Work

My Favorites for July, 2019

July 29, 2019

It’s been a busy month for me, so this list will be short. I have a recipe, a couple of books and some favorite articles to share. On the blog this month, I accepted my first guest post! I’m happy with how it turned out. The perk of letting other bloggers write for you is that you can take a break from creating content. The second change I’ve made is behind the scenes. I have a new blogging schedule. I’ve been using Saturdays and Sundays for writing new content. I try to write two posts per weekend. During the week, I add images, affiliate links etc. This has taken a lot of the stress off and while I was on vacation in June, I was able to write several posts, so if I’m not feeling up to writing posts on a certain week, I have some content ready to go.

For my favorites for July, I have the basics, a recipe, a book and a few articles. Enjoy.

Recipe

Rosebud happened to see them making an ice cream pizza on one of her favorite shows. She seemed excited about this, so I asked her if we should make our own ice cream pizza. We tried this simple Ice Cream Pizza recipe. Rosebud helped make it and of course, we enjoyed having it for dessert. This recipe would be great for a pizza themed party.

For toppings, we used chocolate sauce, M&M’s and chocolate chips, but you can include any kind of toppings you want.

Books

This time, I’ll include two books that can be used as resources. The first book I found by accident. There was a two books for one credit sale going on Audible. It was an educational themed sale, so most of the books were from the Great Courses series. I wanted to take advantage of the deal, but had no idea what to get. Time was running out, so I ended up choosing The Addictive Brain, by Thad A. Polk. This isn’t something I’d normally read, but I chose it because I wanted to understand. Addiction has been a problem in my family and I guess I wanted to try to understand what was behind their behavior. While people take different stances on addiction, this book focuses on the science and the genetic component of addiction. I tried to keep an open mind while reading it and it actually made a lot of sense. Overall, it was an interesting read and I learned something.

At the beginning of July, we had a new baby start with us at the childcare center where I work. He is the sweetest baby ever. He’s happy, cuddly and playful. He’s also deaf. unfortunately, this makes it harder to communicate with him. He doesn’t sign yet, but we are all learning. As someone with low vision, this is even more challenging for me because most of the time, I can’t see if someone is signing. I’ve been learning a couple new signs per week to practice with him. Since he’s usually laying on the floor in front of me, I can watch his hands closely or feel them, but he doesn’t sign back yet. At least he’s getting language in some form. I know it’s probably not good enough and that frustrates me. I want to do more and be able to communicate with him, so I’ve gotten a couple books to learn the basics. The most useful book I’ve found so far is Baby Sign Language Made Easy, by Lane Rebelo. It’s been the most useful for me because of the large images and good descriptions of the gestures. I need detailed descriptions, especially for the subtle visual things. I know it’s better to learn in person, but now this is where I have to start.

I like that the signs in this book are actual ASL and not made up baby signs. I have some ASL guides as well, but they are not as descriptive. This particular book is mainly for parents who want to sign with their hearing babies, but I’m using it since the signs would be the same whether the baby is hearing or deaf. If I’m showing him a sign, I show him the object right before and after the sign. If it’s a more routine task like a diaper change or nap time, I find that more difficult. I’m hoping that if I use the signs every time we do that activity, he’ll start making the association. If you are interested in teaching your baby to sign, this book is a must have.

Articles

An informative article about the dimensions of self-care. This article dives deeper into self-care going beyond the typical self-care rituals to explore the why and the how.

Work Life Balance: Could It Be a Myth? I think we all are looking for this balance, but maybe it doesn’t really exist?

How to Get Baby to Sleep in the Crib Through the Night.

Are you having trouble getting your baby to sleep in his or her own crib? Are you thinking of transitioning your baby to a crib? This post is definitely for you. It’s packed with tips and tricks for baby sleep and one of my posts is featured!

How Your Negative Self Talk Becomes Your Child’s Inner Voice.

A reminder that we need to be kind to ourselves. Our little ones are always watching.

There you. have it, my favorites for July 2019. I’ll be back next month with more, but come back to visit throughout August. You’ll be seeing some back to school posts and other fun surprises.

1 Comment

Blogging, Personal Development

My OneYear Blogging Anniversary

March 19, 2019

A year ago today, I published my first post here on this blog. I hear a lot of people say that they are afraid to start a blog, so they spend months and months planning all the details. They get everything set up first. The website, the social media, they have their theme perfect etc. Not me. I just wrote and when I thought it was good enough, I clicked the publish button. That’s not to say I didn’t give my blog any thought. I did. I struggled to come up with a name. I had created another blog, published one post and decided it wasn’t the direction I wanted to go. I tested out Blogger and WordPress. I did some research about which platform would be best and which hosting company would meet my needs. Eventually I settled on one, but I didn’t have any content planned. I figured I’d write whatever comes to mind. This brings me to the first lesson I learned with the launch of my new blog.

Make a Plan

I knew from the beginning I wanted to monetize my blog, but it sounds silly not to plan ahead when it could potentially become a business. I suppose it’s apart of my self limiting beliefs. Sometimes I wonder who will read my blog? Will anyone care about what I have to say? Then will anyone buy the products I recommend? The only way to know is to try, but there has to be strategy involved. Over the past year, I didn’t make a dime, but I’ve learned to plan ahead. I have a master list of posts, a posting schedule that I stick to as much as possible and am working on strategies for using social media to bring traffic to my blog. I also have a strategy for working on posts. I start with a basic outline or full rough draft depending on how well my writing comes together. Next, I do some editing and then search for pictures. Usually this takes place over multiple days. By the final day, I’m making the final edits, adding tags and finally creating a pin image before publishing. I still write from the heart, but there is now a method to this madness.

Community is Everything

In the blogging world, you need to connect with other bloggers. Facebook groups have become so valuable to me in the past year. If it weren’t for the members of these groups, my blog would get virtually no traffic. Something that I already understood was the importance of commenting on others blogs. This is one way to build a connection. Yes, it leaves a back link to your site, but more importantly you are giving attention to another blogger’s work and often times, they will reciprocate. I love getting comments on my blog. My greatest accomplishments are the comments where readers tell me, “I really needed to read this today.” Making someone feel less alone and or offering support to other moms is the whole reason I created this blog. I like sharing children’s activities, but the posts I love the most are the ones where I share something more meaningful. Something that can connect with other human beings on a deeper level. If I’ve done that, then I’ve succeeded.

Flexibility

When I first created the blog, I was on fire. I had so many ideas. I was posting a lot more. I knew consistency was key, but I ran out of steam quickly. Life got busy and I started feeling guilty if I didn’t post every day or three times per week. Now I’m lucky if I post twice which is my goal, but I’ve learned that one really great post is better than five posts that were thrown together at the last minute. I feel guilty about posting less, but I’ve learned that I need to use my time and energy wisely. I need to spend time with Rosebud. I need to occasionally take a night for self care. Sometimes I just need to step away from the screen and that’s okay. Building a following, monetization and my overall goal of using my blog as apart of my future business is going slower than I would like, but that has to be okay if I don’t want to become totally burnt out.

It’s Hard Work

I knew blogging wasn’t easy, but I had no idea there was so much involved. I spend a lot of time creating content, but you know what takes up just as much time? Promotion on social media. Not only self promotion, but sharing and commenting on other people’s content. Remember I said we needed to build community? Well, making those connections is hard work. You have to keep commenting and keep sharing content so that fellow bloggers will comment on and share yours as well. I never realized how much time it would take to build up a following on social media. These days, most blogs are on multiple platforms which can be a full-time job in itself. I’ve learned that I can’t always be on social media posting every day. Although you need to keep posting to keep your followers engaged, I don’t have enough hours in the day, but I do my best to keep everything up to date.

There’s Still a lot to Learn

Finally, I’ve realized that there’s still so much to learn. I’m starting to explore seo. Pinterest is barely accessible, but I have been working with it over the past month. I will write more about that in a future post, but it’s another platform to get used to. I’ve recently began using Amazon affiliate links again. I have to redo the links in my previous posts, but I will be working hard to create content that make people interested in the products. I still have some things to learn about affiliate marketing. I’m always trying to improve my writing and to generate more ideas. There is always room for improvement, but at the same time, I have to be proud of what I’ve learned so far. I never thought I could set this blog up on my own, but I have. I didn’t know if I’d still be up and running after a year, but here I am.

Here’s to another year of blogging, learning, growing and achieving my blogging goals. what are your blogging goals? What are your biggest accomplishments so far? Tell me in the comments.

13 Comments

Childcare, Gift Giving, Toddlers, Work

Holiday Goody Bags for Toddlers

December 18, 2018

At work, we usually do a secret Santa gift exchange the week before Christmas. Sometimes we give to a family in need and fill a box with gifts. Some of our teachers make up bags for the children and some of them don’t. This year, I wanted to do something a little different. Right now, I don’t have a class of my own. I float, so I spend time in all the rooms, but I spend a lot of time with my toddler classes now and that’s who I decided to shop for.

I knew I wanted to put goody bags together, but most of the bulk items I found were for preschoolers or older. It took a little extra time and effort to find the right things, but here’s what’s inside the bags.

These sweet treat rubber duckies for the girls and these doggy rubber duckies for the boys.

I figured most kids love their baths and the novelty duckies would be a unique spin on a classic toy.

I found these bubbles at the dollar store in packs of three. There’s chocolate, strawberry and vanilla. 
Bubbles are always a hit with toddlers.

I included 1oz containers of play-dough. You can’t do much with only one or two ounces, but I was on a budget. These small sizes are great for travel.

I found packs of cars at the dollar store and included a car in each bag.

Here is a similar set of Matchbox cars.

What kid doesn’t love stickers? I found this sticker pack on Amazon that has a variety of stickers. There are letters, numbers, smily faces, hearts, animals and more. It’s a good buy if you are in the market for small puffy stickers.
 
Finally, I wanted to include a ball, but wasn’t sure what to do since most of the bouncy balls are too small for toddlers. I didn’t want to include anything that was a choking hazard. On the other hand, I didn’t want to find something too big for the bag. I was lucky to find these awesome jumbo bouncy balls that are the perfect size.

I found these paper snowman gift bags. They were the perfect size. For the final touch, I used gift tags with 3d stickers.
 
Is there anything I missed? What fun items have you included in goody bags? Tell me in the comments.

I’m sure the kids will be surprised. I hope they love them. I wish my classes a merry Christmas!

11 Comments

Awareness, Childcare, Education, Preschool, Toddlers, Work

Do’s and Don’ts of Working with Children Who May be Different from You

December 4, 2018

I've been thinking about this post for a while. This topic is close to my heart as I can not only relate to it from my own childhood, but it comes up on some level in my work every day. I know that working with children is stressful. Add to that, behaviors, issues or cultural differences that you may be uncomfortable or unfamiliar with, it can bring the stress to a whole new level. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. We are all human after all and that is the most important thing to keep in mind. For this post, I'll focus on children with disabilities and children who are learning English as a second language, but a lot of this can even be applied with other groups of children or even adults. I'm writing this from the education perspective, but these suggestions can be applied in many situations. Being around people who are different from us not only teaches us about others, but we also learn plenty about ourselves in the process. If you are working with a diverse group of children, here are some do's and don'ts that will make the experience better for all involved.

Respect a person’s body and space

This should be obvious, but so many situations come up where a child is just picked up and moved without a word. I can understand if it is a safety issue or an extreme emergency. There are times when we can’t always stop and explain fully. No one is perfect and these things happen, but I’m talking about the situations where it is possible to ask the child’s permission or to explain what you are doing. For example, if I am picking up a child to change her diaper, I’ll tell her that. If I need to move a child who is having a tantrum and is endangering the other children, I will say something like, I’m going to move you to a place where you can be safe until you calm down.”

I witnessed a situation where two toddlers were arguing over being in the same space playing with a dollhouse. The area was getting very crowded and I was starting to talk to the children about it. All of the sudden, the person I was working with grabs the dollhouse and brings it to a bigger table without a word. This put one child in complete melt down mode. He had no idea why the toy was taken away and what just happened. He proceeded to push a bucket of toys off the table. Meanwhile, I’m trying to gather the toys and am explaining to him that if we move to the table, he can play with the toy. In his mind, that toy was just taken away for no reason. After a couple minutes, he calmed down and I was able to help him understand the situation. That totally could’ve been avoided with just a few simple words. I try to think of it this way. Would I like to be suddenly picked up and plopped down somewhere else without a word? Would I like it if someone grabbed something I was using and brought it to another part of the room? Of course not. It’s something we really need to stay mindful of.

Assume capability

Do think children are capable until proven otherwise. Don’t assume that if a child can’t hear that they won’t understand anything. Use a gesture or two and it might make all the difference. Don’t assume that an autistic child never feels empathy. I worked with an autistic boy who would be the first to show concern if one of his classmates was sad. Don’t assume that a child can never learn. We all have different learning styles. Some of us learn best visually where others learn best through listening. Picture schedules labeling items and having a wide variety of activities that teach the same skill are all great ways to accommodate for different learning styles.

I worked with a co-teacher who told me that this particular child never used words so I started with the basics. I’d wait for quiet moments to practice words with him. We’d look at books when he woke up from his nap. I remember him saying, baby when I’d point out pictures of babies in books. During diaper changes, I’d mention how his wipes were cold and he’d repeat the word cold. We weren’t having conversations yet, but it was a start. There were in fact words there, but my co-teacher was so focused on his inability to speak, that she never took the time to see what he was capable of.

Make a connection

Do find enjoyment and common interests. Continuing the story about the child I previously mentioned, my co-teacher said that he never enjoyed a single activity. I made it my personal mission to prove her wrong every day. I started writing observations about him each day as we were trying to get services for him. Some of the areas I focused on, included social interactions, speech, the day’s challenges and the things he enjoyed. Each day I would list at least one activity that he did that he enjoyed. It could be something as simple as sitting and relaxing in the rocking chair or the more typical childhood activities like play-dough or reading a book. It made me happy to find the things he loved which allowed me to build a connection with him.

Remember Confidentiality

Do treat their sensitive information with care. I’ve heard teachers on the playground say things like, he can’t hear a word you’re saying.” First, if a child has a hearing impairment, no one needs to yell it across the playground. If someone needs to know, tell them in a more discrete way. You never know who is listening or if the information is even completely accurate. In this particular case, one of the older children that was hearing these exchanges started bullying the younger child, telling him he couldn’t come in the play house because he’s deaf. In reality, this child is not deaf. He was having issues with his hearing which seem to have been corrected, but even if he was deaf, he deserves to be treated with respect. Talking to him and trying to understand him would still not be a waste of time.

Be open minded

Do observe and ask questions. Do not make harmful assumptions. I worked with a girl who was learning English as a second language. A coworker would get so frustrated when she wouldn’t respond to her or appeared not to understand what she was saying. She’d often complain and ask, “why aren’t they teaching English at home?” Well, they aren’t speaking English at home because she knows more English than her parents. Also, they may want to keep their culture and traditions which of course includes their native language. What’s wrong with a child knowing two or more languages? Why should her parents have to parent in a language that is not their own? Just to accommodate a childcare provider, I don’t think so. Her parents were trying to teach her English using games and apps which appeared to be working. when she started with our program, she could even read some words in English. It quickly became obvious that she is very smart. I wasn’t put off because I’ve worked with English language learners before. Some things that helped me were using visuals to go along with the words, learning a few key phrases in the child’s home language and having parents share things from their family’s culture.

Hold off on the labels

Do look at the person in front of you. Everything does not need a label. I understand labels are useful. Especially in a world where you need a diagnosis for services like occupational or speech therapy, but there is no need to start labeling someone on the first day. Get to know them a bit before raising the red flags. Be open to the fact that an issue might have more than one explanation. I recently observed a boy walk back and forth over and over again through a pile of leaves. Some suspect that this boy may be autistic, but it may be something totally different. He might just like the sound of the leaves or wanted a more soothing activity. Obviously you wouldn’t diagnose on this one observation, but you’d need to look at the whole picture. Another explanation is that one disability could look similar to another in how it manifests itself. For example, the child who has regained his hearing may be repeatedly walking through the leaves because he’s never heard that sound clearly before. If he’s hearing a sound for the first time, the experience would be suddenly different. It takes time to process these things. If he is having difficulty interacting with his peers, maybe he’s trying to process language that he’s never heard clearly before.

This is why taking the time to get to know the person behind whatever the difference may be is so important. They are not little boxes to check off. They are people. People who think, feel, love and dream. If you are looking for some great ideas on how to easily teach children about diversity check out this post written by Mommy Gone Tropical. Is there anything I missed? Let me know in the comments.

13 Comments

Awareness, Childcare, Education, Personal Development, Work

What to Do When You Feel Hopeless

October 25, 2018

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve felt hopeless, but you keep going because there’s this one thing that is keeping you afloat? It’s this one thing you look forward to regardless of everything else that is horrible about your particular situation. Everyone goes through these dark periods in their life. Unfortunately, I’m in the tunnel right now. A tunnel with no light, but here’s what I’m doing about it. These are some of the things that help me get through disappointment and heartbreak and maybe they can help you too.

I’ve mentioned my work in several posts and how I’ve been trying to take my career in another direction. Well, I’ve been seriously thinking about life/career coaching. I’ve been researching schools, learning everything I can and making a plan. However, it’ll take about a year to become certified as a coach through the program I have picked. In the mean time, I have to keep working because bills need to be paid and food needs to be put on the table. I’ve been using the past few months to do research and have been putting a lot of effort into my blog and hadn’t given much thought to my day job other than, that I’m stuck there for now.

Recently, a new little boy joined our program. He connected with me instantly. On his first day, he started bringing blocks to me so I could help him build towers and ever since then, I’ve been his buddy. The classroom he’s in has been having a lot of ups and downs. It has been a while since they had two regular teachers in there, so I’ve been trying to help out in there as much as I can. He has special needs and requires some extra attention that he wouldn’t be getting if I didn’t take the time. I’m in and out of his room throughout the morning and he often cries and tries to leave with me.

Most of his classmates were previously in another classroom I work in, so I knew them already, but their attachment to me is stronger than ever now. I’m one of the few people who have been a constant for them. Since there was an opening in their classroom, I have been pushing to be a teacher in there. Unfortunately, I didn’t get it which was extremely disappointing. I can’t get into all the details, but there was a lot of sneaky planning and plotting going on. Finally, when a decision was made, there was literally no communication with some of us who were being effected by these changes.

I wanted this job so I could really make a difference for him and the other kids. I was planning which books I would read to them, projects we could do and fixing up the classroom routine. Talking with parents is something I struggle with, so I was planning strategies on getting to know the parents and hopefully building trust. I had it all mapped out in my head. I would take this job, make it as fun as possible for the next year and then when I’d be done with my certification, I could slowly start to build my business. With the news that they had given the job to another coworker, that came crashing down.

I didn’t know if I’d even stay for another day. In fact, I still don’t know how long I will stay, but here’s what I do know. I can still accomplish my goal. I didn’t get this job, but it wasn’t my end goal anyway. It just would’ve been a bonus. Maybe there’s a reason I didn’t get it. Maybe something bigger and better is waiting for me. If you’ve just experienced heartbreak or a major set back, here are some things to try.

Journaling

Journaling is great for getting out feelings and thoughts. You can write whatever comes to mind and sometimes you even learn something new about yourself. After you get all your crummy feelings on paper, it’s easier to let them go. If someone has hurt you, write them an unsent letter. Get those emotions out and then destroy the letter. You can also use your journal to make gratitude lists and remap your goals. If you are focusing on your future and what you are grateful for, you won’t be thinking about that thing that is making you feel like crap right this minute.

Reaching Out

Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to someone. Whether it be friends, family or even a therapist. Sometimes, you need someone to bounce ideas off of. Maybe you want someone to empathize or just listen.Just knowing that you have someone’s undivided attention helps and of course you can return the favor when your friends or family are struggling. Let someone be there to help. You’ll feel better knowing that someone is on your side. At first, I thought no one would be on my side in this situation, but after reaching out and talking to some people, I’ve learned that others are seeing the same things I am. At first, I felt very much alone and started to wonder if I was over reacting, but others have validated my experience. If I hadn’t reached out, I would have continued feeling alone.

Get Active

Take a walk, try yoga, do a workout routine, go swimming, anything active. It will help blow off steam and is good for your overall physical and mental health. Taking a walk this weekend helped me. It was nice to just be outdoors, getting fresh air and being in nature.

Pamper Yourself

I treated myself this weekend. I made myself some yummy brownies that I shouldn’t have, but I was desperate for chocolate. I did lots of writing and spent time doing art projects with Rosebud. If you are doing things that you really enjoy, your mind is occupied and you won’t be thinking about those negative experiences. Other self care ideas include spa day, bubble bath, cooking a nice meal, shopping or whatever relaxes and re-energizes you.

I hope these tips help you pick yourself up off and dust yourself off after a huge disappointment. Try to remember that you are worthy of good things. How do you move past disappointments? Tell me in the comments. As always, thank you for reading.

6 Comments

Awareness, Childcare, Education, Parenting, Personal Development, Work

Can We Stop Being so Judgmental Already?

October 20, 2018

This post was inspired by an interaction I had with a coworker this week. For those who may be stumbling across my blog for the first time, I work in an early childhood program. As is the case with most programs, we have parents fill out intake paper work before the child joins us. This way, the teachers can get to know some basic information about the child. This is meant as a starting point, but all too often, teachers already are making judgements and have formed an opinion of the child and or the parents before even meeting the child. As teachers, we really need to be mindful of this as it can damage a relationship with the child and family before it has even begun.

I was sitting with a coworker at nap time as I usually do and she was reading an enrollment form for a child who will be joining us soon. After almost every item, she made a snarky comment. Although my coworker’s children are grown now, she must remember being a parent to young children. We learned that the child’s father recently left the family. The mother works and is now single. She is young and the little boy is her first and only child. We learned that he sleeps in the same room with her. It wasn’t clear if they bed share. His bed time is between 8:30 and 9 and he watches about three hours of tv each night.

While these may not be some of the parenting choices I’d make, it’s not my place to judge. I have no idea what goes on in their household. When we read that the boy sleeps in the same room with his mom, her comment was, oh, god. My comment was, maybe they have a small apartment or maybe he’s having some anxiety since his dad left recently so for now he sleeps with her? Another explanation may be that she misses him since she works all day and likes being close to him. We have to choose the sleeping arrangement that works best for our family.

When we learned that he watches three hours of tv each night, her comment was, “that’s way too much tv. That’s a lot. I don’t even watch that much tv.” I mentioned that maybe that’s why his bed time was late because I’ve read research that shows that it takes children longer to settle if they watch tv right before bed. I said that the mom is young and newly single, that maybe she has a lot to do at night and that’s why he is watching so much tv. I really can empathize with this mom. Rosebud watches more tv than I would like, but there are times when I need to clean, cook, make phone calls etc. It’s hard to do that when you have a toddler who wants all your attention. While the teacher in me whole heartedly agrees that it’s too much tv, the parent in me understands.

These days, I am much more likely to view things from a parent perspective, but it hasn’t always been that way. About four years ago, we had a baby in our infant room who had a huge appetite. At least that’s what we thought. His mother would send him with a few small bottles of breast milk. Each of the bottles had two to three ounces which is completely normal and appropriate for breast-fed babies. However, we didn’t know that at the time. Between bottles, the child would scream and suck his hands. He seemed very hungry so we would tell the mother that he needed more bottles and one teacher kept suggesting that that they needed to supplement with formula.

While I don’t think we were completely wrong about him being hungry, here is what we weren’t understanding. Smaller more frequent feedings is the norm for breast-fed babies and paced feeding is an absolute must. We should’ve been questioning the flow of the nipple. Maybe it was too fast and he was drinking too quickly. Maybe if we slowed him down, he would’ve felt more satisfied. Also, it was insensitive to suggest supplementation before trying other options. There are a lot of intense feelings involved with breast-feeding and supplementation can be a sensitive issue. It can also mess with a mother’s milk supply.

Back then, I was not a parent yet and knew nothing about breast-feeding. One co-teacher was in the same boat as I was and the other co-teacher was a parent, but she formula fed. We had no idea and the fact is this mother was doing everything right in her situation and we had no business judging. We’d say things like, why doesn’t she bring more milk? Doesn’t she realize he’s hungry? She really needs to start bringing formula.

After I became a parent, I understood. I learned all I could about breast-feeding and was having my own experiences with supplementation, not producing enough milk, feeling like a failure as a parent and eventually being successful with it. I finally could walk in her shoes. When I look back, I feel bad. Now, when there doesn’t seem to be enough milk, I wonder what we can do to help. I wonder if the mother has the same supply struggles that I did. Now that I have a new understanding, I am in a better position to relate to and advocate for the children and families I work with. As for the baby, the mom never changed the size of his bottles, but after we started the transition from a bottle to sippy cup and solids were introduced, things settled down. She never caved and gave him formula. She stuck to what she knew in her heart was right and that’s what we all need to do.

The next time you are in a situation where you or someone else is judging, step back. Do some alternative thinking. If there is something that doesn’t make sense to you, come up with other possibilities. For example, the little boy watches three hours of tv each night. That is not a parenting choice I’d make, but in my head, I made a list of reasons why that might happen. Maybe mom is making dinner, cleaning or trying to study. Maybe she needs a break after a long day of work. Her job might be stressful and she needs some time to herself. Maybe that’s how her and her child bond over watching shows together. That felt much better than jumping on my coworker’s train of thought of negativity. When you reframe something and come up with a different interpretation, you may be able to understand that person or interaction better. The choice to judge or not judge starts with you. How do you avoid making judgements about others? Let me know in the comments.

16 Comments

Awareness, Blogging, Parenting, Work

Some Dreams Come True

October 3, 2018

I’m participating in the 21 Day Blogging Challenge. Although I might not do all the posts in 21 days, I would like to eventually use all the prompts for entries, so here is my first entry for the 21 day challenge.

Most people don’t know what they want to do with their life when they are six or seven years old. It changes from day to day or week to week for most kids. One day, they might want to be a fire fighter and a few days later, they proudly tell you that they want to be a scientist. Kids have such imaginations and I admire their ability to dream and think big. I wish I had more of that. Even when I was a little girl, I kept it practical. I thought small or at least that’s how I look at it now. I remember a relatively short phase where I’d tell people I was going to be a secretary and pretend to talk on the phone and write in my appointment book. I think I got this idea from my mom because she worked in an office at the time. More often, I would tell people I wanted to take care of babies when I grew up. Until a few years ago, my aspirations rarely changed.

I always thought it’d be so fun. I dreamed of playing every day. I’d get to do all the cool things I remember from my childhood. I would get to help make childhood experiences memorable for the children I work with. We’d play with play-dough, build with blocks, play in the water, take field trips to fun places and discover the wonders of nature. We’d make gingerbread houses for Christmas and carve pumpkins on Halloween. We’d make snacks that look like animals or have funny faces on them. I could plan cool lessons. I would help the kids create awesome art projects. I pictured that every day. I didn’t think too much about diaper changes, paper work and behavior management. Not to mention difficult parents.

My dream was to provide a safe and fun place for children. When I was young, I never had that safe place. I was safe in my family home. I was safe at my relatives houses. That is more than some people have and I am grateful for that. However, the childcare facilities and homes I went to were unsafe and abusive in some cases. No one knew how bad things were for me at the time. As I got older and put things into perspective, I wanted to ensure that I was providing a safe space for children.

As I have been exploring what my passions really are, I’ve been wondering if that was my real dream at all. From a young age, I remember wanting to be a mom. I knew I’d have babies. I’d think about possible baby names, fun things I would do with them and what I wanted my family to be like. The thing is, I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that. I had internalized the idea that there was a question of whether I could raise kids. Everything from diaper changes to teaching them life’s lessons. I had no doubt in my mind that I could do it, but somewhere along the way, the messages from society and those around me started to seep in. My confidence slipped and in the back of my mind, I understood that working in childcare could be kind of a preparation. I figured that if I could work caring for children, then people couldn’t question my abilities as a parent. Sometimes I wonder how it would’ve been for me as a parent if I did not have all this early childhood knowledge before hand. I think it would’ve been twice as overwhelming.

I knew that the babies were my favorite, but when it came time to apply for my first childcare job, I was working with a program coordinator. He was in charge of summer job placements. When they asked which age group I wanted to work with, I really wanted the babies, but I said the preschoolers. I was thinking practical and as always, questioning my own abilities. I was afraid of getting it wrong. What if I didn’t know what the babies needed or wanted because they couldn’t talk to me? How would I communicate with them? I was worried about the feedings and diaper changes. Of course everyone agreed that I should work with the older kids. If I would’ve spoken up, maybe my path would’ve been different.

With the way things have turned out, I often think of my choice to work in early childhood as one of my biggest regrets. These thoughts creep in on days where I don’t feel like I’m making a difference. When I feel over worked and under appreciated. Then there are the days that I’m grateful. I wouldn’t have met the kids who have touched my heart. I would’ve never met Sophie, a shy and extremely bright girl I met during my internship. We were both new to the program. She needed some extra attention and I became her favorite person at school. We developed a strong bond over those few months until she moved away. She’d be a teenager now, but working with someone like her was exactly what I pictured all those years ago. Since then, there have been several other children who I have built strong attachments with. Some of them have taught me some very valuable lessons.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I’ve been exploring different career options and would love to start my own business. Working from home with a flexible schedule so that I can spend more time with Rosebud is still a dream of mine, but for years, I have been wondering what my purpose was. Why have I been stuck in this situation? What lessons haven’t I learned yet? I’ve been so down in recent months that I’ve found it difficult connecting with the kids and have felt like I’m part of a machine. A machine that runs on autopilot. One that doesn’t think and doesn’t feel. That is until recently. A new boy joined one of our classrooms and although I won’t get into specifics of his situation, I feel that he needs an advocate. Someone who understands his situation. Someone who really cares and will look out for him.

Maybe this was my purpose and it has just been shown to me. Maybe I can make a difference in his life, even if it is just being his favorite person at school. If I can make him feel safe, welcomed and confident in his abilities, then I have fulfilled one of my life’s purposes.

Sometimes, those little dreams and practical thoughts can lead to something much bigger. We just have to be open to going down our own path, remembering that when we’ve made a wrong turn, we can still discover something amazing. Almost three years ago, I got the unexpected gift of being a mom, proving that some dreams come true, but not always in the times or ways you planned.

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Awareness, Personal Development, Work

Permission to Let Go

August 26, 2018

I have felt very distracted this week. Every time I sit down to write, something gets in the way. Even now, the words are not flowing even though I am at peace with the decision I’ve made. I’m choosing to start over and follow a different path, yet again and I want to share this process with you. Especially, if there is something in your life that it’s time to let go of.

I am choosing to let go of the transcription business idea. There have been so many obstacles beyond what is normal. First, there was the discrimination which I would get no matter the field, but this was so blatant that it was even a surprise to me. Then I decided that my time, energy and effort was worth way more than 17 cents. The pitiful amount that some of these transcription companies pay their independent contractors is absolutely appalling. As one transcription group member said, “it’s highway robbery.” Finally, I took the time to apply to a third company and was so happy when I passed their test. Then when I received the daily E-mail with the work assignments, everything is in Google Sheets. While I can read the spread sheet, I can’t tell which assignments are completed and which need to be worked on. Their ways of assigning and completing work are very confusing to me. It was at that moment when I decided I was done!

As I’ve thought about this more and more, I’ve realized that this isn’t something I’m truly passionate about. If you aren’t passionate about your business, you will not succeed. I have no desire to push through all the accessibility barriers with each company I contact. I thought my grammar skills were okay until I tried brushing up on grammar and punctuation rules. I realized I want to be creating content. I don’t want to be duplicating and editing someone else’s. I don’t want to have to nitpick about commas, dashes and colons. I don’t want to transcribe phone calls where people sound like they’re under water or crappy audio with a constant buzz in the background. Most transcriptionists have multiple transcribing and sound editing software programs so that they can make the files understandable. Also, each company has a different style guide you have to memorize. For example, some companies want you to take out filler words and others prefer you leave most of them in. One company insists you type the curse words and another company requires that you use * symbols instead. Those are the simple rules, but these style guides go on for pages. The appeal of my own business is to follow my own guidelines, not everyone else’s.

The thing that drew me to transcription was the idea that I could make content accessible to people who needed it. The thing is, the people who genuinely need something transcribed shouldn’t have to pay extra for it. For example, if someone can’t hear, should they really have to pay for equal access? I don’t believe so. It’s a double edge sword. You want to provide a service and get adequately compensated for it, but then you don’t want to charge for something that should be available to them anyway. I also understand that providing access is only one part of the transcription field. Of course, I liked that I could transcribe from anywhere and have a flexible schedule.

Now, here’s the good part. On that horrible day when I decided that enough was enough, I was scheduled to talk to a life coach. I had come across her in a parenting group on Facebook a few weeks ago. She is currently getting certified, so I asked her about the process and didn’t think much about it. I had almost forgotten about the call and when I realized it was scheduled for that night, I was dreading it. I was in such a horrible mood that I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I wanted to curl up with the blankets over my head. Not to mention that I hate calling anyone I’ve never talked to before, but I made the call anyway. I knew as soon as I heard her voice that I’d like her. She shared lots of information about the program and answered my endless questions. During our call, she did a mini coaching session and when she asked what my dream career would be, my first thought was coaching. I told her that I have really struggled finding a meaningful career and that I’d like to help others to get passed their road blocks and find what excites them. It became glaringly obvious to me that transcription didn’t even pop into my mind.

The next morning, I started researching coaching schools and coming up with great ideas for a business plan. This is something I’m actually excited about and so many of the barriers that are there with transcription won’t exist in the coaching business. When I look back, the signs were all there. Physically, I was exhausted, stressed and felt low energy. I rarely had time to transcribe actual files or to practice at night. I wanted to be the best that I could be and I wasn’t able to do that. The money wasn’t there. The business counselor I was supposed to work with has been impossible to set up a meeting with. At first, my instinct was to push through, but then I started focusing on my mind and body. How was I feeling? Was I still passionate about my idea? When I really tuned into my thoughts and feelings, I knew it was time to let this go. After I did, I felt like a weight had been lifted. I had my evenings back. I could work on my blog. I could exercise. I could relax. Once I gave myself permission to let go, I felt so much better.

What do you need to let go of? What are you no longer passionate about? What are you passionate about and how could you be doing that instead? Those are some questions to ponder if you are in a similar situation. How do you know when it’s time to let go of something? Let me know in the comments.

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Work

I’m Worth More Than $.17

August 12, 2018

To say that I’ve been busy for the past few weeks would be an understatement. Normally, I’m dragging myself out of bed around 6 O’clock and I start my day off with exercise. I can only get a half hour in if I’m lucky because Rosebud wakes up soon after. Then I get us both ready for the day while trying to do random chores around the house. I spend an exhausting day at work. When I get home, I like to spend some quality time playing with Rosebud before dinner. After dinner, there is more play time, bath, reading and finally, bed. She doesn’t usually fall asleep until around 8:30. This is when I finish whatever chores need to be done.

I used to use the evenings for writing, catching up on E-mail and exercising. I want to do at least an hour of exercise each day and I am unable to do it all in the morning. I’ve been thinking of switching up my routine to find a workout that can be done in less time that has equal or better results. Anyway, since I started planning for the transcription business, my schedule has fallen apart.

By 9 O’clock, I’m exhausted. The last thing I want to do is transcribe files, but I’ve been trying. Last week, I posted about my terrible experience with a company I won’t name. This week, I signed up with Casting Words. Their application process was straight forward and things seemed accessible for the most part. However, there is not much work for beginners in the evenings. Yesterday, I took a vacation day from my regular job and I figured I’d work on some files while Rosebud napped. Of course that didn’t happen. Rosebud took much longer than expected to nap and by the time I got to typing, I was frustrated. When I opened the files, I discovered that you could only hear some of the speakers in each file. They wanted these meetings transcribed, but you could barely hear what everyone was saying. I understand this is part of the job and I will have to get use to it. I eventually found a file that was suitable and accepted the job, but when I tried downloading the audio, I couldn’t. I don’t know if it is an issue with their website or if it is an issue on my end, but I am completely discouraged.

I had to return the job, but I realized something. This is too much work for 17 cents per minute. It is 17 cents per audio minute, not for each minute you are working on the file. For example, the average transcriptionist might take 3-4 hours to type a file that is one hour long.

I have to be worth more than this. My time, energy and sanity have to be worth more than this. I have decided to take a break from practicing and applying to companies because I need my time in the evenings. I will have a meeting with a business counselor sometime in September and there may be a way that I could get help paying for training. Until then, I need to recharge.

I’m questioning everything. Is this business even right for me? If so, how will I make time to build up clients or to get the training? How can I do all of this while working at my day job that is so depleting? I constantly am wondering why I’m hitting all these brick walls. Do these signs mean I’m trying to go down the wrong path? I think I’d be good at transcription because I’m a good listener and a fast typist. I also don’t mind doing a bit of research. What draws me to the field is the idea of making information equally accessible to everyone. That is really important to me. I also enjoy learning new things and with general transcription, you never know what you may be working on from one day to the next. You could be working on a boring lecture one minute, but an awesome podcast the next. That being said, when I think about what I’m really passionate about, the things that come to my mind are being at home with my daughter and working on my writing. Unfortunately, neither of those things pay the bills. In the end, I’m still stuck with the wheres, whys and hows. Right now, I feel like I’m juggling and the balls are not staying in the air. Are you juggling? Are you trying to meet the demands of parenting, working, school or starting a new business? How do you do it? Let me know in the comments.

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Awareness, Education, Personal Development, Self acceptance,, Work

When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens

July 2, 2018

I’ve been thinking a lot about my career path, my purpose in life and what I’m really passionate about. I’ve been taking an honest look at what I truly want and what would be a good fit for me. I’m reminded of the paths I could’ve chosen and the doors that were opened and closed for me.

Open door to green meadows. Several years ago, I applied to a mental health counseling graduate program at one of the local universities. It was quite a process. I did a lot of research on the program to see if it would be a good fit. Everything seemed okay except I had to take the MAT. I didn’t do great on the SATs so I dreaded this and of course it was horrible. Since I didn’t have much time and all the study guides were inaccessible to me, my mom and I poured over so many words we had never heard of and or couldn’t pronounce. If you don’t know what a word means, how can you compare it to another word? Most of the MAT is analogies. The only similarity to me was that these were groups of words that no one uses, ever! I got a score on the MAT that was good enough to get into the program, but it was only by a tiny margin.

The next step was the interview. I remember sitting across from two women. I don’t remember most of the questions, but I’m sure they asked the usual things. Why do you want to do this program? I’m sure they asked about previous work and academic experience. I remember them asking if there were clients I wouldn’t want to work with. I wasn’t sure what to say. I might have mentioned something about having difficulty working with child abusers, but the main thing I remember from the interview was explaining that I get frustrated with a cookie cutter approach. I believe that since each person is an individual, their treatment shouldn’t be based on the experiences of others. It shouldn’t be based on what stereotypes of the groups the person belongs to. The assumption that everyone should be the same and respond to the same treatment is what bothers me. Maybe it’s unrealistic or idealistic, but there should always be wiggle room for someone’s individuality, autonomy and the ability to have a say in the treatment or services being provided. I answered the questions to the best of my ability so I felt optimistic when the interview was over.

Cookie cutter people.

A few weeks later, I open my mailbox to find an envelope from the school. I started opening it on my way back up to my apartment. I wasn’t concerned. I figured I’d get in. I had done everything they asked for so when I saw that I got rejected, it stung.

I always had some doubts about whether counseling was right for me. Did I really want to hear about other people’s problems day in and day out? I wasn’t sure. Did I really want to deal with all that paper work? Could I really do this for a living? These questions swirled around in my head, but friends and family thought I’d be a good counselor. They told me I’m a good listener, I’m compassionate and want to help people. They told me that since I’ve been through a lot so I should be able to help others. The question I kept asking myself was not whether I was able to, but whether I wanted to. Was I doing this for myself or to please others? They told me I’d be successful. I’d make money. They gave me all kinds of reasons so I gave it a try even though I wasn’t entirely comfortable. I told myself maybe I’d like it. Since I was having a horrible experience where I was working at the time, I figured it would be a good way out. A major step up.

Since then, I’ve wondered what went wrong. Was it the low vision? A professor once told the class that blind people couldn’t be counselors because they couldn’t see body language. Therefore, they had no way of knowing how people were feeling. Although I can see some body language, it’s limited and that’s not the primary way I know how someone is feeling. I usually don’t get this wrong. My classmates immediately told me to call in and say something to her. It was a class over ITV. I didn’t though. I was too embarrassed plus I had to have a few courses with this professor and I wanted to continue getting good grades. She had no idea about me anyway because we never met face to face. Most of us were just faceless names to her. Maybe these interviewers felt the same way? It also could’ve been an answer to a question or the other applicants had better test scores. It could’ve been any number of reasons.

Just because my path is different, doesn’t mean I’m lost.

I shed a tear or two over that letter. They said I could reapply the following year, but I knew in that moment I never would. I took it as a sign that counseling wasn’t the right fit. Now that I think back. I am glad things turned out the way they did. My tears were more about failing or being rejected. I was disappointed that I didn’t get in, but relieved because I was unsure about counseling in the first place. That door closed, but the doors stayed open to things that are more exciting are a better fit for me. If I were to go down a counseling path, I would be interested in career counseling, but it took years of job searching and being dissatisfied with my job to figure that out. I wouldn’t have had that experience if I had went with my gut instinct and that’s really the lesson. A lesson that I’ve had to learn time and time again. Who am I really doing all this for? At the end of the day, the person I need to be happy with is myself. Sometimes failing is not really a failure, but an experience that redirects you, returning you to the path that was meant for you.

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