Motherhood

Infants, Motherhood, Parenting, Toddlers

5 Things You Won’t Learn From A Parenting Book

April 26, 2019

Since Mothers Day is right around the corner, I’ll be doing a series of posts on motherhood. You’ll get the good, the bad and the ugly. If you pick up a parenting book, you’ll read about what to do to have a healthy pregnancy, infant care, tantrums, potty training and how to create a night time routine. They might even touch upon the sleepless nights, for you, the parent. While that information can be very helpful, there are some things they don’t talk about and in most cases, mom’s aren’t talking about these things either. If we’re not talking about the endless joy and unconditional love, it’s as if you’re seen as a bad mom. I love Rosebud more than I’ve ever thought possible. She makes me laugh after a bad day. I am so grateful and proud to be her mom, but there a few things about motherhood in general that drive me crazy at times.

Your idea of clean flies out the window.

I used to take a lot of pride in keeping a clean house. I’d usually vacuum at least twice per week since the cats left hair everywhere. At least one of my weekend days was spent cleaning and doing laundry. I loved having everything in it’s place. There was nothing like coming home to a clean house and knowing that everything would be right where you left it. Well, after you have kids, that all changes. You might still obsess over keeping the place clean and organizing everything, but you’ll find you won’t have time. You’ll spend more time thinking about cleaning than actually doing it and you’ll start to wonder if you’ll ever get to do anything beyond spot cleaning the counters and bathrooms.

Not to mention all the new toys and equipment you’ll be adding to the mix. Half of my living room was filled with baby equipment and now that Rosebud is three, it’s filled with toys. Toys that I have to keep organized because if they are not put into containers, I end up stepping on them which of course hurts my feet. When I end up yelling about the stupid toy, Rosebud asks, what’s wrong, Mommy? Have you ever stepped on a lego or toy person? If so, you can feel my pain! We can always look on the bright side, when kids grow up and think back to their childhoods, they don’t remember whether you deep cleaned the house. They remember the time you spent with them. Here are some cleaning products that help me out.
 
This is a close model to the vacuum I have. It works well on pet hair.
 
This is the one I want to try because of the anti hair wrap feature. That is a huge problem in my house.

You’ll try, but you can’t capture everything.

I don’t know about you, but I wanted to capture Rosebud’s every milestone. I have so many pictures and videos, especially during her first year. While it’s nice to preserve and share those memories, if you spend too much time behind the camera, you’re not participating. If you’re too busy watching, you’re not interacting. There have been so many conversations over the past year or two that I wish I could recreate. I can’t, so they will live on in my memory. There are too many things Rosebud says that I want to write down so I won’t forget, but by the end of a long day, I’ve forgotten what she said. It makes me sad, but I know she’ll say something else that’s equally cute or funny tomorrow. The other day she told me that tomatoes couldn’t make catsup because they don’t have hands. I’d love to capture all the times she tells me I’m her best friend or that I’m a good mommy. She told me the other day that we have a good home. It’s moments like these that make my heart melt and make me so glad that I’m Rosebud’s mom.

You’ll never do anything alone, ever again.

Yes, you read that right. You’ll never do anything alone unless you have a baby sitter or if you’re lucky enough to have a good sleeper. For the first 15 months of Rosebud’s life, we co-slept, so I was never alone at night either. I was one of those people who was convinced, my kid would sleep in her own bed, but as soon as she was born, I didn’t want to be away from her. Although I tried laying her down in her crib, it was a no go. She’d cry and cry and it was just too heartbreaking to listen to. I’d be sitting in bed next to her responding to E-mails, listening to audio books or pumping and she’d usually sleep through everything. That was as long as I’d stay in the bed, as soon as I’d get up to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water or try to go and watch tv, she was awake in no time.

As she got older and started to crawl and eventually walk, any semi alone time I had was over. She’d follow me into the laundry room when I’d try to start the washer, the pantry closet when I’d try to sneak a snack and of course I couldn’t go to the bathroom alone either. If you are reading this and haven’t become a mom yet, appreciate your alone time while you have it.

You finally find out what exhaustion really is.

This phenomenon of complete exhaustion starts while you are pregnant. You don’t even have to weight for the baby to come for this one. In the first part of my pregnancy, I slept like a baby. I’d literally sit in my chair and be asleep a few minutes later. When I’d go to sleep for the night, I’d be so exhausted, I’d sleep so soundly. This was so unlike me. I had never been that tired and at that point, I didn’t know I was growing a tiny human. After my pregnancy was confirmed, I was still exhausted, but the sleepless nights began. What was I going to do? I was going through a difficult situation and nothing went as I had planned. I had a lot on my mind along with the physical symptoms, so I never slept through a whole night after that and I thought I knew what exhaustion was. The truth was I had no idea until Rosebud was born. It was exhausting trying to breast-feed around the clock, change diapers, and then attempting to function like a normal human being during the day. They say that you should sleep when the baby sleeps, but that was so difficult for me. I managed it a few times, but usually I was too worried about the state of the house or other tasks I needed to get done. As they get older, they sleep through the night, but they tend to go to bed later and in Rosebud’s case, she wakes up just as early.

You never get a sick day.

Now that we’ve touched on the exhaustion, that brings me to this little piece of information. Unless you have a village around you, you never get a sick day. It doesn’t matter if you can barely get out of bed, you have to. Your child still needs to be fed and cared for. They’ll still want to play. I remember one day in particular when I had the flu this past winter. I was wiped out. I could barely move without feeling sick, but I had to push myself to at least get up and throw a breakfast together. Then we spent the rest of the day in front of the tv because that’s all I could manage. Rosebud really wanted to play, but I just couldn’t. I made sure her basic needs were met and some days if you are really sick, that’s the best you can do. It helps if you both are sick at the same time because you’ll both want to just lay around, but it almost never works that way. Rosebud is always sick before me. By the time she’s feeling better, I want to spend the day curled up under the covers.

This is why self-care is so important. You cannot run on empty. Even though self-care may be seen as selfish, you have to find some time for yourself. Whether it’s relaxing with a book and a bubble bath, going to get your nails done or working on a craft or hobby, it’s well worth it. Then when the sick days come, you won’t feel as depleted. The other part of self-care is forgiving yourself when you make mistakes or when you are a less than perfect mother. We need to accept that we can make mistakes and learn from them and that we are still lovable even with our imperfections. When we tuck our kids in bed each night, we can tell them we love them and we forget about every crazy thing they did that day. We forget about the messes, the chaos, the interruptions and the fact that they woke us up before the sunrise yet again.

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Activities, Memories, Motherhood, Parenting

5 Reasons To Cook With Kids

May 26, 2018

I’ve been cooking with Rosebud since she could sit in her high chair. Back then she wasn’t directly involved with the cooking, but she sat in the kitchen observing everything I was doing. I put spoons, measuring cups, a mixing bowl and pretend food on her tray which kept her occupied as I chopped vegetables, mixed cake badder or mashed potatoes. I’d show her the foods and let her sample them as she got older. I remember times when I’d read a recipe, tell her the ingredients we needed to add and she’d repeat after me. Now that she’s a toddler, she’s an active participant. She counts and takes out the eggs, mixes cookie dough or fills the measuring cups and spoons to scoop and pour the ingredients. Her favorite saying these days is, “I try it.” She wants to do and try everything!

1. Cooking builds vocabulary

Kids can learn names of foods, spices and and the equipment and utensils we use to cook with. They can learn opposites. Hot and cold, wet and dry etc. You can talk about foods being sour, sweet, salty or bitter. You can talk about colors, shapes and textures of the food. If your child is older, reading the recipe can help build vocabulary as well. Yesterday as we were mixing together some sugar, butter and eggs for cookie dough, Rosebud told me, we need to hatch these eggs. At first I didn’t know what she was talking about, but then it hit me that to her cracking the eggs is hatching them.

2. Cooking teaches math and science

Kids can learn about temperature. Hot vs. cold. What happens when ingredients warm up, boil or are frozen? They can learn about measurement by using measuring cups and spoons. They can learn about consistency. What happens if we add water or flour? They can learn about plants and where food comes from. What is inside an apple or a pepper? The possibilities for teaching concepts and experiments in the kitchen are endless.

3. Trying new things

When kids help make choices about their food, they are more likely to try new things. In the preschool class where I work, we participate in this program where a nutritionist comes in to teach the children about healthy eating and where food comes from. There is a garden where she takes them to get vegetables and it is surprising how many new vegetables they have tried because they have picked the vegetables themselves. We’ve also done a bit of baking in preschool. The kids help add ingredients, mix badder and once we even allowed them to help us with cutting up fruits for fruit salad. This makes them so excited about afternoon snack. They can’t wait to try what they’ve made and share it with their families. Rosebud loves to try bites of vegetables or fruits when I chop them up for salads. I also ask her which fruits and vegetables she wants when we are grocery shopping. She loves seeing the food and pointing out what she wants. I’ve never seen another kid get so excited about broccoli.

4. It’s healthier

When you are making a home cooked meal, you know every ingredient that is in your food. This is obviously healthier than a frozen or fast food meal. Even if you are baking treats, that is healthier than the prepackaged snacks. Not to mention trying to decode the nutrition labels. For many families there is little time to prepare a meal so frozen may be the way to go on nights when you have to be in several places at once or do a million things. Nothing beats the convenience of prepared meals. However, I try to avoid those meals when I can especially for Rosebud because I like knowing what is in her food. I also want her to like the taste of foods that don’t come in a can or box. She enjoys fresh fruits, veggies and home cooked food.

5. Cooking can be together time

I like when Rosebud stays in the kitchen with me while I cook. If she’s helping me, she’s learning about food and having fun. We can spend the time talking or sometimes she will pretend to cook with her play foods or sit in her chair with crayons and a notepad. I don’t get to spend much time with Rosebud on week nights so I try to find ways to include her in what I’m doing. On other nights, she prefers to have screen time while I make dinner and wash dishes. It’s not the greatest option, but sometimes it’s the only way to get things done. I try to maintain a balance and create ways to spend time together even when I have endless chores to do. I find that cooking usually interests kids and great memories can be made from it. I have happy memories of baking with my grandmother when I was little and hopefully one day Rosebud will remember cooking with me.

Do you like cooking with your kids? What are your favorite kid friendly recipes? Tell me in the comments.

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Memories, Motherhood, Parenting, Pets

An Unexpected Field Trip

April 15, 2018

The other day, I had to stop at the pet store to buy litter and cat food. Originally I was heading to one of the pet stores in the next town because they have a different selection of food. When we told Rosebud about the pet store, she started talking about all the animals she’d see. There was one problem. The store we were going to didn’t have any animals. I don’t think they even have fish anymore. So, there was a change in plans. We would stop at the pet store closer to home.

As soon as we walked in, Rosebud knew right where to go to see the animals. First, she stopped by the fish and kept commenting on how there were a lot of them. Next, she ran to where the critters are kept. We saw five guinea pigs. She had never seen guinea pigs before, so she didn’t know what they were. I was hoping they’d make their funny noises. If you’ve ever spent a good amount of time around guinea pigs, you know that they make a variety of sounds to liven up the place. That’s one of the joys of guinea pigs. The amount of clean up is not such a joy, but I won’t go there. Anyway, Rosebud enjoyed watching them play together and she found it interesting when they’d stop to grab a bite of hay. She also noticed a ladder in their tank which allowed them to go to the next level.

Normally, the hamsters are hiding, but on this particular day, they were active. One stopped to drink from the water bottle so we talked about how they have to get their water from bottles. One got hungry and decided to sit in the middle of his water bowl to eat. Rosebud thought this was silly. She was fascinated by the wheels in the cages. I explained that the hamsters run on them, but they didn’t want to right now. I wished they had because she would’ve liked to watch them run. She noticed the hamster balls on the shelf so we talked about how they role around in them.

Next, we looked for the turtle we usually see, but saw snakes instead. We also stopped at the birds pointing out the colors of the different birds. We didn’t stay long though as most of the birds are up too high for her to get a good look. She noticed that there was a ball in their cage so we talked about how birds can play with balls too.

She already has a love for animals and is very interested in learning about them. She constantly looks at books showing animals especially the picture books that have more realistic illustrations.

I’m glad because I love animals as well and caring for and protecting animals is something that is important to me.

If we hadn’t taken our unexpected field trip, I wouldn’t have seen the joy on her face as she watched the guinea pigs play. I wouldn’t have heard the laugh when the hamster climbed into his food bowl. We wouldn’t have talked about the different colored birds. Some of those opportunities for teaching and learning would’ve been missed, but mostly we would’ve missed the joy. The simple joy that can be found in something as mundane as shopping for cat food. You can turn almost anything into a teachable moment and you can make a memory out of the simplest thing. After all, it’s more about who you are with than what you are doing.

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