Parenting

Why You Should Say Your Sorry to Your Children

June 9, 2020

Have you ever had one of those days? You know, the days where your kids won’t stop asking you for things. The days when you try to hide anywhere where you can lock the door to have a moment of peace. You may be in your bathroom just trying to do your business with someone knocking at the door. Maybe you’re trying to sneak a snack in your pantry closet with someone in hot pursuit wanting to know what you are doing. Yes, I’m speaking from experience.

What about the days when you are on edge and when your prescious little one asks you for something one too many times? When that happens, how do you handle it? Well, I’ll admit, there are definitely times when I lose my patience. Every mom knows that it’s unavoidable. At one point, you will snap at your children or make other cringe worthy mistake which brings me to the original question, why should we say sorry to our kids?

We are all human beings

This is common sense, but there are many parents out there who don’t make a point of apologizing to their children when they make a mistake. They feel that they are the parent, they are in charge and children should just comply. Everyone makes mistakes, so I’m not sure what is behind this thinking. Maybe it’s fear of losing some of that power/control but I believe that when you make a mistake and learn from it, you have more knowledge and power than when you started.

Also, as human beings, we all want to be treated with respect and even though our children are little, they are beings with needs, wants and feelings who are taking everything in and learning how our world works. Don’t we want that world to have as much kindness and fairness as possible?

It is good role modeling

Much of what our children learn is from what they see us doing. As their parents, we obviously have a huge influence in the way they think and feel about themselves and others. How can we expect them to be able to accept responsibility for their mistakes and actions if we don’t show them?

This past weekend has been extremely rough at my house. There has been lack of sleep, extreme clinginess and everything goes in one ear and out the other. I hate to say it, but my patience has gone completely out the window. After hours of hearing mommy, mommy, mommy, play with me now, make this for me now, turn on the tv now, I want this, I want that, I snapped. I was exhausted from trying to do small things like putting dishes away, make dinner, getting dressed etc and being constantly interrupted. This was in between hours of play time, so Rosebud was getting plenty of attention as I have been trying to limit the time I spend working. When she came in the kitchen while I was making dinner demanding chocolate milk, I lost it. I yelled at her to stop and leave me alone. I just wanted a moment of peace. I told her to just go watch tv and to stop bothering me.

About five minutes later, she came back and asked for a hug. Of course, I gave her a hug. In that five minutes, I felt horrible about yelling at her. Even though I didn’t say anything crazy, she only had a small request and I handled it poorly, so I apologized. I told her that I was sorry for yelling at her and that it wasn’t a nice thing to do. I explained that when she is constantly asking for something while I’m busy it is really frustrating. I told her that I love playing with her, but sometimes I need to do other things that are important as well. In turn, she said she was sorry and we agreed we were still friends. It’s a little ritual we have.

The Results

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first parenting mistake I’ve made and it won’t be the last. It’s also not the first time I’ve apologized to Rosebud. Even if I don’t do it right away, I may say something when we’re having snuggle time before bed. Now, she does the same thing. If she thinks about something and feels bad for something she’s done, she tells me.

For example, we have a strawberry plant and last year, she ate the strawberries as soon as they popped up. She didn’t even wait until they were red, so we kept telling her to wait and let them grow, so that they are edible. Rosebud has an amazing memory, so during our quiet time yesterday, she told me she was sorry for eating all the strawberries last year and that she would let them grow big this year. This is a funny story, but she does this with serious issues as well. She’ll apologize for hitting, breaking toys, not cleaning up etc. It leads to some really thoughtful and wonderful discussions.

This goes to show that even on crappy days when we feel like the worst moms ever, we are actually not. Yes, we make mistakes, but it’s how we handle them that really matters. When our children grow up, will they remember how we yelled at them about chocolate milk or will they remember that we snuggled with them before bed. Will they remember when you hid in the bathroom to get away from them or will they remember what you taught them about caring about the feelings of others? They will remember that we valued them as human beings. That we cared for them and loved them even when it was hard. Even when we are grumpy, make mistakes or feel like we haven’t done anything right, our kids forgive us and love us unconditionally. That’s what makes this mom thing all worth it.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it. Thank you.

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Equality

I Stand With You

June 3, 2020

For days, I’ve been wondering what to say. I just haven’t had the words, but there’s also a part of me that doesn’t want to get it wrong. I want to be supportive and create a safe space, but I worry about saying the wrong thing and hurting people further. I mean well in my heart, but I’m not a person of color, so I can’t speak to that reality. If I say nothing, that may be taken as a sign that I am okay with racism and police brutality, so it’s better to use my voice as a blogger to contribute to making the world a better place. As a coach, it is my responsibility to make my clients feel safe and respected. If a woman of color finds my blog, I want her to know that she is welcomed and accepted here for who she is.

As I have been watching the events of the past week unfold, I have become deeply saddened and appalled by the racism in our country and the lack of leadership and kindness from the powers that be. The division of our country is heartbreaking to watch, but even more than that, it’s heartbreaking to see the pain of people who have been oppressed and under valued for generations. It’s heartbreaking to see people get murdered needlessly because of the color of their skin. My thoughts are with those who are no longer with us because of police brutality. I hope their families can somehow find peace.

I hope anyone reading this sees that I’m coming from a place of love and compassion. Not only for people of color, but for humanity itself. I will acknowledge that I’m white and have no idea what it’s like to be a person of color and never will, but there are definitely pieces of this that I understand from a human perspective, loving people of color as well as being apart of a group who has been oppressed and under valued by society. However, I won’t share my stories now because it is not the time. It is time to listen to our friends and community members of color. It is time that their voices be heard. It is time for real change. We can’t go back to normal before the pandemic. That normal is just too scary for too many people in our country.

Black Lives Matter

As white people, we have to examine why we feel triggered or threatened when we hear a black person say black lives matter. Just because a black person tells you that their lives matter doesn’t mean that yours don’t. It means that we all matter equally or at least we should. At the same time, there is wide spread police brutality. Yes, it happens to white people too and it shouldn’t be tolerated in any form. The police are supposed to serve and protect. This is something we need to address as a society. I know this is uncomfortable, but stay with me. We definitely need to work on this together, but first we need to start healing the pain that is right in front of us at this moment.

Justice for George Floyd

Right now, there is outrage over the murder of George Floyd and the others before him. Emotions are running high and people have been traumatized. Lives have been lost, businesses have been lost and peace of mind has been lost. Hatred is spreading like wildfire. The thing is, we may be feeling unsafe now, but can you imagine feeling like that every time you step out of your home for years on end?

Show Compassion and Understanding

This may be a bad analogy, but if a friend comes to you crying, heartbroken and in pain, do you tell them, “my pain is just as great as your pain.” No, you’d sit with them. You’d care for them. You’d lift them up with kind words and or actions. In return, when you are in pain, they’d sit with you and care for you. A level of trust has been built. Then comes the time to bond over shared experiences. Traumatic or otherwise. This is what we need to do for people of color right now. We need to listen and be supportive because as white people, we will never fully understand their reality.

We Need Each Other

The truth is we all matter, but, none of us matter if we are not treated as equals. Why not start out by reaching out, listening to each other and speaking up when we see racism and injustice in action? I don’t have the answers, but I see it as one large complicated puzzle that we have to work on together. When you start a puzzle, it makes sense to start with the edges and then work your way towards the middle. I see the racism, division and hatred as the edges. As we put them together, that stuff starts to disappear and we start to see the middle, the bigger picture. The picture where we are all connected. We can see all around the puzzle and see how the pieces form together to create the whole image. In that image, we see our differences, the things we value and our shared experiences. We see our history and the things we’ve overcome. We see the things we can accomplish when we are united.

Making Our World Safe

In order to start thinking about the police brutality problem across all races, we have to start putting the puzzle together first. We have to stand with people of color. Standing together brings healing and builds trust. One person has to reach out first and people of color have asked us as white people to stand with them. I stand with you. My blog is a safe place for moms of color.

I hope that one day black parents won’t have to have these discussions with their children about how to be safe around the police. I hope that one day, parents of color won’t have to tell their children about the hatred in the world based simply on the color of their skin. I hope that one day, our multiracial children will feel proud of every part of their identity. They won’t have to pass as something else or hide the parts that make them unique and wonderful. They won’t have to deal with stereotypes, discrimination, hatred or feeling afraid for their lives. It all starts at home. We need to tell our children about race and that our experiences may be different from what others experience. We need to show children that diversity is valued and respected. We need to have uncomfortable discussions with friends or family members to help all of us grow. We need to start healing and putting our country back together, but this time, we need to create an environment that is tolerant, strong, safe and a more just place.

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Activities For Kids

10 Calming Activities for Kids

May 18, 2020

Although things are starting to open up a bit depending on where you are located, most of our kids are still at home. Whether you have kids of different ages that you are trying to homeschool or if you are trying to work from home yourself, it can be a challenge to keep the younger kids occupied. It’s especially difficult to keep kids quiet or calm while being cooped up in the house and there’s only so much screen time you can handle. If you are at the end of your rope and just want some peace and quiet, keep reading for my list of the top quiet calming activities for toddlers and preschoolers.

1. Puzzles

Puzzles are great because they are quiet, teach problem solving skills and depending on the ages of your children, they can be worked on independently. The other bonus is there are puzzles for all ages. You could have a 4 piece puzzle for your young toddler or a 500 piece puzzle that you work on over days as a family.

I also like puzzles because they can be a great way to introduce different concepts or reinforce things you are already learning about. Rosebud has become interested in maps and space lately, so I bought her two puzzles. One is of a map of the U.S. and the other is this wonderful puzzle of our solar system. She enjoys seeing the pictures of the planets close up.

2. Sensory Bottles

I’ve seen different names for these bottles. Some people call them sensory bottles, discovery bottles or calm down jars. Basically, you fill a bottle with water or another base material and then add interesting things to it. You glue the top shut and let your child look at the bottle. There are literally a million different ideas out there. Here are some ideas for your bottles.

Color mixing: Add drops of food coloring with the water in the bottles and see how different colors mix.

Alphabet: Add water and beads with the letters in a bottle and then see if your child can find the letters.

Princess: Add water, glitter, jewels and let your child choose a color. See if your child can find all the jewels.

Shapes: Add water, a color and different shaped items. See if your child can name the shapes.

Beach: Add sand, water, shells and or rocks. Play beach sounds for a nice relaxing activity.

Slow Falling Beads Sensory Bottle

Magnetic Pipe Cleaner Sensory Bottle

Softly Falling Snow Sensory Bottle

Unicorns and Fairies Sensory Bottle

Jellyfish Discovery Bottle

3. Marshmallow Sculptures

All you do is set out a tray with marshmallows and tooth picks and then let your child create a master piece. This is a wonderful activity to help with those fine motor skills that is perfect for preschoolers. Toddlers can do this as well, but need more supervision. This activity lets kids use their imagination and it is quiet. If you don’t want to use the regular marshmallows, there are these foam marshmallows that would work.

4. Jewelry Making

Here’s another activity that is great for strengthening those fine motor skills. Depending on the age of your child, this activity will look different. If you have a young toddler, you may want to use yarn and pasta with close supervision. They have bead stringing sets that you can reuse. These sets are great because they are sturdy and perfect for a toddler’s little hands.

If your child is a little older, you can use string or gimp with pony beads and make something that resembles jewelry. In my experience, boys and girls alike enjoy making bracelets or necklaces for themselves or family members. If your child is s school age, you can get an actual jewelry making kit and see what they come up with.

5. Audio Books

I love audio books because they are a great way to keep a child occupied for a few minutes while you need to get something done. You can find audio books on Amazon on CD or digital download. Right now Audible has stories that you can listen to for free while the children are out of school. There are many people who are reading stories on Youtube as well. This is still screen time, but it’s a form of reading time that can capture your child’s attention.

6. Felt Story Boards

To go with books, felt story boards are a wonderful way to make reading time interactive. The wonderful thing about felt boards are they are super quiet. You have lots of options here too. There’s everything from The Very Hungry Caterpillar to the felt alphabet to dress up. You can either buy kits to cut out at home or ready made kits.

7. Sensory Bins

Similar to the sensory bottles, there are a million ideas out there, but I’ll focus on the quieter options. Sensory bins can help your child practice fine motor skills, math, science, imaginative play and they can be very calming depending on what you put in them. Here are some ideas.

Cotton balls and or pompoms for scooping/pouring, sorting by color, shape and or size, add tongs to help your child practice fine motor skills.

Water, scoops, cups, shells, plastic fish. This works well for an ocean theme or as a calm down activity. Water. Has been proven to have a calming effect.

Small world: Fill a basket with mini dolls, doll furniture, little animals etc. Let your child’s imagination come alive.

8. Matching Games

Here’s another activity your child can do independently. There are matching games out there to fit any theme or interest. You can make your own or buy them. Matching games help children learn to sort and classify items. Rosebud loves this cupcake shape matching game and this cookie alphabet puzzle where you match the letters. To help her with her counting, I got her this popcorn game that has cups with the numbers on them and you have to count out the pieces of popcorn to match the cups.

9. Blocks

You’re probably thinking, how can blocks be quiet and or calming, but these foam blocks are wonderful for toddlers. They are light weight, quiet and have several shapes to build with. Blocks are great for helping kids with spacial awareness, learning shapes and sizes, creativity and allowing them to experiment. If you add little animals or people, they can get even more involved in their play.

10. The Quiet Basket

This is the ultimate basket for you mamas who need to work a bit longer or desperately need to escape the noise. One way to use this basket is to have a quiet time as apart of your child’s routine every day. Here are some ideas of what you can put into the basket.

Books,

Dry erase board or book with small pack of markers,

Sensory bottle with an I Spy card,

Mini felt board with story set,

Etch a Sketch,

Water game,

Lacing cards,

Small bag of legos,

Mini puzzle,

Sheet of bubblewrap with the small bubbles.

I hope you are able to find some peace and quiet at your home. How are you keeping your children occupied while you work from home? Tell us in the comments.

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Motherhood, Personal Development

31 Journal Prompts for Mother’s Day

May 10, 2020

I want to wish everyone a happy Mother’s Day! I know Mother’s Day looks different this year, but hopefully you’ve found creative ways to celebrate the moms in your life. I’ve created this list of 31 journal prompts to help you do that. You can use these for self reflection, preserving memories or maybe you want to use some of these questions to get to know your own mom better. These prompts can be used for grandmothers, aunts or any mother figures in your life. You can either use these prompts in order over the next month or just use the prompts that resonate with you. They are meant to be a starting point. Enjoy these Mother’s Day journal prompts.

Lessons Learned

Use these prompts to reflect on lessons learned and to become clear on the lessons you want to teach your children.

What is the most important lesson you learned from your mom?

What did your mom teach you about love?

What did your mom teach you about work?

What lessons have you learned from your mom about parenting?

What are some important lessons you want your children to learn?

Love and Gratitude

Use these prompts to express your love and gratitude for the people and things you appreciate in life.

What do you love about your mom?

What do you love about being a mom?

What do you love most about your children?

What does your ideal Mother’s Day look like?

Who are your female role models?

Making Memories

Use these prompts to remember the good times.

What’s your favorite memory of your mom?

What are your favorite memories so far with your children?

What did you do on your first Mother’s Day after becoming a mom?

What do you still want to do with your mother or children?

What’s your favorite childhood memory?

Family Traditions

Use these prompts to think about past and future family traditions.

What’s your favorite tradition from childhood?

What’s your favorite family recipe?

What traditions have you started with your own children?

What does Mother’s Day mean to you?

What is your family story?

Growth and Change

Use these prompts for personal development and self discovery.

How have you changed since becoming a parent?

How has your relationship changed with your mother over the years?

What do you wish your mom would have done differently?

How has your mom influenced your life choices?

What are your parenting goals?

Getting to know each other

These questions are for mothers and daughters to use to learn new things about each other.

What are your big dreams?

What do you wish you had done, but haven’t yet?

What are your goals for the next decade?

What’s one story you’d like to pass down to younger generations?

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?

What is the best thing about having a daughter or being a daughter?

I hope you find these prompts useful either for your personal journaling practice or to share with your mom. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day where ever you are in your parenting journey. Stay healthy and stay safe. How are you celebrating this Mother’s Day? Tell me in the comments.

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Gift Giving, Motherhood, Parenting

What Mothers Really Want for Mother’s Day

May 7, 2020

Things may look a little different for Mother’s Day this year. Mom’s favorite restaurant may not be open, her gift may not arrive on time or you may not be able to see her in person due to social distancing. With all that in mind, I asked a group of mothers what they really want this year. Luckily for you, most of them don’t want fancy dinners out or an expensive gift. If you want to know the secret, keep reading to learn what the mothers in your life really want for Mother’s Day. Don’t forget to click on their links as well to show these awesome mom bloggers some appreciation.

Quality Time Alone and with the Family

The responses I got included a mix of things from being pampered to quality time with family.

Jessica “What mothers really want for Mother’s Day is to sleep in and wake up to a freshly cleaned house! We also don’t want to hear any complaining the entire day.”

Amy “Time alone from my child 😂 In all seriousness I love to spend Mother’s Day partly by myself getting a pedicure and then having dinner with my family from my favorite takeout restaurant.”

Kate “I would love a massage from my husband without having to remind him or have to negotiate the length of the massage.”

Tiffany “I want a night or two at hotel by myself. Order room service, watch a TV show, book a massage and pedicure, and get a full night of uninterrupted sleep.”

Allison “What I really want for Mother’s Day is to spend a fun day out with my family, but not have to plan any of it. I’d love to just show up, be the fun mom, and make awesome memories with my kids.”

Tamara “I want this pandemic to end soon so that we can be back to normal. I’d love to go to the beach with my son, socialize with friends and relatives, have a normal delivery (I am pregnant). I’m due in June so these are my last days to have some family fun before the baby arrives – being stuck at home wasn’t exactly what I was wishing for.”

Crystal “I would love to have a day to myself. I have 4 young kids so our house is never quiet. To have a day of quiet to relax, sew, and watch tv by myself would be amazing. :)”

Ina “I would love a clean house, Netflix my choice, and visit garden center for plants shopping.”

Dana “I would really love a day to do nothing (although we’ve had a lot of that over the past few weekends) to read my books, magazines, and lay on my hammock.”

Taryn “All I want for Mother’s Day is a full night of uninterrupted sleep.”

Sarah “I want for everyone to be healthy and happy first and formost! Though it would be nice to enjoy some quality time outdoors together with family, followed by my husband taking care of supper and the kids, while I get some quite book reading/me time. It would also be nice if my husband did a few things off my “hubby-to-do-list” as well.”

Ana “For Mother’s Day, I would love to start the day feeling refreshed with a little time to care for myself, followed by special time later in the day with family — whether it’s an outing, game or dinner celebration, but peaceful quality time together.”

Samantha “For mothers day I just want to be with my kids and for no money to be spent. A homemade card with my little kids hand prints in it and a cuddle is all i ever want. Most mothers days we have a nice family meal or if its warm enough head to the beach.”

Kristen “For Mother’s Day I’d love to be able sleep in, have breakfast made for me, and take an uninterrupted shower.”

Cassie “I would absolutely love to get the final decision that we could adopt our foster son that’s been in our care for almost two years.💕”

Maggy “A cup of tea in bed and a handmade card :)”

Personalized Gifts

If you do pick out a gift. These moms have wonderful ideas for meaningful gifts.

Christina “What I would love for Mother’s Day is a mother’s necklace with my kids initials on it.”

Mellissa “I would love a photobook of all of my kids from birth to now. It would be so nice to have all of their photos in one place that I could look at whenever I wanted to!”

Holly from PinkFortitude sells gratitude journals which would make a wonderful personalized gift for mom.

Do you know what your mom’s love language is? Heather from Our Green Life says, “I think a lot of moms don’t want stuff, they want someone to do all the chores/errands/mom stuff that often fall to mom. A day without obligation would be the best.”

She has written this wonderful post about gifts of service for moms.

Jen from Journalls to Freedom Printables suggests, “this year, give the special mom in your life the priceless gift of time spent together.” She sells this amazing Printable Mother’s Day Binder.These are a great way to really get to know your mom and spend quality time with her. It’s a great gift for creating long-lasting memories together.

To wrap up this roundup of fantastic Mother’s Day ideas, Jane and Sonja from Sustain My Craft Habit have written this beautiful post about what mothers want for Mother’s Day from a kid’s perspective.

As for me, I’d love to get a little extra sleep, spend the day with Rosebud and then have some time to relax after she goes to bed. Above all this year, I want everyone to be healthy and safe. Check out last year’s Mother’s Day roundup for even more gift ideas. What are you doing for the moms in your life this Mother’s Day? Tell me in the comments.

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Personal Development, Self Care

How To Show Self Compassion

May 6, 2020

How are you doing? Where are you in this strange world we are living in? Maybe you are one of those people who is maximizing your time by taking courses, organizing your home or being productive with your work. Maybe you are on the other end of the spectrum and it’s all you can do to get out of bed and get dressed. Chances are, you are probably somewhere in the middle. Especially if you are a mom trying to hold down a job, homeschool kids and take care of the house. Where ever you are at this moment, I want to remind you to show some self compassion.

I’m writing about self compassion today because it is a struggle I am having. Chances are, I’m not alone in this. When the stay at home orders first started, I was thankful that I had some extra time to put towards my coaching and this blog. I was excited to have extra time with my daughter. I always wanted to stay at home with her, so I was looking atthis as an opportunity. For the first couple of weeks, things were going great. I had lots of motivation and my daughter was loving having me at home.

As time passes, I have lost the motivation to write which leaves me discouraged. I’ve also noticed behavioral changes in my daughter. She’s angry that she can’t go back to school and she misses her friends. She always tells me that she’s scared, but when I ask her what is scaring her she tells me, “monsters.” I’m wondering if it’s really monsters she’s scared of or is it something else. Is she scared that we may get sick? Is she scared of something she can’t put into words? She’s only four, so much of this is beyond her comprehension, but she is piecing things together and trying to make sense of it all. I’m trying to help her stay motivated with her learning, but she can’t focus. Quite frankly, neither can I.

Is it time to get back to the drawing board? Probably. We need to take a new approach. I’ve started with toy and book rotation, more snuggle time and a lot more going with the flow. As a coach, it’s my job to help others stay motivated and working towards achieving their goals, but I am only human and I am definitely feeling overwhelmed, sad and frusterated.

Your Challenges

What are your struggles?

Is it a lack of motivation?
Is it work/life balance?
Are your kids having trouble adjusting to the changes?
Are you unemployed and or in a career transition?
Is it cabin fever?

Whatever your challenges are, let’s start by being kind and compassionate with ourselves. We are in extraordinary circumstances.

What is self compassion?

The definition of self compassion is is the extension of kindness, care, warmth, and understanding (instead of beratement and criticism) toward oneself when faced with shortcomings, inadequacies, or failures.

When I think of self compassion, I picture this situation. When your friend is going through a tough time, what do you tell them? If your friend tells you she let the kids eat junk food because she didn’t feel like cooking or that they sat in front of the tv for too long, what would you tell her? You would probably tell her to be kind to herself. You’d tell her to try again tomorrow and not to worry so much. You wouldn’t tell her that she’s a terrible mother for not feeding organic or putting the kids in front of the tv so that she can get a moment of peace. If we are kind and compassionate with our friends, why do we criticize ourselves for the same actions?

Tips for Self Compassion

1. Say kind things to yourself.

If those negative statements pop into your head when you lose motivation, snap at your children or forget to take care of yourself, try using a positive statement instead.

I will use calm words with my children.

I may be overwhelmed, but I am a good mother.

I will start fresh tomorrow.

I have achieved these goals and will achieve my goals in the future.

Whatever your negative self-talk is, think of positive statements to challenge these beliefs. Write them down if you have to.

2. Stop and practice gratitude.

Whether it is in your head, on paper or in your phone, stop and write a few things you are grateful for. It may bring you joy and help you feel centered again.

3. Practice self-care.

If you are able to take just a short break to something for your self, it can make all the difference. Here are some ideas.

Journaling,

Meditation,

Taking a walk,

Take a bubble bath,

Have your favorite drink or comfort food,

Read a book or maybe just one chapter.

4. Connect With Others

If you can’t seem to give your self any compassion, reach out to someone who will lift you up. Call a friend, a family member or others in your network. Sometimes, it helps to talk things out. You may come away with a new perspective or will feel better in knowing that someone else understands and has your back.

Where ever you are at this point, it is okay. If you are on fire with ambition, that’s awesome! If you are feeling down, be kind to yourself. If you and your kids are driving each other crazy, take a break if you can and find something you can enjoy. That’s what I’ve been doing this week. I’m taking care of myself so that when I come back, I will have more positive energy and a renewed sense of purpose. Most importantly, I am showing some self compassion and I hope these tips help you do the same.

How are you and your children coping with all of this? Tell me in the comments.

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About me, Personal Development

Navigating Motherhood Coaching

April 27, 2020

I know I haven’t written in months, but I wanted to give a quick update on where I’ve been since February. I started training to become a life coach through the World Coach Institute which has been extremely valuable. Not only have I learned how to coach, but it’s helped me build my confidence as well. It has also made me realize that I am on the right path. I enjoy coaching and would love to help you achieve your goals.

Introducing NMC Coaching

I’d like to introduce my new website, NMCCoaching.com. I have launched a new blog over there which focuses on personal development and ways to help your children. NMC Coaching stands for Navigating Motherhood Coaching. I work with moms who want to make real changes in their lives.

Are you transitioning into a new career?
Do you want to feel more productive throughout your day?
Do you want to feel more confident in your parenting abilities?
Do you feel like you’ve lost your identity as a mom and want to rediscover what lights you up?
Do you simply need help regrouping during these uncertain times?

If any of this sounds like you, head on over to NMCCoaching.com or send me an E-mail at darcey@nmccoaching.com to see how we can work together.

Due to Covid19, I am unemployed which has given me the time to devote to my coaching business. That leads me to the topic of this blog and what will happen to it. I hope to still post on here once per month. I have a Mother’s Day post coming up. Eventually, I hope to tie the two blogs together, but haven’t figured it out yet. This blog has been a labor of love for me. It’s been my introduction to professional blogging, but still remains personal. It’s been part of our journey with some helpful tips thrown in. I hope you will continue to check back for updates and of course, my older posts will still be here. If you are interested in personal development and parenting tips and tricks, come over to NMCCoaching.com and check it out. I will be offering a weekly newsletter with freebies plus building a community of likeminded moms who are working on achieving their goals. Most of all, I want to thank you for visiting my little corner on the web.

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Personal Development, Self Care

10 Self-care Tips for the Busy Mom

April 22, 2020

As moms, we are always jumping from one task to the next and taking care of ourselves is an after thought. What do you picture when you hear the term self-care? Maybe you picture days at the spa or a weekend at home in your pj’s with your favorite comfort foods. What if I told you that self-care can take 10 minutes or less? Here are my 10 self-care tips for busy moms that can be done in under 10 minutes.

You may be thinking 10 minutes is too short to make a difference. You might be dying to have a whole weekend to yourself, but let’s be realistic. A refresher is better than nothing and during this pandemic, most of us aren’t leaving the house anyway. If you regularly schedule these five to ten minute breaks in your routine, they will become a habit and it will start to add up and make a huge difference in your outlook, health and wellbeing. Okay, I know your busy, so let’s get to those self-care tips now.

Journaling

Journaling is one of my favorite self-care routines. I don’t journal as much as I’d like to, but journaling has so many benefits. Personally, it has helped me work through feelings, visualize my future, keep track of goals and ideas, remember my dreams and preserve memories. With all these ways that journaling can help you, why wouldn’t you want to try it? The great thing about journaling is that there is no right or wrong way to journal. You just write from the heart. If you are not much of a writer, you can make lists or even sketch instead. The best part for us busy moms is that you can journal in less than ten minutes. You can include it in your routine first thing in the morning or before you go to bed or maybe you find it more beneficial to jot down notes throughout the day. Here are some ideas to get you started.

A gratitude journal; make lists of what you are grateful for.

Write using journal prompts.

Write down your dreams when you wake up.

Write down your goals and big dreams each day.

Write about your day.

Make a journal using photos.

Meditation

Many people use meditation as their form of self-care. There are numerous benefits of meditation. There are so many forms of meditation out there, so try several and figure out which meditations work best for you. Even if meditation is hard for you, just try to find a time to be in calm and stillness. We are always juggling and rarely get to stop to sit with our thoughts. There are many meditations that can be done in ten minutes or less like these.

Stretch Routines

If you are working at home now like I am, you may be sitting for hours at a time. It’s really important to get up and move around. A quick five to ten minute stretch routine is the perfect way to do that.

Workouts

If you have the energy and motivation, why not schedule a ten minute workout? If you are low on energy, doing even a short exercise routine is a great way to beat fatigue! If you have an exercise machine at home, do that, but if you don’t have any exercise equipment, I’ve got you covered. There are many strength based workouts that you can do from the comfort of your home that only use your body weight and can burn just as many calories.

Favorite Snack

What are your favorite snacks? This will look different for everyone and that’s okay. For some people self-care is grabbing their favorite comfort food and for other people self-care includes eating something healthy for their body. Whatever the case may be for you, prepare some of these snacks for you and your kids so you can have them throughout the week.75 Healthy Snack Ideas

No Bake Blueberry Protein Balls

Strawberry Granola Yogurt Bark

Looking Good to Feel Good

Maybe you don’t have time for a spa treatment or to do your regular makeup routine, but it’s so important to feel good about how you look. Since we are staying at home, many of us are not even bothering to get dressed or do our makeup. I don’t know about you, but when I’m not dressed and ready for the day, I don’t feel very motivated. Here are some ideas to help you look and feel good that take only a few minutes.

Put on your makeup.

Wear jewelry.

Do your nails.

Do a facial.

Style your hair in a different way.

Reading

Reading is one of my favorite activities because I learn new things or I can escape into the book depending on what I’m reading. Those are just a couple of benefits of picking up a book or listening on Audible. Reading doesn’t have to take up a lot of time. You can just read a few pages at a time, but if you totally get absorbed, that’s okay too.

Outside Time

How about taking that book outside and enjoying the peace that comes from being in nature? These days it can be harder to get out with our social distancing practices and stay at home orders, but as long as you keep these things in mind, you can still safely enjoy the outdoors. If you have a dog, take him for a walk. The dog needs to get out, so why not take this time for yourself as well? If you have a baby, it can be nice to just put them in the stroller and go enjoy the fresh air. Maybe you’re working and you can take your laptop outside. Being outside for a few minutes can bring some calm not only to yourself, but to your kids as well.

Creating a Peaceful Environment

This may be an aspect of self-care that you haven’t thought of. If you are working at home, think about the environment that you are working in. Is it uninviting? Is it complete chaos? One way to make your day more peaceful and or motivating is to change your environment in subtle ways. Here are some ideas.

Put pictures on your desk.

Add motivational quotes or affirmations where you see them.

Use crystals.

Add fresh flowers.

Use peaceful sounds like these.

https://youtu.be/UJZxtO9XNno

Social Connection

During this time of isolation, it’s so important to reach out to others. What’s better than a good chat with a friend? Maybe you want to reconnect with someone you haven’t talked to in a while or maybe you want to make some new connections. Whatever the case may be, reach out. It could make your day or someone else’s. It can also help us to slow down and listen and or be heard.

Self-care is so important, especially during these uncertain times. What are you doing to take care of yourself? Tell us in the comments.

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Activities For Kids, Motherhood

How To Help Children Work Through Feelings

April 19, 2020

This week on the blog, I’ve talked about how to sit with our feelings at this uncertain time. If you missed the post, I shared several strategies to help us work through our feelings. As adults, we understand what Is going on the world around us and of course, we are feeling many strong emotions. We may be feeling fear, sadness, anxiety and or grief.

Our kids are having these feelings too and the hard part is they may not even know how to describe what they are feeling. Young children are just learning how to regulate their emotions and express themselves. They may start acting out, become withdrawn or become extra clingy during this time. They hear our conversations and see the news if they have it on. They are hearing things they don’t understand and are picking up on whatever their family members may be feeling. Their worlds have also been turned upside down. Their routines may be totally different with the school closures and parents now working from home or not working at all. Even though all this extra time at home with our families can be wonderful, it’s a huge change.

However, there are things we can do to help our toddlers and preschoolers understand and work through their feelings. We can help our youngest toddlers label their feelings and we can help our older preschoolers work through their feelings by playing and creating. I have compiled a list of activities that parents can use to help their toddlers and preschoolers recognize, label and work through their feelings.

Art Feelings Activities for Toddlers and Preschoolers

The Feelings Collage

What you do:

Look through magazines or print off pictures from the internet that express different feelings. Then glue them on paper.

Paper Bag Puppet

What you do:

Take a brown paper bag and draw or create a face using materials from around the house.

Materials may include googly eyes, felt, tissue paper, foil, paper scraps cut into different shapes etc. Be creative!

Dry Erase Faces

What you do:

Print off blank pictures of faces like these coloring pages from Dabbles & Babbles. Then have your children color them, expressing whatever they are feeling. Then erase and start over.

Open Ended Drawing or Painting

Have your children draw or paint whatever comes to mind. Then talk about the picture. They may open up about their thoughts and feelings.

Play-dough

This is usually classified as a sensory activity, but it is creative as well. Make silly faces out of play-dough or let your children use their imaginations to create whatever comes to mind. They can also add items to the faces like beads, pompoms, googly eyes, rocks, shells etc. You could do this with modeling clay as well. It makes a perfect mixed media art activity.

Story Writing for Preschoolers

Have your child dictate a story to you and write it down. My daughter loves to do this. It’s a great window into your child’s thoughts. You can either make the story into a homemade book letting the child draw the pictures or keep it as is.

Family Feelings Activities

The Happy List

Have the child make a list of things that make him or her happy. They can draw pictures to go with it and you could turn it into a happy book. This could be done with other feelings as well. You could also make it a family happiness list and write down things that make each family member happy.

Feel Good Jar

Talk with the child about how to make others feel good. Each morning, they can either draw a name from the jar or an action depending on how you want to set this up. You could either put in the names of your family members or you could write down actions instead and the child can pick who they want to do something nice for that day. Here are some action examples.

Give a complement,

Give a hug,

Share a snack,

Take a walk together,

Call a friend,

Help a family member with a chore,

Tell someone you love them,

Make a homemade card,

Share a toy.

The Bruised Apple

This is a good activity to do in a classroom setting, but you could do it at home as well. It’s a good activity for teaching how our words or actions can hurt other people without us knowing it. All you do is have the child hit the apple on a table or the floor. Then cut it open to see the bruising inside.

Conversations About Feelings With Kids

Sometimes the best way to teach something is to slip it into everyday conversations or activities.

One way is using the daily calendar. We have a calendar that has a space for feelings. Ask the child how they are feeling and have them put the face on the calendar.

Since we are all stuck at home, there may be more screen time than usual, so talk about the shows your child is watching. Many shows have feelings, friendship or specific fears as themes for specific episodes. My daughter watches Bubble Guppies, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and Pete The Cat. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is another show that talks about emotions often. There are many episodes of kids shows that talk about being sick and or going to the doctors. With all this talk of sickness due to covid19, that may be worth exploring with your kids as well. They may have new fears about sickness and going to the doctors. My daughter has mentioned being afraid of the doctor several times since the pandemic started. I know she’s not alone.

Feelings Snacks for Kids

You can tie the feelings theme into meal times by having kids make faces on their food while preparing it. This works best with foods with toppings.

Mini pizzas,

Pancakes,

Rice cakes with peanut butter.

English muffins with peanut butter.

Feelings Activities Resources

I’ll leave you with a few extra resources that you can explore. If you want books, games and even more activities, check out these informative web pages.

If you are looking for games, songs and even pretend play activities with a feelings theme, check out this list of feelings activities for preschoolers.

Here is another great resource for art, math and even science feelings activities.

Check out this list of 10 books to help kids understand their feelings.

What are you doing to help your kids work through difficult emotions during this strange time? Tell me in the comments.

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Gift Giving, Parenting, Shopping

Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Little Girl

January 16, 2020

Valentine’s Day is less than a month away. While I think it’s over commercialized like everything else, I want to make the day fun and special for Rosebud. Our tradition is that I surprise her with a small Valentine’s Day gift in the morning. I haven’t decided exactly what her gift will be yet, but I’ll admit that shopping for little girls is too much fun. It gave me inspiration for this post. If you are shopping for a Valentine’s gift for little girl, I got you covered. This post has plenty of gift ideas to get you started.

Build A Bouquet Play Set

Rosebud loves this flower play set. There are a few different kinds and they all look like they can be connected. I got her this set last year and she still plays with it, but I’m thinking of getting her a second set, so that she can make her flower gardens bigger. This toy is great for color recognition, creativity and learning about different kinds of flowers.

Jewelry

Most little girls I know love jewelry. Rosebud has this bracelet and necklace set with rose pendant. She is not a fan of jewelry, so I’m saving it for when she’s a little older. This set is very pretty and I was surprised that it seems well made. I was impressed with it for a little girl’s necklace. There are tons of options for girls jewelry. The options are endless.

Stuffed Animal

Stuffed animals are a classic gift. You can go with a classic teddy bear or with something unique. Something soft and cuddly is always nice.

Books

You can’t go wrong with books. There are so many great Valentines books out there. Here are just a few to give you an idea.

Valentine’s Dress

If you are going anywhere fancy for this Valentine’s Day or if your little girl just loves dressing up, you could get her a nice dress.

Kinetic Sand

I got this sand for Rosebud for Christmas and it is the coolest thing. It doesn’t dry out, you can make so many neat things and it doesn’t make a huge mess. There are lots of cool molds you can buy and lots of colors of sand to choose from. I’m thinking of getting the purple shimmer for Rosebud because purple is her favorite color. You could go with red to celebrate Valentine’s Day or maybe white shimmer for winter time.

Art Supplies

If your little girl is an artist like mine is, why not get some Valentines themed art supplies? I love art because it allows children to use their imaginations.

Play Food

Speaking of imaginations, Rosebud is loving her play kitchen and all the pretend food to go with it. Why not get your child’s favorite food in toy form? Maybe one of these desserts or the fruit salad?

Crafting Kits

Rosebud is still too young for some of these things, but if you have a school age girl, a crafting kit might be the perfect thing. Some ideas are jewelry making, latch hook, gimp, modeling clay etc. Not only is creating something fun, but you could do these activities together. It could just be a relaxing activity after a long day at school or you could make Valentine’s Day gifts for others together. Either way, it’s a way to spend quality time which leads me to the last gift idea on my list.

Quality Time

This doesn’t cost a thing. Well, it doesn’t have to. The main thing to show your children on Valentine’s Day is that you love them and want to spend time with them. Do you have a favorite activity that you like to do together or as a family? Here are some ideas.

Baking cookies together,
Taking a sight seeing walk,
Doing each other’s nails,
Spa day with facials and or foot bath,
Watching a favorite movie,
Reading books together,
Planning and cooking a meal,
Playing board games,
Doing puzzles,
Exploring places around town that you haven’t seen before,
Writing in a 2-way journal.

If your child is older, this would be a fun way to stay connected. Sometimes it’s easier to talk about things face to face, so it’s a great way to keep the lines of communication open. While this is not exactly an activity that you would necessarily do together, I think it counts as quality time as you are taking the time to stop and listen.

Will you be getting your little girl a Valentines gift? Do you have any special Valentine’s Day traditions? Tell me in the comments. Happy shopping!

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