Personal Development

How To Choose Your Word for 2020

I know this post is long overdue, but before I get to that, I want to wish you all a happy new year. I hope 2020 has started on a positive note for everyone, but if not, this post can point you in the right direction.
How to Choose Your Word for 2020

December was a busy month for me and I needed to take a break from the blog and although I’m posting today, I don’t know how often the entries will be coming. I suppose whenever I get inspired. I’ve really needed this break so that I can focus on other things. While I love the blog, I was having to devote way too much time to it. With being a single parent, working in a highly stressful job and dealing with other obligations, it was getting harder to carve out time for anything else, so I’ve had to rethink my priorities. I want the blog to be successful and I know that blogging is hard work, but I need to coast for a while. One of the reasons I’ve made this decision is because of the new year. I wrote in my journal and thought hard about what I want 2020 to look like.

Happy New Year 2020

Why one word instead of a New Years resolution?

I have always hated New Years resolutions. I make tons of goals for the new year, get excited about them and there’s a big push in January, but by February, everything gets dropped. Then there’s the guilt and all the negative self talk about why I didn’t accomplish my goals yet again. This year, I’m doing things differently. I’ve decided to choose one word to live by this year. I did this last year as well, but wasn’t really following it with intention. In order for this to work, you have to be passionate about the word you choose.

The word love in roses.

My word for 2020 is love. I chose the word love because after soul searching, I found that love was the most meaningful thing that I needed to work on for this year. Both for myself and others. This also means that all the goals I’ve chosen to work on for 2020 are connected to love in some way. some of my goals for the year include

  • Getting in better shape,
  • Being more present and patient with Rosebud,
  • Taking more time for self-care,
  • Changing my mindset,
  • Being in a loving relationship.

These goals all relate to taking care of myself or others. Having a connection between the goals will help to make them achievable. My intention for 2020 is love, but yours may be different. Maybe your word is action, happiness, mindful or change. It can be any word. Here are some suggestions if you are still having trouble coming up with a word.

How to Choose Your Word

  • 1. Write in your journal about what you want 2020 to look like. Are there any common themes?
  • 2. Brainstorm a list of words and see which word or group of words resonate with you the most.
  • 3. Make a vision board using images, words and or quotes. Are there any words or themes that pop out at you?
  • 4. If you are torn between two or three words, take time to think and then come back the next day. Do you have any new thoughts?
  • 5. Be sure your word and and any goals connected to your word energize you. Think about intentional things that you can do every day to bring your word to life.

How to Choose Your Word for 2020

Be Intentional

For my word, love, I have thought about what I can do everyday to bring love into my life. I can practice self-love by exercising and taking care of my body daily. I can send out loving energy by writing down a gratitude list of things that I’m thankful for each day. I can reach out to people to increase the chance of finding a meaningful relationship. There are so many things I can do to bring love into my life and that is what I intend to do in 2020. How about you? Do you have a word for the year? What are your plans, dreams or goals for 2020? Tell me in the comments.

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19 Things to Be Thankful for in 2019

First, I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving. If you are not in the US or don’t celebrate, that’s okay because any day is a good day to be thankful. It’s always good to show gratitude for the wonderful things in our lives. This has been a hard year for me and too often I focus on the areas of my life that I’m not satisfied with. Today reminds me that I need to stop and share what I am truly grateful for.

19 Things to be Thankful for in 2019

1. I want to start off with the amazing people in my life.

Rosebud is at the top of my list. Parenting is the hardest and most rewarding job I’ve ever done. I’ll admit there are things I don’t like about being a parent, but I love Rosebud with all my heart. I love when we laugh together. I love weekend mornings when we can sleep in or snuggle. I love how excited she gets to see me after work. It really brightens my day. I love teaching her things, but she has taught me so much. She tests my patience for sure, but she has shown me how strong I am. She’s my reason for getting out of bed every day.

2. I’m thankful for my family. Especially my mom. We don’t always agree, but she’s been a huge source of support when I’ve really needed it. She’s also my main source of transportation which is not always easy. She takes care of Rosebud when I’m at work and makes sure she gets to and from preschool. I don’t have to pay extraordinary amounts of money for childcare because of her. Not to mention the fact that she loves Rosebud no matter what.

3. I’m thankful for my new niece that I haven’t met yet. She was born premature a couple weeks ago and since she’s been in the hospital, I haven’t been able to meet her. Rosebud and I were sick last week, so we didn’t want to pass our germs on to the baby. Fortunately, she came home a few days ago and we will be meeting her for the first time today. She’ll probably give me baby fever, but that’s a topic for another post.

Couple drinking coffee

4. I’m thankful for my friends. I have a couple of good friends in my life. To protect everyone’s privacy, I won’t mention anyone’s names, but just know that I appreciate all of you whether we’ve met in person or not. One friend, I’ve been writing to for over two years now. Although we’ve never met in person, I consider her one of my best friends and maybe one day one of us will take the trip. There’s Little Guy’s mom who texts me often to check in, has been extremely supportive and helpful with my work and of course brings Little Guy for playdates. Then there are all the others who I talk to less often, but I’m grateful to know them. Recently, someone else has come into my life. While our friendship is brand new and I’m not sure how things will turn out, I appreciate him very much.

5. I’m thankful for my home. Of course I’m grateful that I have a roof over my head, but it is more than that. Rarely have I ever truly felt at home as an adult. I love having my own safe space that I can come to at the end of the day. I can invite people if I want. I can decorate it how I choose to. My home has been a great place for Rosebud as well. She loves it and I can tell it feels like home to her. While there are lots of things I don’t like about the area where I live, I’m thankful to have a wonderful home.

6. I’m grateful for my job as much as I hate to say it. While I’m extremely dissatisfied and that is putting it mildly, it allows me to buy the things I need. There are some wonderful children and coworkers I’ve met over the years and that’s what I have to remember.

7. There is a special baby I met this year. Unfortunately, I only got to spend a couple of months working with him. He is a happy and sweet little boy who I’ll always remember.

19 Things to be Thankful for in 2019

8. I’m thankful for Diamond. Thank you for snuggling with me every day and for always being there.

An older picture of Diamond and Mellow

9. I’m thankful for Mellow. I lost him this year which has been hard. I miss your loud purr, your crazy meows, your snuggles and watching your friendship with Rosebud. I’m so grateful that you were my cat.

10. I’m thankful for books. While I haven’t read as many books this year. I’m grateful for the things that books can teach us or the escape when I want to be somewhere else.

11. I’m thankful for music. I don’t listen to music as much as I used to, but lately I’ve been enjoying finding new songs on Spotify. Music was so important to me when I was a kid. I spent most of the 90’s listening to music. It was always there no matter what. Music was a source of joy and comfort to me during some difficult times.

12. I’m grateful for nature. The beach is my happy place. I love rainy/cloudy days, but enjoy the warm sun as well. Just sitting outside hearing the birds and feeling the breeze is so peaceful. I am fortunate to live in a place where there is always nature around me.

Thanksgiving dinner13. I’m grateful for delicious food. I love to cook, bake and try new recipes. I’m especially for food that others cook for me. It’s a bonus!

14. I’m extremely thankful for technology. When I was going to school in the 90’s, there was some technology, but it wasn’t as advanced as it is today. Back then I would’ve never thought that I’d be able to use the exact same technology as my peers. By the time I started college, I was fortunate to have a laptop with a screen reader and was so grateful that I could blend in. My computer looked the same as everyone else’s. Then when the iPhones started coming out, I couldn’t imagine how I’d ever use a phone with a touch screen. Apple products are amazing and they have accessibility built into them. I didn’t have to spend crazy amounts of money on extra software to get my phone, tablet or pc to work for me. For someone who has had to stand out, it’s wonderful to be on the same playing field with everyone else when it comes to technology.

15. I’m thankful for writing. I love journaling to gain clarity and to preserve memories. I love blogging and the potential to reach so many people. Writing has always been one of my favorite things.

Autumn candle with pumpkins

16. I’m grateful for things that smell good. People find my strong sense of smell to be a pain in the ass. I’ll ask if they can smell something and of course, they never can. I love candles, perfumes and lotions. I have a drawer full of wax melts, but that’s my secret.

17. I’m grateful for soft things. As I sit here, I’m covered with a soft cozy blanket. Diamond and Mellow are soft and cuddly. I have a collection of stuffed animals. I’m really picky about textures, so clothes, blankets and sheets have to have a soft texture that is just right.

18. This is really important. I am thankful for my health. Too often I take it for granted, but I’ve been pretty healthy so far in my life. I’m grateful that I can get up in the morning and exercise. I can work. I can play with Rosebud. Not everyone can easily do these things and that is definitely something I need to be mindful of.

19 Things to be Thankful for in 2019

19. Lastly, I’m grateful for you, my readers. Thank you for reading my blog. While I haven’t found great success, I get a small amount of views each day. My  persistence and love of writing keep my blog going, but it’s the comments from readers that I find the most meaningful. Thank you so much. What are you thankful for this year? Tell me in the comments.

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How To Know When You Need A Break

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you may have noticed that I haven’t been posting regularly in the past couple of weeks. For the past several months, I’ve had posts scheduled for Mondays and Thursdays, but lately I can’t keep up. The ideas haven’t been flowing and I’ve been frustrated with the lack of traffic along with the amount of time I’ve had to devote to my blog. As much as I love writing, I feel like this has been an uphill battle. I still love blogging, but I really need a break. My life is also changing in a lot of ways and I need time to adjust and find a new routine. That being said, I will still post here on the blog. Maybe once a week. Maybe more depending on my mood and how much time I have for creating new content.

How to Know When You Need A Break

I wanted to share how I came to this decision. Maybe there’s something in your life that you need a break from, but you are still unsure. Maybe you need a break altogether or just need to cut back. Here are just a few ways to know when you need a break.

Woman hitting cups

Stress Level

Are you overwhelmed and or stressed? If something is completely stressing you out, then maybe you need a break. If it’s not absolutely necessary, don’t be afraid to stop whatever it is. Maybe you took on too many projects. Maybe you want to declutter your whole home, but have no idea where to start. Maybe you are saying yes to too many people. Whatever it is, step back and ask yourself, is this essential to my everyday life?

If cutting it out altogether isn’t an option or if you start to feel guilt, the nest step is figuring out how to make the task more manageable. If you need to declutter your home, start with one room. If that is too much, do one shelf or drawer. Then keep working at it a little each day. If it’s blogging related, can you outsource some of these tasks? Can you hire a virtual assistant to handle your Pinterest or other social media? How about getting some guest posts if writing content isn’t your strong suit? In my case, I am not able to hire out any of these tasks, so my only option is to change my posting schedule for the time being, but I’m okay with that.

Women taking a break together

Relationships

The next question to ask is how is this thing impacting others in your life? I know I haven’t had much extra time since I started blogging almost two years ago. I work on the blog each night and constantly throughout the day. I’m always participating in blogging threads on social media, trying to keep up with Pinterest, coming up with blog topics, finding images etc. If I don’t get my posts done on time, I will work on the blog early in the morning as well. Sometimes, it’s way too much. It doesn’t leave much time for myself or my daughter. On the weekends, I write my posts for the week, but I can’t get it all done in the evenings, so that only leaves the day time when I should be playing with Rosebud. It makes me feel guilty because I want to be successful with this blog, but I want to spend time with Rosebud as well. What is more important? Obviously, it’s Rosebud. She’s only little once and I don’t want to regret not spending enough time with her. I may not even have this blog in the future, so while it’s important to me right now, it might not always be. While my blog is tied in with my long-term goals, it’s not essential in this moment. When you are thinking of changing something in your life, ask yourself if it will get you closer to achieving your long-term goals. If not, then you have your answer.

Woman relaxing on beach

Self Care

There’s that all too common phrase, self-care. It gets thrown around a lot, but it is important. you definitely need a break if whatever it is you are doing stops you from taking care of yourself. Even if you are busy, you need at least a few minutes each day to recharge. When I stopped to think about it, working on the blog has taken up so much of my free time. For the past two years, I’ve barely written in my journal, stopped doing most of my other hobbies and don’t get enough sleep. It has felt good to do other things again. I’ve actually been able to write in my journal, watch some new tv shows and have started a new friendship. It’s been nice to do something different. I’ve also needed to focus energy on my future home business which has been a huge factor in my break from the blog.

Woman sitting by river

How does it feel?

Do you feel energized? Do you love what you are doing? Are you excited about it? Does it bring you joy? If your answer is yes to these questions, keep doing what you are doing. Does it make you feel depleted, overwhelmed, tired, down or just plain bored? If you answered yes to those questions, it’s time to change it up. If you are blogging, maybe you need to find a new topic that you are passionate about. If you are still passionate about your topic, but just need some new inspiration, a break out in the real world can do that. If you are doing something other than blogging, you can ask yourself these same questions to figure out what you need to do.

It’s often overlooked, but really take the time to notice how your body is feeling. I’ve been feeling drained and practicing some self-care has helped. What does self-care look like for you? Does it consist of a warm bubble bath or an early morning run? Self-care is different for everyone, so try a variety of things to see what works best for you.

How to Know When You Need A Break

Now that I have some of my struggles with blogging out in the open, I feel less guilt about not posting. It’s okay to step back. It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to drop something altogether. Most things are not  permanent decisions. To summarize, here are some questions to ask yourself before taking that much needed break. Is it causing too much stress in your life? Is it negatively impacting your relationships? Do you have time for self-care? Is it essential for achieving your long-term goals? Finally, how does it make you feel in your body? The answers to those questions can help you take the next steps and make the decision that is right for you. Are you struggling with burnout or knowing when to take a break? Tell me in the comments.

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30 Journal Prompts for Gratitude

Fall is officially here and it will be Thanksgiving before you know it. Although Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful, we should be practicing gratitude every day. Just noting what you are grateful for each day can help boost your happiness and takes less than five minutes. There actually are several scientifically proven benefits of gratitude. Most people start by being grateful for the big things like having a roof over their head or spending time with loved ones. There is the small stuff too like breathing in the fresh air outside or a positive interaction you may have with a stranger. Too often, we all take the wonderful things in our lives for granted which is why I’ve made a list of journal prompts for gratitude to help us all stop and remember everything good in our lives.

30 Journal Prompts for Gratitude pin

Gratitude for Others

1. Who are you grateful to know and why?

2. What is one nice thing someone did for you today?

3. What is one nice thing you did for someone else today?

4. What traits do you admire in others?

5. How are you able to help others?

6. What’s one thing that someone has given you that you are grateful for?

7. What are you thankful for in your community?

8. What are your favorite traditions?

9. Who has had the biggest influence on you?

10. What am I able to offer to others?

Gratitude for Yourself

1. Make a list of things you are grateful For at this moment.

2. Make a list of things you love about yourself.

3. What experiences have made you a stronger or better person?

4. When were the happiest times in your life?

5. What would you like to attract in your life?

6. Make a list of things that make you happy and keep adding to it.

7. What have you accomplished so far in life?

8. What are you looking forward to?

9. What place are you most grateful for?

10. Is there a book, movie or song that has really inspired you?

11. What’s one mistake or failure that you are grateful for?

12. What do you appreciate in nature?

13. What do you like about your job?

14. What quotes inspire you?

15. What’s the funniest thing you saw or heard today?

16. What makes you smile?

17. What do you take for granted?

18. What material things are you grateful for?

19. What life lessons are you thankful for?

20. What was one big life changing moment for you?

30 journal prompts for gratitude pin

Are there any other gratitude prompts you use in your journal practice? Tell me in the comments.

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55 Journaling Prompts for Moms

As I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts, I love journaling. I find that journaling has a lot of benefits. It helps clear the mind, look at things from a different perspective and lets you reflect on your past. It’s a great way of keeping track of your goals, remembering dreams, showing gratitude, preserving memories and if you are a writer, it’s one way to create content. Journaling helps me relax before I go to bed, but I’ve been so focused on this blog, I haven’t been journaling as much. That’s something I want to change because I was thinking about how I’ve been writing to preserve memories for Rosebud. When she was a baby, I wrote so many things down, but for the past year, I’ve definitely been slacking which brings me to the topic of journal prompts for moms. I’ll divide them up into categories and hopefully this will help all of us to start or to continue our journaling practice.

55 Journaling Prompts for Moms pin

Prompts to Preserve Memories

  1. What was your child’s birth story?
  1. What was your family life like growing up?
  1. What lessons did your parents teach you?
  1. What do you wish they would’ve done differently?
  1. What have been the most memorable experiences so far with your children?
  1. Make a list of firsts and write the stories behind them. First words, first food, first steps, first birthday party, first day of school, first night away from home etc.
  1. What was your first memory from your childhood?
  1. Where was your favorite place as a child and where is your favorite place now?
  1. Who were your childhood friends?
  1. What are your child’s favorite toys?
  1. What were your favorite toys as a child?
  1. Did you have any childhood pets? If so, what were they like?
  1. Make a list of things you love about your children.

Collection of journals

Exploring the Future

  1. What are your hopes and dreams?
  1. What are your short-term and long-term goals?
  1. What is the most important lesson you want your children to learn?
  1. Write a letter to your older self.
  1. Write letters to your children.
  1. Where do you want your life to be in ten years?
  1. What are your hopes and dreams for your children?
  2. Woman writing in diary

Self Discovery

  1. If you could have any career, what would you do?
  1. What places would you like to see?
  1. If you won ten million dollars, what would you do?
  1. Who do you look up to and why?
  1. What relaxes you?
  1. Make a list of things that bring you joy.
  1. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
  1. What do you love about yourself?
  1. If you’re in a relationship, what do you love about your partner?
  1. If you are not in a relationship, what do you look for in a partner?
  1. What are your biggest secrets?
  1. What is your biggest regret?
  1. What does your perfect day look like?
  1. What new activities or hobbies would you like to try?
  1. What does self-care mean to you?

Pregnant woman writing in journalPrompts for Daily Life

  1. What are you grateful for today?
  1. What happened today that made you smile?
  1. What was the worst thing about today?
  1. What’s on the menu for the day or week?
  1. Write a story with your child.
  1. What conversations did you have with your children today?
  1. Is there something about today that you wish you could have done differently?
  1. What is your morning routine like?
  1. What is your fitness routine like?
  1. Did you have any dreams that you remember?
  2. 55 Journaling prompts for moms pin

Free Writing Prompts

Some people use a word as a prompt and just write whatever comes to mind. It’s a stream of consciousness exercise. I’ll use some words that may pertain to motherhood.

  1. Motherhood,
  1. Growing,
  1. Working,
  1. Change,
  1. Time,
  1. Happiness,
  1. Expectations,
  1. Wonder,
  1. Plans,
  1. Wishes.

Do you have any go to journaling prompts when you get stuck? Tell me in the comments. If you are looking for a new journal, here are some different styles to choose from. Happy journaling!



If you keep a digital journal like me, check out my favorite journaling app.

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Affordable Self-care for Moms

Today, I have a wonderful guest post for you by Andee Schmidt who is working on her new blog. When it is up and running, I will add the link to this post. I often talk about personal development and the importance of self-care for moms, so I was happy when Andee approached me to share this post on affordable self-care for mothers. Thank you, Andee for writing this post and sharing with my readers. If you’re on a budget and are in need of some affordable self-care ideas, you’ll definitely want to check out Andee’s self-care suggestions.

Affordable Self-care for moms pin

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard the term self-care being floated about. Many times this idea conjures up a “treat yourself” mentality of shopping splurges and face masks, but that’s not always the case. Self-care can be accessible.

But, as mothers, it might feel like there’s barely any time –or money– to focus on you. Read on in this list of affordable self-care ideas to find out how mothers can prioritize themselves, because health shouldn’t be a luxury.

Woman sitting on a bath tub with rose petals.

Self-Care for Mothers

Moms have the toughest job in the world. You’re probably feeling overworked and overtired, and that’s precisely why it’s important that you take care of both your mental and physical wellbeing.

Ultimately, self-care is the practice of taking action to improve your own health. Honoring your body, mind, and spirit will help you activate the best version of yourself you can be by improving your physical, mental and/or emotional health.

Although it probably sounds impossible to prioritize an hour for just you, treating yourself to time alone has been proven to improve overall wellbeing. In fact, according to VeryWellMind, it can even make you a better caregiver, because it reduces the feeling of burn out.

Free and Affordable Options

Woman painting at easel

Flex your creativity

You don’t need to be artistic to benefit from an artistic hobby. In fact, the pleasure from art usually comes from the process of creation, not necessarily the final outcome. Whether it’s painting, knitting, drawing or sculpting, budgeting some time per week for a creative hobby can have very positive results. Finding your groove with something artsy is a great way to get into a flow state and let your mind relax.

Remember, coloring books aren’t only for children anymore, but you can always have your kids join the fun and color together!

Woman meditating on beach

Relax your mind

Meditation can be intimidating. I don’t know how to do it well or I get distracted are common concerns of those new to the practice. But, here’s the thing, meditating is just about listening to your thoughts and being present in the moment. You can even meditate while taking a shower or while winding down for bed.

Like anything else, meditation takes practice; but here’s a list of good –and free– applications that can get you started: The Mindfulness App, Headspace and Calm.

Become a yogi

You don’t need a large budget for yoga: as long as you have comfortable clothing and a nice quiet space for your practice, you’ll be good to go.

There’s no need to stress about flexibility, stamina or fitness levels. Yoga is more about the mind than the body: learn to be present and mindful of what your body is capable of without worrying too much about perfection. Plus, there are even positions that allow you to lay flat on the floor–mini nap anyone?

Check out some online tutorials or cheap or discounted beginner classes that you can use to get started.

Woman reading a book at a cafe

Curl up with a book

Oftentimes, reading is something that falls to the backburner when you have so many other things to worry about. However, reading can be excellent for self-care. Reading is a relaxing activity that helps you take a break from the stress of everyday. Plus, with the boom of audio books you can even read while taking care of your other tasks.

If you’re interested in learning more about self-care, you might want to start by reading some of the books on this list, or these, if you want to read about motherhood.

Woman walking in the park with stroller

Take a walk

The good thing about walking? It’s free. And you can do it basically anywhere. Pop in your headphones, or put the kids in a stroller and just walk.

As long as you take the time to think about yourself and take care of your mind, you’ll be practicing some form of self-care. Plus, studies have shown that spending time outdoors can reduce mental fatigue, stress and elevate your mood.
Self-care for moms on a budget pin

Finding Time for Self-Care

Now this is all peachy… but, many of you might be thinking: how do I get enough time alone to do that?! Prioritizing yourself can be tough when you feel that every second is going to taking care of others. It’s certainly not easy, but here’s a list of quick tips you can use to find the time alone you need:

Occupy the kids

Use the time when your kids are busy as time to squeeze in your self-care. Play dates, nap time and after-school activities are great ways to both entertain your kids and get some free time for yourself.

Put it on your calendar

If you make alone time sporadic, it will feel abnormal for your family. But if you do it weekly and let your kids and partner know this is “mom’s time”, it will become part of their routine and yours!

Ask for help

The truth is, getting alone time while being a mother is nearly impossible, but don’t be afraid to ask for help. Make a plan with your partner or anyone in you support system so you can ensure you are getting what you need. Lean on the people in your life. Also, if you are able, there’s nothing wrong with hiring a babysitter to get a few hours to yourself.

Many of these activities can also be done with the whole family: take your kids out for a walk, to the movies, or the park and you will soon find yourself with time on your hands to think. But if you are able to get some precious alone time, don’t feel guilty for enjoying it. Remember, moms need to be taken care of too!

About the author:

Andee Schmidt

Andee is a recent college graduate from Arizona State University with a love of writing, the outdoors, and funky cafes. You can usually find her hiking or planning her next trip. She is passionate about traveling, frugal living, her family, and the perfect cup of coffee. She is the writer behind the blog : xx . Find her on Instagram as @andee_schmidt or Twitter @andeeschmidt.
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Looking For My Tribe

I’m writing this post because of situations I’ve had recently both with coworkers and old friends. One reason I have created this blog is to talk about some of the difficult issues that come up surrounding motherhood. For me, isolation is one of those issues. To be honest, I’ve never really fit in anywhere. I’ve always had trouble meeting people and making friends. Maybe it’s my shy and introverted personality. Maybe it’s my visual impairment that puts people off. Maybe it’s another flaw in my personality or maybe it’s the world we live in today. Whatever the reason, I’ve never really found my tribe.

Looking For My Tribe. (Group of friends pin)

This past week, I reached out to an old friend. We exchanged a couple of messages, but the conversation fizzled out pretty quickly. It ended with me asking about his kids and how his work was going. Whenever I hear from this person, there are always excuses about how busy he is, but it’s clear he’s just too busy for me. It’s like that with most interactions I have with people. I make all the effort to keep in touch, but get very little in return.

Upset girl standing away from group of gossuping friends.

The Isolation

I hear this from a lot of adults. They feel isolated. It’s hard to make friends and it’s hard to see the ones we have regularly. Another friend and I were talking the other day about how isolating parenting can be. She told me that many of her friends had kids young, so now they are in a completely different stage of parenting. They don’t want to deal with the birthday parties, the baby showers etc. It’s harder to find things in common. I miss the ease of childhood friendships. Kids bond over playing the same sports, liking the same music or it could just be as simple as deciding they will be friends and then sticking to it. Then we all grow up. Now that we have smart phones and the internet, we seemed to have forgotten how to interact with the people around us.

Are we passing our isolation on to our children?

Two children playing with water ball

Awkwardness

Rosebud is social by nature. She still has trouble with sharing her toys, but she generally loves to be around other kids. The thing is, she doesn’t have much of an opportunity for that since she is not in childcare. I want her summers to be fun and memorable, so I took her on a few field trips last year. For starters, I took her to the library where they have a play room. Presumably, children can play together there. We spent some time looking at books and playing and hoped another kid would show up. Well, a father and his two kids eventually did, but he sat with his kids outside the room and was clearly waiting for us to leave. It was awkward, so we left.

Mother carrying toddler

Hovering

Our next trip was to a small children’s museum. Honestly, it was just a larger preschool classroom that advertises itself as a museum to get funding for their program. Rosebud had a good time playing with the different toys there, but I hoped she’d get to play with other kids. There were a couple other kids her age, but instead of encouraging the kids to play together, the parents hovered and followed the kids from place to place. When I was a kid, the kids played together and the parents would talk. This was true even in new places with new kids. Especially if the place was relatively small and you could see the kids from where ever you were.

Two little boys trying to take a truck away from one another.

Aggression

Our third trip was to a larger museum for children where Rosebud’s favorite thing was a room full of blocks and balls. There was a boy around her age who was there with his brother. They were building a tower with the blocks and then filling it with balls. Rosebud noticed this and started gathering balls for them, but whenever she brought balls over to them, the smaller boy would tell her to go away and that they weren’t playing with her. She was too young at the time to feel the rejection and kept filling buckets of balls for them.

Are We Isolating Our Children (pin)

After a while, we went to another room that had different kinds of tunnels with balls. They also had an exhibit where you could keep balls floating in the air. It was basically a cone with air being forced out of it. Anyway, there was another boy around her age and she noticed his dad bouncing balls over the cone. He could keep several going at once which made her laugh. When she noticed the boy, she went over to stand next to him. There was plenty of room for them both to play with the ball machines, but the boy kept hitting her and pushing her away no matter what she did. I kept having her move away from him, but she really want to play with him. After a little while, we decided to leave because I didn’t want the boy to keep being mean to her. Maybe he was the one who should’ve left, but I didn’t want to cause a scene or try to have an awkward conversation with his dad. However I told Rosebud to tell the boy that she didn’t like it when he hit or pushed her. I also told her to stay away from him and that she didn’t have to be around people who were mean to her. While hitting and pushing is developmentally appropriate to a point, as a childcare provider, I’m seeing an over abundance of aggressiveness. That seems to be the first response to everything. Many kids seem to get physical without remorse and I’m convinced that there’s more involved than kids just being kids.Sleeping baby holding mother’s hand.

Insecurity

Then one day at our neighborhood playground, Rosebud was enjoying the slide when a father and his four-year-old daughter showed up. While Rosebud was excited to see another kid, I couldn’t wait to leave. I had a quick conversation with the father and we left. While this is what I complain about, I couldn’t help but feel like I needed to get away. First, I wasn’t sure if they wanted the playground to themselves. Then all these things ran through my mind. What would I talk to this guy about while our kids played? What if Rosebud did something to the other child that I didn’t see? What if his daughter did something to Rosebud? What if I had to chase her if she ran off the playground? Sometimes she’d run off and I had to run after her. I didn’t want to do that in front this man who I didn’t know. I didn’t want him to notice my visual impairment and think that I was less of a parent. I didn’t want this stranger to see me make a mistake, so it felt safer for me to leave. Then I wonder if I denied Rosebud an opportunity to make a friend. Will I have to keep doing that?

Looking For My Tribe (Friends eating desserts at cafe pin)

Final Thoughts and

Questions

This brings me back to the struggle I have with making friends. Am I unintentionally passing it on to her? Before she was born, I thought it’d be easier to make friends as a mom. I thought there’d be play groups and more ways to connect. Of course we’d have something huge in common, being a mother. Then real life happens, insecurities pop up and then motherhood becomes more isolating than ever. Most of the play groups or children’s activities in my area are during the day. Childrens activities and play groups are great places for making mom friends if you are a sahm or have a flexible work schedule. Unfortunately, I’m a working mom with a standard work schedule, so it’s not possible to attend. There are also the logistics of transportation which makes things even more complicated and I usually decide it’s not worth climbing the mountain.

Since I haven’t figured this out yet, I’m posting some questions to you. How do you make friends as a mom? Do you feel isolated or have you found your tribe? How do you facilitate your children making friends? Let me know in the comments.

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5 Ways Motherhood has Changed Me

I want to wish all the mothers out there a happy Mothers Day. For this year’s Mothers Day post, I’m sharing five of the ways that motherhood has changed me.

Before I became a mother, I had all these ideas of what parenting would be like. I care for and teach children every day, so I thought it had prepared me and in some ways, it did. I was comfortable with bottle feeding, changing diapers and soothing crying babies. I had learned about the value of giving children choices and setting appropriate limits. I had discovered cool toys and activities that I wanted my children to have. I saw wonderful children’s books that I wanted to read to them.

5 Ways Motherhood Has Changed Me. Crawling baby pin

The thing with childcare is that the children leave at the end of the day. I didn’t have to deal with the sleepless nights, the endless work and the joys and challenges of parenting. I hadn’t grasped the overwhelming idea of having another human being truly depending on you for everything. The instant I found out I was pregnant, my life had completely changed. Here are just a few of the ways motherhood has changed me.

Mother pushing baby in stroller while checking her phone.

More Empathetic

Becoming a mother has given me a different perspective and makes me a better childcare provider. I am much more empathetic towards other parents. I used to be really judgmental. I thought I’d be one of those parents who wouldn’t let their kids watch much tv. I was going to bottle feed and who cares. My baby wasn’t going to have a pacifier. My baby would sleep in her own crib. You get the picture. My reality after Rosebud was born was completely different. During my pregnancy, I had done some research and decided to breast-feed. My baby eventually got a pacifier because I was tired of being one. She slept with me because she refused to sleep by herself in her crib. My choices were sleep or insanity. I chose sleep. Unfortunately, she gets more screen time than I’d like. I need to get things done around the house and sometimes I just need a breather and it keeps her occupied.

Now when other parents come in with these struggles, I understand. When moms come in with really small bottles of milk because it’s all they’ve pumped, I can empathize. When they want their babies pace fed, I get it. When a single mom lets her kid watch tv every night because she needs to get stuff done or just relax, I’m right there with her. When a parent doesn’t want to hear that something is wrong with her child, I completely understand. While the educator part of me wants to help that child as soon as possible, the parent part empathizes with the denial and wishing it wasn’t true.

Boy carefully climbs a climber on the playground.

More Cautious

Before Rosebud, I was more likely to step out of my comfort zone and take risks, but I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more anxious now. I worry about everything, especially the future. I remember my high school days where I was excited to be going off to college. I went across the country to start over in a totally new place. I was more confident, more independent and full of hope.When things didn’t work out there, I was crushed, but I picked myself up and returned to a local college. After lots of volunteering, I eventually got a job and then my life basically stayed the same for several years until Rosebud was born. Back in high school I did some traveling as well and that stopped.

I don’t remember the last time I went anywhere alone. I’m less confident about applying for jobs, meeting new people or trying new things. I have Rosebud to think about now and I think about how everything I do might effect her. I admit, I can go overboard. I’ve tried to make a lot of changes, but I’m not as confident as I was before. My anxiety plays a big part in that. I am a work in progress. Pushing through the hard stuff is an important thing that we all need to model for our children.

A hand catches an hour glass in mid air.

More Aware of Time

After I became a mom, I suddenly realized, I didn’t have any time to myself anymore. I insisted that I’d be showering everyday and I never gave that up. I needed that to feel like myself, so when Rosebud was a baby, I put her in the bouncer in the bathroom while I showered. I heard other mothers say how they could barely get a shower in and I decided that wasn’t going to be me. My time slipped away in other ways. I barely could write in my journal anymore. I rarely watch tv now. My crafting hobbies have pretty much disappeared. There are a ton of cleaning projects I’d like to tackle, but when? My time is divided three ways. There’s Rosebud, my day job and the blog. Other than that, there’s a few hours of sleep in between. I will never take good sleep or free time for granted again. When I have time to write in my journal or take a ceramics class, I enjoy it so much more now.

Happy couple looking at their baby.

I Will Not Settle

When I found out I was pregnant, I decided that I could never settle. This applies to all areas of my life. I couldn’t settle for a bad relationship because I didn’t want my daughter to have bad relationships as an adult. I want her to see a healthy relationship. Two people that treat each other with respect, looking out for each other and supporting each other. I didn’t want her to grow up seeing constant fighting or a relationship that was distant and unhappy. I want Rosebud’s childhood to be filled with happy memories, not painful ones.

I can’t settle in my career. I need to find something I truly enjoy. Childcare has taken it’s tole since Rosebud was born. While I have become a more empathetic childcare provider, I have become a far less patient one. My exhaustion of 24-7 childcare, office politics and my wish to be home with Rosebud have pushed me to the tipping point. That’s why I’ve been working so hard to find something else. I want Rosebud to know that she doesn’t have to settle either. It’s hard when you have to balance responsibility with what you know is right in your heart.

Colorful blocks spell out, trust yourself.

I Trust Myself

I’ve heard a lot of parenting advice over the past three years and you know where I’ve found the solutions? From my own gut instincts. Since becoming a mother, I have learned to trust myself. People said I was creating bad habits by letting Rosebud sleep with me. At fifteen months, she transitioned into her own bed and has been a great sleeper. In my heart I knew she was ready. I followed my own instincts and it worked out. The same went for potty training. I got endless advice and pressure and I tried so many things. Eventually I gave up. Yes, I gave up. I said, we aren’t doing this right now. I told her that when she was ready to use the potty to let me know. A few weeks later, she came to me and said she wanted to use big girl panties. A week later, she told me she didn’t want the night time diaper any more. She’s been dry ever since. I always thought she’d do it when she was ready and she did. I felt guilty for not following my instincts and caving in from outside pressures, but I learned an important lesson.

I’ve applied this to other areas of my life. If I get a weird vibe about a situation, I trust myself instead of trying to make excuses or staying to be polite. I haven’t always been good at advocating for myself, but if something is wrong, I am starting to speak up about it. It’s amazing how we get conditioned to ignore our inner voice. We need that guidance, especially when we are parents.

5 Ways Motherhood Has Changed Me, mother kisses baby pin.

Motherhood has changed me in so many ways. Everything from simple daily routines to being more emotional about certain things. Some changes are for good and others not so much, but I wouldn’t change a thing about Rosebud. I’m so glad she came into my life. How has being a parent changed you? Tell me in the comments.

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The Ultimate HomeMaking Bundle for 2019

For a limited time, the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is available!

Disclosure: I am an affiliate with Ultimate Bundles and if you make a purchase through the links in this post, I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you.

Ultimate Homemaking Bundle pin

What’s Inside?

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is perfect for busy moms. Whether you work from home, work outside the home or if homemaking is your primary job, there is something in this bundle for you. The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is jam packed with resources to help you care for yourself, your home and family. Are you in need of good parenting resources? The bundle includes Emotional Overload: 3 Steps To Fewer Tantrums, Greater Connections & More Cooperation

by Rachel Norman among other parenting resources. Are you in need of recipes or meal planning ideas? You can find that in the bundle as well with The Humbled Homemaker’s Meal Planning Printables Bundle

by Erin Odom. If you are a blogger and need some help making Pinterest work for you, HerPaperRoute Guide To Pinterest Marketing

by Chelsea Clarke is also a part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.

Family game night.

Even More Resources

As you can see, this bundle covers a variety of topics because we wear a variety of hats! We need to take care of ourselves, our families and our homes. The resources in this bundle are filled with strategies to help you do that. Focus on yourself with Courage Against Uncertainty, Habit Tracker Printables and the Lean Fit Home Workout Guide. Support your family with Command Center for Kids, Mom’s Bff Planner, Creating Family Vision Boards and Date Night Bucket Lists. Take care of your home using the Declutter Your House in a Weekend, the Homekeeping & Cleaning Kit and much more.

Home decor items on a table.

A Great Value

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is a great value! This amazing library of courses and E-books are worth over $2200, but you can get it now for $39.97 for a limited time. The sale ends May 6, 2019. Click here to get the full list of included resources and fore more information about how the bundle works. The homemaking bundle was released just in time for Mothers Day and could make a great gift for the busy moms in your life.

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My Favorite Things for March

I want to share some of my favorite things and accomplishments for the month of March. This is something new I plan on doing at the end of every month from now on. Writing down my accomplishments will keep me accountable and moving forward and why not share some of my favorite things? You might like them as well. For this month, I have a book, a recipe, a perfume and some articles to pass along.

My Favorite Things Spring PinAccomplishments

I’ll start with my wins for the month of March. At the end of February, I started using my Pinterest account which had no views. As of this moment, there are 39,000 views. I know that’s a relatively small number for Pinterest, but it’s just the beginning. I think it’s good considering the endless accessibility issues I have with Pinterest, my limited ability to create eye catching photos and my lack of knowledge on how Pinterest works. I have been reading and researching which has given me a better understanding of strategies for using Pinterest. It’s a work in progress, but what isn’t? My second win and one of my goals for 2019 was to reactivate my Amazon associates account. I’ve been working hard to update older posts as well as create new content. Now the trick is making those sales. My third accomplishment was getting approved for ShareASale. That will be my next project.

Book

As I’ve talked about on the blog before, I always have an Audible book that I’m listening to. Earlier this month, I read the Ex-Wife by Jess Ryder. It was one of those books that sounded kind of interesting, but I wasn’t too sure about it. I found it in a two books for one credit deal. After the first couple of chapters, I really wanted to know what happened next. I listened to most of it in one weekend. I won’t give anything away, but the ending seemed to be an opening for a second book, but who knows. I’ve read a lot of books lately where loose ends aren’t tied up.

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks
Macaroni and cheese

Recipe

Unfortunately, I did not take a picture when I cooked this, but I’m not a food photographer anyway. This Easy Instant Pot Macaroni and Cheese is so simple to make. It tastes good. Rosebud loved it and that is saying something. She’s going through an extremely picky eating phase. The best part is it takes about ten minutes. The other great thing is you make it in the instant pot. I love having only one pot instead of a bunch of pots and pans to wash. The macaroni comes out perfect and it is very cheesy. If you try it, let me know what you think.

Perfume bottles and roses

Perfume

I ordered some makeup and got a sample of Viva LA Juicy Noir by Juicy Couture. I quickly used it all and then had to order more. It’s hard to describe the scent. It’s kind of fruity, but it’s not over the top sweet. It’s not too strong unless you use more than you should. I normally stick with one or two scents that I use most of the time, but this one has become one of my favorites. What are your perfumes that you absolutely love?

A mac book on a desk next to a cup of coffee.

Articles

Okay, so I have several for this month. I couldn’t narrow it down to just one, but they all serve different purposes.

This first article is about raising daughters and gender stereotypes. It’s well written and reminds us what is important about raising a girl. Click here to read, The Trappings of Girlhood.

I saw this cool article from Whimsyroo with a list of bath time activities. I know Rosebud gets bored with the same bath toys and this post has some great ideas to make bath time more fun. I love this blog and all the fun activities she posts. Click this link for Creative Bath Time Activities for Kids.

I am a big fan of journaling and one of the benefits of journaling is gratitude. If you journal about the things you are grateful for, it can boost your mood and if you are a believer in the law of attraction, gratitude will bring you more things to be grateful for. That being said, listing the same five things you are grateful for can be a little boring and not seem worth the effort, but Monica from Mindfully Monica explains how to start a gratitude journal that actually works.

My Favorite Things bulletin board pin

Full disclosure, I saw this one a little before March started, but I have to share it. I’m featured on this post from GROWMOMMY.COM! Rosebud’s antics earned me a spot in this list of 10 Hilarious Reasons for Toddler Tantrums.

This post from Be Anxious About Nothing brings to light the very important and overlooked issues of disabled domestic abuse. The post was written in defense of Dr. Phil and his recent show with a couple where the man is disabled and the woman is not. I knew nothing about it until seeing this post, but there has been outrage online due to the show’s supposed ablism. I say supposed because I have not seen it and don’t want to comment without viewing it first. However, I will share this post because disabled people are more likely to be the victims of abuse and that has to stop.

This final link is to a Ted talk about being a good listener. Too often we forget to really take the time to listen to someone. Sometimes all someone needs is to be heard.

How to Listen Better – Tips From a Deaf Guy, from Stephen O’Keefe.

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