Parenting

Parenting

Learning to Slow Down

This past weekend, the weather was nice for a change so Rosebud and I spent lots of time outside. When we go for walks, Rosebud usually likes to go in the stroller, but I asked if she wanted to walk without it and she did. We walked down our street and found a side path that takes us to our mailboxes. that path is sort of in the woods, but it connects our street with another street in the neighborhood. It is also connected to a small playground nearby. There is only a large climber with a slide there, but if you get bored in your own backyard, there is another option. Anyway, it can be slow walking with a toddler. She likes to stop at each yard and point something out or pick up random stuff on the side of the road.

Mother and daughter walking outside.This started to get old and I found myself getting frustrated at stopping every two seconds, but then I thought this is her walk and normally I’d encourage exploring and looking at the details so I started asking her about everything we were seeing and hearing. She saw leaves blowing in the wind, different decorations in people’s yards, big trees, dogs, cars driving by and kids playing. We heard wind chimes, airplanes, dogs barking, a baby crying, animals moving around in the trees and birds singing. She stopped to pick up rocks, acorns, pinecones, leaves and sticks. She wanted to put everything in her pockets. A couple of times, she even stopped to pick up trash. I’m all for picking up the trash and can’t stand it when people litter, I don’t want her doing it because of her tendency to put everything in her mouth. You never know where that comes from and what kind of germs it could be carrying. I’m always worrying about what she’s putting in her mouth and that’s one of the reasons I’m not a huge fan of outdoor time.

Little girl picking up flower.I love being outdoors. I love nature and getting fresh air. It’s good for both of us. Outdoor time is great for burning off energy and doing activities that Rosebud can’t do indoors. I know how important outside play is, but I get anxious about her possibly swallowing a rock, eating mouth fulls of dirt which she did today or if she tries to run off. My yard is fenced in, but there are lots of places to escape to if we go walking or if we go to the playground that is not fenced in. I know some of this will get better as she gets older and maybe I’ll enjoy outside play more. For now, I will do my best to enjoy these moments outside even if we’ve stopped for the fiftieth time while walking down our short path to the mailboxes because Rosebud is learning and appreciating the world around her.

Our next adventure is filling the sand box. Rosebud loves to dig in the dirt so I know she’ll love it.

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Activities, Art, Parenting

Rubber Ducky Painting

Here is another simple art activity. Lately, we've been using rubber duckies for a lot of our activities. It's a way of transitioning out of Easter themed activities into spring. I keep hoping that if I act like spring is here, then it will show up. My plan hasn't worked yet, but there must be warmer weather in our future.

This was simple to set up. I chose one color at a time. I put a little of paint into a bowl and then showed Rosebud how to stamp using the rubber duckies.

We had two sizes of duckies so we could make different designs. Rosebud enjoyed this activity and did some paintings.

What you will need:

Finger paints,

Rubber duckies,

Paper.

Then let your child explore and make designs. You could set out multiple colors to see how they mix, but I'm not brave enough to give Rosebud anymore than one or two paints at a time.



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Activities, Parenting, Preschool, Sensory Play, Toddlers

Peeps and Pompoms Sensory Tub

Peeps and Pompoms Sensory Tub pinI know Easter has passed, but why not keep playing with eggs and peeps? Rosebud loves all the textures in this sensory tub.

What’s in the tub?

Plush peeps,

Plastic Easter eggs,

Regular and sparkly pompoms,

Small cups,

Mini shovel and spoons.

Peeps and Pompoms pinRosebud made up her own activity. She found a basket and loves to transfer the pompoms from the tub to the basket. She does this over and over again. It’s good fine motor practice. It’s a really simple activity, but she loves it.

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Parenting

When Plans Get in the Way

I think of myself as organized and like to think things through. I prefer to stick to my routines until I get bored out of my mind and then I’ll finally switch it up. I usually prefer familiarity over adventure. Although I’m not opposed to trying new things, it sometimes takes some convincing. I like to think of myself as a planner with flexibility. Meaning I like to make plans, but they aren’t set in stone. I’m okay with a last minute change or two, but generally I like to keep moving in the direction I was headed. That whole version of myself flew out the window when I became a parent. Everything I had imagined and planned out in my head was turned completely up-side-down.

I had always planned on having children, but it was a question of when. I imagined I’d be married, working in a good job and living in a house with a yard. You know… The perfect picture of the perfect family. When I found out I was pregnant, I had none of those things so I often wondered what my child’s life would be like. Would I be able to give her everything I wanted to? I had been creating this picture in my head for years. I was inspired by the stay at home moms who blogged about their homemade baby foods, the cool activities they did with their kids, the cute little lunches they prepared, the play dates, the classes, the freedom and ability to stay home with their children. Somehow, I imagined that’s where I’d be. At home with my baby. I’d prepare homemade baby foods. I’d do all these cool activities with my kids because I have an early childhood education background. Then I’d have something interesting to blog about.

Well, that’s not how things turned out. I’m a working mom who is often too tired when she gets home to prepare and actually do activities. Most nights, we settle for coloring with crayons and a blank notebook. We might snuggle in the chair reading a book or singing songs because that doesn’t require any extra preparation. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by working with children all day and want to zone out, but I know I can’t. My daughter is depending on me to talk to her and play with her.
I never planned on co-sleeping because they say it’s not safe. Plus how can you get a good nights sleep with a baby in your bed? My need for sleep quickly became much more important than any of the crazy ideas I had before I became a parent. Rosebud slept with me for the first fifteen months of her life and contrary to my previous beliefs, I got more rest with her right next to me. I know because occasionally I’d try putting her in her own bed and the separation was harder on me.

I was never going to be a mom who breast-fed. I thought it’d be gross. No one in my family had breast-fed so I knew little about it. I had made up my mind on that years ago, but while I was pregnant, there was so much pressure from society and the research pointing out all the benefits eventually sold me on the idea. Not to mention the convenience of not having to get up and make bottles in the middle of the night. I had no idea how hard it would be and the guilt I would feel when it wasn’t working. I struggled and struggled, but Rosebud and I eventually figured it out together. I never planned on feeling so strongly or being so persistent. She was breast-fed, bottle fed and had to have formula supplementation for a while, but she was and is healthy.
I was going to make her baby food, but then life got in the way. I was tired. I didn’t want to spend so much time in the kitchen so the convenience of store bought food won out. I’ve come to realize it’s not the end of the world. I’m not a bad parent because I didn’t purée her food. So what if it was already prepared. So what if I can’t always buy organic or buy the best brand on the shelf. Isn’t it more important that she is fed and healthy?

In the end, these are short seasons. In parenting there will always be something we are questioning. We will make mistakes. Things will not go as planned. That is the nature of children. They usually march to the beat of their own drum. I think these plans we make or expectations we have end up hurting us and getting the way. They can make us feel ashamed, guilty or not good enough. When in reality, it’s not working because we’ve set the bar extremely high. I think compassion is the key here. I have found strength in letting some of my plans go and focusing on what really matters. The good stuff like health, laughter, time spent together and showing Rosebud that she is loved.

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Memories, Motherhood, Parenting, Pets

An Unexpected Field Trip

The other day, I had to stop at the pet store to buy litter and cat food. Originally I was heading to one of the pet stores in the next town because they have a different selection of food. When we told Rosebud about the pet store, she started talking about all the animals she’d see. There was one problem. The store we were going to didn’t have any animals. I don’t think they even have fish anymore. So, there was a change in plans. We would stop at the pet store closer to home.


An Unexpected Field Trip Pin

As soon as we walked in, Rosebud knew right where to go to see the animals. First, she stopped by the fish and kept commenting on how there were a lot of them. Next, she ran to where the critters are kept. We saw five guinea pigs. She had never seen guinea pigs before, so she didn’t know what they were. I was hoping they’d make their funny noises. If you’ve ever spent a good amount of time around guinea pigs, you know that they make a variety of sounds to liven up the place. That’s one of the joys of guinea pigs. The amount of clean up is not such a joy, but I won’t go there. Anyway, Rosebud enjoyed watching them play together and she found it interesting when they’d stop to grab a bite of hay. She also noticed a ladder in their tank which allowed them to go to the next level.

Normally, the hamsters are hiding, but on this particular day, they were active. One stopped to drink from the water bottle so we talked about how they have to get their water from bottles. One got hungry and decided to sit in the middle of his water bowl to eat. Rosebud thought this was silly. She was fascinated by the wheels in the cages. I explained that the hamsters run on them, but they didn’t want to right now. I wished they had because she would’ve liked to watch them run. She noticed the hamster balls on the shelf so we talked about how they role around in them.

Hamster sitting in food bowl

Next, we looked for the turtle we usually see, but saw snakes instead. We also stopped at the birds pointing out the colors of the different birds. We didn’t stay long though as most of the birds are up too high for her to get a good look. She noticed that there was a ball in their cage so we talked about how birds can play with balls too.

She already has a love for animals and is very interested in learning about them. She constantly looks at books showing animals especially the picture books that have more realistic illustrations.

I’m glad because I love animals as well and caring for and protecting animals is something that is important to me.

If we hadn’t taken our unexpected field trip, I wouldn’t have seen the joy on her face as she watched the guinea pigs play. I wouldn’t have heard the laugh when the hamster climbed into his food bowl. We wouldn’t have talked about the different colored birds. Some of those opportunities for teaching and learning would’ve been missed, but mostly we would’ve missed the joy. The simple joy that can be found in something as mundane as shopping for cat food. You can turn almost anything into a teachable moment and you can make a memory out of the simplest thing. After all, it’s more about who you are with than what you are doing.

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Parenting, Toddlers

11 Lessons A Toddler Can Teach You

Here are some lessons that I’ve learned since Rosebud has brightened up my life.

11 Lessons a Toddler Can Teach You. Girl with cat, pin.

11. Talk to the cats as if they will respond. Tell them about your day, get them involved in what you are doing even when you are brushing your teeth.

10. Always eat your veggies first. It’s the best part of the meal!

Toddler playing doctor with a teddy bear

9. If anyone is unwell in the house including the animals, you must get your doctors kit and get to work.

8. Sparkles in any form must be noticed and commented on.

7. You can always pretend that something is something other than what it is at any time. It shows your creativity and imagination.

Little girl playing with pretend food.6. You must always eat with a fork even if the food is pretend. It’s polite.

5. It’s okay to tell someone that you don’t like something they did unless they’ve cooked you a meal. In that case, you have to tell them the food is delicious even if you avoid eating it at all costs.

11 Lessons A Toddler Can Teach You. Toddler girl playing with hose, pin.

4. If you are caught doing something you shouldn’t, yell really loud. It will distract them and maybe they won’t notice what you did.

3. If you find yourself in front of the tv, you should sing, dance or find some way to interact with it. It keeps your brain working.

2. If someone falls, you should always help them up.

1. Hugs and kisses solve most problems and you can never give too many of them.

Little girl making hugging gesture.

What have your kids taught you? Tell me in the comments.

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Activities

Simple Water Play

Even though filling a tub with water and adding a bunch of random stuff to it is so simple, it has countless benefits for children. This article lists a bunch of them if you are interested in learning more about water play from an educational perspective. Some of the basic math and science concepts such as measuring, sinking and floating or hot vs cold can be taught using water. the best part of water play is that it’s fun and your children can become absorbed in it. Rosebud could sit there forever just playing in the water. She loves bath time, jumping in a puddle or swimming in her pool in the summer.

Since spring doesn’t seem to want to show up this year, it has been cold so I’ve tried to find interesting things for us to do inside. Last weekend, I decided to put some water in a tub, cover the kitchen floor with towels and let Rosebud play and experiment. She had fun scooping, pouring, squeezing the sponge and so on. We talked about whether the water was warm or cold. She commented that it was warm. We counted how many scoops it would take to fill the cups. We talked about sinking and floating. Even though she’s young and doesn’t understand these concepts yet, it’s good for vocabulary building. She got wet of course, but surprisingly my kitchen floor didn’t so the clean up doesn’t have to be a huge undertaking. Another plus is that water play can be relaxing and can help a child Wind down.

What’s in the tub?

Water,

Small cups, (I used the little cups you can put salad dressing in by Tupperware)

Scoops, (one of them was shaped like a shovel and the other round)

Different sized funnels,

Small turkey baster,

Sponge, (This one was shaped like a whale)

Ball, (Just for something different)

You can basically use anything that you can put in water. It’s something you can be creative and have fun with.

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Awareness, Parenting

I Fired My Nurse

The inspiration for this post came this afternoon after an experience at the grocery store. I hate grocery shopping with a firey passion for a lot of reasons which mostly involve the people I encounter there. This particular store plays some sort of monopoly where you get tickets every time you shop there. The only way you ever benefit from the game is if you shop there often and collect lots of tickets. Since I only shop there once in a blue moon, I don’t bother playing. My mom was at the store with me and she went ahead of me in the checkout line. The cashiers always ask if you are collecting the tickets when they start ringing up your items so they asked my mom when she was purchasing her items. then when it was my turn, I had mentioned an something I forgot to get so my mom went to get it for me. Meanwhile, the cashier asks me if I’m collecting tickets. I told her no, but within a few seconds, my mom returns. The cashier proceeds to ask her if I’m collecting tickets and of course she got the same answer. You’re probably thinking, what’s the big deal? Maybe she didn’t hear you. Maybe she spaced out. While those things may be true, situations like these happen to me all the time. Situations where people talk around me like I’m not there and questioning my abilities and maybe even my intelligence at times.

Woman with grocery cart.Normally when I write in my blog, I only focus on the positive and rarely ever write about something so personal, but I suppose that isn’t exactly authentic. People who know me in real life know that I’m visually impaired, but most people who I interact with online don’t. I usually dread telling people and do whatever I can to hide or minimize it. It’s because I know people will think of me differently once they know. I’m having second thoughts about posting this as I type. Anyway, I left the store today in frustration and I didn’t say anything, but there have been times where I’ve stood up to that.

Mother holding newborn baby.While I was in the hospital after Rosebud was born, there were mostly wonderful nurses who were caring and supportive. However, there was one who was absolutely horrible. She was rough while drawing blood from my baby, she was abrupt and generally had a negative attitude. It was obvious that I made her uncomfortable and that she didn’t think I could handle caring for my newborn. I’ll mention that I had a c-section due to complications and it was impacting my ability to breastfeed. Sometimes women who have had c-sections take longer to produce milk because of hormones and the trauma to the body. Anyway, for whatever reason, Rosebud wasn’t feeding very well and like a lot of mothers, I was having trouble getting her to latch. Most of the nurses were fine with helping me with this. Rosebud and I were starting to figure it out, but it was taking time.

I fired my nurse pin

This nurse would make me feel like crap every time I asked for her help. She’d say things like, “we’re working on independence today.” She kept going on and on about how I needed to get up and do things for myself which I had been. I was up and walking around a couple hours after she was born which the other nurses were surprised about. I would call for help with something and she’d take 20 minutes or more to finally show up. She asked what I did for work. I told her that I worked in childcare. Then she asks if I know how to change a diaper so I told her that I’ve changed hundreds, probably thousands of diapers over the years. She started insisting I needed to get up and change Rosebud’s diaper because we were yet again working on independence. I was under doctors orders that I wasn’t supposed to be moving around too much yet, but I would’ve changed her if she had brought her over to my bed, but instead she changed her across the room. Eventually she told me she wasn’t going to help me with any of the latching problems. that I was on my own. I’m sure there was a lot more that was said. It’s been over two years now and since I was hormonal and sleep deprived, I can’t remember every detail, but I finally lost it. When the supervising nurse came in, I told her that I didn’t want that nurse coming into my room again. I didn’t want her near me or my baby. the charge nurse said that she’d make sure she didn’t bother me again. She told me that the nurse was acting inappropriate and rude and encouraged me to fill out the survey that they send out to all patients which I did.

Parenting is challenging enough without dealing with someone questioning your abilities at every turn. I was confident in my ability to care for her, but breastfeeding was totally new to me. No one in my family had done it so I had little support. They didn’t understand why I wanted to continue with it, but I knew it was good for Rosebud. So when I got home, I started researching and talking to other mothers. Eventually everything worked itself out because of my persistence. And, yes, I did it independently. Everything from the research, to working with Rosebud to fix our feeding issues.

A baby floating inside a protective bubble in the clouds.I want other mothers to know that yes, you can fire your nurses. I did not know that and only learned that out of desparation. Also, it’s okay to advocate for yourself. It’s hard and sometimes you don’t know if it’s worth it or not, but it usually is. It’s not okay for people to treat me like that and I wish they wouldn’t, but at times proving people wrong has been a strong motivation for me. It has pushed me hard to achieve my goals. Sometimes it’s okay and absolutely necessary to surround yourself with a protective bubble.

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