Fall is officially here and it will be Thanksgiving before you know it. Although Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful, we should be practicing gratitude every day. Just noting what you are grateful for each day can help boost your happiness and takes less than five minutes. There actually are several scientifically proven benefits of gratitude. Most people start by being grateful for the big things like having a roof over their head or spending time with loved ones. There is the small stuff too like breathing in the fresh air outside or a positive interaction you may have with a stranger. Too often, we all take the wonderful things in our lives for granted which is why I’ve made a list of journal prompts for gratitude to help us all stop and remember everything good in our lives.
Gratitude for Others
1. Who are you grateful to know and why?
2. What is one nice thing someone did for you today?
3. What is one nice thing you did for someone else today?
4. What traits do you admire in others?
5. How are you able to help others?
6. What’s one thing that someone has given you that you are grateful for?
7. What are you thankful for in your community?
8. What are your favorite traditions?
9. Who has had the biggest influence on you?
10. What am I able to offer to others?
Gratitude for Yourself
1. Make a list of things you are grateful For at this moment.
2. Make a list of things you love about yourself.
3. What experiences have made you a stronger or better person?
4. When were the happiest times in your life?
5. What would you like to attract in your life?
6. Make a list of things that make you happy and keep adding to it.
7. What have you accomplished so far in life?
8. What are you looking forward to?
9. What place are you most grateful for?
10. Is there a book, movie or song that has really inspired you?
11. What’s one mistake or failure that you are grateful for?
12. What do you appreciate in nature?
13. What do you like about your job?
14. What quotes inspire you?
15. What’s the funniest thing you saw or heard today?
16. What makes you smile?
17. What do you take for granted?
18. What material things are you grateful for?
19. What life lessons are you thankful for?
20. What was one big life changing moment for you?
Are there any other gratitude prompts you use in your journal practice? Tell me in the comments.
As I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts, I love journaling. I find that journaling has a lot of benefits. It helps clear the mind, look at things from a different perspective and lets you reflect on your past. It’s a great way of keeping track of your goals, remembering dreams, showing gratitude, preserving memories and if you are a writer, it’s one way to create content. Journaling helps me relax before I go to bed, but I’ve been so focused on this blog, I haven’t been journaling as much. That’s something I want to change because I was thinking about how I’ve been writing to preserve memories for Rosebud. When she was a baby, I wrote so many things down, but for the past year, I’ve definitely been slacking which brings me to the topic of journal prompts for moms. I’ll divide them up into categories and hopefully this will help all of us to start or to continue our journaling practice.
Prompts to Preserve Memories
What was your child’s birth story?
What was your family life like growing up?
What lessons did your parents teach you?
What do you wish they would’ve done differently?
What have been the most memorable experiences so far with your children?
Make a list of firsts and write the stories behind them. First words, first food, first steps, first birthday party, first day of school, first night away from home etc.
What was your first memory from your childhood?
Where was your favorite place as a child and where is your favorite place now?
Who were your childhood friends?
What are your child’s favorite toys?
What were your favorite toys as a child?
Did you have any childhood pets? If so, what were they like?
Make a list of things you love about your children.
Exploring the Future
What are your hopes and dreams?
What are your short-term and long-term goals?
What is the most important lesson you want your children to learn?
Write a letter to your older self.
Write letters to your children.
Where do you want your life to be in ten years?
What are your hopes and dreams for your children?
Self Discovery
If you could have any career, what would you do?
What places would you like to see?
If you won ten million dollars, what would you do?
Who do you look up to and why?
What relaxes you?
Make a list of things that bring you joy.
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
What do you love about yourself?
If you’re in a relationship, what do you love about your partner?
If you are not in a relationship, what do you look for in a partner?
What are your biggest secrets?
What is your biggest regret?
What does your perfect day look like?
What new activities or hobbies would you like to try?
What does self-care mean to you?
Prompts for Daily Life
What are you grateful for today?
What happened today that made you smile?
What was the worst thing about today?
What’s on the menu for the day or week?
Write a story with your child.
What conversations did you have with your children today?
Is there something about today that you wish you could have done differently?
What is your morning routine like?
What is your fitness routine like?
Did you have any dreams that you remember?
Free Writing Prompts
Some people use a word as a prompt and just write whatever comes to mind. It’s a stream of consciousness exercise. I’ll use some words that may pertain to motherhood.
Motherhood,
Growing,
Working,
Change,
Time,
Happiness,
Expectations,
Wonder,
Plans,
Wishes.
Do you have any go to journaling prompts when you get stuck? Tell me in the comments. If you are looking for a new journal, here are some different styles to choose from. Happy journaling!
If you keep a digital journal like me, check out my favorite journaling app.
Today, I have a wonderful guest post for you by Andee Schmidt who is working on her new blog. When it is up and running, I will add the link to this post. I often talk about personal development and the importance of self-care for moms, so I was happy when Andee approached me to share this post on affordable self-care for mothers. Thank you, Andee for writing this post and sharing with my readers. If you’re on a budget and are in need of some affordable self-care ideas, you’ll definitely want to check out Andee’s self-care suggestions.
Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard the term self-care being floated about. Many times this idea conjures up a “treat yourself” mentality of shopping splurges and face masks, but that’s not always the case. Self-care can be accessible.
But, as mothers, it might feel like there’s barely any time –or money– to focus on you. Read on in this list of affordable self-care ideas to find out how mothers can prioritize themselves, because health shouldn’t be a luxury.
Self-Care for Mothers
Moms have the toughest job in the world. You’re probably feeling overworked and overtired, and that’s precisely why it’s important that you take care of both your mental and physical wellbeing.
Ultimately, self-care is the practice of taking action to improve your own health. Honoring your body, mind, and spirit will help you activate the best version of yourself you can be by improving your physical, mental and/or emotional health.
Although it probably sounds impossible to prioritize an hour for just you, treating yourself to time alone has been proven to improve overall wellbeing. In fact, according to VeryWellMind, it can even make you a better caregiver, because it reduces the feeling of burn out.
Free and Affordable Options
Flex your creativity
You don’t need to be artistic to benefit from an artistic hobby. In fact, the pleasure from art usually comes from the process of creation, not necessarily the final outcome. Whether it’s painting, knitting, drawing or sculpting, budgeting some time per week for a creative hobby can have very positive results. Finding your groove with something artsy is a great way to get into a flow state and let your mind relax.
Remember, coloring books aren’t only for children anymore, but you can always have your kids join the fun and color together!
Relax your mind
Meditation can be intimidating. I don’t know how to do it well or I get distracted are common concerns of those new to the practice. But, here’s the thing, meditating is just about listening to your thoughts and being present in the moment. You can even meditate while taking a shower or while winding down for bed.
Like anything else, meditation takes practice; but here’s a list of good –and free– applications that can get you started: The Mindfulness App,Headspace and Calm.
Become a yogi
You don’t need a large budget for yoga: as long as you have comfortable clothing and a nice quiet space for your practice, you’ll be good to go.
There’s no need to stress about flexibility, stamina or fitness levels. Yoga is more about the mind than the body: learn to be present and mindful of what your body is capable of without worrying too much about perfection. Plus, there are even positions that allow you to lay flat on the floor–mini nap anyone?
Oftentimes, reading is something that falls to the backburner when you have so many other things to worry about. However, reading can be excellent for self-care. Reading is a relaxing activity that helps you take a break from the stress of everyday. Plus, with the boom of audio books you can even read while taking care of your other tasks.
If you’re interested in learning more about self-care, you might want to start by reading some of the books on this list, or these, if you want to read about motherhood.
Take a walk
The good thing about walking? It’s free. And you can do it basically anywhere. Pop in your headphones, or put the kids in a stroller and just walk.
As long as you take the time to think about yourself and take care of your mind, you’ll be practicing some form of self-care. Plus, studies have shown that spending time outdoors can reduce mental fatigue, stress and elevate your mood.
Finding Time for Self-Care
Now this is all peachy… but, many of you might be thinking: how do I get enough time alone to do that?! Prioritizing yourself can be tough when you feel that every second is going to taking care of others. It’s certainly not easy, but here’s a list of quick tips you can use to find the time alone you need:
Occupy the kids
Use the time when your kids are busy as time to squeeze in your self-care. Play dates, nap time and after-school activities are great ways to both entertain your kids and get some free time for yourself.
Put it on your calendar
If you make alone time sporadic, it will feel abnormal for your family. But if you do it weekly and let your kids and partner know this is “mom’s time”, it will become part of their routine and yours!
Ask for help
The truth is, getting alone time while being a mother is nearly impossible, but don’t be afraid to ask for help. Make a plan with your partner or anyone in you support system so you can ensure you are getting what you need. Lean on the people in your life. Also, if you are able, there’s nothing wrong with hiring a babysitter to get a few hours to yourself.
Many of these activities can also be done with the whole family: take your kids out for a walk, to the movies, or the park and you will soon find yourself with time on your hands to think. But if you are able to get some precious alone time, don’t feel guilty for enjoying it. Remember, moms need to be taken care of too!
About the author:
Andee is a recent college graduate from Arizona State University with a love of writing, the outdoors, and funky cafes. You can usually find her hiking or planning her next trip. She is passionate about traveling, frugal living, her family, and the perfect cup of coffee. She is the writer behind the blog : xx . Find her on Instagram as @andee_schmidt or Twitter @andeeschmidt.
I’m writing this post because of situations I’ve had recently both with coworkers and old friends. One reason I have created this blog is to talk about some of the difficult issues that come up surrounding motherhood. For me, isolation is one of those issues. To be honest, I’ve never really fit in anywhere. I’ve always had trouble meeting people and making friends. Maybe it’s my shy and introverted personality. Maybe it’s my visual impairment that puts people off. Maybe it’s another flaw in my personality or maybe it’s the world we live in today. Whatever the reason, I’ve never really found my tribe.
This past week, I reached out to an old friend. We exchanged a couple of messages, but the conversation fizzled out pretty quickly. It ended with me asking about his kids and how his work was going. Whenever I hear from this person, there are always excuses about how busy he is, but it’s clear he’s just too busy for me. It’s like that with most interactions I have with people. I make all the effort to keep in touch, but get very little in return.
The Isolation
I hear this from a lot of adults. They feel isolated. It’s hard to make friends and it’s hard to see the ones we have regularly. Another friend and I were talking the other day about how isolating parenting can be. She told me that many of her friends had kids young, so now they are in a completely different stage of parenting. They don’t want to deal with the birthday parties, the baby showers etc. It’s harder to find things in common. I miss the ease of childhood friendships. Kids bond over playing the same sports, liking the same music or it could just be as simple as deciding they will be friends and then sticking to it. Then we all grow up. Now that we have smart phones and the internet, we seemed to have forgotten how to interact with the people around us.
Are we passing our isolation on to our children?
Awkwardness
Rosebud is social by nature. She still has trouble with sharing her toys, but she generally loves to be around other kids. The thing is, she doesn’t have much of an opportunity for that since she is not in childcare. I want her summers to be fun and memorable, so I took her on a few field trips last year. For starters, I took her to the library where they have a play room. Presumably, children can play together there. We spent some time looking at books and playing and hoped another kid would show up. Well, a father and his two kids eventually did, but he sat with his kids outside the room and was clearly waiting for us to leave. It was awkward, so we left.
Hovering
Our next trip was to a small children’s museum. Honestly, it was just a larger preschool classroom that advertises itself as a museum to get funding for their program. Rosebud had a good time playing with the different toys there, but I hoped she’d get to play with other kids. There were a couple other kids her age, but instead of encouraging the kids to play together, the parents hovered and followed the kids from place to place. When I was a kid, the kids played together and the parents would talk. This was true even in new places with new kids. Especially if the place was relatively small and you could see the kids from where ever you were.
Aggression
Our third trip was to a larger museum for children where Rosebud’s favorite thing was a room full of blocks and balls. There was a boy around her age who was there with his brother. They were building a tower with the blocks and then filling it with balls. Rosebud noticed this and started gathering balls for them, but whenever she brought balls over to them, the smaller boy would tell her to go away and that they weren’t playing with her. She was too young at the time to feel the rejection and kept filling buckets of balls for them.
After a while, we went to another room that had different kinds of tunnels with balls. They also had an exhibit where you could keep balls floating in the air. It was basically a cone with air being forced out of it. Anyway, there was another boy around her age and she noticed his dad bouncing balls over the cone. He could keep several going at once which made her laugh. When she noticed the boy, she went over to stand next to him. There was plenty of room for them both to play with the ball machines, but the boy kept hitting her and pushing her away no matter what she did. I kept having her move away from him, but she really want to play with him. After a little while, we decided to leave because I didn’t want the boy to keep being mean to her. Maybe he was the one who should’ve left, but I didn’t want to cause a scene or try to have an awkward conversation with his dad. However I told Rosebud to tell the boy that she didn’t like it when he hit or pushed her. I also told her to stay away from him and that she didn’t have to be around people who were mean to her. While hitting and pushing is developmentally appropriate to a point, as a childcare provider, I’m seeing an over abundance of aggressiveness. That seems to be the first response to everything. Many kids seem to get physical without remorse and I’m convinced that there’s more involved than kids just being kids.
Insecurity
Then one day at our neighborhood playground, Rosebud was enjoying the slide when a father and his four-year-old daughter showed up. While Rosebud was excited to see another kid, I couldn’t wait to leave. I had a quick conversation with the father and we left. While this is what I complain about, I couldn’t help but feel like I needed to get away. First, I wasn’t sure if they wanted the playground to themselves. Then all these things ran through my mind. What would I talk to this guy about while our kids played? What if Rosebud did something to the other child that I didn’t see? What if his daughter did something to Rosebud? What if I had to chase her if she ran off the playground? Sometimes she’d run off and I had to run after her. I didn’t want to do that in front this man who I didn’t know. I didn’t want him to notice my visual impairment and think that I was less of a parent. I didn’t want this stranger to see me make a mistake, so it felt safer for me to leave. Then I wonder if I denied Rosebud an opportunity to make a friend. Will I have to keep doing that?
Final Thoughts and
Questions
This brings me back to the struggle I have with making friends. Am I unintentionally passing it on to her? Before she was born, I thought it’d be easier to make friends as a mom. I thought there’d be play groups and more ways to connect. Of course we’d have something huge in common, being a mother. Then real life happens, insecurities pop up and then motherhood becomes more isolating than ever. Most of the play groups or children’s activities in my area are during the day. Childrens activities and play groups are great places for making mom friends if you are a sahm or have a flexible work schedule. Unfortunately, I’m a working mom with a standard work schedule, so it’s not possible to attend. There are also the logistics of transportation which makes things even more complicated and I usually decide it’s not worth climbing the mountain.
Since I haven’t figured this out yet, I’m posting some questions to you. How do you make friends as a mom? Do you feel isolated or have you found your tribe? How do you facilitate your children making friends? Let me know in the comments.
I want to wish all the mothers out there a happy Mothers Day. For this year’s Mothers Day post, I’m sharing five of the ways that motherhood has changed me.
Before I became a mother, I had all these ideas of what parenting would be like. I care for and teach children every day, so I thought it had prepared me and in some ways, it did. I was comfortable with bottle feeding, changing diapers and soothing crying babies. I had learned about the value of giving children choices and setting appropriate limits. I had discovered cool toys and activities that I wanted my children to have. I saw wonderful children’s books that I wanted to read to them.
The thing with childcare is that the children leave at the end of the day. I didn’t have to deal with the sleepless nights, the endless work and the joys and challenges of parenting. I hadn’t grasped the overwhelming idea of having another human being truly depending on you for everything. The instant I found out I was pregnant, my life had completely changed. Here are just a few of the ways motherhood has changed me.
More Empathetic
Becoming a mother has given me a different perspective and makes me a better childcare provider. I am much more empathetic towards other parents. I used to be really judgmental. I thought I’d be one of those parents who wouldn’t let their kids watch much tv. I was going to bottle feed and who cares. My baby wasn’t going to have a pacifier. My baby would sleep in her own crib. You get the picture. My reality after Rosebud was born was completely different. During my pregnancy, I had done some research and decided to breast-feed. My baby eventually got a pacifier because I was tired of being one. She slept with me because she refused to sleep by herself in her crib. My choices were sleep or insanity. I chose sleep. Unfortunately, she gets more screen time than I’d like. I need to get things done around the house and sometimes I just need a breather and it keeps her occupied.
Now when other parents come in with these struggles, I understand. When moms come in with really small bottles of milk because it’s all they’ve pumped, I can empathize. When they want their babies pace fed, I get it. When a single mom lets her kid watch tv every night because she needs to get stuff done or just relax, I’m right there with her. When a parent doesn’t want to hear that something is wrong with her child, I completely understand. While the educator part of me wants to help that child as soon as possible, the parent part empathizes with the denial and wishing it wasn’t true.
More Cautious
Before Rosebud, I was more likely to step out of my comfort zone and take risks, but I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more anxious now. I worry about everything, especially the future. I remember my high school days where I was excited to be going off to college. I went across the country to start over in a totally new place. I was more confident, more independent and full of hope.When things didn’t work out there, I was crushed, but I picked myself up and returned to a local college. After lots of volunteering, I eventually got a job and then my life basically stayed the same for several years until Rosebud was born. Back in high school I did some traveling as well and that stopped.
I don’t remember the last time I went anywhere alone. I’m less confident about applying for jobs, meeting new people or trying new things. I have Rosebud to think about now and I think about how everything I do might effect her. I admit, I can go overboard. I’ve tried to make a lot of changes, but I’m not as confident as I was before. My anxiety plays a big part in that. I am a work in progress. Pushing through the hard stuff is an important thing that we all need to model for our children.
More Aware of Time
After I became a mom, I suddenly realized, I didn’t have any time to myself anymore. I insisted that I’d be showering everyday and I never gave that up. I needed that to feel like myself, so when Rosebud was a baby, I put her in the bouncer in the bathroom while I showered. I heard other mothers say how they could barely get a shower in and I decided that wasn’t going to be me. My time slipped away in other ways. I barely could write in my journal anymore. I rarely watch tv now. My crafting hobbies have pretty much disappeared. There are a ton of cleaning projects I’d like to tackle, but when? My time is divided three ways. There’s Rosebud, my day job and the blog. Other than that, there’s a few hours of sleep in between. I will never take good sleep or free time for granted again. When I have time to write in my journal or take a ceramics class, I enjoy it so much more now.
I Will Not Settle
When I found out I was pregnant, I decided that I could never settle. This applies to all areas of my life. I couldn’t settle for a bad relationship because I didn’t want my daughter to have bad relationships as an adult. I want her to see a healthy relationship. Two people that treat each other with respect, looking out for each other and supporting each other. I didn’t want her to grow up seeing constant fighting or a relationship that was distant and unhappy. I want Rosebud’s childhood to be filled with happy memories, not painful ones.
I can’t settle in my career. I need to find something I truly enjoy. Childcare has taken it’s tole since Rosebud was born. While I have become a more empathetic childcare provider, I have become a far less patient one. My exhaustion of 24-7 childcare, office politics and my wish to be home with Rosebud have pushed me to the tipping point. That’s why I’ve been working so hard to find something else. I want Rosebud to know that she doesn’t have to settle either. It’s hard when you have to balance responsibility with what you know is right in your heart.
I Trust Myself
I’ve heard a lot of parenting advice over the past three years and you know where I’ve found the solutions? From my own gut instincts. Since becoming a mother, I have learned to trust myself. People said I was creating bad habits by letting Rosebud sleep with me. At fifteen months, she transitioned into her own bed and has been a great sleeper. In my heart I knew she was ready. I followed my own instincts and it worked out. The same went for potty training. I got endless advice and pressure and I tried so many things. Eventually I gave up. Yes, I gave up. I said, we aren’t doing this right now. I told her that when she was ready to use the potty to let me know. A few weeks later, she came to me and said she wanted to use big girl panties. A week later, she told me she didn’t want the night time diaper any more. She’s been dry ever since. I always thought she’d do it when she was ready and she did. I felt guilty for not following my instincts and caving in from outside pressures, but I learned an important lesson.
I’ve applied this to other areas of my life. If I get a weird vibe about a situation, I trust myself instead of trying to make excuses or staying to be polite. I haven’t always been good at advocating for myself, but if something is wrong, I am starting to speak up about it. It’s amazing how we get conditioned to ignore our inner voice. We need that guidance, especially when we are parents.
Motherhood has changed me in so many ways. Everything from simple daily routines to being more emotional about certain things. Some changes are for good and others not so much, but I wouldn’t change a thing about Rosebud. I’m so glad she came into my life. How has being a parent changed you? Tell me in the comments.
Disclosure: I am an affiliate with Ultimate Bundles and if you make a purchase through the links in this post, I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you.
What’s Inside?
The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is perfect for busy moms. Whether you work from home, work outside the home or if homemaking is your primary job, there is something in this bundle for you. The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is jam packed with resources to help you care for yourself, your home and family. Are you in need of good parenting resources? The bundle includes Emotional Overload: 3 Steps To Fewer Tantrums, Greater Connections & More Cooperation
by Rachel Norman among other parenting resources. Are you in need of recipes or meal planning ideas? You can find that in the bundle as well with The Humbled Homemaker’s Meal Planning Printables Bundle
by Erin Odom. If you are a blogger and need some help making Pinterest work for you, HerPaperRoute Guide To Pinterest Marketing
by Chelsea Clarke is also a part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.
Even More Resources
As you can see, this bundle covers a variety of topics because we wear a variety of hats! We need to take care of ourselves, our families and our homes. The resources in this bundle are filled with strategies to help you do that. Focus on yourself with Courage Against Uncertainty, Habit Tracker Printables and the Lean Fit Home Workout Guide. Support your family with Command Center for Kids, Mom’s Bff Planner, Creating Family Vision Boards and Date Night Bucket Lists. Take care of your home using the Declutter Your House in a Weekend, the Homekeeping & Cleaning Kit and much more.
A Great Value
The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is a great value! This amazing library of courses and E-books are worth over $2200, but you can get it now for $39.97 for a limited time. The sale ends May 6, 2019. Click here to get the full list of included resources and fore more information about how the bundle works. The homemaking bundle was released just in time for Mothers Day and could make a great gift for the busy moms in your life.
I want to share some of my favorite things and accomplishments for the month of March. This is something new I plan on doing at the end of every month from now on. Writing down my accomplishments will keep me accountable and moving forward and why not share some of my favorite things? You might like them as well. For this month, I have a book, a recipe, a perfume and some articles to pass along.
Accomplishments
I’ll start with my wins for the month of March. At the end of February, I started using my Pinterest account which had no views. As of this moment, there are 39,000 views. I know that’s a relatively small number for Pinterest, but it’s just the beginning. I think it’s good considering the endless accessibility issues I have with Pinterest, my limited ability to create eye catching photos and my lack of knowledge on how Pinterest works. I have been reading and researching which has given me a better understanding of strategies for using Pinterest. It’s a work in progress, but what isn’t? My second win and one of my goals for 2019 was to reactivate my Amazon associates account. I’ve been working hard to update older posts as well as create new content. Now the trick is making those sales. My third accomplishment was getting approved for ShareASale. That will be my next project.
Book
As I’ve talked about on the blog before, I always have an Audible book that I’m listening to. Earlier this month, I read the Ex-Wife by Jess Ryder. It was one of those books that sounded kind of interesting, but I wasn’t too sure about it. I found it in a two books for one credit deal. After the first couple of chapters, I really wanted to know what happened next. I listened to most of it in one weekend. I won’t give anything away, but the ending seemed to be an opening for a second book, but who knows. I’ve read a lot of books lately where loose ends aren’t tied up.
Unfortunately, I did not take a picture when I cooked this, but I’m not a food photographer anyway. This Easy Instant Pot Macaroni and Cheese is so simple to make. It tastes good. Rosebud loved it and that is saying something. She’s going through an extremely picky eating phase. The best part is it takes about ten minutes. The other great thing is you make it in the instant pot. I love having only one pot instead of a bunch of pots and pans to wash. The macaroni comes out perfect and it is very cheesy. If you try it, let me know what you think.
Perfume
I ordered some makeup and got a sample of Viva LA Juicy Noir by Juicy Couture. I quickly used it all and then had to order more. It’s hard to describe the scent. It’s kind of fruity, but it’s not over the top sweet. It’s not too strong unless you use more than you should. I normally stick with one or two scents that I use most of the time, but this one has become one of my favorites. What are your perfumes that you absolutely love?
Articles
Okay, so I have several for this month. I couldn’t narrow it down to just one, but they all serve different purposes.
This first article is about raising daughters and gender stereotypes. It’s well written and reminds us what is important about raising a girl. Click here to read, The Trappings of Girlhood.
I saw this cool article from Whimsyroo with a list of bath time activities. I know Rosebud gets bored with the same bath toys and this post has some great ideas to make bath time more fun. I love this blog and all the fun activities she posts. Click this link for Creative Bath Time Activities for Kids.
I am a big fan of journaling and one of the benefits of journaling is gratitude. If you journal about the things you are grateful for, it can boost your mood and if you are a believer in the law of attraction, gratitude will bring you more things to be grateful for. That being said, listing the same five things you are grateful for can be a little boring and not seem worth the effort, but Monica from Mindfully Monica explains how to start a gratitude journal that actually works.
Full disclosure, I saw this one a little before March started, but I have to share it. I’m featured on this post from GROWMOMMY.COM! Rosebud’s antics earned me a spot in this list of 10 Hilarious Reasons for Toddler Tantrums.
This post from Be Anxious About Nothing brings to light the very important and overlooked issues of disabled domestic abuse. The post was written in defense of Dr. Phil and his recent show with a couple where the man is disabled and the woman is not. I knew nothing about it until seeing this post, but there has been outrage online due to the show’s supposed ablism. I say supposed because I have not seen it and don’t want to comment without viewing it first. However, I will share this post because disabled people are more likely to be the victims of abuse and that has to stop.
This final link is to a Ted talk about being a good listener. Too often we forget to really take the time to listen to someone. Sometimes all someone needs is to be heard.
At the beginning of this year, I made a list of books I plan to read in 2019. Take Control of Your Life by Mel Robbins was one of them. It’s still early in the year, but I’m glad I’ve finished it already. There were a lot of helpful tips for managing fear, changing your mindset and paying attention to what’s really going on in our bodies.
When we respond to fear, it’s our bodies that get triggered first. Your stomach may tighten, your face may get hot, some people break out in hives etc. The response is different for everyone, but it’s that discomfort that makes us not want to face our fears and return to normal as soon as possible. This is great in a situation where your safety is at risk and your gut is telling you to get away, but it’s not so helpful when you need to make changes in your life. Even positive change is scary because it takes us out of our comfort zone. There were several coaching sessions in the book, but I will focus on the first coaching session because it resonated with me as it’s where I am in life right now. I will summarize the five takeaways from the session and explain how they work.
Figuring out your Pattern
The workbook opens up with some questions. What is your biggest fear and what is your response to it? One of my biggest fears is being stuck in the same place in life and never figuring out my purpose. I can’t imagine being stuck at my dead end job for another five or ten years. I don’t even want to imagine it for another six months. I have no passion left for it. It sucks the energy right out of me. Part of my fear is that I’ll never find something that I love doing. I’d settle for tolerable at this point. This is why the first coaching session in the book, Take Control of Your Life, really resonated with me. The coaching session was with Dan, a man whose biggest fear is never figuring out what he wants to do in life. He’s currently a teacher, but wants to retire from that and wonders what else is out there for him, but what stops him from exploring other options is his pattern of thinking and rethinking. I am also an over thinker.
When I was exploring the possibility of becoming a transcriptionist, I was thinking of everything and it became overwhelming. I had so many questions floating around and instead of working on one thing at a time, I’d either jump all over the place or never get anything done. I’d worry about which software I was going to use. How I’d track the money I was making, how much money I’d make, what I’d need for my business, how to do an invoice, what would I do for a style guide? I needed to write a business plan and didn’t know which part to work on first. Basically, I had jumped way ahead of myself. Most of this was before even trying to work for a transcription company and in the end, I figured out that I didn’t want to make it my life’s work. I hated the different style guides, the low pay, the inaccessibility of so many things and how it would take me a long time to get back up to a good speed. I’d need to be transcribing constantly to get fast again and the fact was I didn’t have the time or energy to devote to it. It’s been a similar process with my interest in coaching and the possibility of running a childcare business from my home. I’m still interested in these things, but I often try to think about the big picture and analyze every detail. For example, I was listening to a podcast about how to set up a life coaching website, but I haven’t even taken the certification course yet.
In the book, Mel Robbins talks about wanting to own a small town coffee shop for years. Eventually, she got a job working in a small coffee shop on weekends, but she quickly learned that she hated working there. What she loved about the coffee shop was the sense of community and her ability to afford a daily coffee if she wanted. She also enjoyed taking the time to sit down with a cup of coffee and chat with those around her. What I loved about transcription was the flexible schedule, the ability to work from home and the idea that I’d be making content accessible to people. I was more excited about my work environment and the prospect of helping people than actually transcribing documents. These are all things I can find in other jobs that would be a better fit. Sometimes, we end up hating the thing that we think is our passion, but every time we explore a new possibility, we learn something new about ourselves.
Slow Down
If we keep ourselves too busy, we don’t have to think about what scares us. If I’m busy, I don’t have to apply for jobs. I don’t have to think about what I want to do next. I don’t have to financially plan for how I’m going to get there. If I’m busy, I keep things the same. They are comfortable because they are familiar, but they are uncomfortable at the same time because I feel the tension in my body. If we slow down, we can figure out what we really want to do. You can slow down by taking a walk in nature, meditating, spending time with those who support you, write in your journal, take a hot bath etc. Whatever reenergizes you.
State It To Create It
In the coaching session, Dan says, “don’t laugh” before he states his dream out loud. His passion is wine and he’s interested in taking a class or opening a wine bar. I didn’t think it was laughable. It’s his dream. Mel discussed how we under state our dreams or never state them out loud at all for the fear of being judged. What if we never achieve our dreams, what then? We’ve already stated what we want and now others might hold us accountable. We also fear that people may think our dreams are stupid or crazy.
What if you don’t know what your dream is? Follow what you enjoy. What are you interested in? What have you always wanted to do? Well, I’m in that boat. I don’t know exactly what my dream is. I’m interested in coaching, so my first step would be to figure out one thing I can do to explore it. Maybe it’s taking a class. Maybe it’s talking to a coach. Maybe it’s watching youtube videos. Once you start, it leads to something else.
Brick By Brick
Don’t think too big. Break your goals down into achievable steps that you can work on each day. When you have a box of legos, you construct your building brick by brick. That is how to pursue your dreams. If your dream is starting a blog, sit down with a blank document and write. Then when you have a few entries written, then worry about the next steps of setting up the website, promoting on social media etc. My interest is coaching, so I signed up for a couple of free webinars. It’s not a huge step, but it’s exploration and it’s one action I can take so I’m not just spinning my wheels.
Passion is not a Person, Place or Thing.
I needed to hear this. It’s not the job, a big house or the new relationship that brings passion into your life. It’s what you have within. You grow in to your passion by following your Curiosity. If you are wondering about your passion, try answering these questions. What are you curious about? What would you do for free? Whose life are you envious of and why? Follow the energy inside of you. That’s where passion lives.
1. What is your biggest fear and what is your response? The first piece is to figure out your patterns.
2. Some of us use being busy to cover up our fears. Slow down. Take the time to listen to your inner voice in order to figure out your next steps.
3. State your dreams out loud in order to create them.
4. Achieve your goals brick by brick. Instead of thinking big, think small. Break actions down into small achievable tasks. If the task seems to overwhelming, break it down further.
5. Remember that passion is inside of you. Follow the things you are curious about. Follow the things that energize you and that will lead you in the right direction.
If you have the opportunity, I encourage you to listen to Take Control of Your Life and download the companion workbook. The questions are thought provoking, the tips are super useful and Mel and her coaching clients explain and demonstrate these concepts in a way that I can’t. Each person has a way of sharing their own personal stories. It’s conversational and relatable, so definitely check it out if you are interested in working on your mindset and breaking through fears. Have you read the book yet? What did you think? Tell me in the comments.
This morning, I made a video with Rosebud and shared it with friends. It was basically a video message from her telling everyone, happy Valentine’s day while playing with her build a bouquet play set.
During the video, I mentioned something about how on Valentine’s Day, you give cards and gifts to people you love. I told Rosebud that I gave her the flower set because I love her. I didn’t go into too much detail other than that, but after I posted the video, I felt guilty. I wondered if people would be judging me because I told her That Valentine’s Day was for giving cards and gifts. Would people think I’m materialistic? Yes, I’m an over thinker.
Then I thought that the more abstract ideas about Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be something that a three-year-old would understand anyway. For her, Valentine’s Day may be about gifts and cards because they are tangible, but as she gets older, I want her to understand that Valentine’s Day is about more than that. You might get cards and gifts for people you love, but the more important part is spending time with them. It’s about having fun, laughing, making memories together and showing them you care. I want her to know that you don’t need a commercialized day to do those things. They should be done every day.
I spent the majority of my day at work, but Rosebud spent it with family playing with her gifts, eating candy and having fun. When I was finally done with work, Little Guy and his mom came over to spend time with Rosebud and I. He had a Valentine for her. There was a goody bag with a crayon heart, a couple heart shaped lights and a flower. They were making quite a light show. His mom joked that it looked like a rave party. I ordered pizza and his mom brought a bottle of wine. Little Guy was too excited to settle down to eat, but he and Rosebud played. They laughed, chased each other around and argued over toys as only toddlers and preschoolers do, but in the end, they enjoy each other’s company. His mom and I talked, had a few laughs and enjoyed our pizza and wine.
Isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is about? Spending time with people you care about. It may be a day for couples, but if you are not in a relationship, you have to find a way to make it fun and that’s what I did. It’s too easy to get caught up in all that commercialization. I also think that when you have kids, holidays take on a whole new meaning. I am grateful that I spent the best parts of today with Rosebud and my new friends. Thank you for making today fun and memorable and for the reminder of what Valentine’s Day is really about.
Recently, I posted about the memorable books I read in 2018. I got a lot of great feedback from that post and one of my readers left me a comment wondering what I would like to read in 2019. Her comment got me thinking that a to be read list would make a great post. So, here it is. There is plenty of self help with some novels and nonfiction thrown in.
1. Take Control of Your Life
This is the latest release from Mel Robins that will be out in February. I’m a fan of her previous books. She has a direct style and practical advice. Some of the things covered in this book are fears of rejection, being alone and the dreaded, but all too common fear of change. Why not read it? Who doesn’t want to bust through fear and take control of their lives?
2. The Desire Map Experience
It’s not about the goals, to do lists or new years resolutions, but how you want to feel in every part of your life. I think this book will have a lot of useful exercises.
3. The Five Love Languages of Children
I read The Five Love Languages for Singles a couple years ago because I was curious as to what my love language was. It turns out, my love language is receiving gifts. I find the concept interesting and it makes a lot of sense. People have different ways of expressing love and of course, people have different things that are meaningful to them. I saw that Gary Chapman wrote a version for children and now I want to read it. I want to find out what Rosebud’s love language is. Maybe she’s still too young for me to know, but maybe not.
4. The Woman in the Window
A novel written by A. J. Finn, about a woman who lives alone who spies on her neighbors. She believes she has seen a crime, but has she? The book is a best seller and I want to read it to find out why.
5. The Perfect Roommate
Last year, I read a couple of books by Minka Kent and this is the third one I found on Audible. It doesn’t have as many good reviews as her other books, but I figured, why not give it a try? A girl knows some dark secrets about her roommate.
6. Writing creative nonfiction
The title makes it obvious what this book is about. It’s more of a course than a book, but I’m interested in ways of making my writing better. Even though it’s not my day job, why not improve my craft? These lectures include writing samples and exercises that help you with all stages of the writing process.
7. The Best Friend
This one is by Shalini Boland. A woman has a new best friend who seems to have it all, but as she learns more, she finds out her best friend has dark secrets.
8. The Introvert’s Way
A book that helps us introverts to embrace our quiet nature and honor what is unique about us. This book has been on my wish list for a while and I’m hoping to read it this year. It sounds like it will be a refreshing perspective on those of us who are quiet.
9. The Boy who Loved Too Much
A boy has Williams Syndrome. I’m not familiar with it at all, but it causes him to be trusting and overly friendly to everyone he meets. He doesn’t have the natural skepticism that we usually have with strangers. This book is about him and his mother’s challenges in parenting him. Like all parents, she has to choose when to be protective and when to let go, but his condition adds an extra layer.
10. Chicken Soup for the Traveler’s Soul
It seems as though there is a chicken soup book for everything and of course, they have one for travelers. I don’t get to travel these days, but I like learning about other places, so reading about it will have to do for now.
In reality, I have a wish list a mile long, but I’ve picked these ten to start with. I’m sure I’ll read more than ten books this year and will end up reading plenty that aren’t on this list. What have you read so far this year? What books are you planning to read? Tell me in the comments. Happy reading.
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Prompts for Daily Life
Accomplishments
This morning, I made a video with Rosebud and shared it with friends. It was basically a video message from her telling everyone, happy Valentine’s day while playing with her build a bouquet play set.
