Rosebud slept over at my mom’s last night because I went to a coworker’s retirement dinner. She did well. She went to sleep last night with no fuss. She didn’t even want to be rocked at first, which was similar to the night before. Tuesday night was the first time ever that she didn’t want me to rock her. I was sad about that. My baby is growing up. I love having our snuggle time before bed. I don’t see her all night so I like that time to tell her I love her and just sit with her, holding her, talking to her and smelling the scent of her body wash. This time flies so fast. She’s already doing preschooler things when it seems that yesterday I brought her home from the hospital. She slept until 8:15 this morning which she rarely does here. She’s usually an early riser.
I talked to her last night on Face Time to tell her good night, but honestly she wasn’t that interested. She was going through her bag and when she found her toothbrush she was off for the sink. She started running down the hallway leaving the phone behind. She said a quick good night as she was headed for the sink and that was that. I’m glad she feels secure when I’m not around, but I’m a little sad too. That’s what being a parent is all about. You are preparing them to be independent and to go out into the world. Whether it’s just the first sleep over or the huge step of going off to college. There’s always a delicate balance of holding on and letting go.
The funny thing is I often want a break like this. A time with no kids to worry about, but I worry anyway. I wonder what she’s doing and what she is thinking about. I always think I’ll have a bunch of free time to write, reorganize closets, go through photos etc. You know, the stuff you never get around to doing. Then when the time comes, you do what you would’ve done anyway. Last night, I put her clothes away, exercised and wrote to a friend. Those are things I do most nights when Rosebud is here. The only different thing I did was put the brand new light pink sheets that I found on sale yesterday on my bed. It has been good for me though. Although I miss her, I got a good nights sleep and I was able to do some chores this morning. I haven’t had time to myself in ages. and it was good for me to reboot. Kid free time is wonderful, but I was so glad to finally see her this morning.