide your thought process. Personal development books can be very useful tools for reflection. It took me a while to discover this world, but I will save you time and give you a great place to start with this list of five books that will change your life.

When I was growing up, I hated reading. I could never imagine why anyone would want to read for pleasure. I’d wonder why these people weren’t doing something fun instead. I couldn’t imagine wanting to read to improve your life. I. Had no idea about the personal development genre. I also couldn’t picture why anyone would want to read to simply learn something new unless it was a school assignment. Part of it was my attitude about reading, but the other part was that because of my visual impairment, there weren’t many books available to me. The ones that were available were mostly outdated and didn’t interest me. Then I got introduced to Audible and Kindle books. Once I had access to books that were interesting and relevant to me, I grew to love reading.

It opened me up to new worlds and ideas including personal development. I discovered what a powerful tool reading can be. I had read books to mostly gather information, but had never saw reading as a way to improve my life, but throughout this journey, I have found five books that have changed my life and they can change yours too.

The Five Second Rule

The Five Second Rule is an amazing book by Mel Robbins. If you listen to the Audible version, it’s as if she’s sitting right there with you having a friendly, but extremely honest chat. The major idea behind this book is that it takes us five seconds to make decisions. We can either take or lose an opportunity in five seconds. It’s amazing when you think about it. Mel explains it better than I can because it starts with her experience, but basically if we count backwards from five, it refocuses our brain and allows us to make quicker decisions that put us into action.

For example, let’s say you want to get out of bed earlier in the morning, but your habit is to hit the snooze several times. You can’t seem to get it together in the morning and it is having a negative impact on the rest of your day. When you hear that first alarm, start counting backwards from five and then launch yourself out of bed. Mell explains it as a space shuttle launching. It gives you momentum. It sounds so simple, but most of us don’t think of doing this. The 5 second method has helped me push through anxiety about making decisions. Too many of us stay in a space of being stuck. The 5 second rule pushes us to take action.

Take Control of Your Life

This is another book by Mel Robbins. I love her simple, but effective way of explaining things. Some people may be offended by some of the language she uses, but she doesn’t sugar coat things. It may make people feel uncomfortable, but if we don’t feel discomfort, we don’t grow. This book consists of Mel doing several coaching sessions, but the first one resonated most with me. Her client was a man named Dan who was a fraud he’d never find his life’s purpose. He felt stuck and had no idea what his next steps should be. This is where I was last year.

Reading Take Control of My Life helped me to look at things from a different perspective. I tend to be an over thinker and want to do everything at once, but this book helped me break my goals down into small achievable steps. It also helped me realize that what I needed to do was follow. My interests. I didn’t need to come up with a complete plan right away. Each interest you follow will give you more information which can help you decide what your next step will be. If you are interested in learning more, I’ve done a post on how I used the Brick by Brick method.

The Five Love Languages

The next book on my list is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I recommend this book whether you are in a relationship or not. There is a version for singles, married couples and even love languages for children. This book is based off the idea that everyone gives and receives love differently and when we can tap into our partner’s love language, we can create a mutually fulfilling relationship. I will say that there are a lot of Christian references in this book, but I don’t feel it took anything away from the overall message. You can still certainly benefit from this book whether you are a Christian or not. According to Gary Chapman, the love languages are acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch and quality time. I learned that my love language is gifts. It’s how I know I’m appreciated and how I show appreciation to others. However, I now know that the recipient of my gifts may be wishing I’d show my love in other ways. This would be a great book for couples to read together or separately, but to compare notes. If you find out what your partner’s love language is, you will make them feel more love. In turn, you will feel more love as well. It’s a win win! I wish I would’ve found this book sooner.

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind – and Keep – Love

If psychology interests you, you’ll find this book interesting, but more importantly, if you’ve had troubled relationships, this book is a must read! Since I had a relatively normal childhood and had a decent relationship with my mother and other family members when I was young, I always figured I had a secure attachment style. However, when I read this book and completed the attachment questions, I learned that I have an anxious attachment style. Who wants to admit that? Certainly not me.

I was initially disgusted with myself and felt like I was doing everything all wrong. However, I am able to see where this style comes from and while I can’t totally shake the feelings of being anxious around attachment, I now have an understanding of how I can better manage my attachment related behaviors. I also learned that your attachment style can change over time and anxious people can become securely attached if they are able to create a secure environment with their partner. There’s hope for me yet! I’m making light of the matter, but I highly recommend this book whether you are currently in a relationship or not. It can also help you make sense of your past relationships.

Waking Up White and Finding Myself in the Story of Race

Who would’ve thought that as a white person, a book about race would make such an impact? Considering current events, it’s obvious that most of us needed to do this work a long time ago. While this book focuses on anti racism and has strategies on how to spot and discuss racism across cultures, the parts that impacted me most were the discussions about what it means to be white. The author really breaks down the beliefs we have in white culture. I had never thought of it this way. She is also a New Englander and I could see myself in so many things that she was talking about. Especially in terms of family culture, keeping strong emotions to yourself, avoiding conflict and sticking to basic small talk. I always assumed that my conflict avoidance was just because I wanted to be a nice person and please others. While that is true, when I really think about it, that is how most of the women are in my family. We are peace makers. We are not happy unless everyone is getting along.

When I look back on my childhood, if I cried or showed other strong emotions, I remember feeling embarrassed or ashamed to be displaying that level of emotion in front of people. Even if I was just with my family. I felt like I needed to stay strong and push through whatever was going on regardless of my feelings. Showing sadness or hurt feelings were signs of weakness. At least that’s how I internalized it. We are uncomfortable with that level of emotion.

If someone gets angry in front of me, I either want to fix it quickly by giving them whatever will calm them down. If that won’t work, I just want to get out of that situation. The same goes if someone is sad. I don’t want to sit with that. I want to make them feel better. My first instinct is to try to find a way to make them happy again. Sometimes, that can’t happen and I hate when I can’t fix it for them. Now I realize that it’s more than my individual personality at work. It’s my New England culture and apart of being white. I’m not quite done with this book yet, but it has been an eye opener. While I originally checked this book out to have a better understanding of racism and white privilege, I ended up with a better understanding of myself.

What books speak to you? What books have had an impact on your life? Tell me in the comments.

0 comments

Personal Development, Self Care

How To Show Self Compassion

May 6, 2020

How are you doing? Where are you in this strange world we are living in? Maybe you are one of those people who is maximizing your time by taking courses, organizing your home or being productive with your work. Maybe you are on the other end of the spectrum and it’s all you can do to get out of bed and get dressed. Chances are, you are probably somewhere in the middle. Especially if you are a mom trying to hold down a job, homeschool kids and take care of the house. Where ever you are at this moment, I want to remind you to show some self compassion.

I’m writing about self compassion today because it is a struggle I am having. Chances are, I’m not alone in this. When the stay at home orders first started, I was thankful that I had some extra time to put towards my coaching and this blog. I was excited to have extra time with my daughter. I always wanted to stay at home with her, so I was looking atthis as an opportunity. For the first couple of weeks, things were going great. I had lots of motivation and my daughter was loving having me at home.

As time passes, I have lost the motivation to write which leaves me discouraged. I’ve also noticed behavioral changes in my daughter. She’s angry that she can’t go back to school and she misses her friends. She always tells me that she’s scared, but when I ask her what is scaring her she tells me, “monsters.” I’m wondering if it’s really monsters she’s scared of or is it something else. Is she scared that we may get sick? Is she scared of something she can’t put into words? She’s only four, so much of this is beyond her comprehension, but she is piecing things together and trying to make sense of it all. I’m trying to help her stay motivated with her learning, but she can’t focus. Quite frankly, neither can I.

Is it time to get back to the drawing board? Probably. We need to take a new approach. I’ve started with toy and book rotation, more snuggle time and a lot more going with the flow. As a coach, it’s my job to help others stay motivated and working towards achieving their goals, but I am only human and I am definitely feeling overwhelmed, sad and frusterated.

Your Challenges

What are your struggles?

Is it a lack of motivation?
Is it work/life balance?
Are your kids having trouble adjusting to the changes?
Are you unemployed and or in a career transition?
Is it cabin fever?

Whatever your challenges are, let’s start by being kind and compassionate with ourselves. We are in extraordinary circumstances.

What is self compassion?

The definition of self compassion is is the extension of kindness, care, warmth, and understanding (instead of beratement and criticism) toward oneself when faced with shortcomings, inadequacies, or failures.

When I think of self compassion, I picture this situation. When your friend is going through a tough time, what do you tell them? If your friend tells you she let the kids eat junk food because she didn’t feel like cooking or that they sat in front of the tv for too long, what would you tell her? You would probably tell her to be kind to herself. You’d tell her to try again tomorrow and not to worry so much. You wouldn’t tell her that she’s a terrible mother for not feeding organic or putting the kids in front of the tv so that she can get a moment of peace. If we are kind and compassionate with our friends, why do we criticize ourselves for the same actions?

Tips for Self Compassion

1. Say kind things to yourself.

If those negative statements pop into your head when you lose motivation, snap at your children or forget to take care of yourself, try using a positive statement instead.

I will use calm words with my children.

I may be overwhelmed, but I am a good mother.

I will start fresh tomorrow.

I have achieved these goals and will achieve my goals in the future.

Whatever your negative self-talk is, think of positive statements to challenge these beliefs. Write them down if you have to.

2. Stop and practice gratitude.

Whether it is in your head, on paper or in your phone, stop and write a few things you are grateful for. It may bring you joy and help you feel centered again.

3. Practice self-care.

If you are able to take just a short break to something for your self, it can make all the difference. Here are some ideas.

Journaling,

Meditation,

Taking a walk,

Take a bubble bath,

Have your favorite drink or comfort food,

Read a book or maybe just one chapter.

4. Connect With Others

If you can’t seem to give your self any compassion, reach out to someone who will lift you up. Call a friend, a family member or others in your network. Sometimes, it helps to talk things out. You may come away with a new perspective or will feel better in knowing that someone else understands and has your back.

Where ever you are at this point, it is okay. If you are on fire with ambition, that’s awesome! If you are feeling down, be kind to yourself. If you and your kids are driving each other crazy, take a break if you can and find something you can enjoy. That’s what I’ve been doing this week. I’m taking care of myself so that when I come back, I will have more positive energy and a renewed sense of purpose. Most importantly, I am showing some self compassion and I hope these tips help you do the same.

How are you and your children coping with all of this? Tell me in the comments.

0 comments

About me, Personal Development

Navigating Motherhood Coaching

April 27, 2020

I know I haven’t written in months, but I wanted to give a quick update on where I’ve been since February. I started training to become a life coach through the World Coach Institute which has been extremely valuable. Not only have I learned how to coach, but it’s helped me build my confidence as well. It has also made me realize that I am on the right path. I enjoy coaching and would love to help you achieve your goals.

Introducing NMC Coaching

I’d like to introduce my new website, NMCCoaching.com. I have launched a new blog over there which focuses on personal development and ways to help your children. NMC Coaching stands for Navigating Motherhood Coaching. I work with moms who want to make real changes in their lives.

Are you transitioning into a new career?
Do you want to feel more productive throughout your day?
Do you want to feel more confident in your parenting abilities?
Do you feel like you’ve lost your identity as a mom and want to rediscover what lights you up?
Do you simply need help regrouping during these uncertain times?

If any of this sounds like you, head on over to NMCCoaching.com or send me an E-mail at darcey@nmccoaching.com to see how we can work together.

Due to Covid19, I am unemployed which has given me the time to devote to my coaching business. That leads me to the topic of this blog and what will happen to it. I hope to still post on here once per month. I have a Mother’s Day post coming up. Eventually, I hope to tie the two blogs together, but haven’t figured it out yet. This blog has been a labor of love for me. It’s been my introduction to professional blogging, but still remains personal. It’s been part of our journey with some helpful tips thrown in. I hope you will continue to check back for updates and of course, my older posts will still be here. If you are interested in personal development and parenting tips and tricks, come over to NMCCoaching.com and check it out. I will be offering a weekly newsletter with freebies plus building a community of likeminded moms who are working on achieving their goals. Most of all, I want to thank you for visiting my little corner on the web.

0 comments

Personal Development, Self Care

10 Self-care Tips for the Busy Mom

April 22, 2020

As moms, we are always jumping from one task to the next and taking care of ourselves is an after thought. What do you picture when you hear the term self-care? Maybe you picture days at the spa or a weekend at home in your pj’s with your favorite comfort foods. What if I told you that self-care can take 10 minutes or less? Here are my 10 self-care tips for busy moms that can be done in under 10 minutes.

You may be thinking 10 minutes is too short to make a difference. You might be dying to have a whole weekend to yourself, but let’s be realistic. A refresher is better than nothing and during this pandemic, most of us aren’t leaving the house anyway. If you regularly schedule these five to ten minute breaks in your routine, they will become a habit and it will start to add up and make a huge difference in your outlook, health and wellbeing. Okay, I know your busy, so let’s get to those self-care tips now.

Journaling

Journaling is one of my favorite self-care routines. I don’t journal as much as I’d like to, but journaling has so many benefits. Personally, it has helped me work through feelings, visualize my future, keep track of goals and ideas, remember my dreams and preserve memories. With all these ways that journaling can help you, why wouldn’t you want to try it? The great thing about journaling is that there is no right or wrong way to journal. You just write from the heart. If you are not much of a writer, you can make lists or even sketch instead. The best part for us busy moms is that you can journal in less than ten minutes. You can include it in your routine first thing in the morning or before you go to bed or maybe you find it more beneficial to jot down notes throughout the day. Here are some ideas to get you started.

A gratitude journal; make lists of what you are grateful for.

Write using journal prompts.

Write down your dreams when you wake up.

Write down your goals and big dreams each day.

Write about your day.

Make a journal using photos.

Meditation

Many people use meditation as their form of self-care. There are numerous benefits of meditation. There are so many forms of meditation out there, so try several and figure out which meditations work best for you. Even if meditation is hard for you, just try to find a time to be in calm and stillness. We are always juggling and rarely get to stop to sit with our thoughts. There are many meditations that can be done in ten minutes or less like these.

Stretch Routines

If you are working at home now like I am, you may be sitting for hours at a time. It’s really important to get up and move around. A quick five to ten minute stretch routine is the perfect way to do that.

Workouts

If you have the energy and motivation, why not schedule a ten minute workout? If you are low on energy, doing even a short exercise routine is a great way to beat fatigue! If you have an exercise machine at home, do that, but if you don’t have any exercise equipment, I’ve got you covered. There are many strength based workouts that you can do from the comfort of your home that only use your body weight and can burn just as many calories.

Favorite Snack

What are your favorite snacks? This will look different for everyone and that’s okay. For some people self-care is grabbing their favorite comfort food and for other people self-care includes eating something healthy for their body. Whatever the case may be for you, prepare some of these snacks for you and your kids so you can have them throughout the week.75 Healthy Snack Ideas

No Bake Blueberry Protein Balls

Strawberry Granola Yogurt Bark

Looking Good to Feel Good

Maybe you don’t have time for a spa treatment or to do your regular makeup routine, but it’s so important to feel good about how you look. Since we are staying at home, many of us are not even bothering to get dressed or do our makeup. I don’t know about you, but when I’m not dressed and ready for the day, I don’t feel very motivated. Here are some ideas to help you look and feel good that take only a few minutes.

Put on your makeup.

Wear jewelry.

Do your nails.

Do a facial.

Style your hair in a different way.

Reading

Reading is one of my favorite activities because I learn new things or I can escape into the book depending on what I’m reading. Those are just a couple of benefits of picking up a book or listening on Audible. Reading doesn’t have to take up a lot of time. You can just read a few pages at a time, but if you totally get absorbed, that’s okay too.

Outside Time

How about taking that book outside and enjoying the peace that comes from being in nature? These days it can be harder to get out with our social distancing practices and stay at home orders, but as long as you keep these things in mind, you can still safely enjoy the outdoors. If you have a dog, take him for a walk. The dog needs to get out, so why not take this time for yourself as well? If you have a baby, it can be nice to just put them in the stroller and go enjoy the fresh air. Maybe you’re working and you can take your laptop outside. Being outside for a few minutes can bring some calm not only to yourself, but to your kids as well.

Creating a Peaceful Environment

This may be an aspect of self-care that you haven’t thought of. If you are working at home, think about the environment that you are working in. Is it uninviting? Is it complete chaos? One way to make your day more peaceful and or motivating is to change your environment in subtle ways. Here are some ideas.

Put pictures on your desk.

Add motivational quotes or affirmations where you see them.

Use crystals.

Add fresh flowers.

Use peaceful sounds like these.

https://youtu.be/UJZxtO9XNno

Social Connection

During this time of isolation, it’s so important to reach out to others. What’s better than a good chat with a friend? Maybe you want to reconnect with someone you haven’t talked to in a while or maybe you want to make some new connections. Whatever the case may be, reach out. It could make your day or someone else’s. It can also help us to slow down and listen and or be heard.

Self-care is so important, especially during these uncertain times. What are you doing to take care of yourself? Tell us in the comments.

0 comments

Activities For Kids, Motherhood

How To Help Children Work Through Feelings

April 19, 2020

This week on the blog, I’ve talked about how to sit with our feelings at this uncertain time. If you missed the post, I shared several strategies to help us work through our feelings. As adults, we understand what Is going on the world around us and of course, we are feeling many strong emotions. We may be feeling fear, sadness, anxiety and or grief.

Our kids are having these feelings too and the hard part is they may not even know how to describe what they are feeling. Young children are just learning how to regulate their emotions and express themselves. They may start acting out, become withdrawn or become extra clingy during this time. They hear our conversations and see the news if they have it on. They are hearing things they don’t understand and are picking up on whatever their family members may be feeling. Their worlds have also been turned upside down. Their routines may be totally different with the school closures and parents now working from home or not working at all. Even though all this extra time at home with our families can be wonderful, it’s a huge change.

However, there are things we can do to help our toddlers and preschoolers understand and work through their feelings. We can help our youngest toddlers label their feelings and we can help our older preschoolers work through their feelings by playing and creating. I have compiled a list of activities that parents can use to help their toddlers and preschoolers recognize, label and work through their feelings.

Art Feelings Activities for Toddlers and Preschoolers

The Feelings Collage

What you do:

Look through magazines or print off pictures from the internet that express different feelings. Then glue them on paper.

Paper Bag Puppet

What you do:

Take a brown paper bag and draw or create a face using materials from around the house.

Materials may include googly eyes, felt, tissue paper, foil, paper scraps cut into different shapes etc. Be creative!

Dry Erase Faces

What you do:

Print off blank pictures of faces like these coloring pages from Dabbles & Babbles. Then have your children color them, expressing whatever they are feeling. Then erase and start over.

Open Ended Drawing or Painting

Have your children draw or paint whatever comes to mind. Then talk about the picture. They may open up about their thoughts and feelings.

Play-dough

This is usually classified as a sensory activity, but it is creative as well. Make silly faces out of play-dough or let your children use their imaginations to create whatever comes to mind. They can also add items to the faces like beads, pompoms, googly eyes, rocks, shells etc. You could do this with modeling clay as well. It makes a perfect mixed media art activity.

Story Writing for Preschoolers

Have your child dictate a story to you and write it down. My daughter loves to do this. It’s a great window into your child’s thoughts. You can either make the story into a homemade book letting the child draw the pictures or keep it as is.

Family Feelings Activities

The Happy List

Have the child make a list of things that make him or her happy. They can draw pictures to go with it and you could turn it into a happy book. This could be done with other feelings as well. You could also make it a family happiness list and write down things that make each family member happy.

Feel Good Jar

Talk with the child about how to make others feel good. Each morning, they can either draw a name from the jar or an action depending on how you want to set this up. You could either put in the names of your family members or you could write down actions instead and the child can pick who they want to do something nice for that day. Here are some action examples.

Give a complement,

Give a hug,

Share a snack,

Take a walk together,

Call a friend,

Help a family member with a chore,

Tell someone you love them,

Make a homemade card,

Share a toy.

The Bruised Apple

This is a good activity to do in a classroom setting, but you could do it at home as well. It’s a good activity for teaching how our words or actions can hurt other people without us knowing it. All you do is have the child hit the apple on a table or the floor. Then cut it open to see the bruising inside.

Conversations About Feelings With Kids

Sometimes the best way to teach something is to slip it into everyday conversations or activities.

One way is using the daily calendar. We have a calendar that has a space for feelings. Ask the child how they are feeling and have them put the face on the calendar.

Since we are all stuck at home, there may be more screen time than usual, so talk about the shows your child is watching. Many shows have feelings, friendship or specific fears as themes for specific episodes. My daughter watches Bubble Guppies, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and Pete The Cat. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is another show that talks about emotions often. There are many episodes of kids shows that talk about being sick and or going to the doctors. With all this talk of sickness due to covid19, that may be worth exploring with your kids as well. They may have new fears about sickness and going to the doctors. My daughter has mentioned being afraid of the doctor several times since the pandemic started. I know she’s not alone.

Feelings Snacks for Kids

You can tie the feelings theme into meal times by having kids make faces on their food while preparing it. This works best with foods with toppings.

Mini pizzas,

Pancakes,

Rice cakes with peanut butter.

English muffins with peanut butter.

Feelings Activities Resources

I’ll leave you with a few extra resources that you can explore. If you want books, games and even more activities, check out these informative web pages.

If you are looking for games, songs and even pretend play activities with a feelings theme, check out this list of feelings activities for preschoolers.

Here is another great resource for art, math and even science feelings activities.

Check out this list of 10 books to help kids understand their feelings.

What are you doing to help your kids work through difficult emotions during this strange time? Tell me in the comments.

3 Comments

Personal Development, Self Care

How To Sit With Your Feelings

April 15, 2020

In my last post, I talked about how we can use the time in quarantine for personal development. Coincidentally, an article came across my newsfeed about how there is this push to make ourselves a project during this time. While I agree that there has been a push to use this time to improve ourselves, I don’t see it as a bad thing. I see it as one way we can put positivity back into our lives. Also, I think if you see yourself as a project, it diminishes your worth. If you see yourself as a complete being that is constantly evolving, doesn’t that sound better?

Pay Attention to Your Feelings

That being said, the author brought up a really good point that I want to focus on. When there is a huge push to go, go, go, it is distracting. When we are constantly in motion, we don’t have time to sift through our feelings. While I think it is a great idea to do some personal development during this time, I encourage you to incorporate working through these difficult feelings as a part of your routine.

This is a tragedy like no other in our lifetime. It is effecting everyone in different ways. People are losing their lives. Families are losing loved ones. To make things worse, family members can’t be with their loved ones who have to die alone. It’s heartbreaking even if you aren’t going through it. On the flip side, there are people getting sick, but they are fully recovering. The scary thing is you never know who will be the lucky ones. As this goes on, you might be feeling grief, sadness, worry and fear.

Then there is all the other stuff. You might be unemployed and not sure when you will get your next check. You might be worried about getting enough food or personal products. You can’t go see family members or friends. Schools are closed and you might be trying to homeschool your children. Children are missing their friends and normal routines. Students can’t have proms or graduation ceremonies. Vacations and weddings have been canceled. Then there are all the pregnant women who have their own set of challenges. It’s a scary and strange time and we all will have to deal with our feelings at some point.

Strategies to Cope With Strong Feelings

Simply acknowledge the feelings.

Recognize them, name them in your head and allow yourself to feel them.

Journal

Write everything down. Give yourself that safe space to let go of everything.

Release the feelings

For some people, it helps to wrip up or burn the paper after they’ve written about a negative event or negative feelings. It’s a way of releasing that negative energy from your mind and your physical space.

Other people just need to have a good cry or can release the feelings by doing something physical. You can either go for a walk, do a workout at home or take a bike ride.

Create

Some people work through feelings by creating something. You can use any kind of art, music or writing to express yourself.

Reach Out

Even though we are apart, we are all in this together. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a friend or family member. Sometimes just asking someone how they are doing can make all the difference. Mental health is so important and if you know someone who is struggling, please reach out to them. If you are struggling and need to talk to a therapist, don’t be afraid to reach out. It really can help to talk to someone.

If we all take this time now to work through how we are feeling, we will come out of this that much stronger. If you are one of those people who is constantly in motion distracting yourself, take a few minutes to stop and breathe. Let yourself feel even if it is hard. We will get through this eventually. Things will never quite be the same, but we will find our way down this new path together.

How are you holding up during these tough times? Tell me in the comments.

1 Comment