May, 2018 - A Flourishing Rose

Month: May 2018

Activities, Parenting, Toddlers, Uncategorized

Our Favorite Fun Outdoor Activities for Toddlers

May 30, 2018

I am so happy that we’ve been able to spend so much time outside these past couple of weeks. This past winter felt like it would never end. Rosebud loves being outside. She loves all the sights and sounds, going for walks and exploring nature. She loves pointing out birds, bugs, flowers and anything else she sees. I had a huge headache today, but after I got home from work, we spent some time outside and I noticed that my headache went away. I was able to just enjoy being outside and watching Rosebud play in the water table.

The Water Table

Playing in water has to be her absolute favorite activity outside. She is a big fan of anything with water. She could be swimming in the pool, playing in the water table, jumping in a puddle or trying to take the hose while we water the plants. I’ve put a bunch of toys in the water table to keep her interested. As it suddenly has gotten hot, splashing in the water table is a good way to cool off. There is a boat, different sized rubber ducks, round and heart shaped stacking cups and plastic fish. She loves to give the duckies rides on the parts of the water table that move.

The Trampoline

I’ve wanted to by Rosebud a climber for a while because we don’t have much for her to climb on, but since the good ones are expensive, I settled for a trampoline. She loves to jump and it’s good exercise. We’ve had this one set up for a few days and she loves it so far. She likes going in and out of the enclosure, but she likes jumping on it as well. The only down side is it doesn’t have a handle for her to hold while she jumps so it will take her longer to get the hang of it, but it should last her a couple of years. I love trampolines because they help the kids get their energy out. the one I originally bought is no longer available, but here is the closest I could find.

Bubbles

Bubbles is another of Rosebud’s favorites. It’s especially fun for her on a windy day when she can chase the bubbles around the yard. Bubbles are great because they are simple, inexpensive and entertaining for the little ones.

Ball Games

Rosebud’s new obsession is soccer. Well, her version of soccer which is chasing the ball around and occasionally kicking it or just carrying the ball. I got her a soccer ball because she got so excited whenever she’d see one in someone else’s yard or at the store. She loves any kind of ball though. She also has one of those hop along balls with the handle. She hasn’t mastered the skill of sitting on it and bouncing, but she enjoys kicking it and spinning it around. Lately she’s been interested in games with us. She’ll have us stand around and kick the ball back and forth. Yesterday she told me, “fetch” after she threw the ball. She uses her imagination and makes up games as we go along and of course she always wins.

Sand Play

I wrote about sand play in this Post so I will only mention it briefly. I had to include it though because most of Rosebud’s time outside is spent playing in the sand. She’s the happiest when she is making a mess. She could be in the sand box dumping buckets of sand, putting sand in her wagon or sitting in the middle of a sand pile in the yard. Over the past few weeks, we have worked on making sand castles, looking for treasures in the sand and even writing letters and making shapes. We are looking forward to many more outside adventures this summer.

What are your favorite outdoor activities? Tell me in the comments.

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Activities, Memories, Motherhood, Parenting

5 Reasons To Cook With Kids

May 26, 2018

I’ve been cooking with Rosebud since she could sit in her high chair. Back then she wasn’t directly involved with the cooking, but she sat in the kitchen observing everything I was doing. I put spoons, measuring cups, a mixing bowl and pretend food on her tray which kept her occupied as I chopped vegetables, mixed cake badder or mashed potatoes. I’d show her the foods and let her sample them as she got older. I remember times when I’d read a recipe, tell her the ingredients we needed to add and she’d repeat after me. Now that she’s a toddler, she’s an active participant. She counts and takes out the eggs, mixes cookie dough or fills the measuring cups and spoons to scoop and pour the ingredients. Her favorite saying these days is, “I try it.” She wants to do and try everything!

1. Cooking builds vocabulary

Kids can learn names of foods, spices and and the equipment and utensils we use to cook with. They can learn opposites. Hot and cold, wet and dry etc. You can talk about foods being sour, sweet, salty or bitter. You can talk about colors, shapes and textures of the food. If your child is older, reading the recipe can help build vocabulary as well. Yesterday as we were mixing together some sugar, butter and eggs for cookie dough, Rosebud told me, we need to hatch these eggs. At first I didn’t know what she was talking about, but then it hit me that to her cracking the eggs is hatching them.

2. Cooking teaches math and science

Kids can learn about temperature. Hot vs. cold. What happens when ingredients warm up, boil or are frozen? They can learn about measurement by using measuring cups and spoons. They can learn about consistency. What happens if we add water or flour? They can learn about plants and where food comes from. What is inside an apple or a pepper? The possibilities for teaching concepts and experiments in the kitchen are endless.

3. Trying new things

When kids help make choices about their food, they are more likely to try new things. In the preschool class where I work, we participate in this program where a nutritionist comes in to teach the children about healthy eating and where food comes from. There is a garden where she takes them to get vegetables and it is surprising how many new vegetables they have tried because they have picked the vegetables themselves. We’ve also done a bit of baking in preschool. The kids help add ingredients, mix badder and once we even allowed them to help us with cutting up fruits for fruit salad. This makes them so excited about afternoon snack. They can’t wait to try what they’ve made and share it with their families. Rosebud loves to try bites of vegetables or fruits when I chop them up for salads. I also ask her which fruits and vegetables she wants when we are grocery shopping. She loves seeing the food and pointing out what she wants. I’ve never seen another kid get so excited about broccoli.

4. It’s healthier

When you are making a home cooked meal, you know every ingredient that is in your food. This is obviously healthier than a frozen or fast food meal. Even if you are baking treats, that is healthier than the prepackaged snacks. Not to mention trying to decode the nutrition labels. For many families there is little time to prepare a meal so frozen may be the way to go on nights when you have to be in several places at once or do a million things. Nothing beats the convenience of prepared meals. However, I try to avoid those meals when I can especially for Rosebud because I like knowing what is in her food. I also want her to like the taste of foods that don’t come in a can or box. She enjoys fresh fruits, veggies and home cooked food.

5. Cooking can be together time

I like when Rosebud stays in the kitchen with me while I cook. If she’s helping me, she’s learning about food and having fun. We can spend the time talking or sometimes she will pretend to cook with her play foods or sit in her chair with crayons and a notepad. I don’t get to spend much time with Rosebud on week nights so I try to find ways to include her in what I’m doing. On other nights, she prefers to have screen time while I make dinner and wash dishes. It’s not the greatest option, but sometimes it’s the only way to get things done. I try to maintain a balance and create ways to spend time together even when I have endless chores to do. I find that cooking usually interests kids and great memories can be made from it. I have happy memories of baking with my grandmother when I was little and hopefully one day Rosebud will remember cooking with me.

Do you like cooking with your kids? What are your favorite kid friendly recipes? Tell me in the comments.

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Awareness, Education, Parenting

A Butterfly In the Clouds

May 19, 2018

This weekend, my heart is a little heavy because of the events and social media posts I saw yesterday. First, there was another school shooting as most people in the US already know. While I don’t live anywhere near where the shooting happened, I wonder what the future holds. What kind of world do we live in where our kids can’t even be safe going to school? When I was a kid, I never thought of anyone bringing a gun to school. School shootings weren’t heard of. Now it seems as though there’s at least one every month. A friend of mine who grew up in northern Maine where hunting is quite common told me about how people would often have guns in the back of their trucks, but she never feared for her safety. Her peers didn’t play with guns and they certainly never brought them into school to shoot people. I think far too many people have access to guns that they shouldn’t have, but I don’t think that’s the entire issue. In my opinion, we don’t pay enough attention to mental health and more specifically why there are so many mental health issues in our children. We need to get to the root cause if we ever are going to stop this.

I’m not just talking about major mental illnesses. I’m not trying to further stigmatize an entire population of people because not everyone with a mental health diagnosis is violent. What I’m talking about is the disconnect between people and valuing themselves and others. It’s like there is no consideration of life. Other people’s lives don’t matter especially if those lives are different than your own. We need to find out why our children are so depressed. Why do most of us feel so alone when this is the era of connectedness? Of course most of those connections are superficial and I think many of the problems stem from that. Out of all our connections online, how many of them do we talk to on a regular basis? How many of them do we see in person? I’ve read some articles that say that parents spend more time with their children now than ever before, but I don’t see how that could be true. Maybe they spend more time in the same physical space, but it seems the disconnect is more apparent than ever.

I saw a post yesterday on Facebook about one of the local high schools. According to this person’s experience, many of the teens are getting bullied. They get called fat, smelly and unwanted. Some students scream white power in the hallways and from her account an autistic person was pushed down the stairs and that was just bits and pieces of her post. One commenter mentioned that this was happening in high schools everywhere. High school is no picnic for most people, but this is really sad and scary.

There is so much hate out there. I know it has probably always been there, but I’ve never noticed it as much. Maybe it’s because I’m from a relatively small place. Maybe it’s because people never had this many avenues to express it. I don’t know if this is the way people have always been behind closed doors, but I am noticing that people seem to be more comfortable expressing it in public. Social media can be a great thing and I see lots of positivity being spread every day. It’s a great way to find like minded people. Unfortunately, the people that have hate in their hearts can find like minded people as well and there is strength in numbers.

One of my Facebook friends posted An experience she had during her child’s field day activities. She is a blind woman who happened to be interacting with her child and and the group of children she was hanging out with. Some of the children were making negative comments so my friend intervened and encouraged them to say positive things to each other. There’s nothing wrong with that. I wouldn’t like my daughter saying hurtful things to others. Anyway, a couple of the parents had an issue with this and were talking amongst themselves about how blind people should stay at home and stop getting in the middle of everything. One of the mothers said that she couldn’t believe the government gave them money every month and they should stop strutting around. I have paraphrased some of the post, but it was really hateful. If you are interested, you should read it because she actually has a positive spin on it and isn’t letting it get her down.

Is it just me or are people more entitled than ever? Why do they feel the need to get involved in other people’s business when it doesn’t effect them? One example that comes to mind is when a friend of mine worked with people who have intellectual disabilities. Part of her job was to go grocery shopping with them. She asked one of her clients which brand of catsup he wanted. A customer next to them jumped in and asked why she’d bother to ask him because he won’t know the difference. “Why don’t you just get him whatever?” My friend explained that she always asks her clients about their preferences and yes in a lot of cases, they do know the difference.My first thought was, mind your own business! How is it really effecting his day? What does it matter to him what brand of catsup the disabled guy gets? Why does this hateful guy care whether he knows the difference or not? He doesn’t care nor does he want to be educated. He got the urge to be hateful and it made him feel better to treat others badly. He insulted the guy’s intelligence and continued to talk about him as if he wasn’t even there standing in front of him. I wonder how he would feel if he were the one who needed help shopping for groceries. Would he want to be given the choice or would he want everyone to assume he wouldn’t know the difference? This stuff makes me angry and just think, these are the people raising the next generation.

I often see people who are making positive changes in the world. In a lot of ways, things are better than they were in the past, but then you see these seeds of hatred. It moves us two steps backwards every time it springs to the surface. It’s like a stain you can’t get rid of. You wash it until it’s faint, but you always know it’s there. There’s always one tiny speck that won’t disappear. Today Rosebud said, “I’m a butterfly with wings. I jump like this. I jump right up into the clouds.” Doesn’t that sound like a better place to be? A butterfly flying through the clouds?

Butterflies, blooming flowers and clouds.

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Parenting

Thank You, Mom

May 16, 2018

I wanted to write this entry on Mothers Day, but I was spending time with my mom and Rosebud. My mom came over for the afternoon and made me a floral arrangement for my door. Rosebud and I took her out to dinner. I’ve been thinking about all the lessons my mom has taught me and the things she has done for me over the years. Here are just a few of them.

Floral Arrangement

1. She taught me to be strong. She raised my brothers and I as a single mother. She always worked full-time, made home cooked meals, spent time with us while taking care of her parents. Now that I am a single mom who works while raising a child and doing my best to create a loving home for her, I appreciate what my mom did even more. Sometimes she seemed stressed and impatient back then and now I’m the one who gets stressed and impatient. Now I understand why. When you’re running late for work, when you just want to get dinner on the table or when you just want a quiet moment to yourself. When you live for your kids hugs and laughter, but at the same time you live for a brief period of time when you can relax.

2. She was my biggest advocate. At school when teachers couldn’t or wouldn’t teach me. When the school’s administration would argue about paying for adaptive technology. When some people thought I’d be better educated if I were sent to a school out of state. She spoke out. She got them to give me what I needed and she knew and believed I’d be better off living at home with my family. I’d be a completely different person today if she hadn’t advocated for me in this way. She hasn’t been the best at speaking up for herself and often let people treat her poorly, but she’s a mama bear when it comes to getting her children what they need. So she has taught me two things. First to advocate for my own children and second, to advocate for myself and not let others walk all over me. That has been the case for a long time and I am doing the best to break that cycle for myself, but most of all for Rosebud.

3. She reminds me everyday to be kind. I’ll admit I’m pretty jaded and don’t have much faith in most people. I would do anything for those close to my heart, but it takes me a long time to build trust. My mom on the other hand, believes the best in everyone. She’s always the first to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, a second chance or a helping hand. I usually get annoyed with her over this because she’s kind to people over and over again, but then she is disappointed when they don’t treat her with kindness in return. I can appreciate her kindness and generosity and feel it has made a huge impact on the way I am raising Rosebud. I focus a lot on empathy, doing things for others, being polite etc. Sometimes a little kindness goes a long way and in today’s society we could definitely use a little more kindness.

4. She instilled the love of gift giving. Gift giving has always been important to me. when I read the book of the five love languages, I discovered that my love language is gifts. This stems from my childhood. My mom has always been a gift giver. She goes all out on Christmas and often buys little gifts just because. That’s how I learned to show my love and appreciation. Now I’m the one going all out on holidays and buying gifts just because. If I see something that someone in my life would love, I have to get it for them. It means a lot to me to make them smile and for me a gift is usually tied to a memory. So even if I no longer have contact with a person but think of them fondly, I still have their gift and the memory.

5. She’s given me a strong work ethic. I believe that in order to get anywhere, you need to work hard. My mom has always been a worker and has devoted so much time and energy to her jobs over the years. I think there is an amazing sense of pride and accomplishment when you can look at the things you have and know that you got them because you worked for them. You made them happen! I’ve gotten the jobs I’ve had because I worked hard to prove myself. Often times without pay in the beginning. I’m able to maintain my home, care for my pets and provide for Rosebud because I work hard. I am also working hard to change my career path and better myself. These things take time and dedication. I don’t believe in sitting around and waiting for things to come to me. You have to put out the effort and make your own opportunities. While I have a strong work ethic like my mom’s, I’ve come to realize the importance of creating a work life balance. It’s very important to me that I spend as much time as possible with Rosebud. She’ll only be little once and this time is so precious.

In reality, all of parenting is a balancing act. If you work, you have to balance between work and family. If you stay at home, you have to balance between your kids and seeing yourself as a whole being instead of just someone’s mom. Then when it comes to your own parents, you have to take the lessons they taught you and apply them in your own parenting. Sometimes that means leaving some of those lessons behind. Maybe there’s something you want to do better. Maybe there’s something you wish your parents had done that you are now doing with your own children. These things can bring up complicated feelings and can be difficult to sort out.

I want to end this entry by thanking my mom for being there for me all these years. Thank you for supporting me even when we didn’t agree. Thank you for caring for Rosebud. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for loving me even when I’m not easy to be around. Thank you for all the little things you do day after day that make my life just a little easier. They are very much appreciated.

My mom would never want a picture of herself on here so I will share another floral arrangement she made for me. She loves to make these and I like how it is her way of being creative. She doesn’t bring out her creative side too often.

Easter Floral Arrangement

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Activities, Art

Rolling Pin Painting

May 11, 2018

Here is another simple painting activity you can do with toddlers.

All you do is put a couple globs of paint on a piece of paper and fold it in half. You can use two or more colors and see how they mix or you can stick with one. Then have your child role the rolling pin back and forth over the paper. Open the paper and see the surprise painting. It’s that simple. Rosebud could’ve done more, but we only did two and each of them came out totally different.

The butterfly Just a design

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Awareness, Education

Ironically Unappreciated

May 9, 2018

It’s ironic that it’s teacher appreciation day, but I don’t feel appreciated. In fact, I’m feeling like the worst human on the planet. My workplace is a sad place to be. There have been so many teachers coming and going over the past year and soon, there will be more leaving. Honestly, I’m worried about how things will be when the ones who are closest to me are gone. There was some of that sadness floating around today. Although, I can’t get into specifics, but some news I got set the tone for the day. It also was a rough day for the kids. They were tired, some were not feeling well and others kept having accidents.

The cherry on top happened as I was about to leave. One parent was talking to my co-teacher. The parent was saying how much her little girl loves Miss J and Miss T, but she isn’t a fan of Miss D which is myself. When she realized I was overhearing the conversation, she started whispering so I didn’t hear everything else that was said, but I thought it was very rude and disrespectful to have this conversation. If you’re gonna talk about me when I’m in ear shot, say it to my face. I’m not surprised this kid doesn’t like me. Our personalities are like oil and water. She can be very bossy, demanding and inserts herself in everyone’s business. Sometimes you forget she’s only three. The thing is, I’ve never done anything wrong where she’s concerned. I get frustrated when I have to repeat myself ten times telling her to go to the bathroom or not to take toys from her friends. I don’t want to dislike her or her to dislike me. I want to show her that she can’t take toys from her friends so that she will grow up getting along with others. I want her to learn how to successfully interact with her peers. I don’t get on her about being kind to her friends to pick on her. I tell her to go to the bathroom because I don’t want her to piss herself and when she doesn’t listen to me, I tell her again. It’s not because it’s fun for me. It’s in all of our best interests for her to listen to e and get in the bathroom before it’s too late. When I tell her these things, she tells me not to yell at her and to be quiet.

The reality is that she doesn’t like anyone who puts boundaries in place because there seem to be very few for her at home. The problem is that parents legitimately get pissed off if you tell their children what to do. They leave these kids in our care, but at the same time, they treat us like inexperienced babysitters. Second class citizens in some cases. Just last week, there was a parent who told us that she wasn’t sure if she was going to come and pick up her sick child. Who does that? Eventually she did, but she argued with us about it. We had a parent complain because supposedly one of our teachers insinuated she was a bad parent which was completely untrue. That conversation had three witnesses. There was even a schedule change over that complaint.

When I was growing up, parents almost sided with the teacher and I know that approach is wrong. I’ve been in a couple situations where what I was saying was true, but my family believed the teacher instead. Partially because that’s the way things were done and partially because they trusted that the teacher was telling the truth. There are always bad apples though and situations where that doesn’t work. So I am glad that children have a stronger voice now, but it has done a complete shift. Now the teachers are the ones who can’t be trusted at least in the eyes of the parents. I believe there has to be a middle ground where everyone’s voice can be heard.

On more days than not, I feel like early childhood education was the wrong choice for me. I chose this field so I could teach children, be a positive role model and to make the children feel like they could be safe in any classroom I worked in. I had many negative bordering on abusive experiences when I attended a preschool. I wanted to ensure that nothing like that happened for the children in my care. It’s hurtful to get complaints especially when they are unfounded. It’s heartbreaking and makes you doubt your teaching ability and sometimes if you are a parent yourself, you start to wonder about your parenting abilities as well. You even start to wonder about your self worth and if you should be doing something different. Over the years, I’ve gotten a couple of complaints. They were mostly mild like this one, but it’s so easy to ruin someone’s reputation and career.

I’m generally shy so talking to parents has always been difficult for me. I’m much better at making connections with the children. I can count on one hand how many genuine connections I’ve made with a family and I’ve been in this field for over a decade. I’m amazed at some of my coworkers who seem to be able to make a connection with almost any family and have the ability to put people at ease. I know part of my problem is that I’ve never been good at pretense. I’ve found that more and more, you have to pretend because if you don’t, people will complain. I miss the days when we had time to actually play with children, plan cool activities and actually follow through with them and weren’t so caught up in rules, regulations and assessments. I think we’ve lost sight of what is important. We’ve lost sight of having fun and building relationships. Now there is so much pressure and there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Parents are spending less time with their children and a lot of things that used to be taught in the home are falling on us as well.

I’m at the point where I need to fix what I see as my biggest and most costly mistake. I’ve spent so much time, money and tears on this career path and now I need a way out. I need this change for my mental and physical health and for the relationship with my daughter. I’m in preschool teacher mode all the time. I want to just be mom for a change.

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Activities, Education, Parenting

Five Benefits of Playing in the Sand

May 7, 2018

I think I can officially say spring has finally come here in the northeast and I’m so excited that we’ve been able to spend plenty of time outside. Just last week, I bought some new sand for Rosebud and refilled the sand box. I threw in some buckets, shovels and molds. It keeps her busy for a while. When I was a kid, I spent hours in the sand box so it’s no surprise that she likes it as well. There are so many reasons to encourage kids to play with sand. Here are five of them.

1. It helps with fine motor skills.

Scooping, pouring, sifting and sculpting the sand helps build strength and is practice for skills they will need later. Not to mention scooping, pouring and measuring can be connected with math concepts.

2. They can be creative.

Sand can go with almost any theme. You can use it for a beach theme with shells, toy fish and rocks. You can use it for an animal theme with logs, toy animals and other natural items. Sand goes with cars and trucks, in an outside kitchen and even in art. Yesterday, Rosebud was pretending to serve ice cream one minute, building a sand castle the next and then decided to look for rocks and other treasures.

3. It’s a sensory experience.

One of the things I hear a lot when people talk about going to the beach is their feet on the sand. It’s part of being connected with nature. I think that urge for kids is even stronger. I work with a lot of kids with special needs. I’m not a big fan of that term, but I’ll use it here to keep things simple. Many of these children find playing in the sand calming. Some children that cannot stay put for even two minutes will stay at the sand tray or sit in the sand box for 20 minutes plus. They are able to immerse themselves into the activity because it is open ended. There are no expectations for what is right or wrong. They can experiment as they wish.

4. It’s scientific.

Sand can be experimented with. It doesn’t always remain in the same state. Rosebud discovered that her sand in the sand box is dry because we keep it covered at night. The sand is fine. It slips through your hands and you can’t sculpt with it. However, we also have this wagon that is full of last years sand that was very wet. It has dried out quite a bit, but it is still wet enough to sculpt with. Rosebud and I were having fun seeing what we could make. We filled buckets and discovered that the sand could be dumped out and keep it’s shape. We could build sand castles that would stay together. We didn’t need a mold. This sand was heavier and stickier. Experimenting and investigating the results is what our little scientists do every day.

5. It’s fun.

Playing in the dirt is fun. Being in nature is fun. Making a huge mess is fun and the best part is most of it stays outside so I don’t have to clean it up. Watching Rosebud enjoy herself was the most fun for me. I think making a mess and seeing what she can do with the sand is the most fun for her. Why not see what happens when we fling sand outside of the sand box? Why not fill the wheelbarrow and dump it in other parts of the yard? Never mind that I just refilled it. Why not try dumping the water bottle in the sand box and see what happens? I drew the line at flinging the sand and dumping the water, but the important thing is spending quality time together. That’s the best thing about our outside time. We are not distracted by the normal things that distract us inside. Do your kids like playing in the sand? Let me know in the comments.

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Awareness, Personal Development, Self acceptance,

Finding Peace

May 7, 2018

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I’m a fan of journaling. I was journaling daily for a while, but recently I haven’t been writing as often as I’d like. I was writing about some things going on in my life now and remembered this past experience. I’m sharing it because it’s part of letting go and making peace with myself and others.

There were a few girls in this group including my childhood best friend. These girls would eat together, go to each other’s parties and most of them had classes together. Occasionally I’d sit with them. I’ve changed the names in case any of them ever stumble across this blog. One of the girls, I’ll call Cathy. I don’t know what went on in her life, but she was a classic mean girl. At least to me. She would either make rude comments to me directly or to others about me while I was within ear shot.

One day, all the girls got up to leave the table except a girl I’ll call Britney. She was nice and I could have a normal conversation with her. Although we were never close friends. Britney said, “you’re all leaving me.” Then Cathy said, “yeah and look who we’re leaving you with.” She made a few comments like that over the years. I don’t know what her problem was other than she wasn’t comfortable being around someone unless they were just like her.

Cathy and I had one sociology class together. There was a section on racism and one assignment was to take a quiz to supposedly find out how racist we were. It sounds ridiculous and it is, but it was no surprise to me how her results would come out. As she counted her final scores, she even shocked herself. Suddenly, she gasped, “oh my god! It says I’m a racist.” The boy sitting next to her asked what her scores were and she said, “I’m not telling anyone.” The sociology teacher laughed at her. Inside I was laughing too because she was embarrassed and obviously ashamed.

I learned later that she moved to Florida. I wonder how she liked it because Florida can be a very diverse place depending on where you go. It’s not like the small towns we grew up in. While I was searching for people I knew online, I had discovered that she died. I didn’t know how to feel about that. Maybe a little relieved, indifferent, but not sad or regretful. From what I could gather, she had died in some accident. Whatever the cause, it was sudden and unexpected.

I’ve come to realize her comments weren’t about me. Her attitude wasn’t about me. She was obviously insecure and her negative judgements about others were a reflection of what she felt about herself. I would never wish death on anyone, but the nasty negative bitchy part in me says good, the world has more space for good kind people now. The problem with this thinking is that it’s a reflection of my negative feelings and has nothing to do with what she said or did. The other problem is that it’s unkind and when we hold on to these feelings, it keeps all this negative energy around us.

I don’t want to be that person. That judgmental insecure unforgiving person. I am better than that. It’s too bad that her life ended so suddenly when she was young and had a whole future ahead of her. Maybe by that point, she had changed. I don’t know. I hope that by the end of her life or maybe even in her death, she found peace and was able to get past the insecurities and judgements of herself. The judgement of others is always based in the judgement of yourself. It’s based in the parts of yourself you find unlovable and in some cases, the parts of yourself you hate. Those parts can’t always be changed so you can either accept them or spend your life wasting energy on trying to fix something that’s not broken. Sometimes it’s relatively easy and other times it can take a life time. I know I am still working on it. I hope those who loved her were able to find peace and healing as well.

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Awareness, Education, Parenting

Trash on the Playground

May 6, 2018

It was a nice spring day so Rosebud and I went for a walk. She likes to walk to one of our neighborhood playgrounds. I wouldn’t exactly call it a playground because it only has one climber. The climber is pretty big and has three different slides. There is also a picnic table where we could bring food and have a little picnic one afternoon. Other than that, it’s mostly an open space. Rosebud loves the climber and lately she’s been pretending to sell ice cream from the open part underneath the slides. Today she was pretending that some sticks she found were ice cream. She has stored sticks, pinecones, acorns and leaves under the climber for this purpose. After a few minutes she got bored and decided that the sticks were for making music instead.

She proudly made her way to the top of the climber where she walks around and takes a minute to choose which slide she wants to use. Suddenly, I hear a stream of water coming down from the top of the climber. I look up and she has an adult sized coffee cup in her hand. Apparently, someone had a drink and left their trash at the top of the climber. I was surprised since I’ve never seen anyone else at this playground. Normally, it’s always exactly how we left it.

Toddler playing on slide. I made Rosebud give me the cup because I don’t know who it belongs to or where it came from. I’m a bit of a germaphobe. then I explained to her that it was trash and how we shouldn’t leave trash on our playgrounds. I also told her how we need to be careful what we pick up from the ground. She is forever stopping to pick up strange things.

Recycling bin full of plastic products. She is too young to understand how littering is bad for the environment and everything that goes with that. I brought the cup home and threw it away, but I couldn’t help but be disappointed. The playground is supposed to be a safe place for neighborhood kids to play and people are leaving their trash there. It’s the carelessness that annoys me because many of the neighborhood kids are around Rosebud’s age and they are still at the stage where everything goes in their mouth.

Although it was irritating, I turned it into an opportunity to show Rosebud how we should take care of our public spaces and the environment. Not just because trash is obviously gross, but because we need to be thinking about each other, the wildlife and what our environment will be like for our childrens children.A little consideration goes a long way and sometimes small acts can make a difference.

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Education

Too Many Rules

May 3, 2018

Yesterday there was a situation at work that made me wonder if we are putting too many rules on kids play. Is all this nitpicking necessary? Shouldn’t we be focusing on the big picture?

We were out on the playground and I was watching three children who were playing under a dome shaped climber. One of them was pretending that the bars were doors and kept going in and out of the different doors. Meanwhile the other two were playing with a bucket of sand. They were pretending the dome was a store which they go in and out of and were making things for each other. I observed the children taking turns sharing a spoon to stir with, talking to each other about their play and generally getting along and enjoying each others company. Lately I don’t see that many positive social interactions in our classrooms so I was enjoying it. They were sharing, being kind to one another and certainly not harming anyone else.

Generally we insist that they keep sand and all the sand toys in the sand box, but it was only a small bucket of sand and they were playing so nicely that I didn’t want to ruin the moment. Suddenly one of my coworkers came over and got very irritated that they had brought some sand under the climber. She told them to get back in the sand box and demanded to know who had brought the sand over. I told her that they had been playing there nicely for a long time, but didn’t know what else to say to her. She seemed irritated with me for letting them do that, but I feel that positive social interactions and their imaginative play is more important than the fact that there is a little bit of sand outside the sand box. One of the dilemmasis how much and when do you let them experiment and how much do we have to box them in?

At the same time, I understand where she is coming from. The sand box doesn’t get filled often so I understand her wanting to keep the sand in there. I also understand being consistent with rules and maybe if I had noticed when they had originally brought the sand over, I might have said something before they got started. When I found them, they had this set up already. I like my coworker. We get along and she’s a good teacher. She’s strict, but she cares about the kids.

We complain that kids don’t engage in imaginative play, but we seem to squash it without meaning to. We often have to interrupt play that could become more complex because of keeping to a daily schedule. We wish there were more healthy positive social interactions between the kids, but we have a tendency to interrupt those as well. As rules and regulations for childcare increase, that gets past down to the children. We no longer have the freedom and neither do they. Sometimes we have to curb their art because we’re afraid we will run out of paper. the paint is almost gone so we can’t do that project we had planned. Assessments are around the corner so we have to find out if the child can pick out any letters or make an AB pattern. So much of today’s childcare industry is filled with budgets, rules and regulations. Whatever happened to what we were in this field for, the kids? Sitting down and actually playing and talking with the kids. I am glad I grew up when I did because I have fond memories of playing outside, being creative and laughing with my friends. I often wonder, what will our children say they remember from their childhoods?



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