This is one of those slippery issues because it involves family, gift giving and societal pressures. Have you ever been in the situation where a family member gives your child a toy that was completely inappropriate? It could’ve been a toy that was developmentally too young or too old. Maybe it was something you’ve already said flat out no to, but they showed up with it anyway. Perhaps, they gave your four-year-old, a highly suggestive twerking doll. Yes, that really happened to a family member of mine.
My mom took Rosebud grocery shopping today and they stopped by the toy isle. They came home with toy squirt guns and that’s where it gets uncomfortable for me. First, I know my mom is just being nice by buying her toys, but she usually buys balls, coloring books and stuffed animals. The toys you would expect. She grew up in a different time and we have a huge hunting culture here where I live. However, I’m opposed to hunting. Not to mention, when I was a little older than Rosebud, I played with squirt guns. I had one of those super soakers. If you remember those, they were big and a pain in the ass to carry around once they were filled with water. Most of my friends were boys at that time in my life so I played with what they played with. Did I have fun? Yes. Did we hurt anyone. No. Did we know the difference between our toys and real guns? Yes, absolutely! Many of my friends parents had talked to them about guns because they were kept in locked cabinets mainly for the purposes of hunting, but my friends knew not to touch them because their parents had talked about the safety risks. When I was about ten, my brother who is much older than me, showed me his gun once and told me that if I saw it anywhere in the house to never touch it. I don’t know where he kept it. I’m assuming it was in his bedroom, but just seeing it and knowing what it could do scared me.
My short phase of shooting squirt guns with the boys had long past. Playing with those toys didn’t turn me into a violent person or make me a gun fanatic. I like to think that I am a kind sensible person. I don’t know why I’m so bothered by toys that Rosebud will probably barely remember in the grand scheme of things. Part of me worries that people will think I’m a bad parent if Rosebud said anything about playing with toy guns. Then people would wonder what I’m teaching her or allowing her to see. I know I wonder that about some of the kids I work with. The ones who often talk about punching people and going around pretending to shoot guns. The teacher in me is conflicted. We don’t allow play with violent themes in our preschool class which I am fine with. However, I know that the best way for children to explore some of these really difficult themes is through play. It’s hard between finding a balance between exploration and working through issues and not hurting and scaring the other children.
It’s also about what it represents. We live in a different kind of world today. They report that the actual numbers of violent crimes are lower than they used to be, but they are so much more in our face with the constant media exposure. There is also the disconnect between children and adults. We might spend more time in the same spaces, but communicate less.
Rosebud had fun chasing and squirting me for about five minutes and while I never used the words shoot or gun, that doesn’t change the facts. It’s still a toy gun. I don’t want to have to talk about guns and all their consequences. I don’t want to explain how guns hurt and kill people, sometimes even children. One day I will have to when she’s old enough to understand and ask questions. For now, my Rosebud still drinks from a sippy, asks for stroller rides and won’t let go of her pacie. Children deserve that safety and innocence for as long as possible. Maybe it’s hypocritical based on my own childhood experiences, but I prefer Rosebud sticks to baking pretend pies, turning household objects into musical instruments and picnics with teddy bears. What do you do with toys you don’t approve of from well-meaning family members? Let me know in the comments.
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I’m in the beginning stages of starting a business. If I had to compare the process to anything. It would be a plant. It’s a seed right now, but every day, it gets closer to sprouting. Each day, I take one more step closer to this goal. Also, I am being inspired by different things in relation to my writing. I am thinking a lot about my past and how my experiences have shaped who I am, so I will occasionally share that with my readers. I feel that with our political climate the way it is, it is important to share experiences so we can be more connected. These days, it’s easy to lose touch with humanity. We can hide behind a screen. We can stay in our own little bubble with liked-minded people. We all need need like-minded people in our lives, but seeing other perspectives helps us grow. It seems easier than ever to exclude those who aren’t like us. They are removed from us, so it’s easy to forget that many of our experiences are the same at the roots. In order for things to improve for all of us, especially our children who are growing up in this world we don’t understand, this needs to change. What would happen if anyone could reach out and find a mutual point of understanding or a shared experience? I have to write about what inspires me even if it makes others uncomfortable. I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
This weekend, I listened to the 
Several years ago, I applied to a mental health counseling graduate program at one of the local universities. It was quite a process. I did a lot of research on the program to see if it would be a good fit. Everything seemed okay except I had to take the MAT. I didn’t do great on the SATs so I dreaded this and of course it was horrible. Since I didn’t have much time and all the study guides were inaccessible to me, my mom and I poured over so many words we had never heard of and or couldn’t pronounce. If you don’t know what a word means, how can you compare it to another word? Most of the MAT is analogies. The only similarity to me was that these were groups of words that no one uses, ever! I got a score on the MAT that was good enough to get into the program, but it was only by a tiny margin.
