Welcome to NMC Coaching, short for Navigating Motherhood Coaching. I created this space to help mothers rediscover themselves, achieve their goals and create amazing lives. My approach to coaching is very individualized, so we will work together to find the solutions that will work for you.
My name is Darcey. I’m a certified professional coach who specializes in issues surrounding motherhood. My background is in early childhood education. I’m a mom to a happy and inquisitive four-year-old girl. I love books, cats, writing, the beach and seeing new places. If you want to learn more about me and how we can work together, take a look at my about page.
Enough about me. This blog is about you. I’m here to help you work through the challenges you are facing. What would you like to read about? What do you need help with? Tell me in the comments.
This is the second entry in my stocking stuffer series. If you missed it, here’s my list of Stocking Stuffers for Babies. Click here for Stocking Stuffers for Preschoolers.
Today, I’ll focus on toddlers. Between one and three years of age, children become interested in a wider variety of activities and generally they put things in their mouths much less, so they can use toys with smaller parts. Of course, all this depends on the ages and developmental levels of your children. Rosebud still puts things in her mouth and chews on things that she shouldn’t, so there are still things I won’t let her play with especially on her own. The theme for her stocking last year was creativity. I included a lot of things that she could use for art projects, play-dough etc. Sometimes picking a theme for the stocking can help narrow down what you want to buy, but for this list, I will include a variety of items.
1. Large crayons
Toddlers don’t quite have the control and grip for standard sized crayons, but the larger sizes are perfect. Using crayons is a great introduction to drawing. Those scribbles will eventually become lines and the lines will eventually become drawings. Let them explore and imagine and before you know it, they’ll be drawing their own little world.
Don’t forget a mini notebook or drawing pad.
If you’re more adventurous like I was, you can try washable markers. Rosebud loves both crayons and markers and these particular markers by Crayola have washed off everything she’s drawn on.
Don’t forget to pick up a Magic Eraser to save your stuff and your sanity. Keep out of reach of children though because they are toxic, but they do an amazing job getting rid of scribbles on the furniture or walls.
2. Paints
To continue with the creativity theme, how about these water color paints? They aren’t as messy as finger paint, but you might choose to go that rout. Rosebud loves water colors. Now if I could only get her to remember to dip in the water first and then the paint. Not the other way around. You might want to include some extra brushes.
3. Play-dough
Play-dough is another great stocking stuffer. You can either make your own or get store bought. I’d suggest using homemade play-dough because it lasts longer, you know exactly what’s in it, you get a lot more than what’s in the little store bought containers and it feels smoother and easier to work with. Also, you can personalize it how you like. You can add scents, glitter, food coloring, textured items etc.
You can use tools specifically for play-dough, cookie cutters or items laying around the house.
4. Dramatic play
How about something for dramatic play? Maybe a small baby doll, stuffed animal or small set of toys.
This small tea set is for the bath, but it is small enough to include in a stocking. Rosebud loves this tea set.
This mini feeding set with bottles is another good choice.
5. Building
You could buy small cars, a mini block set or toy people to encourage building and pretend play. Another tip is to take things out of the boxes so they fit into the stocking.
6. Toothbrush
Does your child like a specific character they see on TV? They make lots of toothbrushes with characters on them. Some have lights, music and come in cool colors. Find a toothbrush that they will love and include it in their stocking. It’s practical, but it will get used.
7. Water bottle
It’s important to stay hydrated, so why not include a cool new water bottle. There are water bottles in every color, character and type imaginable.
8. Books
Books are amazing. They can introduce children to new concepts, reinforce things you’ve taught them or getting lost in a great story. I always include a book or two in the stocking.
9. Warm and cozy
Finally, why not include something warm for the winter? Rosebud loves slippers and there are so many options to choose from. Again, if your child has a favorite character you could buy something like this.
Maybe you want to buy something more cute and or fashionable like these.
Mittens or fuzzy socks come in handy during the winter as well.
10. Puzzles
Simple puzzles also make great stocking stuffers. They help toddlers use their fine motor and problem solving skills. I started by giving Rosebud puzzles with ten pieces or less.
If you are on a tight budget And are looking for thrifty and educational stocking stuffers for toddlers, check out this post from Organizing Chaos 101.
I hope you have gotten plenty of inspiration to fill your toddler’s stocking. Don’t forget to check out my other stocking stuffer suggestions. Happy shopping!
Here’s another simple painting activity. We’ve been doing some ocean themed activities lately so I thought we’d try stamping with shells. The shells didn’t stamp on the paper as expected. You have to move the shell to get the full stamp, but Rosebud had fun with this. she loves painting of any kind.
What you need:
Paints,
Paper,
Shells.
Directions:
There are no directions except to see what you can create. Use different colors. Use different types of shells. You could also keep the colors totally separated and make neat patterns.
My only suggestion is to have plenty of paint. Enough to dip the entire half of the part of the shell you will be stamping.
I want to share an experience I had while applying for a freelance transcription job this past weekend. Some of you may already know about this, but I’m blogging about this for several reasons. First, there’s solidarity. Lots of people have these experiences and they can make you feel very isolated, but in reality, you are not alone. You are not alone in feeling unworthy and unwanted. I’d like to reach out and say that those things are not true, that you are worthy and will be wanted somewhere, but that would be invalidating. That also would be denying my own experience and the way I’m perceiving the world at the moment. I’m blogging about this because if I can save one person the time, and trouble of dealing with this specific company, then sharing is worth it. Finally, if I can convince one potential or current client not to use this company for their transcription needs, then it’s definitely worth it!
In order to get some transcription practice, I wanted to find a company that hires beginners and allowed me to work on my own schedule. Rev.com met that criteria even though their pay was minimal. You may have noticed that I did not link to them directly as I do not want to direct any traffic towards their website. To get hired, you have to complete a grammar test and a transcription practice test. I completed the grammar portion without difficulty, but when it came to the transcription test, I discovered that the web based editor is not accessible with Voiceover. For those who don’t know, Voiceover is a screen reading software built into Appple products. It reads the text on screen aloud so that the person can hear it instead of reading the words. With the editor, I was not able to read what I had typed in the text box so I was unable to proof read and fix any mistakes I made and admittedly, there were a few. However, there would have been less had I been able to read what I was typing. Unfortunately, I had to submit the application as it was. I figured that I would have a better chance of getting my concerns taken seriously if I had actually applied.
After I submitted the application, I followed up with an E-mail explaining my situation. I explained that their editor was not accessible, gave them some information on Voiceover and told them that I hoped they would work on this issue in the near future so I could reapply and work for them. On Monday morning I got a response that was actually shocking. Usually discrimination is subtle and even though you know you were discriminated against, it’s harder to prove. In this case, it was as plain as day. An employee of Rev.com stated that their editor was not compatible with screen readers and that they weren’t actively seeking a solution at this time nor in the future. He went on to say that their company was not a good fit for “visually challenged/visually disabled people.”
First, that’s illegal. Second, that’s just an asshole move. I don’t know how else to describe that. Needless to say, I did not respond because I don’t want to work for a company who thinks so little of people like me. In fact, they obviously don’t think much of people in general. On one hand, things like this should be fought because that’s the only way to get equal access. On the other hand, I don’t have the time nor the energy. This was not going to be my final job or my life’s work. This was a stepping stone. My goal is self employment and fighting this particular company will not get me closer to that goal. However, I think that people should know about this. The only way to change minds is to talk about these barriers. It’s discouraging though because this type of change moves as slow as a snail.
I’d like to be lighthearted and share my latest recipes and craft projects with Rosebud, but how can I do that when I have things like this going on in my life? I will move on as I always do, but it’s hard to feel playful with all this negativity. This time I won’t be sharing any affiliate links because there’s no product that can fix this problem. There’s no pill that can make someone compassionate or considerate. You can’t buy common sense at the store. You either have it or you don’t. There are no bandaids that cover up the amount of anger, sadness and pain that this causes. There is no step by step manual to teach you how to be a decent human being. Everyone talks about the wish for world peace, but we need to stop being so bold in the mistreatment of each other first. We can no longer afford to move at a snails pace. It costs way too much for us as individuals and as a society.
This is one of those slippery issues because it involves family, gift giving and societal pressures. Have you ever been in the situation where a family member gives your child a toy that was completely inappropriate? It could’ve been a toy that was developmentally too young or too old. Maybe it was something you’ve already said flat out no to, but they showed up with it anyway. Perhaps, they gave your four-year-old, a highly suggestive twerking doll. Yes, that really happened to a family member of mine.
My mom took Rosebud grocery shopping today and they stopped by the toy isle. They came home with toy squirt guns and that’s where it gets uncomfortable for me. First, I know my mom is just being nice by buying her toys, but she usually buys balls, coloring books and stuffed animals. The toys you would expect. She grew up in a different time and we have a huge hunting culture here where I live. However, I’m opposed to hunting. Not to mention, when I was a little older than Rosebud, I played with squirt guns. I had one of those super soakers. If you remember those, they were big and a pain in the ass to carry around once they were filled with water. Most of my friends were boys at that time in my life so I played with what they played with. Did I have fun? Yes. Did we hurt anyone. No. Did we know the difference between our toys and real guns? Yes, absolutely! Many of my friends parents had talked to them about guns because they were kept in locked cabinets mainly for the purposes of hunting, but my friends knew not to touch them because their parents had talked about the safety risks. When I was about ten, my brother who is much older than me, showed me his gun once and told me that if I saw it anywhere in the house to never touch it. I don’t know where he kept it. I’m assuming it was in his bedroom, but just seeing it and knowing what it could do scared me.
My short phase of shooting squirt guns with the boys had long past. Playing with those toys didn’t turn me into a violent person or make me a gun fanatic. I like to think that I am a kind sensible person. I don’t know why I’m so bothered by toys that Rosebud will probably barely remember in the grand scheme of things. Part of me worries that people will think I’m a bad parent if Rosebud said anything about playing with toy guns. Then people would wonder what I’m teaching her or allowing her to see. I know I wonder that about some of the kids I work with. The ones who often talk about punching people and going around pretending to shoot guns. The teacher in me is conflicted. We don’t allow play with violent themes in our preschool class which I am fine with. However, I know that the best way for children to explore some of these really difficult themes is through play. It’s hard between finding a balance between exploration and working through issues and not hurting and scaring the other children.
It’s also about what it represents. We live in a different kind of world today. They report that the actual numbers of violent crimes are lower than they used to be, but they are so much more in our face with the constant media exposure. There is also the disconnect between children and adults. We might spend more time in the same spaces, but communicate less.
Rosebud had fun chasing and squirting me for about five minutes and while I never used the words shoot or gun, that doesn’t change the facts. It’s still a toy gun. I don’t want to have to talk about guns and all their consequences. I don’t want to explain how guns hurt and kill people, sometimes even children. One day I will have to when she’s old enough to understand and ask questions. For now, my Rosebud still drinks from a sippy, asks for stroller rides and won’t let go of her pacie. Children deserve that safety and innocence for as long as possible. Maybe it’s hypocritical based on my own childhood experiences, but I prefer Rosebud sticks to baking pretend pies, turning household objects into musical instruments and picnics with teddy bears. What do you do with toys you don’t approve of from well-meaning family members? Let me know in the comments.
I'm reading Cara Alwill Leyba's new book, "Like She Owns The place”.
For those who don't know, Cara is an author and master life coach who works to help women empower themselves and change their mindset. I found her online several years ago and discovered that a lot of her message resonates with me.
One passage she wrote about guilt in, "Like She Owns the Place" stood out to me. She discusses the idea that women often feel guilty due to external forces. Such as ones culture, religion or the society they live in. It may come from childhood experiences or friends and family making them feel guilty. This may be intentional or not, but never the less, the guilt shows up. She poses the question, if you are not hurting yourself or anyone else, why feel guilty? Cara describes one situation where she was taking a day off from work, spending the day at home. Her plan was to binge watch a show and have a glass of wine. Meanwhile, her husband decided to reorganize a closet full of Christmas decorations. Seeing this, she felt guilty and went over to help, but he encouraged her to take time for herself. That’s the sign of a good man, by the way. She said she went back to watch tv, but it didn’t come naturally to her. She felt guilty for taking time for herself and not working.
I often feel guilty over things like this. Today, my mom took Rosebud so that I could rest as I haven’t been feeling well. I can’t rest though because I start feeling guilty and thinking of everything I need to do. If I’m napping on the couch, the laundry isn’t getting done. The dishes are piled up in the sink. Rosebud's toys need to be rotated. Countertops need to be dusted. That’s just the house work. Then there’s the work you actually get paid for. I don’t feel guilty about taking time away from my job outside the home, but I feel guilt over not working on transcription stuff. I think to myself, I should be transcribing practice files or doing the business plan paper work. As with the blog posts, I set imaginary deadlines and the guilt sets in.
This week is supposed to be my vacation, but I’m having trouble just letting it be. I always have to fill my time and not necessarily with the things I enjoy. I need to feel productive even in times when I should be resting. The mom guilt is never ending. While Rosebud is not here, I’ve spent much of my time doing things for her instead of myself. I’ve washed toys, did laundry and prepared her dinner for later. It's one way to ease the guilt of taking time away from her. Then again, when I'm spending time with her just playing, I get that nagging feeling about the house work. Then when I'm cleaning or doing other things, I feel guilty about giving her screen time. While she's away, I’ve been pondering how to take away the pacifier. Should I try a gradual approach or go cold turkey? This was prompted by her visit to the dentist this morning. In between cleaning and thoughts of the annoying paci, I wonder how she’s doing. What is she doing right now? Has she napped? What did she eat for lunch? Then I think maybe I should watch some videos of her. Oh, wait... I better get back to work.
As Cara points out in her book, when we are old, what will we be worrying about? Will we be worried about all the times we should’ve cleaned closets, typed up that report or swept the kitchen floor? Definitely not! We will be remembering things we enjoyed. The times with our loved ones, the things we’ve created or times we did something crazy, fun and memorable. The fact is, we all need time to replenish ourselves. If we don't get that, we become unhappy and lose sight of our strengths, passions and our joy. We need to start erasing some of this guilt. If not, what are we teaching our children and what are we doing to our emotional well-being? I’m finally in my element. I’m taking the time to write which makes me feel lighter and taps into my creative side. I’m sitting outside enjoying the breeze on my face, the shade of a tree and listening to the birds over head.
Here are some of Cara's other books if you are interested.
I was going to write an entry explaining why I haven’t been posting as much and it probably would’ve started off with the words, I’m sorry. I was going to say that I’m sorry I haven’t been writing much and I was even going to apologize for the subject matter of my recent blog posts. When I started this blog, I mainly focused on parenting and kids activities with some self care tips thrown in. I will continue to do those blog posts, but my life is changing.
I’m in the beginning stages of starting a business. If I had to compare the process to anything. It would be a plant. It’s a seed right now, but every day, it gets closer to sprouting. Each day, I take one more step closer to this goal. Also, I am being inspired by different things in relation to my writing. I am thinking a lot about my past and how my experiences have shaped who I am, so I will occasionally share that with my readers. I feel that with our political climate the way it is, it is important to share experiences so we can be more connected. These days, it’s easy to lose touch with humanity. We can hide behind a screen. We can stay in our own little bubble with liked-minded people. We all need need like-minded people in our lives, but seeing other perspectives helps us grow. It seems easier than ever to exclude those who aren’t like us. They are removed from us, so it’s easy to forget that many of our experiences are the same at the roots. In order for things to improve for all of us, especially our children who are growing up in this world we don’t understand, this needs to change. What would happen if anyone could reach out and find a mutual point of understanding or a shared experience? I have to write about what inspires me even if it makes others uncomfortable. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
This weekend, I listened to the Style Your Mind Podcast: Episode 102: Taking out the Energetic TRASH: How to Become a Match for What You Want. In this episode, Cara talks about how you should stay true to yourself and what inspires you. She talks about how you don’t need to be apologetic all the time. If you skip a day, a week or month of blogging, it’s okay. If it takes you a while to get out that latest episode of your podcast, it’s no big deal. What is a big deal is doing what inspires you and being available for those things that light you up. Honestly, I haven’t felt inspired to blog lately. I haven’t had the time nor the energy to set up crafty activities for Rosebud and I. I have come to realize that I can share more than that. Parenting is multi-faceted and so is my life. My life can be difficult, exhausting and chaotic, but it also can be productive, happy and beautiful and my blog is a snapshot of that.
I will leave you with this thought. What if you framed being sorry in a positive way? I’m talking about when you are sorry for inconsequential things. Things that wouldn’t necessarily hurt anyone, but we are always apologizing for them anyway. For instance, what if you thanked someone for being patient when you are a couple minutes late? This way you aren’t feeling so negative and you are appreciating the other person for taking time to wait for you. I want to thank you, my readers for being patient with me as I find a direction for this blog. Thank you for reading my thoughts. I appreciate the comments, likes and shares. If my posts are spaced further apart, it’s because I want to write when I am inspired and not just because of an imaginary deadline I set for myself. I want to stay true to who I am and where I’m at in life. I have picked up many things from blogs I’ve read along the way. Whether it be advice, support, information, inspiration or even solidarity, I have taken those pieces and made them apart of my own journey. Thank you for sticking with me even when I am the Daffidil in the field of hyacinths.
Lately, I’ve been tossing around lots of ideas in my head about which direction my career should take. I’ve come to a few realizations. First, I need something with a flexible schedule so I can spend more time with Rosebud and work at times that best suit both of us. Second, I need to work from home. This would save money, time and get rid of the transportation issues. Third, I have come to the realization that it would be best to work for myself. I wouldn’t have to deal with office politics or trying to get hired at companies that make things unreachable in a lot of ways. I’ve always wanted to have my own business, but I never knew what I could offer other than childcare. When I was a teenager, I worked as a transcriptionist for one of my summer jobs. After only a few weeks, I was getting pretty fast and became used to the different styles of speech. My cubicle was among many and when people walk by, they’d stop and watch me type and seemed amazed at how fast I was typing. I didn’t think I was super fast, but the typing came easily to me.
The first few days were really rough. Typing, listening and working the controls all at once was overwhelming, but eventually I found a rhythm. Then a few months ago, I saw a post in a Facebook group in regards to a podcast. The poster said that she is deaf and asked if there was a way to get transcripts of the podcast. Cara, the owner of the group was great and found a transcriptionist right away. That got me thinking that this was something I could do and it would help people.
Recently, my feelings of sadness, anger and frustration at my current job have become overwhelming so I’ve had to find a way to move past these feelings as I’m stuck there for now. My first step is setting an end goal which is building my own transcription business. Since this won’t happen over night, I will have to chip away at this. Piece by piece until I reach my goal. Each day I do at least one thing that will get me closer to achieving my goal.
Even if I’m exhausted or am short on time, I try to do something small. Some of the things I’ve done so far include researching how to write a business plan, finding transcription companies, downloading and testing software, setting up appointments with people who could possibly help me get started, networking with other transcriptionists and researching courses I can take to get some experience.
Each morning when I wake up, I ask myself, what’s one thing I can do today to get closer to achieving my goal?
You can do this with any goal you are setting. It doesn’t have to be a big goal either. Do you want to lose weight? Maybe you want to start a journaling practice. One of your goals might be that you want to spend more quality time with your children. Maybe you want to get that higher paying job at work. Whatever it is, it can be broken down into smaller more achievable steps. If your goal is to lose weight, you could start taking a walk on your lunch break or substitute one junk food item with a fruit or vegetable. If your goal is to start journaling, set aside five minutes per day to write. In my experience working towards a goal and accomplishing each step can give you something else to focus on. I like to think of it as the light at the end of the tunnel. By breaking goals down into smaller manageable steps, your success will help you keep going. It’s a way to use your time wisely instead of just spinning your wheels. I don’t want to just get through the day. I want to accomplish things. I want to be challenged in a good way and not in a way that makes me want to pull my hair out. I need a purpose. What I do has to be meaningful. There is now a bright spot in my tunnel. It’s in the distance, but withdetermination I will reach it even if I have to take one step at a time.
I am so happy that we’ve been able to spend so much time outside these past couple of weeks. This past winter felt like it would never end. Rosebud loves being outside. She loves all the sights and sounds, going for walks and exploring nature. She loves pointing out birds, bugs, flowers and anything else she sees. I had a huge headache today, but after I got home from work, we spent some time outside and I noticed that my headache went away. I was able to just enjoy being outside and watching Rosebud play in the water table.
The Water Table
Playing in water has to be her absolute favorite activity outside. She is a big fan of anything with water. She could be swimming in the pool, playing in the water table, jumping in a puddle or trying to take the hose while we water the plants. I’ve put a bunch of toys in the water table to keep her interested. As it suddenly has gotten hot, splashing in the water table is a good way to cool off. There is a boat, different sized rubber ducks, round and heart shaped stacking cups and plastic fish. She loves to give the duckies rides on the parts of the water table that move.
The Trampoline
I’ve wanted to by Rosebud a climber for a while because we don’t have much for her to climb on, but since the good ones are expensive, I settled for a trampoline. She loves to jump and it’s good exercise. We’ve had this one set up for a few days and she loves it so far. She likes going in and out of the enclosure, but she likes jumping on it as well. The only down side is it doesn’t have a handle for her to hold while she jumps so it will take her longer to get the hang of it, but it should last her a couple of years. I love trampolines because they help the kids get their energy out. the one I originally bought is no longer available, but here is the closest I could find.
Bubbles
Bubbles is another of Rosebud’s favorites. It’s especially fun for her on a windy day when she can chase the bubbles around the yard. Bubbles are great because they are simple, inexpensive and entertaining for the little ones.
Ball Games
Rosebud’s new obsession is soccer. Well, her version of soccer which is chasing the ball around and occasionally kicking it or just carrying the ball. I got her a soccer ball because she got so excited whenever she’d see one in someone else’s yard or at the store. She loves any kind of ball though. She also has one of those hop along balls with the handle. She hasn’t mastered the skill of sitting on it and bouncing, but she enjoys kicking it and spinning it around. Lately she’s been interested in games with us. She’ll have us stand around and kick the ball back and forth. Yesterday she told me, “fetch” after she threw the ball. She uses her imagination and makes up games as we go along and of course she always wins.
Sand Play
I wrote about sand play in this Post so I will only mention it briefly. I had to include it though because most of Rosebud’s time outside is spent playing in the sand. She’s the happiest when she is making a mess. She could be in the sand box dumping buckets of sand, putting sand in her wagon or sitting in the middle of a sand pile in the yard. Over the past few weeks, we have worked on making sand castles, looking for treasures in the sand and even writing letters and making shapes. We are looking forward to many more outside adventures this summer.
What are your favorite outdoor activities? Tell me in the comments.
I started writing this post yesterday, but I have been having some technical issues with my website. I’ve been working on things for the past week. I think the technical troubles are fixed for now thanks to my hosting provider. There are still a few things I want to change and hopefully it won’t get messed up. I’m not sure if I messed something up or if there was something wrong with a specific file. It could have been anything. The options are endless. In this case, my persistence in dealing with this issue paid off.
After the long week I’ve had, some baked goods were definetly in order. Luckily, I have a four day weekend so yesterday was my Friday. Last year I found this blueberry cake recipe. You can find it here. I don’t know who Alice is, but her blueberry cake is wonderful.
Rosebud says this is delicious. She even started to help me make it, but she got bored and decided looking out the front window is much more interesting. Since spring is finally showing up, we were able to be outside today without any winter gear and enjoying the warm sun. It was a nice ending to a long week. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that make all the difference.
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