I had a few ideas for Christmas posts. I had settled on writing my Christmas list. The one that I have in my head that no one else knows about. The one that has all the things I want that I won’t ask for. Over the past couple of days, I’ve gotten something on my Christmas list, but it’s something I never expected. It’s the kindness of complete strangers.
Last week, there was a pot luck at work. I struggled to figure out what to bring. I always used to bring macaroni and cheese, but with my new schedule, trying to cook it and keep it fresh no longer works. I could’ve baked cookies or brownies, but I didn’t feel like it. The week was exhausting. I needed something quick and inexpensive, so I decided to stop at Dunkin Donuts for some munchkins, also known as donut holes. Someone paid it forward and I ended up with a free box of donut holes. In return, I paid it forward and bought someone’s coffee.
The day before Christmas Eve, my mom, Rosebud and I went to Walmart to buy my groceries for the week. I had to buy enough food to feed two kids this week as I have the week off from work, but will be watching a little boy. My mom was buying last minute items to make treats to fill our stockings. Our cart was pretty full. Once we had everything up on the counter and were about to pay, an older man comes up to my mom and offers her a gift card. My mom thanked the guy as the cashier finished ringing up the items.
Her bill came to around $40, but when the cashier checked the balance, she realized it was a $200 gift card. We were all in shock. Partly because we assumed it’d be $20 or less. I figured it was someone trying to get rid of the balance on his gift card. I’ve heard of people giving that much, but only on the news or viral Facebook posts. I’ve never seen it in my real life let alone it happening to me. The cashier even said that she’d never seen anything like that happen in person. It paid for my mom’s bill, my week’s worth of groceries and still had a small balance left over.
I don’t know why the man chose us. I can speculate, but it appeared that it was out of kindness and generosity. He wanted nothing in return. Maybe it is his way of getting into the holiday spirit. Who ever he is, I hope he is not alone this holiday season. I want to thank him for his kindness and for being so generous. He doesn’t know it, but I was looking at the balance in my bank account this morning and starting to worry about bills that haven’t been charged yet. Because of this man’s kindness, I don’t have to worry and will have enough to cover everything. It was a huge help to me.
They say that when you show kindness, it will be returned to you. It might not be reciprocated by the person you showed kindness to, but it will come back to you in another form. I might not be able to give a random stranger a $200 gift card, but in my own way, I will pay it forward to someone else. Thank you not only for the groceries, but for restoring some of my hope that kindness still exists in this world. Out of all the things on my Christmas list, this is the most important. I wish all my readers a happy holiday.
Rosebud has the same great luck that I do. We share a December birthday. Just like everyone else I’ve ever known with a December birthday, we all complain about how close it is to Christmas. How we never really have a birthday. How no one shows up for winter birthday parties because they are busy with holiday stuff. How our families take shortcuts and just give us a gift they bought us for Christmas instead. How we wish our birthday was on any other month. At least Rosebud and I can commiserate together as she grows up. When she’s older, I imagine a girls day out because we’ll have to make our day special. there’s no one I’d rather share a birthday with.
Every year, I buy her a birthday card, put a little note in and ceil it. I usually include some highlights from that year and tell her how much I love her and how proud I am. I was thinking that there are lots of things I want her to know as she grows up and here are some of them.
You’re beautiful no matter what you wear.
Whether you are wearing a jeans and t-shirt or are dressed like a princess, you’re still beautiful. You’re not only pretty on the outside, but an amazing person on the inside. You are kind. You ask me if I’m okay if you think I’m sad. You always check on me if you think I hurt myself. You’re the sweetest person I know. You tell me I’m a good cook, that I’m a good mommy and you tell me you love me every day. The other day, you said that you are perfect the way you are and it warmed my heart. Please don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
Never settle.
The point of life is not how much money you can make and always having top of the line material things. It’s really about being happy both with who you are and what kind of life you have. It is important to make goals and strive for them. Don’t let anyone take you away from the path you are supposed to be on. If something or someone doesn’t make you happy, don’t be afraid to walk away. It will be hard to do this at times, but if something is bringing you down and crushing your spirit, you can’t stay. I’ll always be here to support you. Don’t be afraid to dream big even if it takes a long time to make those dreams come true.
Trust yourself.
I already told you not to settle, but if something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. You can change your mind and you can definitely say no. Sometimes in life you will have to do things that you don’t want to do, but there is a difference in doing hard things because you have to do them and being forced into doing something that doesn’t feel right to you. If a person is not respecting your physical space, find a way to get away from them and out of that situation. Same goes for people who aren’t respecting your time or values. You don’t have to put up with anyone hurting you or bringing you down.
Always keep a piece of yourself
One day if you decide to get married or become a mom, you may feel like the old you is missing. You may be devoting all your time and energy to your family. You might feel depleted and like you have nothing else to give. That’s why it’s important to always take time for yourself. Even if it’s only a few minutes a day. I want to expose you to a variety of things throughout the years so that you can find what interests you, but you can also find these things later as an adult. Read, write, socialize, spend some time alone with your thoughts, enjoy the beauty of nature, find a hobby or just take some time to care for yourself. You have to find something that is just yours to enjoy.
Everyone makes mistakes.
I want you to know that everyone makes mistakes. Really big ones sometimes. We are all human and it happens. What counts is what we learn from our mistakes and what we do differently if there is a next time. I’ve made mistakes and will probably continue making them. It’s apart of life, but I want you to know that I’m doing my best for you. I know you will make mistakes too because that’s how we learn. I will be here for you through all of it.
I love you always.
No matter what I will love you. Nothing will ever change that. Motherhood is sometimes frustrating. The day to day stuff can be monotonous. I get tired of telling you not to throw your toys or having the same arguments about bedtime every night. I know as time goes on the challenges will change. We will clash at times. Motherhood is the most challenging job I’ve ever had, but it’s worth it. When I hear your laughter or get to watch you grow and learn new things, it makes me so happy. I’m glad you are in my life and wouldn’t change it for anything.
Happy birthday my Rosebud. I am looking forward to many more.
At work, we usually do a secret Santa gift exchange the week before Christmas. Sometimes we give to a family in need and fill a box with gifts. Some of our teachers make up bags for the children and some of them don’t. This year, I wanted to do something a little different. Right now, I don’t have a class of my own. I float, so I spend time in all the rooms, but I spend a lot of time with my toddler classes now and that’s who I decided to shop for.
I knew I wanted to put goody bags together, but most of the bulk items I found were for preschoolers or older. It took a little extra time and effort to find the right things, but here’s what’s inside the bags.
These sweet treat rubber duckies for the girls and these doggy rubber duckies for the boys.
I figured most kids love their baths and the novelty duckies would be a unique spin on a classic toy.
I found these bubbles at the dollar store in packs of three. There’s chocolate, strawberry and vanilla.
Bubbles are always a hit with toddlers.
I included 1oz containers of play-dough. You can’t do much with only one or two ounces, but I was on a budget. These small sizes are great for travel.
I found packs of cars at the dollar store and included a car in each bag.
Here is a similar set of Matchbox cars.
What kid doesn’t love stickers? I found this sticker pack on Amazon that has a variety of stickers. There are letters, numbers, smily faces, hearts, animals and more. It’s a good buy if you are in the market for small puffy stickers.
Finally, I wanted to include a ball, but wasn’t sure what to do since most of the bouncy balls are too small for toddlers. I didn’t want to include anything that was a choking hazard. On the other hand, I didn’t want to find something too big for the bag. I was lucky to find these awesome jumbo bouncy balls that are the perfect size.
I found these paper snowman gift bags. They were the perfect size. For the final touch, I used gift tags with 3d stickers.
Is there anything I missed? What fun items have you included in goody bags? Tell me in the comments.
I’m sure the kids will be surprised. I hope they love them. I wish my classes a merry Christmas!
I was busy at work last week when my phone rang. I almost always let it go to voicemail, but it was my mom calling. If she calls me at work, there’s usually something wrong so I answered. I could hear this loud beeping in the background. It sounded like the smoke detecter. She asks me if I know what the noise is. When I tell her it sounds like the smoke detector, she says that she’s already checked the two smoke detectors and taken the batteries out so it can’t be them.
Then I ask the next logical question I can think of. Did you cook anything? Is anything burning? She tells me no. That she’s looked everywhere, doesn’t smell a burning smell and hasn’t cooked anything. Next, I mention the carbon monoxide detector since it’s the only thing I can think of that makes a similar sound. She tells me she’s unplugged it too and it’s not that.
Then she starts to wonder if there’s something wrong with the heater and turns the thermostat up to see if it makes any unusual noise when it turns on. Of course, it doesn’t. At this point, I’m worried and am getting annoyed because I can’t help and there’s literally nothing I can do.
I tell her I can’t help her and insist that she call the fire department. Honestly, she should’ve done that first. Now that we’ve hung up, I’m trying to put kids to sleep while worrying about what’s happening at my house. I live in a duplex so I’m wondering if there’s smoke or fire on the other side. Is there carbon monoxide after all? Since you can’t smell it, you won’t know until you start feeling the effects. If it’s not any of the detectors, then what the hell is it?
After waiting and worrying for about ten or fifteen minutes, she calls me back with the news that she called the fire department and waited outside for them to show up. They put on their gear and came in the house to find that it was in fact the carbon monoxide detector. She said that she unplugged it, but that she didn’t realize it had batteries in it. When she unplugged it and still heard the noise, she assumed that the noise was coming from something else. The firefighters checked all the levels and determined that everything was safe.
The carbon monoxide detector was going crazy because it had stopped working. I had no idea when it was originally bought since it was here when I moved in. If my mom had figured that out and had just removed the batteries, we wouldn’t have realized it was no longer effective. We would have just plugged it back in and figured the batteries were dead, but by calling the fire department, we avoided something that could’ve been tragic. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.
The firefighters gave us recommendations and I thought of some reminders that I’d like to pass on.
1. Change smoke and carbon monoxide detector batteries every six months,
2. Replace carbon monoxide detectors every five years,
3. When in doubt, if you think something’s wrong, don’t be afraid to call them. That’s what they’re there for. They not only put out fires, but they inspect homes for safety and educate people too.
4. I’d like to add that if you are unsure when your carbon monoxide detector was installed, it’s better to replace it than to guess. this is something I should’ve done.
5. The life expectancy of smoke detectors is ten years so they should be replaced as well.
6. Read the manual when you get a new detector. It will tell you what the different lights and sounds mean. This way you will know if it is no longer effective.
7. This is another thing I’d like to add. Make sure your heating system is cleaned regularly. I usually have my furnace cleaned every one to two years. This is just to ensure that it’s clean and running safely and smoothly.
The two particular firefighters who came to my house were kind to Rosebud. She was fascinated by the truck and the gear. They said she could drop by the fire station any time if she wanted to check things out. Rosebud thought that meant right then and there and started to walk towards their truck. It was more of an adventure to her than a scare, so thank you for being kind and taking the time to talk to her. Thank you for keeping us safe. I could never do your job. It takes a certain amount of bravery to enter a burning building and to put your lives on the line. Thank you.
This week, I decided to make up a festive sensory tub for Rosebud. I’m calling it the gift giving sensory tub.
What’s in the tub?
Wrapping paper,
Small boxes,
Ribbon,
Bows,
Tissue paper,
Bells,
Snowman rings,
Sparkly pompoms,
A bulb shaped ornament that opens,
A gift bag
A small stocking.
Today was the first time Rosebud got to play with this tub and she played for almost an hour. I had to tare her away for bath time. She loved filling the gift bag, putting the items in the different sized boxes and trying to wrap them. We pretended to give each other gifts. She’d open a box of snowman rings and say, “thank you Mommy. This was the best gift ever.” Then I’d open a gift bag full of pompoms and tell her what a nice gift she gave. If you are working on sharing and kindness, this would be a great sensory tub for the theme.
We worked on math skills by counting the number of pompoms in a box. We used our listening skills to guess what was inside the boxes. We discovered that we can always tell when one of the bells were in the boxes, but we could only hear the pompoms depending on the size and style of the box. Rosebud folded wrapping paper and tried to tie ribbon to practice those fine motor skills.
If your child is a little older, you could include tape so they could practice actually wrapping presents. I did not include tape because I knew it’d be everywhere. I’d love to add more ribbon of different sizes, other Christmas and winter themed trinkets for a wider variety of gifts and child scissors to cut wrapping paper. If you’ve tried something similar or have a festive sensory tub of your own, tell me in the comments.
I've been thinking about this post for a while. This topic is close to my heart as I can not only relate to it from my own childhood, but it comes up on some level in my work every day. I know that working with children is stressful. Add to that, behaviors, issues or cultural differences that you may be uncomfortable or unfamiliar with, it can bring the stress to a whole new level. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. We are all human after all and that is the most important thing to keep in mind. For this post, I'll focus on children with disabilities and children who are learning English as a second language, but a lot of this can even be applied with other groups of children or even adults. I'm writing this from the education perspective, but these suggestions can be applied in many situations. Being around people who are different from us not only teaches us about others, but we also learn plenty about ourselves in the process. If you are working with a diverse group of children, here are some do's and don'ts that will make the experience better for all involved.
Respect a person’s body and space
This should be obvious, but so many situations come up where a child is just picked up and moved without a word. I can understand if it is a safety issue or an extreme emergency. There are times when we can’t always stop and explain fully. No one is perfect and these things happen, but I’m talking about the situations where it is possible to ask the child’s permission or to explain what you are doing. For example, if I am picking up a child to change her diaper, I’ll tell her that. If I need to move a child who is having a tantrum and is endangering the other children, I will say something like, I’m going to move you to a place where you can be safe until you calm down.”
I witnessed a situation where two toddlers were arguing over being in the same space playing with a dollhouse. The area was getting very crowded and I was starting to talk to the children about it. All of the sudden, the person I was working with grabs the dollhouse and brings it to a bigger table without a word. This put one child in complete melt down mode. He had no idea why the toy was taken away and what just happened. He proceeded to push a bucket of toys off the table. Meanwhile, I’m trying to gather the toys and am explaining to him that if we move to the table, he can play with the toy. In his mind, that toy was just taken away for no reason. After a couple minutes, he calmed down and I was able to help him understand the situation. That totally could’ve been avoided with just a few simple words. I try to think of it this way. Would I like to be suddenly picked up and plopped down somewhere else without a word? Would I like it if someone grabbed something I was using and brought it to another part of the room? Of course not. It’s something we really need to stay mindful of.
Assume capability
Do think children are capable until proven otherwise. Don’t assume that if a child can’t hear that they won’t understand anything. Use a gesture or two and it might make all the difference. Don’t assume that an autistic child never feels empathy. I worked with an autistic boy who would be the first to show concern if one of his classmates was sad. Don’t assume that a child can never learn. We all have different learning styles. Some of us learn best visually where others learn best through listening. Picture schedules labeling items and having a wide variety of activities that teach the same skill are all great ways to accommodate for different learning styles.
I worked with a co-teacher who told me that this particular child never used words so I started with the basics. I’d wait for quiet moments to practice words with him. We’d look at books when he woke up from his nap. I remember him saying, baby when I’d point out pictures of babies in books. During diaper changes, I’d mention how his wipes were cold and he’d repeat the word cold. We weren’t having conversations yet, but it was a start. There were in fact words there, but my co-teacher was so focused on his inability to speak, that she never took the time to see what he was capable of.
Make a connection
Do find enjoyment and common interests. Continuing the story about the child I previously mentioned, my co-teacher said that he never enjoyed a single activity. I made it my personal mission to prove her wrong every day. I started writing observations about him each day as we were trying to get services for him. Some of the areas I focused on, included social interactions, speech, the day’s challenges and the things he enjoyed. Each day I would list at least one activity that he did that he enjoyed. It could be something as simple as sitting and relaxing in the rocking chair or the more typical childhood activities like play-dough or reading a book. It made me happy to find the things he loved which allowed me to build a connection with him.
Remember Confidentiality
Do treat their sensitive information with care. I’ve heard teachers on the playground say things like, he can’t hear a word you’re saying.” First, if a child has a hearing impairment, no one needs to yell it across the playground. If someone needs to know, tell them in a more discrete way. You never know who is listening or if the information is even completely accurate. In this particular case, one of the older children that was hearing these exchanges started bullying the younger child, telling him he couldn’t come in the play house because he’s deaf. In reality, this child is not deaf. He was having issues with his hearing which seem to have been corrected, but even if he was deaf, he deserves to be treated with respect. Talking to him and trying to understand him would still not be a waste of time.
Be open minded
Do observe and ask questions. Do not make harmful assumptions. I worked with a girl who was learning English as a second language. A coworker would get so frustrated when she wouldn’t respond to her or appeared not to understand what she was saying. She’d often complain and ask, “why aren’t they teaching English at home?” Well, they aren’t speaking English at home because she knows more English than her parents. Also, they may want to keep their culture and traditions which of course includes their native language. What’s wrong with a child knowing two or more languages? Why should her parents have to parent in a language that is not their own? Just to accommodate a childcare provider, I don’t think so. Her parents were trying to teach her English using games and apps which appeared to be working. when she started with our program, she could even read some words in English. It quickly became obvious that she is very smart. I wasn’t put off because I’ve worked with English language learners before. Some things that helped me were using visuals to go along with the words, learning a few key phrases in the child’s home language and having parents share things from their family’s culture.
Hold off on the labels
Do look at the person in front of you. Everything does not need a label. I understand labels are useful. Especially in a world where you need a diagnosis for services like occupational or speech therapy, but there is no need to start labeling someone on the first day. Get to know them a bit before raising the red flags. Be open to the fact that an issue might have more than one explanation. I recently observed a boy walk back and forth over and over again through a pile of leaves. Some suspect that this boy may be autistic, but it may be something totally different. He might just like the sound of the leaves or wanted a more soothing activity. Obviously you wouldn’t diagnose on this one observation, but you’d need to look at the whole picture. Another explanation is that one disability could look similar to another in how it manifests itself. For example, the child who has regained his hearing may be repeatedly walking through the leaves because he’s never heard that sound clearly before. If he’s hearing a sound for the first time, the experience would be suddenly different. It takes time to process these things. If he is having difficulty interacting with his peers, maybe he’s trying to process language that he’s never heard clearly before.
This is why taking the time to get to know the person behind whatever the difference may be is so important. They are not little boxes to check off. They are people. People who think, feel, love and dream. If you are looking for some great ideas on how to easily teach children about diversity check out this post written by Mommy Gone Tropical. Is there anything I missed? Let me know in the comments.
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