Childcare

What to Pack for Preschool

August 1, 2019

I’m a childcare provider and there are so many instances where the children do not have the essential items that they need. I know there are a lot of reasons for this. Parents may be struggling financially, there is poor communication between teachers and parents or it may be that parents assume that we can provide these items. Each childcare program is different. Some programs include diapers and wipes in the cost. Other programs serve meals and snacks. Some programs provide swimming lessons or dance classes. With so many different expectations, it’s important to find out what your child needs to have with them when they are first enrolled. Whatever the case may be, here is a list of items your child may need based on age.

Infant and Toddler

Bottles
Unless you are fortunate enough to work close enough to your child where you can breast-feed throughout the day, you’ll need bottles. This is where you should check with your childcare provider. Do they prefer premade bottles or will they make them as needed? What is their policy on frozen breast milk? At the center where I work, we prefer premade bottles that the parents make up at home. This way, we can pop them into the warmer or crock pot and the babies don’t have to wait as long. It’s also easier to keep track of whose bottles are whose this way. We label them, but with eight babies under a year old, it really helps us to have the bottles ready to go. Sometimes, we might need extra milk or the child is there longer than expected, so we have a freezer for storing breast milk that is properly labeled with the child’s name and the date it was expressed. We follow the same procedures for formula fed babies, but I’d recommend leaving a can of formula with your childcare provider just in case.

Baby Food

If your child has started eating solid food, you may want to bring some baby food depending on the childcare provider’s policies. Our program provides baby food and regular lunches for older children. However, many programs do not provide food. Personally, I prefer that parents bring food. This way, you know exactly what your child is eating and chances are, they will eat. I see so many kids that refuse our food either because it is unfamiliar or they think it’s gross. Then the child is grumpy because they are so hungry. There are advantages and disadvantages to providing food or having parents provide food, but it can be a factor when deciding on a program for your family.

Diapers and Wipes

This is an obvious one, but some places. Provide diapers and wipes, so it’s definitely something you should ask about. Parents will usually give us an unopened package of diapers and the same for wipes, but occasionally there are parents who only provide a few new diapers each day. I find this is the hardest to keep track of and if you forget, your child won’t have diapers for the day. While we try to have extra diapers on hand, it’s not always possible. When diapers are not provided, we end up having to borrow diapers from other children. Then when the diapers are replenished, we have to give some of your diapers back to the children you borrowed from. Some places have policies that state that if your child does not have enough diapers for the day, they cannot stay at the program. It’s also important because some children have skin sensitivity issues and using different diapers and wipes can cause irritation or an extreme rash. that’s why we only like to use what you provide. If you use a specific diaper rash cream or powder, you should include that as well.

Infants, Toddlers or Preschoolers

Changes of clothes

I can’t stress this enough! Infants should have at minimum two or three changes of clothes. With the spit ups, food mishaps and blow outs, infants need ample changes of clothes. This should be obvious, but parents can forget in the midst of sleepless nights while holding down a job.

Toddlers and preschoolers need changes of clothes too. I’d recommend two changes of clothes and check back often to be sure clothing is replenished. Even though most childcare providers will keep track, it helps to work as a team.

Comfort Items

Does your child use a pacifier? Do they have a special blanket, swaddle or stuffed animal? If so, please bring those in. We want your child to feel as comfortable as possible and want your child to feel at home. Most programs welcome family photos. Especially for infants. In our infant room, we have family posters. Each child has a poster with several pictures of themselves and their family members that they can look at throughout the day. Other classrooms use little photo albums that children can keep in their cubbies. Your child misses you throughout the day and photos can help them feel closer to you.

Outdoor Items

This will change depending on where you live, the climate and the ages of your children, but here’s an idea of what your child may need outside.
Jacket, raincoat or sweatshirt,
Good sneakers for outdoor play,
Rain boots or winter boots depending on season,
Summer or winter hat,
Mittens of gloves for winter,
We prefer the water proof mittens, but they may be harder to put on and may not fit as well as gloves or knitted mittens. Also, some children find it easier to use gloves or knitted mittens because they can use their hands better.
Sun screen or bug spray,
This is important because you know which products if any will cause allergic reactions in your child.
 
Items for Water Play

Many childcare providers do some type of water play and here are some items you might need.

Bathing suit,
Water shoes,

Towel.

Food

As I mentioned above, some programs require you to bring your children’s food. The amount of food you will need will depend on how long your child will be in care and the meals the provider will or will not include. Some programs serve breakfast and a snack, some programs serve two snacks, but no lunch while others provide all meals. Some programs may not provide any food at all. If you need to bring your own food, carefully read the policies as many places have items that you aren’t allowed to bring. Many programs are nut free which rules out anything with peanut butter. Some items are choking hazards such as hot dogs, whole grapes or raw carrots. I recommend including food items from each food group for a balanced diet. Whole grains, protein, vegetables, fruit and dairy. I also recommend using a lunch box or container that helps keep items either hot or cold since most places don’t have the time or facilities to warm up so many lunches at once.

Optional Items

these are items that I’ve seen parents bring over the years that may be helpful, but not always necessary.

Bib,

Sunglasses,

Teethers,

Chap stick,

Tissues,

Journal for writing notes back and forth.

There may be other items your child will need, but this list is meant to be a basic guide for what your child will need to bring to preschool. Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments.

5 Comments

Childcare, Parenting, Preschool, Toddlers

Potty Training Strategies That Work

April 5, 2019

I’m happy to say that Rosebud is potty trained! We have been on quite a journey, but she’s finally got it. We actually started potty training when she was around 18 months old because I bought one of the child sized potties. She learned really quickly what to do. She was staying dry for most of the day plus peeing and pooping in the small potty. Then she came down with a really bad cold and we took a trip to Pensylvania. That ended her interest in the potty. We tried off and on over the next year and a half, but she marches to the beat of her own drum. It became crystal clear that she would do it in her own time and that’s what she did. However, there were a few strategies I used along the way that helped in the potty training process. I’m an early childhood educator, so I know these work with other children as well. You may need to only use a couple of these or combine all of them to work for your children.

Try a Child Sized Potty

Some people advise against using a child sized potty, but it worked for Rosebud and it has worked for several of the kids I’ve worked with. It especially helps when you are training a child under two. Rosebud was scared of the big potty. When she sat on it, she felt like she was going to fall in and a couple of times, she almost did. I had to hold her up because she couldn’t reach the floor and she wasn’t sure what to hold on to, but once I got the small potty, she was able to relax and focus on peeing or pooping. Some say that it’s harder to transition to the big potty, but in my experience, the kids have wanted to use it when they feel comfortable and are a little bigger. Rosebud still uses the small potty sometimes. She usually uses it when she has to poop because she feels more comfortable, but if it isn’t there, she’ll go on the regular toilet with no problem. If you don’t want to buy the child sized potty, they sell these seats that go over your toilet seat that cover most of the hold so that your child won’t fall.

Sticker Charts

I’m going to say it up front. This did not work at all for Rosebud, but I have seen sticker charts work well for many children over the years. Most children love stickers. In fact, we do this in several classes at the childcare center. For those who don’t know, these charts have a certain amount of spaces that get filled in with stickers. Each time the child uses the potty, they get a sticker. Click here for a variety of free potty training sticker charts. At work, we usually give one sticker for pee and two stickers for poop, but you can decide what would be best for your child. After the chart is filled, the idea is to get a reward. It could be a special treat like an ice cream, a toy or watching a movie. Younger toddlers will care more about the immediate reward of getting the sticker and may not understand the long-term goal of getting a bigger reward. You may want to skip that part and just opt for stickers. However, if your child is a preschooler, he or she will probably understand this concept better. It’s really up to you and what you think is appropriate.

With Rosebud, we might have filled one chart, but she didn’t care about the stickers. They didn’t motivate her at all. I learned that she is internally motivated which will serve her well as an adult. Many of the kids I work with are more motivated externally. Meaning they get their motivation from other people or things in the environment. They love getting the stickers and are so proud to finally get a full sticker chart to show their parents. They want to go on the potty because they’ll know they’ll get a reward. I’d recommend special stickers for this. If your child likes a certain character from movies or tv. Maybe they would like glittery or puffy stickers. Just something out of the ordinary and only used for going on the potty.

Books

There are books about anything and potty training is no exception. I read a few of these to Rosebud and she seemed to enjoy them. This was one of the things that helped her make the connection. A Potty for Me is a good one. In one of the books, it showed a cat going in the litter box, a dog going potty outside and of course, a baby trying the potty for the first time. Rosebud started making the connection, realizing that Diamond and Mellow used the litter box and we use the toilet. Books are great because they can reinforce the lessons we are teaching and help them make those connections. Books can teach children about their boddies and some of the life skills they need to learn. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood coincidentally has an episode about using the potty. We watched that several times as well. If you can get a double wammy with books and tv shows, even better.

Choosing Their Own Underwear

I took Rosebud to the store and let her pick out her own underwear. She liked the Paw Patrol panties, so that’s usualy what she uses. Since she likes them, she wants to keep them dry. One of the women I work with experienced the same thing. Her granddaughter has Frozen underwear that she picked out. She keeps them dry because she doesn’t want to get the characters wet. If all else fails, have them pick out their own underwear and make a big deal about how special they are.

Use Less Clothes

When Rosebud turned three, I decided to try the Three Day Method. It was a huge mistake. I knew there would be a lot of accidents, but many of them seemed deliberate. She’d go pee in the closet or in other random places in the house. She understood what the potty was for, but since the pressure was on, she decided she wasn’t ready. It was a horrible three days. We both only ended up mad at each other, but I learned that less clothes really does help. She did much bettter if she had no pants on or just her underwear. If she had regular pants on, she still had accidents. During your potty training process, I highly recommend letting them be in just their underwear and a shirt while at home. They can easily pull their underwear down and go potty and there will be less washing for you. Also, there won’t be anything there to absorb it so it will be uncomfortable for them if they do go in their underwear. Chances are, they won’t want to do that many times. As a side note, have them help with clean up. They will start to understand that going outside the toilet makes a mess and they will get tired of cleaning up after themselves.

Follow Their Lead

This is my biggest piece of advice. No matter what advice you hear from family and friends, you know your own child. You know if they are ready. If they are ready, it won’t be as much work. They’ll be willing to let go of the diapers. They will understand what the potty is for and be able to control their boddies. Kids have more intuition and understanding than we give them credit for. Rosebud knew when she was ready. She started telling me she needed to go potty. After she stayed dry through the night for about a week, she was the one who said that she only wanted to wear her underwear at night. She said she didn’t need diapers anymore. She’s been staying dry ever since. There were a lot of steps forward and just as many steps back, but we got there.

Extra Tips

Role modeling is so important. It might sound a little weird, but have your child go potty with you. Since you probably don’t get too many trips to the bathroom alone anyway, they might as well be productive trips. After a while, Rosebud wanted to go on the smaller potty while I used the big one. Kids are happy to be doing anything that grownups are doing.

Put a stool in the bathroom. This is useful for kids to get up on the toilet and they will have something to put their feet on while they are sitting up there. They may feel uncomfortable since their feet can’t touch the ground. Having the stool there can help them balance, allowing them to focus on the task at hand instead of worrying about falling. It’s also useful for hand washing. I put one of these stools in each of my bathrooms. Rosebud loves them.

Finally, try a special toy, book or game that will help them sit on the potty for a few minutes. Sometimes I’d read a book to her, let her bring a small toy or use the Baby Bubbles app on my phone. She’d sit there for two seconds and decide she was done. I needed something that would keep her attention long enough to sit there and try. Eventually you won’t need these extras, but they can be a big help in the beginning.

Remember, that every child is different. They will learn to use the potty eventually. I find that they learn faster and are more likely to stick with it if they don’t feel pressured into it. Go at their pace even when you want to hurry it up. When Rosebud was finally truly ready, it only took a few days. The piece of advice that really matters is to follow your instincts and not to worry about strategies that won’t work for you or when the other children you know were potty trained. In the end, it won’t matter. I hope you’ve found these tips helpful. Good luck with your potty training journey. What potty training strategies have worked well for you? Tell me in the comments.

0 comments

Childcare, Parenting, Toddlers

Five Sleep Essentials for Toddlers

February 5, 2019

For the first 15 months of Rosebud’s life, we co-slept. While it’s not a good option for everyone, it’s what worked best for us. I will write about my experience with co-sleeping in a future post, but this post is about our transition into her own toddler bed. I have to say I was pretty lucky. Our transition wasn’t as hard as it could’ve been. I had a few essential items that definitely helped with this process.

1. The Mattress

I have to say that buying a decent mattress for Rosebud made all the difference. When I first bought her crib, I bought a relatively cheep mattress to go with it. It was one of those mattresses that made a lot of noise when you put the baby in the crib. I’d rock Rosebud to sleep, but then when I’d lay her down, the noise from the mattress would wake her up. Then she knew what I was doing, so there was no chance of putting her back in her bed. We went through this routine for about a weak until I started wondering about the mattress. I figured that since my mattress is memory foam, maybe if she had one like mine, she’d be more comfortable. I wondered if they even made a mattress like that for toddlers. After a few clicks, I purchased one from Amazon. Two days later, it arrived and that very night, Rosebud slept comfortably in her bed through the night for the first time.

This mattress is a little more expensive than the average, but it has been worth every penny. It comes with a water proof cover to protect it and more importantly, it seems comfortable. Not too squishy, but not too firm. I just want to mention that I wouldn’t have felt comfortable buying this if Rosebud were still an infant, but since she was well passed her first birthday, it was a safe option.

2. Pillow and Blanket

Rosebud was excited to finally get her own pillow.
 
This was another great find on Amazon. It’s the perfect size for a toddler. I got it for her for her first birthday and she carried it around everywhere.
She’s had a couple different blankets over the past year, but the most recent one I bought is her favorite. She says it’s cozy and soft.
 
This is her first larger blanket and she loves it. It’s warm, washes well and is extremely soft. The unicorns are also a plus.

3. Special Stuffed Animal

Since I wouldn’t be right there next to Rosebud anymore, I had to help her find a special stuffed animal. She has several on the end of her bed now, but the one she always chooses to sleep with is Miffy the Bunny.

In fact, I just got her another one for her third birthday since the first Miffy she had no longer talks. It doesn’t matter though because now she takes both of them to bed. Throughout her infancy and when she was a young toddler, she didn’t seem interested in getting attached to any of her stuffed animals, but as she’s gotten older, they have provided her comfort.

4. Rocking Chair

This has been a big one for me. Rosebud has always liked being rocked to sleep. During her first year, I had a standard rocking chair made for a nursery. The chair was good for a while, but I’d get sore after sitting in it for long periods of time. Not to mention, it was small and cramped. After it broke from being used so much, I took the plunge and bought a more expensive rocking chair. I bought the beige version as it fits better with the colors in Rosebud’s room.
 
Now that Rosebud is three, she usually falls asleep in her bed, but occasionally she still likes to be rocked. We also use the chair for snuggling up to read books every night. If you have an infant or toddler, you’ll definitely want to invest in a decent chair. You might be using it for years to come.

5. Sound Machine

Rosebud is a light sleeper and in our neighborhood, we might hear barking dogs, lawn mowers or snow plows depending on the season. Everything wakes her up. When Rosebud was an infant, I found this owl soother and baby night light. It plays sounds, lights up and has a projector. there is only one image of the moon and stars, but it is perfect. It’s not too bright and the machine doesn’t make loud noises like they do when they are switching images. The light can be bright or dim. There are several sounds to choose from. Our favorite is the ocean, but there is white noise, a heartbeat and lullabies. There are so many sound machines to choose from. It all depends on what you want. Whether you want a night light, just sounds or an image projector. This one has the best of all worlds and you don’t have to use the features all at once. The important thing is Rosebud sleeps undisturbed because it helps block out noise.

Extras

I also have a couple extra things I inc. into our night time routine. The first was books. We read several stories and then end with, Time for Bed by Mem Fox. In this book, all the animals are going to sleep. She asks for this book almost every night so it has become our ritual.

Another thing was music. When I’d rock Rosebud to sleep, I’d play piano music for her. She has now decided she didn’t want music anymore, but for a long time, it helped her relax before bed. I have a Spotify subscription. You can either build your own playlist or choose from ones they already have created.

We all know a well rested toddler means more sleep at night and a better day for us parents. If you have an infant and are in the process of Transitioning your baby to the crib, you should check out these tips from Cendu from Sincerely Yours. What has made your child’s bed time a little smoother? What are your must haves to help your toddler sleep? Tell me in the comments.

15 Comments

Childcare, Gift Giving, Toddlers, Work

Holiday Goody Bags for Toddlers

December 18, 2018

At work, we usually do a secret Santa gift exchange the week before Christmas. Sometimes we give to a family in need and fill a box with gifts. Some of our teachers make up bags for the children and some of them don’t. This year, I wanted to do something a little different. Right now, I don’t have a class of my own. I float, so I spend time in all the rooms, but I spend a lot of time with my toddler classes now and that’s who I decided to shop for.

I knew I wanted to put goody bags together, but most of the bulk items I found were for preschoolers or older. It took a little extra time and effort to find the right things, but here’s what’s inside the bags.

These sweet treat rubber duckies for the girls and these doggy rubber duckies for the boys.

I figured most kids love their baths and the novelty duckies would be a unique spin on a classic toy.

I found these bubbles at the dollar store in packs of three. There’s chocolate, strawberry and vanilla. 
Bubbles are always a hit with toddlers.

I included 1oz containers of play-dough. You can’t do much with only one or two ounces, but I was on a budget. These small sizes are great for travel.

I found packs of cars at the dollar store and included a car in each bag.

Here is a similar set of Matchbox cars.

What kid doesn’t love stickers? I found this sticker pack on Amazon that has a variety of stickers. There are letters, numbers, smily faces, hearts, animals and more. It’s a good buy if you are in the market for small puffy stickers.
 
Finally, I wanted to include a ball, but wasn’t sure what to do since most of the bouncy balls are too small for toddlers. I didn’t want to include anything that was a choking hazard. On the other hand, I didn’t want to find something too big for the bag. I was lucky to find these awesome jumbo bouncy balls that are the perfect size.

I found these paper snowman gift bags. They were the perfect size. For the final touch, I used gift tags with 3d stickers.
 
Is there anything I missed? What fun items have you included in goody bags? Tell me in the comments.

I’m sure the kids will be surprised. I hope they love them. I wish my classes a merry Christmas!

11 Comments

Awareness, Childcare, Education, Preschool, Toddlers, Work

Do’s and Don’ts of Working with Children Who May be Different from You

December 4, 2018

I've been thinking about this post for a while. This topic is close to my heart as I can not only relate to it from my own childhood, but it comes up on some level in my work every day. I know that working with children is stressful. Add to that, behaviors, issues or cultural differences that you may be uncomfortable or unfamiliar with, it can bring the stress to a whole new level. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. We are all human after all and that is the most important thing to keep in mind. For this post, I'll focus on children with disabilities and children who are learning English as a second language, but a lot of this can even be applied with other groups of children or even adults. I'm writing this from the education perspective, but these suggestions can be applied in many situations. Being around people who are different from us not only teaches us about others, but we also learn plenty about ourselves in the process. If you are working with a diverse group of children, here are some do's and don'ts that will make the experience better for all involved.

Respect a person’s body and space

This should be obvious, but so many situations come up where a child is just picked up and moved without a word. I can understand if it is a safety issue or an extreme emergency. There are times when we can’t always stop and explain fully. No one is perfect and these things happen, but I’m talking about the situations where it is possible to ask the child’s permission or to explain what you are doing. For example, if I am picking up a child to change her diaper, I’ll tell her that. If I need to move a child who is having a tantrum and is endangering the other children, I will say something like, I’m going to move you to a place where you can be safe until you calm down.”

I witnessed a situation where two toddlers were arguing over being in the same space playing with a dollhouse. The area was getting very crowded and I was starting to talk to the children about it. All of the sudden, the person I was working with grabs the dollhouse and brings it to a bigger table without a word. This put one child in complete melt down mode. He had no idea why the toy was taken away and what just happened. He proceeded to push a bucket of toys off the table. Meanwhile, I’m trying to gather the toys and am explaining to him that if we move to the table, he can play with the toy. In his mind, that toy was just taken away for no reason. After a couple minutes, he calmed down and I was able to help him understand the situation. That totally could’ve been avoided with just a few simple words. I try to think of it this way. Would I like to be suddenly picked up and plopped down somewhere else without a word? Would I like it if someone grabbed something I was using and brought it to another part of the room? Of course not. It’s something we really need to stay mindful of.

Assume capability

Do think children are capable until proven otherwise. Don’t assume that if a child can’t hear that they won’t understand anything. Use a gesture or two and it might make all the difference. Don’t assume that an autistic child never feels empathy. I worked with an autistic boy who would be the first to show concern if one of his classmates was sad. Don’t assume that a child can never learn. We all have different learning styles. Some of us learn best visually where others learn best through listening. Picture schedules labeling items and having a wide variety of activities that teach the same skill are all great ways to accommodate for different learning styles.

I worked with a co-teacher who told me that this particular child never used words so I started with the basics. I’d wait for quiet moments to practice words with him. We’d look at books when he woke up from his nap. I remember him saying, baby when I’d point out pictures of babies in books. During diaper changes, I’d mention how his wipes were cold and he’d repeat the word cold. We weren’t having conversations yet, but it was a start. There were in fact words there, but my co-teacher was so focused on his inability to speak, that she never took the time to see what he was capable of.

Make a connection

Do find enjoyment and common interests. Continuing the story about the child I previously mentioned, my co-teacher said that he never enjoyed a single activity. I made it my personal mission to prove her wrong every day. I started writing observations about him each day as we were trying to get services for him. Some of the areas I focused on, included social interactions, speech, the day’s challenges and the things he enjoyed. Each day I would list at least one activity that he did that he enjoyed. It could be something as simple as sitting and relaxing in the rocking chair or the more typical childhood activities like play-dough or reading a book. It made me happy to find the things he loved which allowed me to build a connection with him.

Remember Confidentiality

Do treat their sensitive information with care. I’ve heard teachers on the playground say things like, he can’t hear a word you’re saying.” First, if a child has a hearing impairment, no one needs to yell it across the playground. If someone needs to know, tell them in a more discrete way. You never know who is listening or if the information is even completely accurate. In this particular case, one of the older children that was hearing these exchanges started bullying the younger child, telling him he couldn’t come in the play house because he’s deaf. In reality, this child is not deaf. He was having issues with his hearing which seem to have been corrected, but even if he was deaf, he deserves to be treated with respect. Talking to him and trying to understand him would still not be a waste of time.

Be open minded

Do observe and ask questions. Do not make harmful assumptions. I worked with a girl who was learning English as a second language. A coworker would get so frustrated when she wouldn’t respond to her or appeared not to understand what she was saying. She’d often complain and ask, “why aren’t they teaching English at home?” Well, they aren’t speaking English at home because she knows more English than her parents. Also, they may want to keep their culture and traditions which of course includes their native language. What’s wrong with a child knowing two or more languages? Why should her parents have to parent in a language that is not their own? Just to accommodate a childcare provider, I don’t think so. Her parents were trying to teach her English using games and apps which appeared to be working. when she started with our program, she could even read some words in English. It quickly became obvious that she is very smart. I wasn’t put off because I’ve worked with English language learners before. Some things that helped me were using visuals to go along with the words, learning a few key phrases in the child’s home language and having parents share things from their family’s culture.

Hold off on the labels

Do look at the person in front of you. Everything does not need a label. I understand labels are useful. Especially in a world where you need a diagnosis for services like occupational or speech therapy, but there is no need to start labeling someone on the first day. Get to know them a bit before raising the red flags. Be open to the fact that an issue might have more than one explanation. I recently observed a boy walk back and forth over and over again through a pile of leaves. Some suspect that this boy may be autistic, but it may be something totally different. He might just like the sound of the leaves or wanted a more soothing activity. Obviously you wouldn’t diagnose on this one observation, but you’d need to look at the whole picture. Another explanation is that one disability could look similar to another in how it manifests itself. For example, the child who has regained his hearing may be repeatedly walking through the leaves because he’s never heard that sound clearly before. If he’s hearing a sound for the first time, the experience would be suddenly different. It takes time to process these things. If he is having difficulty interacting with his peers, maybe he’s trying to process language that he’s never heard clearly before.

This is why taking the time to get to know the person behind whatever the difference may be is so important. They are not little boxes to check off. They are people. People who think, feel, love and dream. If you are looking for some great ideas on how to easily teach children about diversity check out this post written by Mommy Gone Tropical. Is there anything I missed? Let me know in the comments.

13 Comments

Awareness, Childcare, Education, Personal Development, Work

What to Do When You Feel Hopeless

October 25, 2018

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve felt hopeless, but you keep going because there’s this one thing that is keeping you afloat? It’s this one thing you look forward to regardless of everything else that is horrible about your particular situation. Everyone goes through these dark periods in their life. Unfortunately, I’m in the tunnel right now. A tunnel with no light, but here’s what I’m doing about it. These are some of the things that help me get through disappointment and heartbreak and maybe they can help you too.

I’ve mentioned my work in several posts and how I’ve been trying to take my career in another direction. Well, I’ve been seriously thinking about life/career coaching. I’ve been researching schools, learning everything I can and making a plan. However, it’ll take about a year to become certified as a coach through the program I have picked. In the mean time, I have to keep working because bills need to be paid and food needs to be put on the table. I’ve been using the past few months to do research and have been putting a lot of effort into my blog and hadn’t given much thought to my day job other than, that I’m stuck there for now.

Recently, a new little boy joined our program. He connected with me instantly. On his first day, he started bringing blocks to me so I could help him build towers and ever since then, I’ve been his buddy. The classroom he’s in has been having a lot of ups and downs. It has been a while since they had two regular teachers in there, so I’ve been trying to help out in there as much as I can. He has special needs and requires some extra attention that he wouldn’t be getting if I didn’t take the time. I’m in and out of his room throughout the morning and he often cries and tries to leave with me.

Most of his classmates were previously in another classroom I work in, so I knew them already, but their attachment to me is stronger than ever now. I’m one of the few people who have been a constant for them. Since there was an opening in their classroom, I have been pushing to be a teacher in there. Unfortunately, I didn’t get it which was extremely disappointing. I can’t get into all the details, but there was a lot of sneaky planning and plotting going on. Finally, when a decision was made, there was literally no communication with some of us who were being effected by these changes.

I wanted this job so I could really make a difference for him and the other kids. I was planning which books I would read to them, projects we could do and fixing up the classroom routine. Talking with parents is something I struggle with, so I was planning strategies on getting to know the parents and hopefully building trust. I had it all mapped out in my head. I would take this job, make it as fun as possible for the next year and then when I’d be done with my certification, I could slowly start to build my business. With the news that they had given the job to another coworker, that came crashing down.

I didn’t know if I’d even stay for another day. In fact, I still don’t know how long I will stay, but here’s what I do know. I can still accomplish my goal. I didn’t get this job, but it wasn’t my end goal anyway. It just would’ve been a bonus. Maybe there’s a reason I didn’t get it. Maybe something bigger and better is waiting for me. If you’ve just experienced heartbreak or a major set back, here are some things to try.

Journaling

Journaling is great for getting out feelings and thoughts. You can write whatever comes to mind and sometimes you even learn something new about yourself. After you get all your crummy feelings on paper, it’s easier to let them go. If someone has hurt you, write them an unsent letter. Get those emotions out and then destroy the letter. You can also use your journal to make gratitude lists and remap your goals. If you are focusing on your future and what you are grateful for, you won’t be thinking about that thing that is making you feel like crap right this minute.

Reaching Out

Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to someone. Whether it be friends, family or even a therapist. Sometimes, you need someone to bounce ideas off of. Maybe you want someone to empathize or just listen.Just knowing that you have someone’s undivided attention helps and of course you can return the favor when your friends or family are struggling. Let someone be there to help. You’ll feel better knowing that someone is on your side. At first, I thought no one would be on my side in this situation, but after reaching out and talking to some people, I’ve learned that others are seeing the same things I am. At first, I felt very much alone and started to wonder if I was over reacting, but others have validated my experience. If I hadn’t reached out, I would have continued feeling alone.

Get Active

Take a walk, try yoga, do a workout routine, go swimming, anything active. It will help blow off steam and is good for your overall physical and mental health. Taking a walk this weekend helped me. It was nice to just be outdoors, getting fresh air and being in nature.

Pamper Yourself

I treated myself this weekend. I made myself some yummy brownies that I shouldn’t have, but I was desperate for chocolate. I did lots of writing and spent time doing art projects with Rosebud. If you are doing things that you really enjoy, your mind is occupied and you won’t be thinking about those negative experiences. Other self care ideas include spa day, bubble bath, cooking a nice meal, shopping or whatever relaxes and re-energizes you.

I hope these tips help you pick yourself up off and dust yourself off after a huge disappointment. Try to remember that you are worthy of good things. How do you move past disappointments? Tell me in the comments. As always, thank you for reading.

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Awareness, Childcare, Education, Parenting, Personal Development, Work

Can We Stop Being so Judgmental Already?

October 20, 2018

This post was inspired by an interaction I had with a coworker this week. For those who may be stumbling across my blog for the first time, I work in an early childhood program. As is the case with most programs, we have parents fill out intake paper work before the child joins us. This way, the teachers can get to know some basic information about the child. This is meant as a starting point, but all too often, teachers already are making judgements and have formed an opinion of the child and or the parents before even meeting the child. As teachers, we really need to be mindful of this as it can damage a relationship with the child and family before it has even begun.

I was sitting with a coworker at nap time as I usually do and she was reading an enrollment form for a child who will be joining us soon. After almost every item, she made a snarky comment. Although my coworker’s children are grown now, she must remember being a parent to young children. We learned that the child’s father recently left the family. The mother works and is now single. She is young and the little boy is her first and only child. We learned that he sleeps in the same room with her. It wasn’t clear if they bed share. His bed time is between 8:30 and 9 and he watches about three hours of tv each night.

While these may not be some of the parenting choices I’d make, it’s not my place to judge. I have no idea what goes on in their household. When we read that the boy sleeps in the same room with his mom, her comment was, oh, god. My comment was, maybe they have a small apartment or maybe he’s having some anxiety since his dad left recently so for now he sleeps with her? Another explanation may be that she misses him since she works all day and likes being close to him. We have to choose the sleeping arrangement that works best for our family.

When we learned that he watches three hours of tv each night, her comment was, “that’s way too much tv. That’s a lot. I don’t even watch that much tv.” I mentioned that maybe that’s why his bed time was late because I’ve read research that shows that it takes children longer to settle if they watch tv right before bed. I said that the mom is young and newly single, that maybe she has a lot to do at night and that’s why he is watching so much tv. I really can empathize with this mom. Rosebud watches more tv than I would like, but there are times when I need to clean, cook, make phone calls etc. It’s hard to do that when you have a toddler who wants all your attention. While the teacher in me whole heartedly agrees that it’s too much tv, the parent in me understands.

These days, I am much more likely to view things from a parent perspective, but it hasn’t always been that way. About four years ago, we had a baby in our infant room who had a huge appetite. At least that’s what we thought. His mother would send him with a few small bottles of breast milk. Each of the bottles had two to three ounces which is completely normal and appropriate for breast-fed babies. However, we didn’t know that at the time. Between bottles, the child would scream and suck his hands. He seemed very hungry so we would tell the mother that he needed more bottles and one teacher kept suggesting that that they needed to supplement with formula.

While I don’t think we were completely wrong about him being hungry, here is what we weren’t understanding. Smaller more frequent feedings is the norm for breast-fed babies and paced feeding is an absolute must. We should’ve been questioning the flow of the nipple. Maybe it was too fast and he was drinking too quickly. Maybe if we slowed him down, he would’ve felt more satisfied. Also, it was insensitive to suggest supplementation before trying other options. There are a lot of intense feelings involved with breast-feeding and supplementation can be a sensitive issue. It can also mess with a mother’s milk supply.

Back then, I was not a parent yet and knew nothing about breast-feeding. One co-teacher was in the same boat as I was and the other co-teacher was a parent, but she formula fed. We had no idea and the fact is this mother was doing everything right in her situation and we had no business judging. We’d say things like, why doesn’t she bring more milk? Doesn’t she realize he’s hungry? She really needs to start bringing formula.

After I became a parent, I understood. I learned all I could about breast-feeding and was having my own experiences with supplementation, not producing enough milk, feeling like a failure as a parent and eventually being successful with it. I finally could walk in her shoes. When I look back, I feel bad. Now, when there doesn’t seem to be enough milk, I wonder what we can do to help. I wonder if the mother has the same supply struggles that I did. Now that I have a new understanding, I am in a better position to relate to and advocate for the children and families I work with. As for the baby, the mom never changed the size of his bottles, but after we started the transition from a bottle to sippy cup and solids were introduced, things settled down. She never caved and gave him formula. She stuck to what she knew in her heart was right and that’s what we all need to do.

The next time you are in a situation where you or someone else is judging, step back. Do some alternative thinking. If there is something that doesn’t make sense to you, come up with other possibilities. For example, the little boy watches three hours of tv each night. That is not a parenting choice I’d make, but in my head, I made a list of reasons why that might happen. Maybe mom is making dinner, cleaning or trying to study. Maybe she needs a break after a long day of work. Her job might be stressful and she needs some time to herself. Maybe that’s how her and her child bond over watching shows together. That felt much better than jumping on my coworker’s train of thought of negativity. When you reframe something and come up with a different interpretation, you may be able to understand that person or interaction better. The choice to judge or not judge starts with you. How do you avoid making judgements about others? Let me know in the comments.

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