Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve felt hopeless, but you keep going because there’s this one thing that is keeping you afloat? It’s this one thing you look forward to regardless of everything else that is horrible about your particular situation. Everyone goes through these dark periods in their life. Unfortunately, I’m in the tunnel right now. A tunnel with no light, but here’s what I’m doing about it. These are some of the things that help me get through disappointment and heartbreak and maybe they can help you too.
I’ve mentioned my work in several posts and how I’ve been trying to take my career in another direction. Well, I’ve been seriously thinking about life/career coaching. I’ve been researching schools, learning everything I can and making a plan. However, it’ll take about a year to become certified as a coach through the program I have picked. In the mean time, I have to keep working because bills need to be paid and food needs to be put on the table. I’ve been using the past few months to do research and have been putting a lot of effort into my blog and hadn’t given much thought to my day job other than, that I’m stuck there for now.
Recently, a new little boy joined our program. He connected with me instantly. On his first day, he started bringing blocks to me so I could help him build towers and ever since then, I’ve been his buddy. The classroom he’s in has been having a lot of ups and downs. It has been a while since they had two regular teachers in there, so I’ve been trying to help out in there as much as I can. He has special needs and requires some extra attention that he wouldn’t be getting if I didn’t take the time. I’m in and out of his room throughout the morning and he often cries and tries to leave with me.
Most of his classmates were previously in another classroom I work in, so I knew them already, but their attachment to me is stronger than ever now. I’m one of the few people who have been a constant for them. Since there was an opening in their classroom, I have been pushing to be a teacher in there. Unfortunately, I didn’t get it which was extremely disappointing. I can’t get into all the details, but there was a lot of sneaky planning and plotting going on. Finally, when a decision was made, there was literally no communication with some of us who were being effected by these changes.
I wanted this job so I could really make a difference for him and the other kids. I was planning which books I would read to them, projects we could do and fixing up the classroom routine. Talking with parents is something I struggle with, so I was planning strategies on getting to know the parents and hopefully building trust. I had it all mapped out in my head. I would take this job, make it as fun as possible for the next year and then when I’d be done with my certification, I could slowly start to build my business. With the news that they had given the job to another coworker, that came crashing down.
I didn’t know if I’d even stay for another day. In fact, I still don’t know how long I will stay, but here’s what I do know. I can still accomplish my goal. I didn’t get this job, but it wasn’t my end goal anyway. It just would’ve been a bonus. Maybe there’s a reason I didn’t get it. Maybe something bigger and better is waiting for me. If you’ve just experienced heartbreak or a major set back, here are some things to try.
Journaling
Journaling is great for getting out feelings and thoughts. You can write whatever comes to mind and sometimes you even learn something new about yourself. After you get all your crummy feelings on paper, it’s easier to let them go. If someone has hurt you, write them an unsent letter. Get those emotions out and then destroy the letter. You can also use your journal to make gratitude lists and remap your goals. If you are focusing on your future and what you are grateful for, you won’t be thinking about that thing that is making you feel like crap right this minute.
Reaching Out
Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to someone. Whether it be friends, family or even a therapist. Sometimes, you need someone to bounce ideas off of. Maybe you want someone to empathize or just listen.Just knowing that you have someone’s undivided attention helps and of course you can return the favor when your friends or family are struggling. Let someone be there to help. You’ll feel better knowing that someone is on your side. At first, I thought no one would be on my side in this situation, but after reaching out and talking to some people, I’ve learned that others are seeing the same things I am. At first, I felt very much alone and started to wonder if I was over reacting, but others have validated my experience. If I hadn’t reached out, I would have continued feeling alone.
Get Active
Take a walk, try yoga, do a workout routine, go swimming, anything active. It will help blow off steam and is good for your overall physical and mental health. Taking a walk this weekend helped me. It was nice to just be outdoors, getting fresh air and being in nature.
Pamper Yourself
I treated myself this weekend. I made myself some yummy brownies that I shouldn’t have, but I was desperate for chocolate. I did lots of writing and spent time doing art projects with Rosebud. If you are doing things that you really enjoy, your mind is occupied and you won’t be thinking about those negative experiences. Other self care ideas include spa day, bubble bath, cooking a nice meal, shopping or whatever relaxes and re-energizes you.
I hope these tips help you pick yourself up off and dust yourself off after a huge disappointment. Try to remember that you are worthy of good things. How do you move past disappointments? Tell me in the comments. As always, thank you for reading.
Workout and really sweating has helped me with mental and physical stress. I notice when I go more than 3 days without that my neck and shoulders start to hurt. I could definitely do better by pampering myself. I just need to make the time!
I know. Pampering myself is the one I have the most trouble fitting into my schedule. Oddly enough, it’s the one that makes me feel the most refreshed. Thank you for commenting.
Treating myself has always been huge for me when I’ve been going through a bad spot (ahem right now) A good bath or facial can usually at least make me feel ok for the moment and the while after as I enjoy the scents. I stay with a Bath Benefit Box subscription, its always got something new and lasts me through the month.
My biggest struggle is admitting to someone else that I need help. I see a therapist but sometimes I hate my own decisions so much that I struggle to get them out, Therapy hasn’t always been a positive experience for me. But I know that once I can allow myself to trust and let go its gonna really help out.
I’ve recently started setting myself up to do more things that are about myself and my passions, hence me restarting my blogging life, which has been dormant for about 5 years.
Really enjoying the blog and looking forward to more posts!
Thank you for commenting. I will have to check out that box subscription. I love bath stuff so maybe it would be a good one for me. Therapy can do wonders if you find a good therapist, but it is a very slow process. I find that coach and can be helpful to. Coaching focuses on depressant we are therapy focuses more on the pass. That is great that you are restarting your blogging adventure. I had a blog several years ago, but lost passion for it. I’m having a great time with the launch of my new blog. Thank you for stopping by.
I have a now teen with ADHD/Mood disorder who had a really difficult time in elementary school. If it wasn’t for the teachers/aides who cared about him as a person and not a trouble maker or just a diagnosis I probably would have lost my mind. Learning the difference between hopelessness and helplessness has been a game changer for me. Riddled with anxiety, I went back to school a few years ago and completely changed my career, counseling and addictive disorders… and am working on sober coaching. Follow your heart. Don’t lose hope and faith. The things worth doing take time. If the time is now to focus on who you want to be, do it.
Thank you for your comment. Congratulations on changing your career and life. It’s wonderful to hear about times when people changed their lives for the better. I’m glad your son is doing well now. Having some supportive people in your corner makes all the difference.