Motherhood

How to Stay Connected While Social Distancing

May 26, 2020

Things are starting to slowly reopen, but we’ve spent the last couple of months in our homes. Depending on where you are living, things may not be fully open yet and it’ll be a while before we can resume a life where we go out to dinner with friends, have birthday parties, play dates, book groups, fitness classes etc. A lot of us haven’t seen family members in months and our networks that were there before may be gone. This can make life extremely isolating for moms. Especially single moms who may have no one else to depend on.

Being an introvert, I miss some people, but I’m okay with having a lot of alone time. However, some people thrive on being connected with others and this time has been especially difficult for them. Our children struggle with this as well. Rosebud misses her friends. She loves playing with other kids and having the structure that preschool provided. One of my goals for NMC Coaching is to connect like-minded moms. The isolation can be overwhelming in normal times, but the pandemic has created a whole new set of challenges surrounding isolation. This gave me an idea to create this list of ways to stay connected to loved ones and or to meet new people.

Virtual Play Dates

Many people are using Zoom or FaceTime for meetings now, but kids are getting on it as well to talk to each other. Depending on the ages of your children and their level of interest, meeting over FaceTime can be a good way for kids to stay connected. This works for you moms to stay connected with your friends too. Here are some ideas for virtual play dates.

Read stories,
Have the children play with similar toys,

Draw pictures to share with each other.

Sometimes, just a simple conversation will do the trick.
For more inspiration, check out these 12 virtual play date ideas.

Virtual Game Night.

This is perfect for families who are used to getting together to play games or have parties. People have gotten creative with game ideas for virtual get togethers. It can be a fun way to pass the time and feel connected with others.

For more ideas, check out this post, Hhow to plan a virtual game night.

Virtual Book Club

One way to connect with others is through common interests. If book club is your thing, there are many of them going on virtually now. Some meet over Zoom and others are just simple Facebook groups where you have online discussions. This can be a great way to meet new people.

Online Courses

If you are interested in anything, there seems to be an online course for it. You can learn about blogging, creative writing, business, Crystal healing, nutrition and cooking to name a few. There are universities offering free college courses and many low cost short E-courses on websites like Udemy. There are different formats as well. Some are courses that you take on your own, but others involve Zoom meetings and or Facebook Groups which I’d recommend if you are taking a class to connect with others. There are offerings for children as well. I’ve seen story time, yoga classes and even preschool held over Zoom.

Find a Common Goal

Are you working towards weight loss? Are you starting a business? Are you working on home improvements? Maybe you’re just working on being your best self. Whatever your goal, there is a vertual group that you can get involved in.

I have several goals around blogging and my coaching business, so I’ve found groups where I can connect with others who are working on similar goals. We work together to share ideas and hold each other accountable. Make a list of five to ten goals and then pick one or two to focus on. Chances are, there are others who will be working along side you. I’ve been using an app called Active for my fitness goals. While I prefer to work on this alone, they have programs you can follow and ways within the app to connect with other people. Sometimes an accountability partner or a cheer leader is all you need to crush those goals!

Search for Locals

Just because you can’t meet in person yet doesn’t mean you can’t connect now. There are apps that connect local people for friendship such as Bumble BFF. There are local communities/groups on Facebook that are based on interests in your local area. Some ideas for mom groups include

Moms from a specific city or town,

Baby wearing,

Moms of toddlers,

Breast-feeding moms,

Working moms,

Homeschooling moms,

Crunchy moms.

You get the idea. If you have passions outside of motherhood, that is great too!

Maybe you are interested in crafts, DIY or volunteering in your local community. Do a quick search to see what’s out there in your community. Who knows. You might find a new friend or your next amazing opportunity!

Support

If you are struggling with a specific challenge such as a chronic illness, mental health issues, death/grief etc, there are so many support groups out there. There are many on Facebook, but there are also specific websites made for this purpose. If you do a search for a support group related to your specific challenge, you will get results. You can narrow it down by location if you wish. It can be difficult when you are isolated while trying to deal with these additional challenges, but there are lots of people who want to be supportive and helpful. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone you are comfortable talking to. If you know someone who is struggling, please reach out to them as well. It can make all the difference for people to know that someone cares.

As you can see, there are many reasons and ways to connect with others online. While it’s not ideal for many of us, it has become our new normal for the time being. If we are able to focus on the positive, we can remind ourselves that we can stay in touch with our loved ones, we can meet people we would have never met otherwise, we can learn new things and most of all, this too shall pass. How are you staying connected with your loved ones? Have you done anything creative to bring people together virtually? Tell us in the comments.

0 comments

Motherhood, Personal Development

31 Journal Prompts for Mother’s Day

May 10, 2020

I want to wish everyone a happy Mother’s Day! I know Mother’s Day looks different this year, but hopefully you’ve found creative ways to celebrate the moms in your life. I’ve created this list of 31 journal prompts to help you do that. You can use these for self reflection, preserving memories or maybe you want to use some of these questions to get to know your own mom better. These prompts can be used for grandmothers, aunts or any mother figures in your life. You can either use these prompts in order over the next month or just use the prompts that resonate with you. They are meant to be a starting point. Enjoy these Mother’s Day journal prompts.

Lessons Learned

Use these prompts to reflect on lessons learned and to become clear on the lessons you want to teach your children.

What is the most important lesson you learned from your mom?

What did your mom teach you about love?

What did your mom teach you about work?

What lessons have you learned from your mom about parenting?

What are some important lessons you want your children to learn?

Love and Gratitude

Use these prompts to express your love and gratitude for the people and things you appreciate in life.

What do you love about your mom?

What do you love about being a mom?

What do you love most about your children?

What does your ideal Mother’s Day look like?

Who are your female role models?

Making Memories

Use these prompts to remember the good times.

What’s your favorite memory of your mom?

What are your favorite memories so far with your children?

What did you do on your first Mother’s Day after becoming a mom?

What do you still want to do with your mother or children?

What’s your favorite childhood memory?

Family Traditions

Use these prompts to think about past and future family traditions.

What’s your favorite tradition from childhood?

What’s your favorite family recipe?

What traditions have you started with your own children?

What does Mother’s Day mean to you?

What is your family story?

Growth and Change

Use these prompts for personal development and self discovery.

How have you changed since becoming a parent?

How has your relationship changed with your mother over the years?

What do you wish your mom would have done differently?

How has your mom influenced your life choices?

What are your parenting goals?

Getting to know each other

These questions are for mothers and daughters to use to learn new things about each other.

What are your big dreams?

What do you wish you had done, but haven’t yet?

What are your goals for the next decade?

What’s one story you’d like to pass down to younger generations?

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?

What is the best thing about having a daughter or being a daughter?

I hope you find these prompts useful either for your personal journaling practice or to share with your mom. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day where ever you are in your parenting journey. Stay healthy and stay safe. How are you celebrating this Mother’s Day? Tell me in the comments.

0 comments

Gift Giving, Motherhood, Parenting

What Mothers Really Want for Mother’s Day

May 7, 2020

Things may look a little different for Mother’s Day this year. Mom’s favorite restaurant may not be open, her gift may not arrive on time or you may not be able to see her in person due to social distancing. With all that in mind, I asked a group of mothers what they really want this year. Luckily for you, most of them don’t want fancy dinners out or an expensive gift. If you want to know the secret, keep reading to learn what the mothers in your life really want for Mother’s Day. Don’t forget to click on their links as well to show these awesome mom bloggers some appreciation.

Quality Time Alone and with the Family

The responses I got included a mix of things from being pampered to quality time with family.

Jessica “What mothers really want for Mother’s Day is to sleep in and wake up to a freshly cleaned house! We also don’t want to hear any complaining the entire day.”

Amy “Time alone from my child 😂 In all seriousness I love to spend Mother’s Day partly by myself getting a pedicure and then having dinner with my family from my favorite takeout restaurant.”

Kate “I would love a massage from my husband without having to remind him or have to negotiate the length of the massage.”

Tiffany “I want a night or two at hotel by myself. Order room service, watch a TV show, book a massage and pedicure, and get a full night of uninterrupted sleep.”

Allison “What I really want for Mother’s Day is to spend a fun day out with my family, but not have to plan any of it. I’d love to just show up, be the fun mom, and make awesome memories with my kids.”

Tamara “I want this pandemic to end soon so that we can be back to normal. I’d love to go to the beach with my son, socialize with friends and relatives, have a normal delivery (I am pregnant). I’m due in June so these are my last days to have some family fun before the baby arrives – being stuck at home wasn’t exactly what I was wishing for.”

Crystal “I would love to have a day to myself. I have 4 young kids so our house is never quiet. To have a day of quiet to relax, sew, and watch tv by myself would be amazing. :)”

Ina “I would love a clean house, Netflix my choice, and visit garden center for plants shopping.”

Dana “I would really love a day to do nothing (although we’ve had a lot of that over the past few weekends) to read my books, magazines, and lay on my hammock.”

Taryn “All I want for Mother’s Day is a full night of uninterrupted sleep.”

Sarah “I want for everyone to be healthy and happy first and formost! Though it would be nice to enjoy some quality time outdoors together with family, followed by my husband taking care of supper and the kids, while I get some quite book reading/me time. It would also be nice if my husband did a few things off my “hubby-to-do-list” as well.”

Ana “For Mother’s Day, I would love to start the day feeling refreshed with a little time to care for myself, followed by special time later in the day with family — whether it’s an outing, game or dinner celebration, but peaceful quality time together.”

Samantha “For mothers day I just want to be with my kids and for no money to be spent. A homemade card with my little kids hand prints in it and a cuddle is all i ever want. Most mothers days we have a nice family meal or if its warm enough head to the beach.”

Kristen “For Mother’s Day I’d love to be able sleep in, have breakfast made for me, and take an uninterrupted shower.”

Cassie “I would absolutely love to get the final decision that we could adopt our foster son that’s been in our care for almost two years.💕”

Maggy “A cup of tea in bed and a handmade card :)”

Personalized Gifts

If you do pick out a gift. These moms have wonderful ideas for meaningful gifts.

Christina “What I would love for Mother’s Day is a mother’s necklace with my kids initials on it.”

Mellissa “I would love a photobook of all of my kids from birth to now. It would be so nice to have all of their photos in one place that I could look at whenever I wanted to!”

Holly from PinkFortitude sells gratitude journals which would make a wonderful personalized gift for mom.

Do you know what your mom’s love language is? Heather from Our Green Life says, “I think a lot of moms don’t want stuff, they want someone to do all the chores/errands/mom stuff that often fall to mom. A day without obligation would be the best.”

She has written this wonderful post about gifts of service for moms.

Jen from Journalls to Freedom Printables suggests, “this year, give the special mom in your life the priceless gift of time spent together.” She sells this amazing Printable Mother’s Day Binder.These are a great way to really get to know your mom and spend quality time with her. It’s a great gift for creating long-lasting memories together.

To wrap up this roundup of fantastic Mother’s Day ideas, Jane and Sonja from Sustain My Craft Habit have written this beautiful post about what mothers want for Mother’s Day from a kid’s perspective.

As for me, I’d love to get a little extra sleep, spend the day with Rosebud and then have some time to relax after she goes to bed. Above all this year, I want everyone to be healthy and safe. Check out last year’s Mother’s Day roundup for even more gift ideas. What are you doing for the moms in your life this Mother’s Day? Tell me in the comments.

2 Comments

Activities For Kids, Motherhood

How To Help Children Work Through Feelings

April 19, 2020

This week on the blog, I’ve talked about how to sit with our feelings at this uncertain time. If you missed the post, I shared several strategies to help us work through our feelings. As adults, we understand what Is going on the world around us and of course, we are feeling many strong emotions. We may be feeling fear, sadness, anxiety and or grief.

Our kids are having these feelings too and the hard part is they may not even know how to describe what they are feeling. Young children are just learning how to regulate their emotions and express themselves. They may start acting out, become withdrawn or become extra clingy during this time. They hear our conversations and see the news if they have it on. They are hearing things they don’t understand and are picking up on whatever their family members may be feeling. Their worlds have also been turned upside down. Their routines may be totally different with the school closures and parents now working from home or not working at all. Even though all this extra time at home with our families can be wonderful, it’s a huge change.

However, there are things we can do to help our toddlers and preschoolers understand and work through their feelings. We can help our youngest toddlers label their feelings and we can help our older preschoolers work through their feelings by playing and creating. I have compiled a list of activities that parents can use to help their toddlers and preschoolers recognize, label and work through their feelings.

Art Feelings Activities for Toddlers and Preschoolers

The Feelings Collage

What you do:

Look through magazines or print off pictures from the internet that express different feelings. Then glue them on paper.

Paper Bag Puppet

What you do:

Take a brown paper bag and draw or create a face using materials from around the house.

Materials may include googly eyes, felt, tissue paper, foil, paper scraps cut into different shapes etc. Be creative!

Dry Erase Faces

What you do:

Print off blank pictures of faces like these coloring pages from Dabbles & Babbles. Then have your children color them, expressing whatever they are feeling. Then erase and start over.

Open Ended Drawing or Painting

Have your children draw or paint whatever comes to mind. Then talk about the picture. They may open up about their thoughts and feelings.

Play-dough

This is usually classified as a sensory activity, but it is creative as well. Make silly faces out of play-dough or let your children use their imaginations to create whatever comes to mind. They can also add items to the faces like beads, pompoms, googly eyes, rocks, shells etc. You could do this with modeling clay as well. It makes a perfect mixed media art activity.

Story Writing for Preschoolers

Have your child dictate a story to you and write it down. My daughter loves to do this. It’s a great window into your child’s thoughts. You can either make the story into a homemade book letting the child draw the pictures or keep it as is.

Family Feelings Activities

The Happy List

Have the child make a list of things that make him or her happy. They can draw pictures to go with it and you could turn it into a happy book. This could be done with other feelings as well. You could also make it a family happiness list and write down things that make each family member happy.

Feel Good Jar

Talk with the child about how to make others feel good. Each morning, they can either draw a name from the jar or an action depending on how you want to set this up. You could either put in the names of your family members or you could write down actions instead and the child can pick who they want to do something nice for that day. Here are some action examples.

Give a complement,

Give a hug,

Share a snack,

Take a walk together,

Call a friend,

Help a family member with a chore,

Tell someone you love them,

Make a homemade card,

Share a toy.

The Bruised Apple

This is a good activity to do in a classroom setting, but you could do it at home as well. It’s a good activity for teaching how our words or actions can hurt other people without us knowing it. All you do is have the child hit the apple on a table or the floor. Then cut it open to see the bruising inside.

Conversations About Feelings With Kids

Sometimes the best way to teach something is to slip it into everyday conversations or activities.

One way is using the daily calendar. We have a calendar that has a space for feelings. Ask the child how they are feeling and have them put the face on the calendar.

Since we are all stuck at home, there may be more screen time than usual, so talk about the shows your child is watching. Many shows have feelings, friendship or specific fears as themes for specific episodes. My daughter watches Bubble Guppies, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie and Pete The Cat. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is another show that talks about emotions often. There are many episodes of kids shows that talk about being sick and or going to the doctors. With all this talk of sickness due to covid19, that may be worth exploring with your kids as well. They may have new fears about sickness and going to the doctors. My daughter has mentioned being afraid of the doctor several times since the pandemic started. I know she’s not alone.

Feelings Snacks for Kids

You can tie the feelings theme into meal times by having kids make faces on their food while preparing it. This works best with foods with toppings.

Mini pizzas,

Pancakes,

Rice cakes with peanut butter.

English muffins with peanut butter.

Feelings Activities Resources

I’ll leave you with a few extra resources that you can explore. If you want books, games and even more activities, check out these informative web pages.

If you are looking for games, songs and even pretend play activities with a feelings theme, check out this list of feelings activities for preschoolers.

Here is another great resource for art, math and even science feelings activities.

Check out this list of 10 books to help kids understand their feelings.

What are you doing to help your kids work through difficult emotions during this strange time? Tell me in the comments.

3 Comments

Infants, Motherhood, Parenting

5 Pregnancy Tips for First Time Moms

August 26, 2019

Being practical in life can go a long way. Sticking with sensible decisions while pregnant is possible even for first-time moms. We’ve gathered a few useful tips for expecting mommas.

Switching to a different OB-GYN is okay

Some are lucky to have an OB-GYN they’re comfortable with even pre-pregnancy. There are some cases though that their beliefs or recommendations do not go in line with our values or gut feel. We’re not discounting the fact that these doctors have studied a lot and have valuable experiences. But, it is essential to know your rights as a patient, especially as a mother who will go through this beautiful experience of giving birth to another life form.

Definitely, not all deliveries are the same, but all births should be gentle. This means that the expecting mother’s rights are respected, she is empowered to choose, and that her birth support and providers follow her preferences. Just make sure you bring your records so that you don’t have to go through the necessary checks or tests that the new doctor needs to know.

Hand-me-downs are not a bad thing

In fact, this could probably be the most sound thing to do: to be a willing recipient for pre-loved clothes or other baby items like cribs, strollers, babywear, bouncers, high chair, etc. Whether you get them for free or for a very much lower price, it’s a great way to help other families get rid of things that will just end up in storage, and save a lot of money from buying brand new items that will only be used for a month or probably 2 years at the longest.

Make use of what you have

Concerning receiving or buying second-hand items, it is also best to look around your house for things that could be of use too. Say, for example, someone gifted you with a stroller; you can probably double it as a high chair. Check on your regular towels if they are hypoallergenic and can be used by the baby too. Or you can take some extra cotton/flannel fabrics and cut them into small squares. With edges sewn, these can be used as cloth wipes! Yes, items for the baby don’t always have to come from the baby section as long as you can do your checks.

Information overload is normal

Just like learning anything new, we are bound to feel overwhelmed with all the information at hand. So take one concept at a time. You have nine months to get just the right knowledge about those topics. Whether it’s about Gentle Birth, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Attachment Parenting, and any other concepts you’re inclined to. You can also attend seminars and events other than reading about them. This is perfect not just for better retention but also to find people who are into the same beliefs and advocacies.

Keep your partner/husband/support team in the know

Everything essential you gained from reading, mentioned by your doctor and all the knowledge you have on certain concepts should definitely be shared to your support team. As the old saying goes, “it takes a village to raise the child.” For any support that you need from pregnancy, until birth, newborn stage, toddler stage, and so on, it is best to really involve those important people around you and let them in on the help you need and how you want to raise your child.

This is a life-changing phase of your life. Embrace it and enjoy this rollercoaster experience you’ll be taking on. Don’t worry; you’ll be great.

About the Writer:

Rachel Peralta is a freelance writer who finally took the leap of getting out of her comfort zone in the corporate world for 11 years. She loves traveling, supports the zero-waste movement and strives to practice intentional parenting as a hands-on mom to her active & curious little daughter.

1 Comment

Motherhood, Parenting

How to Create Successful Morning and Evening Routines for Kids

August 15, 2019

Today, I am collaborating with Amanda Tallent from The Zebra to talk about morning and evening routines. Having a consistent routine will definitely set your kids up for success. Predictable routines that work will help you, the busy parent as well. Amanda Tallent generously offered to share her morning and evening routine printables with my readers. If you want to create a new morning or evening routine for your children and don’t know where to start, keep reading for some tips and don’t forget to grab these free resources before you leave!

Before we get to the tips and tricks, I want to introduce Amanda. Amanda Tallent is a content creator for The Zebra and develops helpful resources for families. Her passion for creative writing has led her to cover unique topics ranging from business to lifestyle. She calls Austin, TX home and enjoys crafting, decorating and traveling in her spare time.

Time goes by quickly and as our kids grow older, they learn new skills each and every day. With new life skills, comes more advanced communication and even a bit of responsibility. No matter what age your child or children might be, there are simple ways to teach valuable skills that grow their independence.

Establishing a routine can be very beneficial for kids of any age. Knowing what expectations are and how to handle a schedule helps set them up for success. From making their bed to picking up their toys, teaching these easy habits can pay off later.

To help encourage your kids in the morning or when getting ready for bed, The Zebra created some printable routine checklists that show common tasks like brushing teeth and getting dressed. To use these printables each day, you can slip them into a pocket protector and use dry erase markers to check off each item.

Rosebud’s Evening Routine

Now that Rosebud is going to preschool it’s more important than ever that I create a consistent evening routine. Since preschool is new for her and she doesn’t attend everyday, I have some flexibility in our routines, but I try to stay as consistent as possible. Here’s our basic afternoon/evening routine.

When I get home from work, we play for 1-2 hours depending on what I’m making for dinner. If the meal involves more preparation, we have less time to play. While I make dinner, she’s either helping me in the kitchen, playing with a sensory bin or having a bit of screen time. I serve dinner between 5 and 6 O’Clock. There are some days when she’s hungry by 4:30, so I may start dinner a little earlier. Since my shift ends in the afternoon, my schedule allows for this.

Rosebud’s Evening Schedule

6 O’Clock: Play time.

6:45: Clean up toys.

I clean up the kitchen, feed the cat and prepare Rosebud’s backpack for the next morning.7:00 Bath time.

Put on pajamas.

Brush teeth.

7:30 Story time.

7:45 Bedtime.

I try to stick to this general schedule, but everything depends on how much work I have to do around the house and what Rosebud and I feel like doing. Sometimes, we skip bath time if Rosebud doesn’t need one. This gives her a bit more play time. Other days, we go out to play after dinner if it was too hot earlier in the day. Rosebud’s not a big fan of the hot weather, so she prefers to go outside later. Outdoor play is important, so everything else on the schedule may get pushed back. Just because bedtime is around 7:45, Rosebud almost never falls asleep that early. She likes me to snuggle with her after stories and I stay with her until she falls asleep. She’s usually asleep by 8:30. I bring a pair of earbuds and listen to an audio book or podcast. I’ve found it’s the only thing that doesn’t keep her awake.

You may have to do a lot of trial and error before you find a routine that works for you. The thing I’ve had to adjust most often is bedtime. Rosebud has always been a night owl, so, I’ve always struggled with getting her to sleep. As we all know, sleep is so important. It can make or break the next day.

Morning Routines

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know that morning routines are a challenge for me. I’ve never been a morning person. I like my sleep and used to constantly hit the snooze button. Since I’ve moved my workouts to the morning, I’ve been better about getting up on time. My biggest challenge is fitting everything in without feeling rushed. However, here are some tips that have helped me.

1. Prepare what you can the night before. Whether it be lunch or your child’s backpack, it saves time to have it ready.

2. Get up a little earlier than normal. I moved my wake up time to 5:30. This gives me an extra half hour to exercise and spend a few minutes working on smaller blog tasks.

3. Avoid hitting the snooze button and get up when the alarm goes off. If you fall back to sleep, you’ll feel worse.

4. Eat a decent breakfast. Even if it’s just a smoothy, it’ll give you some energy.

5. Have your children help with morning tasks if possible. Since Rosebud gets dressed by herself now, I give her her clothes and have her get dressed while I’m doing something else. Little things like this can not only save time, but will help children feel more confident in mastering these skills.

Our Morning Routine

5:30 Wake up.

Do small blog tasks and exercise.

6:00 Shower and get dressed

7:00 Wake up time for Rosebud.

This varies. If she wakes up earlier, it messes with my routine a bit. She either plays with toys while I’m in the shower or watches something on the iPad.

7:05 Rosebud gets dressed.

7:10 Breakfast

7:30 Hair and makeup for me. Rosebud brushes teeth and hair.

7:45 Packing anything we need that wasn’t packed the night before. If I’m making a sandwich, I make it in the morning. If I have a meal that I will have to warm up, I prepare that the night before. I check Rosebud’s backpack.

8:00 Feed the cat.

Then catch up on anything that needs to be done so we can get out the door on time. My routine never runs like clock work, but I can say it’s gotten so much better in the past year.

Printables

To help you with your routines, Amanda has created these free morning and evening routine printables that I have for you today. These printables can help the whole family stay on track and save everyone lots of time and energy by knowing what needs to be done and when. If your evening routine is a challenge or if your morning routine is a nightmare, these printables are definitely for you!

Evening Routine Printable

Morning Routine Printable

What tips and tricks do you use to make your morning or evening routines successful? Tell me in the comments. Also, don’t forget to visit Amanda over at The Zebra where there are many more wonderful resources for families!

2 Comments

Friendship, Motherhood, Parenting

Looking For My Tribe

June 11, 2019

I’m writing this post because of situations I’ve had recently both with coworkers and old friends. One reason I have created this blog is to talk about some of the difficult issues that come up surrounding motherhood. For me, isolation is one of those issues. To be honest, I’ve never really fit in anywhere. I’ve always had trouble meeting people and making friends. Maybe it’s my shy and introverted personality. Maybe it’s my visual impairment that puts people off. Maybe it’s another flaw in my personality or maybe it’s the world we live in today. Whatever the reason, I’ve never really found my tribe.

This past week, I reached out to an old friend. We exchanged a couple of messages, but the conversation fizzled out pretty quickly. It ended with me asking about his kids and how his work was going. Whenever I hear from this person, there are always excuses about how busy he is, but it’s clear he’s just too busy for me. It’s like that with most interactions I have with people. I make all the effort to keep in touch, but get very little in return.

The Isolation

I hear this from a lot of adults. They feel isolated. It’s hard to make friends and it’s hard to see the ones we have regularly. Another friend and I were talking the other day about how isolating parenting can be. She told me that many of her friends had kids young, so now they are in a completely different stage of parenting. They don’t want to deal with the birthday parties, the baby showers etc. It’s harder to find things in common. I miss the ease of childhood friendships. Kids bond over playing the same sports, liking the same music or it could just be as simple as deciding they will be friends and then sticking to it. Then we all grow up. Now that we have smart phones and the internet, we seemed to have forgotten how to interact with the people around us.

Are we passing our isolation on to our children?

Awkwardness

Rosebud is social by nature. She still has trouble with sharing her toys, but she generally loves to be around other kids. The thing is, she doesn’t have much of an opportunity for that since she is not in childcare. I want her summers to be fun and memorable, so I took her on a few field trips last year. For starters, I took her to the library where they have a play room. Presumably, children can play together there. We spent some time looking at books and playing and hoped another kid would show up. Well, a father and his two kids eventually did, but he sat with his kids outside the room and was clearly waiting for us to leave. It was awkward, so we left.

Hovering

Our next trip was to a small children’s museum. Honestly, it was just a larger preschool classroom that advertises itself as a museum to get funding for their program. Rosebud had a good time playing with the different toys there, but I hoped she’d get to play with other kids. There were a couple other kids her age, but instead of encouraging the kids to play together, the parents hovered and followed the kids from place to place. When I was a kid, the kids played together and the parents would talk. This was true even in new places with new kids. Especially if the place was relatively small and you could see the kids from where ever you were.

Aggression

Our third trip was to a larger museum for children where Rosebud’s favorite thing was a room full of blocks and balls. There was a boy around her age who was there with his brother. They were building a tower with the blocks and then filling it with balls. Rosebud noticed this and started gathering balls for them, but whenever she brought balls over to them, the smaller boy would tell her to go away and that they weren’t playing with her. She was too young at the time to feel the rejection and kept filling buckets of balls for them.

After a while, we went to another room that had different kinds of tunnels with balls. They also had an exhibit where you could keep balls floating in the air. It was basically a cone with air being forced out of it. Anyway, there was another boy around her age and she noticed his dad bouncing balls over the cone. He could keep several going at once which made her laugh. When she noticed the boy, she went over to stand next to him. There was plenty of room for them both to play with the ball machines, but the boy kept hitting her and pushing her away no matter what she did. I kept having her move away from him, but she really want to play with him. After a little while, we decided to leave because I didn’t want the boy to keep being mean to her. Maybe he was the one who should’ve left, but I didn’t want to cause a scene or try to have an awkward conversation with his dad. However I told Rosebud to tell the boy that she didn’t like it when he hit or pushed her. I also told her to stay away from him and that she didn’t have to be around people who were mean to her. While hitting and pushing is developmentally appropriate to a point, as a childcare provider, I’m seeing an over abundance of aggressiveness. That seems to be the first response to everything. Many kids seem to get physical without remorse and I’m convinced that there’s more involved than kids just being kids.

Insecurity

Then one day at our neighborhood playground, Rosebud was enjoying the slide when a father and his four-year-old daughter showed up. While Rosebud was excited to see another kid, I couldn’t wait to leave. I had a quick conversation with the father and we left. While this is what I complain about, I couldn’t help but feel like I needed to get away. First, I wasn’t sure if they wanted the playground to themselves. Then all these things ran through my mind. What would I talk to this guy about while our kids played? What if Rosebud did something to the other child that I didn’t see? What if his daughter did something to Rosebud? What if I had to chase her if she ran off the playground? Sometimes she’d run off and I had to run after her. I didn’t want to do that in front this man who I didn’t know. I didn’t want him to notice my visual impairment and think that I was less of a parent. I didn’t want this stranger to see me make a mistake, so it felt safer for me to leave. Then I wonder if I denied Rosebud an opportunity to make a friend. Will I have to keep doing that?

Final Thoughts and

Questions

This brings me back to the struggle I have with making friends. Am I unintentionally passing it on to her? Before she was born, I thought it’d be easier to make friends as a mom. I thought there’d be play groups and more ways to connect. Of course we’d have something huge in common, being a mother. Then real life happens, insecurities pop up and then motherhood becomes more isolating than ever. Most of the play groups or children’s activities in my area are during the day. Childrens activities and play groups are great places for making mom friends if you are a sahm or have a flexible work schedule. Unfortunately, I’m a working mom with a standard work schedule, so it’s not possible to attend. There are also the logistics of transportation which makes things even more complicated and I usually decide it’s not worth climbing the mountain.

Since I haven’t figured this out yet, I’m posting some questions to you. How do you make friends as a mom? Do you feel isolated or have you found your tribe? How do you facilitate your children making friends? Let me know in the comments.

4 Comments

Blogging, Motherhood

How To Get Through Blogging BurnOut

May 28, 2019

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, I’ve talked about creating a set schedule and sticking to it. Posting on a regular schedule is an important part of a successful blog. That way, your audience knows what to expect. I’ve been trying hard to get my posts out on Tuesdays and Fridays, but things have been different over these past few weeks. I’m lucky to get posts out on time if at all. I know there’s been silence for about two weeks now because honestly I’ve had no motivation to write. I’ve still been actively promoting my blog on social media, updating old affiliate links and creating new pins, but I haven’t done what I love most, writing and creating new content.

My reality is that I’m a working mom and I don’t want every waking moment that I’m not at work to be spent on this blog. While I love blogging, I still need to spend plenty of time with Rosebud and I need time for myself. Time where I can just relax to enjoy a book or a tv show instead of typing away on the keyboard. I’ve worked on my blog almost every night for a year straight and I finally needed a break. I’d look at my long list of post ideas and none of them stood out. Then I felt guilty for feeling unmotivated and lazy. Yeah. I could just drag myself out of bed even earlier again or stay up past midnight to force myself to write another post that my heart isn’t in or I could just take a break and come back refreshed. Obviously, I’ve made the second choice. I wondered if other bloggers were dealing with burn out, so I reached out to one of my mom blogger groups on Facebook. I asked them what to do when I feel overwhelmed with blogging. I asked what I should do when my motivation isn’t there and I just can’t get it together. They gave me some great ideas and I wanted to share them with you.

Reset Your Priorities

Ashley from A Sweet Life with Style.

Totally a newbie here, but I had to really take a step back and reset my priorities. As much as I love blogging and influencing, I had to realize it was taking away from what matters most – my kids and leaving me COMPLETELY overwhelmed. I am still overwhelmed every single day but at least there isn’t guilt of not being with my kids on top of that ! lol no advice.. but definitely can relate!

Take A Break

Stacy from Protecting Your Pennies.

Honestly, I just take a break. Probably not the best thing to do but I do. I’m working now to build up some posts that I can have ready to go and saved that would be applicable at anytime so that I can schedule those if I am having an off week or 2.

Repurpose Old Content

Heather whose blog is still brand new and under construction suggests repurposing old content? Hire out a blog post? I’m struggling with a husband working random hours (nurse; so he’s on 3 days, off 4 and in my hair!), plus one kid in school, the other I’m working with preK stuff till he starts preK this fall. I’m trying to batch work. And getting up early. But take time for you, too. If you’re burnt out you won’t be good to anyone. Write random thoughts about that down (maybe you’ll be able to bring it together for a post of burnout/reviving yourself). Start posts and ideas randomly, as you can, so you have something underway in the future. You can always add to it and then finish it up in weeks like this. Do a quick ‘live’ video for your audience. Something to say hey, I’m a mama, taking some me time but I’ll be back. Update an old post and repost it. I hope some of these ideas are helpful.

Write Just to Write

Kaci from Mykew.net.

Don’t be too hard on yourself because life happens. Maybe try writing just to write vs trying to “write a blog”. I’ve had to do that a couple times and ended up with a couple blog posts at the end of it because I felt like I was being real.

Create A Schedule

Jho from Empowered Moms at Home.

What I did is wake up earlier than the kids. They sleep very late, like 11pm-12 midnight, and wake up late around 10-11am. So I wake up at 7am or try to… Sometimes I wake up at 9am and work on my blog during weekdays. I find it helps that I only publish every other week. I’ll do weekly soon, but for now I can’t put so much since I’m still on the foundation/learning stage. I still am overwhelmed, but having a daily&weekly schedule to follow helps a lot.

Find a Blogging Group

Tanya from The Mama Life.

I am in a wonderful group on Twitter and we do guest blogs and such when we find we are burnt out. It happens more than not. II work a full-time job as well as parent. You get the point. I took a two month break from writing anything but continued to share content on my social network and repost older posts. My traffic hasn’t declined and my audience is understanding….

Write Posts in Advance

Britta from HomeSweetHomeMaker.

When I do get in the mood I write forever 🙂 Last week I wrote 10 blog posts! I also keep a calendar to schedule them out. I do one post each week because that seems to be what I can keep up with. I always do the month in advance, that way if I get in a rut I know that month is at least taken care of. So in May, I’m working on June’s. So if I don’t write at all in May because I wasn’t feeling it, May was already done in April and I still have time before June gets here!!!

I also keep a LONG list of ideas. So if something pops into my mind while I’m driving or shopping I jot it down and keep a list at the end of my calendar. Then when I need an idea I write that in in the calendar. If I can’t get into it when the time comes I’ll push that idea out a few months and pick another topic.

I used to try to write each post as it came to me and that was so stressful. Writing in advance and scheduling my posts is SO. MUCH. EASIER.

I write the article, do the featured image and pin on Canva and add them in, then schedule it. The day or day after it posts, when I have time, I pin it a few times and get it on the share schedules. 🙂

You can’t expect yourself to always be motivated. Find a way to organize things so that it works according to your schedule.

I only have one child and stay at home, but I still have other responsibilities. I spent about 30-90 minutes daily on my blog. I do it with my cup of coffee while my toddler eats breakfast. This is when I do the share threads. I set aside one nap time each week to work on writing. 🙂 That’s it.

Really, it’s all about organization. Once you figure out a schedule it isn’t hard.

I want to thank these amazing bloggers for their suggestions. They gave me the push I needed and gave me inspiration to put this post together. Blogging is more difficult than it looks. There is a lot more involved than most people imagine, but when my creativity is flowing, I really enjoy it. Burnout can exist no matter the job or activity if your life is out of balance. This wonderful post written by Beth from Balancing Bravely lists 8 Surprising Lessons About Burnout that are Essential for Working Mom Success. Is there anything we missed? How do you get through blogging burnout? Tell me in the comments.

13 Comments

Motherhood, Parenting, Self acceptance,

5 Ways Motherhood has Changed Me

May 12, 2019

I want to wish all the mothers out there a happy Mothers Day. For this year’s Mothers Day post, I’m sharing five of the ways that motherhood has changed me.

Before I became a mother, I had all these ideas of what parenting would be like. I care for and teach children every day, so I thought it had prepared me and in some ways, it did. I was comfortable with bottle feeding, changing diapers and soothing crying babies. I had learned about the value of giving children choices and setting appropriate limits. I had discovered cool toys and activities that I wanted my children to have. I saw wonderful children’s books that I wanted to read to them.

The thing with childcare is that the children leave at the end of the day. I didn’t have to deal with the sleepless nights, the endless work and the joys and challenges of parenting. I hadn’t grasped the overwhelming idea of having another human being truly depending on you for everything. The instant I found out I was pregnant, my life had completely changed. Here are just a few of the ways motherhood has changed me.

More Empathetic

Becoming a mother has given me a different perspective and makes me a better childcare provider. I am much more empathetic towards other parents. I used to be really judgmental. I thought I’d be one of those parents who wouldn’t let their kids watch much tv. I was going to bottle feed and who cares. My baby wasn’t going to have a pacifier. My baby would sleep in her own crib. You get the picture. My reality after Rosebud was born was completely different. During my pregnancy, I had done some research and decided to breast-feed. My baby eventually got a pacifier because I was tired of being one. She slept with me because she refused to sleep by herself in her crib. My choices were sleep or insanity. I chose sleep. Unfortunately, she gets more screen time than I’d like. I need to get things done around the house and sometimes I just need a breather and it keeps her occupied.

Now when other parents come in with these struggles, I understand. When moms come in with really small bottles of milk because it’s all they’ve pumped, I can empathize. When they want their babies pace fed, I get it. When a single mom lets her kid watch tv every night because she needs to get stuff done or just relax, I’m right there with her. When a parent doesn’t want to hear that something is wrong with her child, I completely understand. While the educator part of me wants to help that child as soon as possible, the parent part empathizes with the denial and wishing it wasn’t true.

More Cautious

Before Rosebud, I was more likely to step out of my comfort zone and take risks, but I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more anxious now. I worry about everything, especially the future. I remember my high school days where I was excited to be going off to college. I went across the country to start over in a totally new place. I was more confident, more independent and full of hope.When things didn’t work out there, I was crushed, but I picked myself up and returned to a local college. After lots of volunteering, I eventually got a job and then my life basically stayed the same for several years until Rosebud was born. Back in high school I did some traveling as well and that stopped.

I don’t remember the last time I went anywhere alone. I’m less confident about applying for jobs, meeting new people or trying new things. I have Rosebud to think about now and I think about how everything I do might effect her. I admit, I can go overboard. I’ve tried to make a lot of changes, but I’m not as confident as I was before. My anxiety plays a big part in that. I am a work in progress. Pushing through the hard stuff is an important thing that we all need to model for our children.

More Aware of Time

After I became a mom, I suddenly realized, I didn’t have any time to myself anymore. I insisted that I’d be showering everyday and I never gave that up. I needed that to feel like myself, so when Rosebud was a baby, I put her in the bouncer in the bathroom while I showered. I heard other mothers say how they could barely get a shower in and I decided that wasn’t going to be me. My time slipped away in other ways. I barely could write in my journal anymore. I rarely watch tv now. My crafting hobbies have pretty much disappeared. There are a ton of cleaning projects I’d like to tackle, but when? My time is divided three ways. There’s Rosebud, my day job and the blog. Other than that, there’s a few hours of sleep in between. I will never take good sleep or free time for granted again. When I have time to write in my journal or take a ceramics class, I enjoy it so much more now.

I Will Not Settle

When I found out I was pregnant, I decided that I could never settle. This applies to all areas of my life. I couldn’t settle for a bad relationship because I didn’t want my daughter to have bad relationships as an adult. I want her to see a healthy relationship. Two people that treat each other with respect, looking out for each other and supporting each other. I didn’t want her to grow up seeing constant fighting or a relationship that was distant and unhappy. I want Rosebud’s childhood to be filled with happy memories, not painful ones.

I can’t settle in my career. I need to find something I truly enjoy. Childcare has taken it’s tole since Rosebud was born. While I have become a more empathetic childcare provider, I have become a far less patient one. My exhaustion of 24-7 childcare, office politics and my wish to be home with Rosebud have pushed me to the tipping point. That’s why I’ve been working so hard to find something else. I want Rosebud to know that she doesn’t have to settle either. It’s hard when you have to balance responsibility with what you know is right in your heart.

I Trust Myself

I’ve heard a lot of parenting advice over the past three years and you know where I’ve found the solutions? From my own gut instincts. Since becoming a mother, I have learned to trust myself. People said I was creating bad habits by letting Rosebud sleep with me. At fifteen months, she transitioned into her own bed and has been a great sleeper. In my heart I knew she was ready. I followed my own instincts and it worked out. The same went for potty training. I got endless advice and pressure and I tried so many things. Eventually I gave up. Yes, I gave up. I said, we aren’t doing this right now. I told her that when she was ready to use the potty to let me know. A few weeks later, she came to me and said she wanted to use big girl panties. A week later, she told me she didn’t want the night time diaper any more. She’s been dry ever since. I always thought she’d do it when she was ready and she did. I felt guilty for not following my instincts and caving in from outside pressures, but I learned an important lesson.

I’ve applied this to other areas of my life. If I get a weird vibe about a situation, I trust myself instead of trying to make excuses or staying to be polite. I haven’t always been good at advocating for myself, but if something is wrong, I am starting to speak up about it. It’s amazing how we get conditioned to ignore our inner voice. We need that guidance, especially when we are parents.

Motherhood has changed me in so many ways. Everything from simple daily routines to being more emotional about certain things. Some changes are for good and others not so much, but I wouldn’t change a thing about Rosebud. I’m so glad she came into my life. How has being a parent changed you? Tell me in the comments.

5 Comments

Gift Giving, Memories, Motherhood, Parenting

What Mothers Really Want for Mothers Day

April 30, 2019

For Mothers Day, I want to sleep in. When I wake up, I want a nice breakfast. Then I want to spend the rest of the morning relaxing and enjoying the spring weather. I want to have time to write in my journal and get absorbed in a good book. I’d also like to spend time with Rosebud, just being her mom and not having to worry about anything. I’d love to end the day with a bubble bath and maybe watching a little tv. It’s not too much to ask, right?

I got thinking. What do other mothers want? I posed this question to a group of moms and here’s what they said. The good news is that most of these things don’t cost a penny. there might be a little work involved, but the moms in your life will love you for it. Here’s what we really want this mothers day!

More Sleep
Cendu
This mom wants just one day to sleep in til noon 😍
You can find her over at Cendu Param.com.
Jacalyn from StopYellingPlease.com.

To sleep in on the weekends like my husband. No one asking me “what should the baby eat for breakfast” or “where are my shoes?” Just to sleep in without interruption and without my body telling me it’s 6 AM and time to get up.

Pamela
To sleep in, and then when I wake up, lots of kisses and a latte in bed.
Check out her blog at Brooklyn Farm Girl.com.

A Clean House
Mercedes from Mom To Girls.com.
I’d like to have a clean house, laundry put away, a good meal, and some time to relax in a bubble bath 😊

Mallory from Mom of War Hear My Roar.
I would absolutely LOVE for someone to do the dishes and the laundry. I don’t mean put the dishes in the sink that morning and… BOOM… done. But also start and empty the clean dishwasher and put the 100 cups that are used throughout the day back in there.
Victoria
I’d like a day where my house is clean and I’m not cleaning it, dinner is made and fresh flowers bought for me. Also, coffee made for me by my kids when I’d like.Xoxo
You can find Victoria at TitleFreeMom.com.

Liz from TheLifeYouDesign.com.
What I honestly want more than anything. I want a day WITH my husband and daughter out of the house. I want to celebrate a mother by being a mother. However while we are gone, I want a professional cleaning service to deep-clean my home and I want to order dinner for delivery and eat on paper plates so there are no dishes.

A Vacation
Kristenne
Aaah… A vacation from my family. Even just for 24 hours. A staycation at a 5-star hotel, with room service massage, a sauna, a pool, a buffet. Of course, I’d probably call a sitter or have my husband take time off work. As a WAHM, taking time out of the house without our baby is a luxury.

You can find her at MisisBlog.com
Hayley
To go somewhere memorable with my family, like a day out or travel to somewhere exotic! Making special memories would be a great Mother’s Day gift for me!
Hailey blogs over at Life As A Butterfly.

Kid Free Time

Mai from the Cheerful Nomads.

Alone time with my husband like we used to. I can’t remember the last time the two of us went out without the kids!

Talya
A trip to Target/Home Goods/anywhere really, sans kids!! With no time limit!!!
You can find her blog at The Mother Fix.

Family Time

Mallory from Mama On Parade.
I just don’t want to do anything for mother’s day. No dishes, no laundry, no work. Just have a fun and relaxing day with my family.

Emma
I just want a day with my own little family where I don’t have to worry about cooking, cleaning, or laundry. With my husband’s work schedule it’s hard to find the time to just have a fun day as a family, so I ask for this each year.
You can find Emma’s blog here at Muddy Boots And Diamonds.com.

Aimee from MommyBabyLife.com.
Call me crazy, but I do enjoy spending Mother’s Day with my family. My husband works a lot so we don’t usually have a lot of quality time with all 5 of us. I like to go to a small town, walk around the shops – picking out a few gifts for myself of course – and get lunch.

Relaxation
Shannon
A stiff drink! No, seriously, a pretty drink with an umbrella sitting outside in my lounge chair the radio blasting, kids playing, and the hubs grilling supper.

Find Shannon over at Southern Blessed Chaos.

Jessica from CareFreeMermaid.com.
Just something simple like a Starbucks brought to me in the morning 😉 & a nice quiet, peaceful bath with a glass of wine at night!

Tricia
I want to have a day where I can read a book, drink a glass of wine, or be lazy and not listen to my kids argue about who ate the last bowl of cereal!

Tricia can be found at HabibiHouse.net.

Lani from LaniOnLife.com.
I want a day at the spa; massage and facial. A day to take care of and focus on me with no stress or worries.

Jessica from Adventuring to Neverland.
A SPA DAY…. Not just a service, but an entire day. I know it’s wishful thinking, butttttt goodness wouldn’t that be graaaaand?!

Something for Mom
Jho
I want to have a Mother’s Day to pamper myself, but I thought of something else. I never had the chance to really pamper my mom, so perhaps it’s that time of the year where kids do something for their moms. Since my kids are still too small to do something grand for me, lol, I’d do something for my mom. And I hope that’ll make me feel good and set a good example for my kids.

Check out her blog, Empowered Moms At Home.

A Day Free From Planning
Lisa from Biscuits and Grading.
I want to spend the day outside. I want to go hike and bike the local trails with the coffee that my husband went out of his way to buy me. I want to eat a lunch (that he picked up) at the park with my family. I mostly just want to not have to plan one single thing. As a mom, all I do is plan and coordinate. I want a complete 24 hour reprieve from planning.

Angel
It’d be perfect to have a day of family adventure all planned out without me being the one picking the place. Surprise me and spoil me on Mother’s Day.

Visit Angel’s blog Mommying Differently.

Making Memories
Taylor from Accomplished Family.
I’d love for my husband to take time figuring out something that my girls could be involved in to make this mother’s day memorable. Doesn’t have to cost! I’m thinking a handmade card or even a painted rock. I’d want to spend time with my family. I’d love to go for a long walk or drive.

Jennifer
My kids are older and I don’t get to see some of them as often as I would like. For Mother’s Day I would love a mother’s necklace, but not initials or birth stones. I want a charm that each one has picked to represent who they are so I could carry around a piece of them always.
Find Jennifer atOneHoppyMomma.com.

Cooking

Lacy from Uplifted Simplicity.
My favorite gift is a day outside gardening and grilling with my family. We love to plant flowers in the afternoon and then eat whatever my husband has grilled up for dinner.

Jacqueline from MomMoneyMap.com.
I would want my husband to cook us a meal from scratch. No frozen pizzas or meals that just have to be heated in the oven, I want to see him chop the vegetables, and cook the grains and meat. A homemade pie couldn’t hurt either!

The Perfect Mothers Day
Stacy
My perfect Mother’s Day would be breakfast in bed with lots of coffee, time to take a bubble bath and get dressed in peace, A nice lunch with a fun family activity. That afternoon I would get some quiet time or a nap. A mix of some much needed “me time” and family time is the perfect Mother’s Day to me.
Find Stacy over at Protecting Your Pennies.

Jamilyn from SideKick Mama.
My perfect Mother’s day would be a full night’s sleep (we have a baby) and waking up to a clean house and finished flooring! We are so close to completing our kitchen flooring. It definitely would be nice to have it done!

Audrey from RosesRompers.com.
I would love a full night of sleep and having someone else cook breakfast for me. AND do the dishes afterwards. Gluten-free healthy pancakes please! And also having the house cleaned thoroughly for me. And at night, a long soak in the bathroom with a book by my favorite author!

Appreciation
Alexandria from Always Us.
Appreciation for all the things mamas do!
Check out her Gift Guide for Mothers Day 2019.

Erin from Lullaby Lark.
I made the decision to put my career on hold to stay home and raise my children, one of whom has special needs. I would love for my family to show me that what I do matters to them, that I’m making a difference.
Ayesha from WFHMama sums it up nicely!
I want Mother’s to be celebrated on more than just one day out of the year. ❤️

To summarize, we want plenty of sleep, a clean house, home cooked meals, relaxation, fun family time and memories that last a life time. Above all, we want to know that we are loved and appreciated. What will you be doing for the moms in your life this Mothers Day? Tell me in the comments.

13 Comments