These past couple of weeks have been overwhelming, so I’ve been wondering how I can simplify my life. When I really thought about it, there were so many things that weren’t serving me. Everything from small daily annoyances to things that are life changing. This is not a vent post. This is about changing your mindset.
I’ve been having trouble with my cell service for months. I’m not sure why, but voicemails cut out or I don’t receive them until hours or days later. The majority of my calls are dropped and I usually have poor reception wherever I go. I’m not sure if it’s my location or my phone itself, but it is so annoying. My mom asked me why I don’t call the phone company to try to get to the bottom of this. Well, that’s a good question. Why am I putting up with this? Instead of getting annoyed, why not try to change my situation? I called the phone company and they updated some settings. However, the issues are not fixed completely and this time, I will be calling back. I pay for cell service each month and have insurance on my phone. As a paying customer, I deserve quality service. Why do we settle for crappy service, bad treatment or keep things that no longer are useful to us? I can’t be the only one who does this.
In January, I signed up for a payment plan for a pair of expensive glasses that scans text and reads it aloud. It’s a portable device that you can take with you to read menus, signs, price tags etc. You can also curl up on the couch with a book and it will read it to you. Apparently, these are the Goldie Locks of glasses because the lighting has to be just right. These glasses are also supposed to recognize products using a database, recognize colors of objects and even people’s faces. Unfortunately, none of these features work very well. Although the device is portable, it is still attached to a wire which is inconvenient, so I only took it to the store with me a couple of times. It was also advertised as being extremely quiet so those around you couldn’t hear it, but that wasn’t true either.
The only thing I loved about this device was that I actually was able to read an actual paper book for the first time. It was a book I ordered online. I didn’t have to change the format or alter it in any way. I just picked it up, pushed a button on the glasses and started reading. Now days, I can get most books on Kindle or Audible, but this particular one I couldn’t get in electronic format. That was in the first month of having the device. After that, I rarely used it. I purchased it in January and now we are in August. It has barely been useful to me and I kept telling myself, maybe I’ll use it later. Maybe my circumstances will change and it will become more useful.
I finally decided that this was no longer serving me. Why am I spending money on something I don’t use? Why am I keeping things that don’t work well for me? I posted it for sale on Facebook and the next day the company contacted me asking me to return it. I’m not going to get my money back, but I will no longer be throwing money away. That money could be spent on things that do make a difference in my life. I figured that there was nothing I could do until I paid it off, but the fact is, I didn’t know until I did something about it.
Too often, we get stuck in this negative mindset where we feel we can’t change things. Sometimes, I feel like it’s not worth the bother, but usually it is. If you can eliminate something that makes you angry, depresses you, places a burden on you or hurts you, it is worth the effort. Even if you have to disrupt your busy schedule or make a huge change in your life. What are the things in your life that are no longer serving you? What steps can you take right now to reduce or eliminate them?
I am choosing to let go of the transcription business idea. There have been so many obstacles beyond what is normal. First, there was the 
Now, here’s the good part. On that horrible day when I decided that enough was enough, I was scheduled to talk to a life coach. I had come across her in a parenting group on Facebook a few weeks ago. She is currently getting certified, so I asked her about the process and didn’t think much about it. I had almost forgotten about the call and when I realized it was scheduled for that night, I was dreading it. I was in such a horrible mood that I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I wanted to curl up with the blankets over my head. Not to mention that I hate calling anyone I’ve never talked to before, but I made the call anyway. I knew as soon as I heard her voice that I’d like her. She shared lots of information about the program and answered my endless questions. During our call, she did a mini coaching session and when she asked what my dream career would be, my first thought was coaching. I told her that I have really struggled finding a meaningful career and that I’d like to help others to get passed their road blocks and find what excites them. It became glaringly obvious to me that transcription didn’t even pop into my mind.
As the afternoon went on, I thought about my abilities as a parent and how some of the things I'm not good at really shake my confidence. There's the dancing which hopefully the neighbors weren't watching. I worried about it unnecessarily. Am I good enough? Am I doing this right? Then I have to remind myself that it's not about being good enough. It's about spending the time together and having fun. I'm horrible at drawing and Rosebud loves to draw. She is always asking me to draw with her. My shapes are crooked, the lines are rarely ever straight and forget coloring inside the lines, especially if the picture is complicated. It doesn't stop me from trying, but it always nags at me that's not good. I'm not showing her the right way and as she gets older, will this bother her? Probably not as much as it bothers me. I try because I want to be involved in what she's doing. Isn't that what's important?
There are people out there who don't even know me who might question my abilities as a parent. I might be a terrible dancer, a little socially awkward and color outside the lines, but I can fix boo-boos, bake 
I’m in the beginning stages of starting a business. If I had to compare the process to anything. It would be a plant. It’s a seed right now, but every day, it gets closer to sprouting. Each day, I take one more step closer to this goal. Also, I am being inspired by different things in relation to my writing. I am thinking a lot about my past and how my experiences have shaped who I am, so I will occasionally share that with my readers. I feel that with our political climate the way it is, it is important to share experiences so we can be more connected. These days, it’s easy to lose touch with humanity. We can hide behind a screen. We can stay in our own little bubble with liked-minded people. We all need need like-minded people in our lives, but seeing other perspectives helps us grow. It seems easier than ever to exclude those who aren’t like us. They are removed from us, so it’s easy to forget that many of our experiences are the same at the roots. In order for things to improve for all of us, especially our children who are growing up in this world we don’t understand, this needs to change. What would happen if anyone could reach out and find a mutual point of understanding or a shared experience? I have to write about what inspires me even if it makes others uncomfortable. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
This weekend, I listened to the 
Several years ago, I applied to a mental health counseling graduate program at one of the local universities. It was quite a process. I did a lot of research on the program to see if it would be a good fit. Everything seemed okay except I had to take the MAT. I didn’t do great on the SATs so I dreaded this and of course it was horrible. Since I didn’t have much time and all the study guides were inaccessible to me, my mom and I poured over so many words we had never heard of and or couldn’t pronounce. If you don’t know what a word means, how can you compare it to another word? Most of the MAT is analogies. The only similarity to me was that these were groups of words that no one uses, ever! I got a score on the MAT that was good enough to get into the program, but it was only by a tiny margin.
Well, that’s not how things turned out. I’m a working mom who is often too tired when she gets home to prepare and actually do activities. Most nights, we settle for coloring with crayons and a blank notebook. We might snuggle in the chair reading a book or singing songs because that doesn’t require any extra preparation. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by working with children all day and want to zone out, but I know I can’t. My daughter is depending on me to talk to her and play with her.