Personal Development

5 Benefits of a Daily Gratitude Practice

November 5, 2020

For the month of November, I will be doing a series of posts on gratitude. Since Thanksgiving is coming up here in the U.S, it’s a great time to start focusing on things to be thankful for. However, if you live outside of the U.S or don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, you can still practice gratitude. In fact, you should be practicing gratitude all year long because studies have shown that their are numerous benefits of a regular gratitude practice. Here are just five of the benefits of gratitude that I’ve noticed since starting my own gratitude practice.

Before this year, I’d make lists os of the things I’m grateful for from time to time, but I didn’t do this regularly. It wasn’t until I started focusing on the wonderful things in my daily life that I noticed a shift in my mindset. I’ll admit that it’s not perfect and I’m still pessimistic by nature, but it has definitely improved my outlook.

Gratitude is a mood booster

Studies suggest that people who regularly express gratitude are happier. This seems pretty obvious when you think about it. When you pay more attention to the good things in life, it boosts your mood. For example, if I’ve had a rough day and I start making a list of the things I’m grateful for, I’ll start smiling because Rosebud is always at the top of my list. When I think about her, it’s usually about something funny she did or said that day. Right away, there’s a subtle shift in my mood.

To try this out for yourself, grab a piece of paper and make a happy list. It can be anything you are grateful for or anything that makes you feel good. When you are done with your list, read it over. How did you feel before writing your list? How do you feel after?

Gratitude helps you relax

Practicing gratitude regularly has so many benefits to your mental health. Along with improving your mood, gratitude can reduce stress. Let’s go back to the rough day I mentioned above. If I go to bed thinking about all the negative stuff that happened that day, my stress levels are still high as I fall asleep. I’m not fully relaxed, but if I simply take a few minutes to write down some things I’m grateful for, it helps me focus on the good things before sleep. This way, I’m more relaxed and do less ruminating about my day. I’m not thinking about everything I didn’t get done from the todo list or something I could’ve done or said differently. Basically, it refocuses your thoughts.

This works in the morning as well. If you feel stressed in the morning or have a million reasons that you don’t want to get out of bed, try doing some gratitude. It doesn’t matter if you write it, speak it or just take five minutes to think about what you are grateful for, it will start your day off on the right foot.

Gratitude improves physical health

We’ve already discussed a couple of the mental health benefits, but gratitude has many physical health benefits as well. When you are feeling happier or relaxed, you will notice a difference in your body. Some of the health benefits include lower blood pressure, improved sleep, more exercise etc. This article goes into more details about the various health benefits of practicing gratitude.

Notice the small things

We spend too much time focusing on the wrong things. It’s easy to get caught up in negative thoughts and or drama. We may get sucked into negative conversations. We worry about stuff that won’t matter to anyone but ourselves. Too often, we care way too. Much about what other people think. This is where gratitude can help.

Gratitude journaling has helped me focus on all the wonderful things in my life. Big things, small things and everything in between. All the stuff I’d normally take for granted such as running water, electricity, TV, internet, the computer I’m using, my iPhone, nature, my home, the clothes on my back, a comfortable bed, the washer and dryer, friends, family and my freedom. I could go on and on. You could be thankful for your favorite food, your car, drinking water, your body etc. There are so many things we take for granted every day. Practicing gratitude helps you slow down and enjoy each and every one of these things. When we realize how much we have, we learn how truly fortunate we are.

Gratitude helps you manifest what you want

Here’s a benefit of gratitude that is on the spiritual side. No matter what religious beliefs you have, practicing gratitude can fit in with any of them because it’s focusing on the blessings in your life. It can help your spiritual mindset regardless. However, if you believe in the law of attraction which basically states that you attract what you put out into the universe. It focuses on energy, so if you release positive energy, you will get positive energy in return. Gratitude is one of the best ways to “raise your vibration.” If you are interested in the law of attraction, I highly recommend this book. It’s the simplest explanation of the law of attraction hat I’ve ever read and there are so many exercises that you can build into your daily life. Many of them are around gratitude.
 
Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to start manifesting what you want. The more you focus on what you have, the more things will come to you. The key is to visualize and focus not he things you want as if you already have them. One exercise you can try is to make a list of 15 things you are grateful for. Five from your past, five from your present and five from your future, but write them all down in the past or present tense. Here’s a sample list.

I’m grateful that I have found the love of my life.
I’m grateful that I made $10,000 last month.
I’m so thankful that I have a best friend who I can tell anything to.
I’m so grateful that I was able to travel last year.
I’m so grateful that I have a sweet, fun and intelligent daughter.

Okay, some of those things have happened and some of them haven’t, but it doesn’t matter. The point to be just as grateful for your past, present and future because the feelings are the same even if it has not happened yet and the physical and mental benefits are the same as well.

What do you think? Do you have a gratitude practice? What benefits have you noticed? Tell me in the comments! If you have not started a gratitude practice yet, be sure to check back next week as I will be sharing gratitude journaling prompts and exercises for you to try!

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Personal Development, Self Care

4 Lessons I’ve Learned on my Fitness Journey

October 15, 2020

In January of 2020, one of my new years resolutions was to get in the best shape of my life in the next decade. It’s not very specific, but I decided I was going to exercise every day. I didn’t have a set amount of weight I wanted to lose, but I wanted to get healthier, have more energy and of course, look good. It has been 10 months since I started this journey and here are four unexpected lessons I’ve learned from working out.

Celebrate your success

When I started out, I was out of shape and I could definitely feel the burn. Sometimes for several days after trying a new workout. I’d get discouraged if I couldn’t do as many reps as suggested or I didn’t feel like I could stretch very far, but I kept going and it paid off! I started noticing my progress. I could reach further during my stretch routines, I felt less tired on the elliptical and I’ve increased the weight during my strength workouts. I’ve also noticed that my clothes fit better or no longer fit in some cases because they are too big.

When I’d notice these things I was proud of my self. When your clothes fit better, celebrate! Reward yourself. It’s an excuse for a new wardrobe. Well, a new pair of jeans or a cute sweater at least. Be sure to share your good news with someone who supports your fitness goals.

Success comes from capability, not appearances

This is a big one. We get way too caught up in what our bodies look like. We spend so much time focused on our appearance that we forget to focus on what our bodies are capable of. Success comes from within. It’s all about your mindset and not your outward appearance.

To track this, measure your progress. Where were you when you started? How many reps could you do? How many minutes could you run? What is the distance? How are you feeling afterwards? Are you feeling strong or tired?

Over time, you will notice that some workouts will get easier because you will get stronger and your body will get used to moving in certain ways. Maybe some workouts won’t get easier, but you will notice that you are able to do more and feel less tired. Maybe you can lift more or exercise longer. It’s amazing to measure your progress from where you started. You will be saying, wow, I can’t believe I can do that now.

Full disclosure, this is me with jumping jacks, holding squats, stretching gets easier etc. You will end up celebrating your body. It’s fantastic. Your body is amazing and it should be celebrated regardless of the number on the scale!

It’s not about losing weight

Well, in a way it is, but it’s so much more than that. Exercise is a mood booster that also helps your body physically function better. The discipline you need to stick to your workout schedule helps build character. After a while, you will feel healthier and view exercise as a form of self-care. It started out as a goal to get in the best shape of my life. I know, it’s not specific enough, but I promised myself to exercise each day. At first, it was all about losing weight and looking good, but now it’s about feeling better and I have made my fitness a priority.

Sample Fitness Goals

I will run 1 mile each day.
I will do a 30 minute strength based workout 3 times per week.
I will lose 10lbs in the next 60 days.
I will drink 8 glasses of water each day.
I will do one yoga class per week.

Pay attention to your body

This is the most important lesson I have learned from my fitness journey.

When you are exercising, you’ll notice all the sensations. Mostly when you start to get tired or maybe you feel like you can’t take one more step. It’s important to step out of your comfort zone when exercising because the burn means it’s working, but you have to know the difference between building strength or endurance and pushing yourself too hard. You will feel it if you pay close attention. If your body needs water, rest or needs a harder workout, it’s all okay. It’s your fitness journey and your body knows what it needs.

If you have to stop, it’s okay, but get back into it when you are ready. Too often we push ourselves too far and that’s when we can get injured.

Last week, I was sick and wasn’t feeling up to working out. I felt guilty about this and wanted to get back to exercise as soon as possible, so this week, I hopped back on the elliptical. Suddenly, the bolt popped off and my machine was broken. I will have to buy a replacement part, but in the mean time, I’ve had to switch up my workout routine. I tried a workout that was totally new to me. Cardio mixed with strength based exercises. Towards the end of the workout, I had drank my entire bottle of water and was feeling so exhausted. I kept pushing myself, but finally in the last couple minutes of the workout, I just had to stop. I had to listen to my body at that point. While I was disappointed and felt out of shape, I had to remind myself that it was a new workout and I did the best I could.

Some days your energy level is higher and your body may react differently. That is also okay. Our bodies are unique to each of us and we should be celebrating what they are capable of regardless of our body shape. Even though I started this journey to lose weight because I didn’t like the way my body looked, I have come to appreciate my body a lot more.

Are you on a fitness journey? If so, what have you learned? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

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Personal Development

How To Create Positivity from Missed opportunities

September 16, 2020

I had an experience last week that got me thinking about missed opportunities and the things that we participate in that we think are beneficial, but it turns out they aren’t. The question is what do we do with those missed opportunities? What do we do when a door closes? We pick up and start over. Here’s how to turn a missed opportunity into something positive. As the saying goes, turn lemons into lemonade.

When One Door Closes

This story is such a first world problem. It’s so inconsequential when we look at the big picture, but sometimes the smallest things can teach us the greatest lessons. I was apart of a Facebook group for bloggers where we can promote our blog using the daily threads. I have been a regular participant in this group for a while and always did my best to give more than I take. I’d always engage with the other bloggers on the threads. Whether it be liking social media posts on their accounts, commenting, or sharing their blog posts.If you know me, you know that I always try to go above and beyond to do things the right way. Especially when it involves helping other people. It was a shock to me that I was suddenly muted and could no longer respond to the other comments or post. There were days when I couldn’t respond until late in the day because I’m a busy mom. I make my original comments in the morning and then go back throughout the day to help the other bloggers. That is what’s always worked for me.

At first, I got mad because by doing that, they were basically accusing me of dropping my link and running. Then I was disappointed because I couldn’t participate for another month, but I quickly realized that maybe that group wasn’t the place for me anyway. When I thought about it, most of the bloggers in that group aren’t apart of my niche. While their content is great and they were super helpful, there wasn’t much of a connection. They aren’t the people that will become my clients. I could’ve waited a month and then tried to figure out what I had done wrong. Then I could spend time making sure I followed every rule, but for what?

I had to ask myself, how is this benefiting me? Is it helping my blog or coaching practice grow? How does it make me feel to be apart of this group now? It wasn’t giving my blog that much of a boost and I no longer felt welcome in the group. In the past, rejection hit me hard and while I felt a touch of that, I turned it around to something positive.

How To Move On

I started looking for groups that were geared towards busy moms, coaches and female bloggers. I found several that I have joined and so far, they’ve been wonderful groups. The best part is that they’ve given my blog a boost and the women are awesome. There is a supportive environment where we help each other. If you are interested in joining any of these groups, find their links at the end of this post.

Journal Prompts

How about you?
Are there any doors that have closed for you lately? How are you feeling about these experiences now? Here are some prompts to dive into if you use journaling to get your thoughts out. If you aren’t much of a writer, don’t worry about it. Just answer these questions in your head. The answers are all within you.

Describe your last missed opportunity.
Is this a positive or negative thing for you?
Did a better opportunity open up as a result?
If not, how can you turn it into a new opportunity?

List your first three steps for creating your next opportunity.

Finding Clarity

This process also works if you are trying to decide if a. New opportunity is right for you or if you need to get out of a situation. This could be a relationship, friendship or anything work related. Of course, we have to do things we don’t want to do at times. It’s a fact of life, but we can change our mindset. When deciding if something is right for you, answer these questions to get clarity.

How does it make you feel in your body?

If you let this thing go, what will happen?(pros and cons)

What are you giving up by moving on?
What are you giving up if you stick with it?
What are you gaining from moving on?
What are you gaining by staying where you are?

When thinking about doors opening and closing in life, I try to remember this quote. “What is meant for you won’t pass you by.” This applies in business, relationships, purchases, friendships etc. What doors have opened or closed for you lately? Tell me in the comments. If you’d like to talk about creating amazing opportunities in your own life, feel free to book a discovery call to see how we can work together. I’d love to hear from you!

As promised, here are the Facebook groups I mentioned above.

Mom Blog Network Personal Development and Wellness Bloggers

Successful Mom Entrepreneurs Women’s Side Hustle Network

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Personal Development

35 Fall Journal Prompts for Self Reflection

September 9, 2020

Technically, autumn is not here yet, but the leaves are changing color and the weather is getting a bit cooler. At least it is here in the northeast where I am. When the seasons change, it is a good time to stop and reflect. You can figure out what you want to do with the remainder of the year, explore personal growth topics or simply have fun writing about new and old fall memories. Here are 35 fall journal prompts to help you fill those blank pages.

Goal Setting

The last quarter of the year is a perfect time for goal setting. Prioritize and outline a plan to achieve your goals by the end of the year with these journal prompts.

What are your goals for the next three months?

How important are these goals? Put them in order.

If you were to achieve these goals, how will your life change?

What might block you from achieving these goals?

How can you remove these blocks?

What steps can you take to achieve your goals? (List out steps for each goal)

What is one step you can take today to achieve at least one of your goals?

How will you feel when you accomplish these goals?

How will you feel if you don’t achieve them?

What has helped you accomplish goals in the past?

Seasonal Prompts

Enjoy these fun seasonal prompts.

What feels different about the fall?

What are your fall traditions?

What fall traditions would you like to create?

What is your favorite Halloween memory?

If you could cast one magical spell, what would it be?

What is your favorite Thanks Giving memory?

What are you grateful for?

What are your favorite fall foods?

Describe your perfect fall day.

Take some fall photos and make a photo collage. Write any thoughts you may have.

Self Discovery

Use these journal prompts to explore your thoughts and feelings.

How does your self-care routine change in the fall?

What do you need to let go of?

What is the biggest change you’ve ever made in your life?

What is the scariest thing you’ve ever done?

What are you afraid of?

Name 50 things you are grateful for.

What season of life are you in and why?

What would you like to achieve by next fall?

What are you excited to do each day?

How do you define beauty?

What are you open to receiving?

If you have kids in school, how do you feel about them returning to school this year?

What is your biggest struggle right now?

What is your biggest source of joy right now?

What do you need to do to prepare for winter?

Let me know if you find these fall journal prompts useful. Do your journaling habits change with the seasons or are you just getting started with journaling? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

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Personal Development

Are You Valuing You?

August 26, 2020

Are you valuing your value?

Let that sink in. Do you really see your value and are you allowing others to see it?

To figure this out, reflect on how you respond to people and the boundaries you set. In friendships or relationships

Are people respectful of your time and how do you respond?

Do you drop plans for people or do you expect to be contacted in a reasonable amount of time?

If people flake out on you, do you bother to get back with them?

Once in a while is fine and understandable, but if this is a patern for you, you may have some work to do.

Valuing Your Time

If you value your own time, others will as well. Of course, being flexible is a wonderful trait to have. There may be times when people contact you last minute to get together or people may make you wait. If this is a constant for you, you may want to look at your schedule and how valuable your time is. This is one way to create boundaries and know that your time is valuable. You don’t have to say yes to everything especially if it interferes with your schedule.

Ask yourself these questions to know if the request is that important.

Do I really want to do this or do I feel obligated?

Is this person/activity a priority?

Will it fit in with my current schedule?

Will doing this make me feel good or will I feel tired or drained?

Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

Do those closest to you respect where you are in life?

This is important. Are your family and friends interested, excited or positive about what you do? Of course, not everyone is going to be interested in everything, but if your friends can’t show some positivity or encouragement, maybe it’s time to rethink the relationship. If you feel dragged down, devalued or drained after a meeting with this person, perhaps they don’t see your value.

This goes for relationships as well. Does your partner value your characteristics? If you are driven, successful, inteligent etc, is your partner turned off by that. If he or she is the right person for you, they wouldn’t be. I’m speaking from experience here, but if your partner doesn’t value your goals, who you are and the path that you are on in life, it’s definitely time to move on.

Make Yourself a Priority

Finally, do you value you?

I mean do you really? Do you give your goals and dreams the time and attention they deserve? Do you make time for these things in your schedule or do you put them on the back burner because you are too busy taking care of kids, being a wife/girlfriend, cooking and cleaning or doing a meaningless job that you are constantly on the verge of quitting? If you are, it’s time to look at your values.

Grab a notebook and start brainstorming with these four questions.

What are your top five goals?

What are your values?

How do your goals reflect those values?

What is one step you can take today to move you towards accomplishing at least one goal?

The step can be very small. For example, if your goal is to start a blog, one step would be to brainstorm name ideas. Step number two could be to purchase a domain. If you don’t know what a domain is, then your step number two would be to research on domains. If one of your goals is to read four books per month, then your first step could be to choose a book. Next step, read five pages. You get the idea. It doesn’t matter which goal you choose to work on, but make it something valuable to you. Once you start seeing the value in yourself, others will follow suit.

Are you an overwhelmed mom who doesn’t know where to start? Have you lost yourself and don’t even know what your goals or values are anymore? If so, I’d love to help you. Schedule a discovery call with me and we can discuss strategies that will help you feel like that valuable mama I know you are!

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Personal Development, Self Care

40 Summer Journal Prompts to Keep You Inspired

July 28, 2020

Since summer is the half way point in the year, some people find it helpful to reflect on the previous months or to think about what they want to accomplish for the rest of the year. One way to do this is through journaling, so I have gathered a list of some of my favorite prompts for the summer. They include prompts for goal setting, creativity or reflection. There is a journal prompt here for everyone. Enjoy this list of summer journal prompts to keep you inspired.

Summer Prompts

Does summer feel different than other seasons to you? Why or why not?

Does your family have any summer traditions? What makes them special?

What part of summer do you look forward to the most every year? Why?

Take your journal outside and describe your surroundings. How are you feeling? What are you noticing?

What is your favorite summer memory from your childhood?

Create a summer bucket list.

Write a love letter to your body.

What is your favorite summer treat? How would you describe it?

What is your favorite outdoor activity? How can it translate into other areas of your life?

What are your favorite summer self-care ideas? Which ones can you do this week?

What does your dream summer day look like?

Journal Prompts for Reflection and Growth

What do you need to forgive yourself for?

Who do you need to forgive? Write an unsent letter to them.

If you could travel into the past, what would you do?

If you could travel into the future, what would you do?

Write about your biggest life changing moments.

What is the most valuable lesson life has taught you?

Describe the happiest version of yourself.

What do you do when people are unsupportive?

How do you know when to let go?

Make a list of the treasures in your life.

Prompts for Goal Setting

What quotes remind you of your goals and dreams?

What goals have you accomplished in the past six months?

Have your goals changed from the beginning of the year?

Have you accomplished what you wanted to so far this year? Why or why not?

What are your goals for the rest of the year?

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

If you could attract anything into your life, what would it be?

What does success mean to you?

What holds you back from achieving your goals?

What are your goals for the month?

Journal Prompts for Creativity

What do you like to create?

What kinds of things did you create as a child?

What creative hobbies would you like to try?

How has creativity helped you?

How are you unique?

Make a list of things you enjoy doing.

Take a photo of something beautiful.

Make a hand written card or write a letter to someone you love.

Do you have any favorite journal prompts that you like to use for the summer? Tell me in the comments. Happy writing!

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Personal Development

5 Books That Will Change Your Life

June 30, 2020

Reading as one of the most valuable tools you can use while working on your personal development. While your own mindset is important, if you are stuck, it is helpful to read other people’s ideas and collect questions that can help guide your thought process. Personal development books can be very useful tools for reflection. It took me a while to discover this world, but I will save you time and give you a great place to start with this list of five books that will change your life.

When I was growing up, I hated reading. I could never imagine why anyone would want to read for pleasure. I’d wonder why these people weren’t doing something fun instead. I couldn’t imagine wanting to read to improve your life. I. Had no idea about the personal development genre. I also couldn’t picture why anyone would want to read to simply learn something new unless it was a school assignment. Part of it was my attitude about reading, but the other part was that because of my visual impairment, there weren’t many books available to me. The ones that were available were mostly outdated and didn’t interest me. Then I got introduced to Audible and Kindle books. Once I had access to books that were interesting and relevant to me, I grew to love reading.

It opened me up to new worlds and ideas including personal development. I discovered what a powerful tool reading can be. I had read books to mostly gather information, but had never saw reading as a way to improve my life, but throughout this journey, I have found five books that have changed my life and they can change yours too.

The Five Second Rule

The Five Second Rule is an amazing book by Mel Robbins. If you listen to the Audible version, it’s as if she’s sitting right there with you having a friendly, but extremely honest chat. The major idea behind this book is that it takes us five seconds to make decisions. We can either take or lose an opportunity in five seconds. It’s amazing when you think about it. Mel explains it better than I can because it starts with her experience, but basically if we count backwards from five, it refocuses our brain and allows us to make quicker decisions that put us into action.

For example, let’s say you want to get out of bed earlier in the morning, but your habit is to hit the snooze several times. You can’t seem to get it together in the morning and it is having a negative impact on the rest of your day. When you hear that first alarm, start counting backwards from five and then launch yourself out of bed. Mell explains it as a space shuttle launching. It gives you momentum. It sounds so simple, but most of us don’t think of doing this. The 5 second method has helped me push through anxiety about making decisions. Too many of us stay in a space of being stuck. The 5 second rule pushes us to take action.

Take Control of Your Life

This is another book by Mel Robbins. I love her simple, but effective way of explaining things. Some people may be offended by some of the language she uses, but she doesn’t sugar coat things. It may make people feel uncomfortable, but if we don’t feel discomfort, we don’t grow. This book consists of Mel doing several coaching sessions, but the first one resonated most with me. Her client was a man named Dan who was a fraud he’d never find his life’s purpose. He felt stuck and had no idea what his next steps should be. This is where I was last year.

Reading Take Control of My Life helped me to look at things from a different perspective. I tend to be an over thinker and want to do everything at once, but this book helped me break my goals down into small achievable steps. It also helped me realize that what I needed to do was follow. My interests. I didn’t need to come up with a complete plan right away. Each interest you follow will give you more information which can help you decide what your next step will be. If you are interested in learning more, I’ve done a post on how I used the Brick by Brick method.

The Five Love Languages

The next book on my list is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I recommend this book whether you are in a relationship or not. There is a version for singles, married couples and even love languages for children. This book is based off the idea that everyone gives and receives love differently and when we can tap into our partner’s love language, we can create a mutually fulfilling relationship. I will say that there are a lot of Christian references in this book, but I don’t feel it took anything away from the overall message. You can still certainly benefit from this book whether you are a Christian or not. According to Gary Chapman, the love languages are acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch and quality time. I learned that my love language is gifts. It’s how I know I’m appreciated and how I show appreciation to others. However, I now know that the recipient of my gifts may be wishing I’d show my love in other ways. This would be a great book for couples to read together or separately, but to compare notes. If you find out what your partner’s love language is, you will make them feel more love. In turn, you will feel more love as well. It’s a win win! I wish I would’ve found this book sooner.

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind – and Keep – Love

If psychology interests you, you’ll find this book interesting, but more importantly, if you’ve had troubled relationships, this book is a must read! Since I had a relatively normal childhood and had a decent relationship with my mother and other family members when I was young, I always figured I had a secure attachment style. However, when I read this book and completed the attachment questions, I learned that I have an anxious attachment style. Who wants to admit that? Certainly not me.

I was initially disgusted with myself and felt like I was doing everything all wrong. However, I am able to see where this style comes from and while I can’t totally shake the feelings of being anxious around attachment, I now have an understanding of how I can better manage my attachment related behaviors. I also learned that your attachment style can change over time and anxious people can become securely attached if they are able to create a secure environment with their partner. There’s hope for me yet! I’m making light of the matter, but I highly recommend this book whether you are currently in a relationship or not. It can also help you make sense of your past relationships.

Waking Up White and Finding Myself in the Story of Race

Who would’ve thought that as a white person, a book about race would make such an impact? Considering current events, it’s obvious that most of us needed to do this work a long time ago. While this book focuses on anti racism and has strategies on how to spot and discuss racism across cultures, the parts that impacted me most were the discussions about what it means to be white. The author really breaks down the beliefs we have in white culture. I had never thought of it this way. She is also a New Englander and I could see myself in so many things that she was talking about. Especially in terms of family culture, keeping strong emotions to yourself, avoiding conflict and sticking to basic small talk. I always assumed that my conflict avoidance was just because I wanted to be a nice person and please others. While that is true, when I really think about it, that is how most of the women are in my family. We are peace makers. We are not happy unless everyone is getting along.

When I look back on my childhood, if I cried or showed other strong emotions, I remember feeling embarrassed or ashamed to be displaying that level of emotion in front of people. Even if I was just with my family. I felt like I needed to stay strong and push through whatever was going on regardless of my feelings. Showing sadness or hurt feelings were signs of weakness. At least that’s how I internalized it. We are uncomfortable with that level of emotion.

If someone gets angry in front of me, I either want to fix it quickly by giving them whatever will calm them down. If that won’t work, I just want to get out of that situation. The same goes if someone is sad. I don’t want to sit with that. I want to make them feel better. My first instinct is to try to find a way to make them happy again. Sometimes, that can’t happen and I hate when I can’t fix it for them. Now I realize that it’s more than my individual personality at work. It’s my New England culture and apart of being white. I’m not quite done with this book yet, but it has been an eye opener. While I originally checked this book out to have a better understanding of racism and white privilege, I ended up with a better understanding of myself.

What books speak to you? What books have had an impact on your life? Tell me in the comments.

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Personal Development, Self Care

50 Affirmations and Quotes to Inspire Self Compassion and Kindness

June 15, 2020

How kind are you to yourself? If your friend was going through a rough time and you were comforting her, would you say the same things to yourself if you were in a similar situation? I’m guessing you’d be a whole lot harder on yourself. In most cases, we are our own worst critics.

I was on a conference call with two other coaches. One of them asked how we were going to be kind to ourselves this week. She wanted us to come up with a mantra or affirmation that we could tell ourselves to show some self compassion. She reminds us that we are human. We make mistakes, but we do the best we can. We need to look at ourselves with the same kindness and compassion that we give to others. When it was my turn to speak, I honestly couldn’t think of anything. I stumbled over my words and totally drew a blank. However, if you asked what was one kind thing I could say to a friend, a family member or even a stranger, I could come up with something in a second. Eventually, I said, “I’ll show myself some patience and forgiveness when I make a mistake.”

I felt very put on the spot, but I realized that I’m generally not kind to myself. I have no idea how many times a day I put myself down in my head. If I kept track, it would probably be shocking. I would never do that to someone else, so why would I do that to myself? I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this, so I was inspired to create this list of 50 self kindness and compassion quotes and affirmations to remind you to be. Kinder to yourself.

You can copy and paste these to print or put up on your wall. You can add them to a screen saver or image on your phone. You can create a vision board, write them in a notebook or create your own affirmations. Use these quotes to inspire self kindness in a way that resonates with you.

Affirmations

I am worthy of love.

I am worthy of infinite and unending compassion.

I deserve love, compassion, and empathy.

I am powerful, confident, and capable of reaching all my dreams.

I have a warm and caring heart.

I am exactly who I need to be in this moment.

All of my decisions are inspired from inner wisdom and compassion.

I am a beautiful person.

I love and treasure my body.

I honor and respect my limitations.

Happiness flows freely from me.

Love rises from my heart in the face of difficulty.

I have infinite capacity for love and affection.

I am successful.

I believe in the person I dream of becoming.

I carry strength and resilience with me.

I have the ability to overcome any challenge life gives me.

Changing is never simple but it’s easier if I stop being hard on myself.

My mistakes just show that I’m growing and learning.

It’s okay to make mistakes and forgive myself.

I am free to let go of others’ judgments.

My life is a celebration of my accomplishments.

My every step is one of courage.

Abundance and love flow from me.

I honor my own life path.

Quotes

“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” Christopher Germer

“We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” Mary Dunbar

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Sharon Salzberg

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” Brené Brown

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” Malcolm S. Forbes

“There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it! Why do you do such a thing?” C. JoyBell C.

“Did your mom ever tell you, ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything’? She was right–and talking nicely also applies when you’re talking to yourself, even inside your head.” Victoria Moran

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” Diane Von Furstenberg

“I love myself for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now.” Louise Hay

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.” Heath L. Buckmaster, Box of Hair: A Fairy Tale

“You can succeed if nobody else believes it, but you will never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself.” William J. H. Boetcker

“I was once afraid of people saying ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand and say ‘This is who I am.’” Oprah Winfrey

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” Christopher K. Germer

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”―Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

“An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves–the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place.”—Marshall Rosenberg, Non-Violent Communication

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”—Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”—Steve Furtick

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” —Paulo Cohelo

“Flowers don’t open and close according to whose walking by. They open and show their beauty regardless.” Rebecca Campbell – Light Is The New Black

“Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.” Confucius

“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” – Jean Shinoda Bolen

Learning to love yourself is like learning to walk—essential, life-changing, and the only way to stand tall.” – Vironika Tugaleva

“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.” – Brian Andreas

Do you have a favorite affirmation or quote that you use to be kind to your self? Tell me in the comments.

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Motherhood, Personal Development

31 Journal Prompts for Mother’s Day

May 10, 2020

I want to wish everyone a happy Mother’s Day! I know Mother’s Day looks different this year, but hopefully you’ve found creative ways to celebrate the moms in your life. I’ve created this list of 31 journal prompts to help you do that. You can use these for self reflection, preserving memories or maybe you want to use some of these questions to get to know your own mom better. These prompts can be used for grandmothers, aunts or any mother figures in your life. You can either use these prompts in order over the next month or just use the prompts that resonate with you. They are meant to be a starting point. Enjoy these Mother’s Day journal prompts.

Lessons Learned

Use these prompts to reflect on lessons learned and to become clear on the lessons you want to teach your children.

What is the most important lesson you learned from your mom?

What did your mom teach you about love?

What did your mom teach you about work?

What lessons have you learned from your mom about parenting?

What are some important lessons you want your children to learn?

Love and Gratitude

Use these prompts to express your love and gratitude for the people and things you appreciate in life.

What do you love about your mom?

What do you love about being a mom?

What do you love most about your children?

What does your ideal Mother’s Day look like?

Who are your female role models?

Making Memories

Use these prompts to remember the good times.

What’s your favorite memory of your mom?

What are your favorite memories so far with your children?

What did you do on your first Mother’s Day after becoming a mom?

What do you still want to do with your mother or children?

What’s your favorite childhood memory?

Family Traditions

Use these prompts to think about past and future family traditions.

What’s your favorite tradition from childhood?

What’s your favorite family recipe?

What traditions have you started with your own children?

What does Mother’s Day mean to you?

What is your family story?

Growth and Change

Use these prompts for personal development and self discovery.

How have you changed since becoming a parent?

How has your relationship changed with your mother over the years?

What do you wish your mom would have done differently?

How has your mom influenced your life choices?

What are your parenting goals?

Getting to know each other

These questions are for mothers and daughters to use to learn new things about each other.

What are your big dreams?

What do you wish you had done, but haven’t yet?

What are your goals for the next decade?

What’s one story you’d like to pass down to younger generations?

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?

What is the best thing about having a daughter or being a daughter?

I hope you find these prompts useful either for your personal journaling practice or to share with your mom. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day where ever you are in your parenting journey. Stay healthy and stay safe. How are you celebrating this Mother’s Day? Tell me in the comments.

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Personal Development, Self Care

How To Show Self Compassion

May 6, 2020

How are you doing? Where are you in this strange world we are living in? Maybe you are one of those people who is maximizing your time by taking courses, organizing your home or being productive with your work. Maybe you are on the other end of the spectrum and it’s all you can do to get out of bed and get dressed. Chances are, you are probably somewhere in the middle. Especially if you are a mom trying to hold down a job, homeschool kids and take care of the house. Where ever you are at this moment, I want to remind you to show some self compassion.

I’m writing about self compassion today because it is a struggle I am having. Chances are, I’m not alone in this. When the stay at home orders first started, I was thankful that I had some extra time to put towards my coaching and this blog. I was excited to have extra time with my daughter. I always wanted to stay at home with her, so I was looking atthis as an opportunity. For the first couple of weeks, things were going great. I had lots of motivation and my daughter was loving having me at home.

As time passes, I have lost the motivation to write which leaves me discouraged. I’ve also noticed behavioral changes in my daughter. She’s angry that she can’t go back to school and she misses her friends. She always tells me that she’s scared, but when I ask her what is scaring her she tells me, “monsters.” I’m wondering if it’s really monsters she’s scared of or is it something else. Is she scared that we may get sick? Is she scared of something she can’t put into words? She’s only four, so much of this is beyond her comprehension, but she is piecing things together and trying to make sense of it all. I’m trying to help her stay motivated with her learning, but she can’t focus. Quite frankly, neither can I.

Is it time to get back to the drawing board? Probably. We need to take a new approach. I’ve started with toy and book rotation, more snuggle time and a lot more going with the flow. As a coach, it’s my job to help others stay motivated and working towards achieving their goals, but I am only human and I am definitely feeling overwhelmed, sad and frusterated.

Your Challenges

What are your struggles?

Is it a lack of motivation?
Is it work/life balance?
Are your kids having trouble adjusting to the changes?
Are you unemployed and or in a career transition?
Is it cabin fever?

Whatever your challenges are, let’s start by being kind and compassionate with ourselves. We are in extraordinary circumstances.

What is self compassion?

The definition of self compassion is is the extension of kindness, care, warmth, and understanding (instead of beratement and criticism) toward oneself when faced with shortcomings, inadequacies, or failures.

When I think of self compassion, I picture this situation. When your friend is going through a tough time, what do you tell them? If your friend tells you she let the kids eat junk food because she didn’t feel like cooking or that they sat in front of the tv for too long, what would you tell her? You would probably tell her to be kind to herself. You’d tell her to try again tomorrow and not to worry so much. You wouldn’t tell her that she’s a terrible mother for not feeding organic or putting the kids in front of the tv so that she can get a moment of peace. If we are kind and compassionate with our friends, why do we criticize ourselves for the same actions?

Tips for Self Compassion

1. Say kind things to yourself.

If those negative statements pop into your head when you lose motivation, snap at your children or forget to take care of yourself, try using a positive statement instead.

I will use calm words with my children.

I may be overwhelmed, but I am a good mother.

I will start fresh tomorrow.

I have achieved these goals and will achieve my goals in the future.

Whatever your negative self-talk is, think of positive statements to challenge these beliefs. Write them down if you have to.

2. Stop and practice gratitude.

Whether it is in your head, on paper or in your phone, stop and write a few things you are grateful for. It may bring you joy and help you feel centered again.

3. Practice self-care.

If you are able to take just a short break to something for your self, it can make all the difference. Here are some ideas.

Journaling,

Meditation,

Taking a walk,

Take a bubble bath,

Have your favorite drink or comfort food,

Read a book or maybe just one chapter.

4. Connect With Others

If you can’t seem to give your self any compassion, reach out to someone who will lift you up. Call a friend, a family member or others in your network. Sometimes, it helps to talk things out. You may come away with a new perspective or will feel better in knowing that someone else understands and has your back.

Where ever you are at this point, it is okay. If you are on fire with ambition, that’s awesome! If you are feeling down, be kind to yourself. If you and your kids are driving each other crazy, take a break if you can and find something you can enjoy. That’s what I’ve been doing this week. I’m taking care of myself so that when I come back, I will have more positive energy and a renewed sense of purpose. Most importantly, I am showing some self compassion and I hope these tips help you do the same.

How are you and your children coping with all of this? Tell me in the comments.

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