Disability

Toy Recommendations for Christmas 2019

November 19, 2019

When I asked Rosebud what she wanted for Christmas this year, she didn’t have an answer. Luckily for her, I have found some cool toys that she will be excited to find under the tree on Christmas morning.

When I’m looking for toys for her, I try to choose things that are open ended to encourage creative play. I also look for toys that will grow with her over time. I like it when toys are educational, but not in a traditional sense. More importantly, I want to get her toys she’ll have lots of fun playing with, so I’m looking forward to seeing what she will do with these new toys. Everything on this list is great for preschoolers ages three to five.

Building

Rosebud loves to build and she loves these Picasso magnet tiles. I bought them for Christmas last year and highly recommend them. She’s played with them almost every day since. We’ve made houses for animals, castles for Barbie, trees, divider boxes for sorting items etc. She comes up with new buildings every time she uses these. I was thinking of getting her a second set, but I wanted something different for to add to her creations. Magna Tiles are a great brand and admittedly, they are on the expensive side, but I caved and got her this Stardust set. These tiles are either glittery or have mirrors. I think she’ll love pairing these with the PicassoTiles.

I also saw these magnetic people that work with this kind of blocks. She loves playing with toy people and these community helpers will be great to add to her buildings.

Science

Kinetic sand

This stuff is amazing! It’s popular with my preschool class, so I just had to get some of this for Rosebud. I love how it sticks together like real sand. It’s not too messy and I even like to sit and play with it. I was torn between the beach set and the bakery set, so I bought both. Rosebud is loving the color purple right now, so I’d like to get her the purple shimmer too. The beach set has the most sand out of all of them and it’s actually a good buy. If you want a quiet sensory activity, I highly recommend this sand.

Toy Sink

I originally wasn’t going to get her this, but I got one for a friend of Rosebud’s for his birthday. Since Rosebud saw it, she has asked why she can’t have one. I think I’ll give this to her on her birthday. You put water in the bottom of the sink and when you turn on the fossit, the water comes out like a regular sink. It comes with dishes to wash, pretend dish soap and a sponge. Why not teach kids to wash dishes along side you?
 
Dramatic Play

Rosebud loves to play in her pretend kitchen, so I wanted to get her some new play foods to experiment with.

She loves pancakes, so I got her this pancake making set by Melissa & Doug. It has everything you need to make perfect pretend pancakes.
 
She loves to bake with me, so I got her a spice rack. This way, she can addd spices to her baking or cooking up a nice meal.
 
She has a lot of fruits and vegetables, breakfast foods and sweets, but I wanted her to have some food to make pretend meals. She loves pasta and I found this cool Melissa & Doug pasta making set. It has a variety of pastas with all the toppings. I know she’ll have fun with this.
 
To wrap up the dramatic play category, I got her this Baby Alive doll with cupcakes. Her birthday is right around Christmas and I thought this would be a great gift. She has started to really enjoy playing dolls in the past few months and she loves to set up pretend birthday parties.

Games

Rosebud is starting to have a better understanding of games and I found a couple simple games to start off with.

First, there’s The Very Hungry Caterpillar. She loves the book, so I thought the game would be fun and easy for her to play. Next, there’s Pete The Cat buttons game. She loves all the Pete the Cat books, so she’ll definitely love this game. The Pete the Cat cupcakes game would be fun too and I may still get that one for her as well.

I am also getting her some books, but I will save our winter book list for another post. What will be under your tree this year? Tell me in the comments.

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My Favorites

My Favorites for July, 2019

July 29, 2019

It’s been a busy month for me, so this list will be short. I have a recipe, a couple of books and some favorite articles to share. On the blog this month, I accepted my first guest post! I’m happy with how it turned out. The perk of letting other bloggers write for you is that you can take a break from creating content. The second change I’ve made is behind the scenes. I have a new blogging schedule. I’ve been using Saturdays and Sundays for writing new content. I try to write two posts per weekend. During the week, I add images, affiliate links etc. This has taken a lot of the stress off and while I was on vacation in June, I was able to write several posts, so if I’m not feeling up to writing posts on a certain week, I have some content ready to go.

For my favorites for July, I have the basics, a recipe, a book and a few articles. Enjoy.

Recipe

Rosebud happened to see them making an ice cream pizza on one of her favorite shows. She seemed excited about this, so I asked her if we should make our own ice cream pizza. We tried this simple Ice Cream Pizza recipe. Rosebud helped make it and of course, we enjoyed having it for dessert. This recipe would be great for a pizza themed party.

For toppings, we used chocolate sauce, M&M’s and chocolate chips, but you can include any kind of toppings you want.

Books

This time, I’ll include two books that can be used as resources. The first book I found by accident. There was a two books for one credit sale going on Audible. It was an educational themed sale, so most of the books were from the Great Courses series. I wanted to take advantage of the deal, but had no idea what to get. Time was running out, so I ended up choosing The Addictive Brain, by Thad A. Polk. This isn’t something I’d normally read, but I chose it because I wanted to understand. Addiction has been a problem in my family and I guess I wanted to try to understand what was behind their behavior. While people take different stances on addiction, this book focuses on the science and the genetic component of addiction. I tried to keep an open mind while reading it and it actually made a lot of sense. Overall, it was an interesting read and I learned something.

At the beginning of July, we had a new baby start with us at the childcare center where I work. He is the sweetest baby ever. He’s happy, cuddly and playful. He’s also deaf. unfortunately, this makes it harder to communicate with him. He doesn’t sign yet, but we are all learning. As someone with low vision, this is even more challenging for me because most of the time, I can’t see if someone is signing. I’ve been learning a couple new signs per week to practice with him. Since he’s usually laying on the floor in front of me, I can watch his hands closely or feel them, but he doesn’t sign back yet. At least he’s getting language in some form. I know it’s probably not good enough and that frustrates me. I want to do more and be able to communicate with him, so I’ve gotten a couple books to learn the basics. The most useful book I’ve found so far is Baby Sign Language Made Easy, by Lane Rebelo. It’s been the most useful for me because of the large images and good descriptions of the gestures. I need detailed descriptions, especially for the subtle visual things. I know it’s better to learn in person, but now this is where I have to start.

I like that the signs in this book are actual ASL and not made up baby signs. I have some ASL guides as well, but they are not as descriptive. This particular book is mainly for parents who want to sign with their hearing babies, but I’m using it since the signs would be the same whether the baby is hearing or deaf. If I’m showing him a sign, I show him the object right before and after the sign. If it’s a more routine task like a diaper change or nap time, I find that more difficult. I’m hoping that if I use the signs every time we do that activity, he’ll start making the association. If you are interested in teaching your baby to sign, this book is a must have.

Articles

An informative article about the dimensions of self-care. This article dives deeper into self-care going beyond the typical self-care rituals to explore the why and the how.

Work Life Balance: Could It Be a Myth? I think we all are looking for this balance, but maybe it doesn’t really exist?

How to Get Baby to Sleep in the Crib Through the Night.

Are you having trouble getting your baby to sleep in his or her own crib? Are you thinking of transitioning your baby to a crib? This post is definitely for you. It’s packed with tips and tricks for baby sleep and one of my posts is featured!

How Your Negative Self Talk Becomes Your Child’s Inner Voice.

A reminder that we need to be kind to ourselves. Our little ones are always watching.

There you. have it, my favorites for July 2019. I’ll be back next month with more, but come back to visit throughout August. You’ll be seeing some back to school posts and other fun surprises.

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Awareness, Blogging

How I’ve Made Pinterest Work for Me

July 15, 2019

Last year, I wrote a post about all the reasons I didn’t use Pinterest. As I said in that post, I wanted to use it. I knew that Pinterest drives traffic to blogs. I knew that there were Pinterest users that would be interested in the topics that I write about. Topics related to motherhood and activities for kids are huge on Pinterest. Unfortunately, for me, there were a lot of barriers. When I tried to use Pinterest, I became very discouraged and didn’t know if I’d ever be able to use it properly. If you’ve been reading my blog at all this year, you’ll have noticed the pins on the newer posts and I’ve gone back and updated some older posts as well. I’m happy to say that I am now able to use Pinterest, but it took lots of learning and researching, trial and error and waiting for features to become accessible. Now I will explain how I’ve made Pinterest work for me as a visually impaired blogger. Plus, I’ll give you some Pinterest tips for beginners.

Pinterest Strategies

One of the things that put me off about Pinterest was that I had no idea how to use it. At first, I was just pinning my blog posts and other things at random. I wasn’t sure how many boards to have, how to organize them, when to schedule pins, how often to repin the same items etc. There is a lot that goes into pinning and promoting your posts. That’s why this free Pinterest Course for New Bloggers is so valuable. This is a free E-mail course that gives you step by step instructions on how to set up your Pinterest profile, set up your boards, find appropriate keywords for Pinterest SEO, create pins that convert and more. It’s free, so it’s definitely worth checking out and it’s a great starting point. Especially if you are new to Pinterest! One lesson from the course focuses on Pinterest group boards which are important for your blog content reaching a wider audience. If you’re not sure how to find or collaborate on Pinterest group boards, Marina from Tinylovebug has you covered. Check out her post, Everything You Need to Know About Pinterest Group Boards.

Equal Access on Pinterest

While I was researching and learning about Pinterest strategies, I was waiting for Pinterest to become accessible. If you’ve read some of my previous blog posts, you might know that I’m visually impaired. I use a screen reader to access everything on the web and sometimes, websites or apps are broken. Meaning, they do not function well or at all with a screen reader. I happen to use Voiceover which is built into all Apple products, but there are other Windows based screen readers as well. Some common accessibility problems with websites or apps may be that buttons or links are not labeled, buttons or links are not clickable or in some cases, websites or apps may be completely image based which means the screen reader cannot read the text or any of the features that may be clickable. Even though a link may be labeled visually for you with some text or an image, the screen reader may just say the word link or it may be a string of letters and numbers that don’t tell us what the link leads to. There are lots of accessibility bugs that we may face on a daily basis which I won’t get into here, but unfortunately, Pinterest has many.

Last year, Pinterest was almost completely inaccessible to me. I was able to create an account, but that was about it. I couldn’t read pin descriptions, the blog posts after clicking through a pin, the notifications tab, anything in the following tab and so much more. There was a huge laundry list of features I couldn’t access. When I asked other visually impaired bloggers about this problem, they just told me not to bother with Pinterest since it is so visual anyway, but that answer wasn’t good enough for me. Pinterest is the largest source of traffic for blogs these days. Why shouldn’t I be able to participate in that? It frustrated me, but I waited. Every now and then, I’d try again. One day, it worked!

I found that I was able to upload my pins, read the pin descriptions and blog posts of others, save and send pins, collaborate on group boards and access most of the profile settings. In the beginning, I could barely do any of that, but Pinterest still has a ways to go. There are still a lot of bugs. I can’t read my messages, so what I do is take a screen shot and then export that photo to an app that can read text from photos. I still can’t read anything in the notifications tab unless I’m in Safari. When I add hashtags, a menu pops up with other hashtags that I can’t read. I can’t read or respond to comments on my pins. The scheduling feature on the Pinterest app is completely inaccessible with Voiceover. Today, I discovered that I could finally read most of the items in the following tab. If a pin doesn’t have a text title, I can’t read it. In order for me to read an image, I have to zoom in and make it bigger and even then in a lot of cases I have difficulty. I’m happy that Pinterest is becoming more accessible over time, but I worry that coding will be updated and those features will be broken again. Is the frustration worth it? Right now, I’m thinking yes because it has brought more traffic to my blog, but time will tell.

Trial and Error

Speaking of frustrations, there are the graphics. That’s another interesting part of this blogging journey for me. I have done lots of trial and error to figure out a way to create pins. I know Pinterest is about eye catching images that draw the reader in. You have to think about the colors, the layout, the font etc. This is not easy for me since I have trouble telling most colors apart and see better with a sharp contrast. I don’t know much about fonts, so I stick to the basics.

The first thing I do is search the stock photo sites for relevant photos. If I find a large enough vertical image that either has copy space or a workable place for text, I export that photo to the Phonto app. It’s a simple image editor. I’ll mention that it’s really not that accessible, but it was simple enough to figure out. My only complaint is that I wish the text color options were labeled. After messing with the text, background colors, fonts and sizes, the image is ready for pinning. Let’s go back to square one for a minute. If I don’t find a large enough vertical image that is related to my blog post, I use an app called MA Long Image. This way, I can make a photo collage with two or more images. After I have my photo collage, I upload that to Phonto and repeat the process. Most people use Canva to create their pins, but I tried Canva and it doesn’t work for me. Most of its features are not labeled or accessible. I’m just glad to have found something that works even though it may be limited.

I’m not writing this post to complain, but I want to raise awareness of accessibility issues. I’m also the kind of person who pushes the boundaries of what can be done. People might ask why I care about Pinterest since it is so visual. As I previously mentioned, Pinterest is a great source of blog traffic, but it’s also a search engine. Many of my coworkers use Pinterest for lesson planning. The activities you can find for kids is endless. Why shouldn’t I have access to that information? While Pinterest is meant to be a very visual platform, most of the links lead to blog posts with text, so there is no reason why that shouldn’t be accessible. Pinterest is more than pretty images. It’s a great marketing tool, not only for promoting blogs, but for selling goods and services as well. I also want my readers to understand how I create my content and the work that goes into it.

Pinterest Tips

I’ll leave you with a few quick Pinterest tips I’ve learned so far.

1. Create at least two or three pinnable graphics for each blog post. This way you can pin the same post to a board more than once, but be sure not to schedule those pins too close together.

2. Speaking of scheduling, find a way to keep track of your pinning schedule. Many people use Tailwind, but that is even less accessible than Pinterest, so I don’t use it. Some people use an Excel spread sheet or word document. This way they can follow which pins were posted to which boards. This will avoid multiple pinning too close together. You don’t want to look spammy.

3. If you can, try to get premium stock images for pins if you can’t take your own. This can effect how well your pin does on Pinterest. If many people are using the same free images, Pinterest picks up on that. If those same free images are used for different pins in totally different categories, it can cause those pins not to perform as well. I happened to see this tip last week.

4. Use Pinterest SEO. Search for keywords before creating your pin description and hashtags. Find out what’s popular related to the topic you are posting about.

5. Don’t be afraid to try different things to see what your audience responds to. Whether it be a different pin layout, color scheme, different types of headlines etc. It may take a while for a pin to get traction, so don’t be discouraged if your pin isn’t a hit in the beginning.
6. Don’t forget to spread the love and pin plenty of other content from other bloggers. It will help you connect and reach a larger audience.
Do you want to learn more about how Pinterest works? Check out this list of 9 Pinterest myths.

As always, thank you for reading. Do you have any great Pinterest tips? Feel free to share them in the comments.

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About me, Blogging

My Favorite Things for March

March 31, 2019

I want to share some of my favorite things and accomplishments for the month of March. This is something new I plan on doing at the end of every month from now on. Writing down my accomplishments will keep me accountable and moving forward and why not share some of my favorite things? You might like them as well. For this month, I have a book, a recipe, a perfume and some articles to pass along.

Accomplishments

I’ll start with my wins for the month of March. At the end of February, I started using my Pinterest account which had no views. As of this moment, there are 39,000 views. I know that’s a relatively small number for Pinterest, but it’s just the beginning. I think it’s good considering the endless accessibility issues I have with Pinterest, my limited ability to create eye catching photos and my lack of knowledge on how Pinterest works. I have been reading and researching which has given me a better understanding of strategies for using Pinterest. It’s a work in progress, but what isn’t? My second win and one of my goals for 2019 was to reactivate my Amazon associates account. I’ve been working hard to update older posts as well as create new content. Now the trick is making those sales. My third accomplishment was getting approved for ShareASale. That will be my next project.

Book

As I’ve talked about on the blog before, I always have an Audible book that I’m listening to. Earlier this month, I read the Ex-Wife by Jess Ryder. It was one of those books that sounded kind of interesting, but I wasn’t too sure about it. I found it in a two books for one credit deal. After the first couple of chapters, I really wanted to know what happened next. I listened to most of it in one weekend. I won’t give anything away, but the ending seemed to be an opening for a second book, but who knows. I’ve read a lot of books lately where loose ends aren’t tied up.

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks

Recipe

Unfortunately, I did not take a picture when I cooked this, but I’m not a food photographer anyway. This Easy Instant Pot Macaroni and Cheese is so simple to make. It tastes good. Rosebud loved it and that is saying something. She’s going through an extremely picky eating phase. The best part is it takes about ten minutes. The other great thing is you make it in the instant pot. I love having only one pot instead of a bunch of pots and pans to wash. The macaroni comes out perfect and it is very cheesy. If you try it, let me know what you think.

Perfume

I ordered some makeup and got a sample of Viva LA Juicy Noir by Juicy Couture. I quickly used it all and then had to order more. It’s hard to describe the scent. It’s kind of fruity, but it’s not over the top sweet. It’s not too strong unless you use more than you should. I normally stick with one or two scents that I use most of the time, but this one has become one of my favorites. What are your perfumes that you absolutely love?

Articles

Okay, so I have several for this month. I couldn’t narrow it down to just one, but they all serve different purposes.

This first article is about raising daughters and gender stereotypes. It’s well written and reminds us what is important about raising a girl. Click here to read, The Trappings of Girlhood.

I saw this cool article from Whimsyroo with a list of bath time activities. I know Rosebud gets bored with the same bath toys and this post has some great ideas to make bath time more fun. I love this blog and all the fun activities she posts. Click this link for Creative Bath Time Activities for Kids.

I am a big fan of journaling and one of the benefits of journaling is gratitude. If you journal about the things you are grateful for, it can boost your mood and if you are a believer in the law of attraction, gratitude will bring you more things to be grateful for. That being said, listing the same five things you are grateful for can be a little boring and not seem worth the effort, but Monica from Mindfully Monica explains how to start a gratitude journal that actually works.

Full disclosure, I saw this one a little before March started, but I have to share it. I’m featured on this post from GROWMOMMY.COM! Rosebud’s antics earned me a spot in this list of 10 Hilarious Reasons for Toddler Tantrums.

This post from Be Anxious About Nothing brings to light the very important and overlooked issues of disabled domestic abuse. The post was written in defense of Dr. Phil and his recent show with a couple where the man is disabled and the woman is not. I knew nothing about it until seeing this post, but there has been outrage online due to the show’s supposed ablism. I say supposed because I have not seen it and don’t want to comment without viewing it first. However, I will share this post because disabled people are more likely to be the victims of abuse and that has to stop.

This final link is to a Ted talk about being a good listener. Too often we forget to really take the time to listen to someone. Sometimes all someone needs is to be heard.

How to Listen Better – Tips From a Deaf Guy, from Stephen O’Keefe.

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Awareness, Parenting, Self acceptance,

The Same, But Different

March 12, 2019

There are a lot of misconceptions out there and sometimes I get questions about how I do things as a visually impaired parent. I don’t think my life is out of the ordinary, but sometimes I might have to take an extra step or think outside the box to get things done. When the idea to do this post popped into my head, I thought of a couple things immediately, but for others, I really had to think about. Here are five things I do differently as a visually impaired mom.

Reading

This is a big one because it not only involves reading stories to Rosebud, but I have to find alternative ways to read just about everything. Luckily, there have been so many amazing advances in technology since I was a kid and it has opened up the world to me, but generally, I just can’t pick up something and read it. There are several ways I read books to Rosebud. I have the regular books with Braille labels on them. The great thing about these books is that I can read them, but so can anyone else. They have the print as well as the pictures. I’ve found that this is the best way for me to read to her. That being said, the selection of books is somewhat limited and can get expensive. A great selection can be found here at BRL.

I find a lot of great books being read aloud on Youtube. I know it’s not the same as having the paper book, but it’s another way Rosebud can have access to books. There are a few books that we have the print copies of that she can follow along with them being read aloud. Here are a few of her favorites.

If You Give a Mouse a Brownie

The Very Busy Spider

Sneezy the Snowman

Big Pumpkin

Recently, I was told of a program in my area called Books on Wheels. Volunteers from the local library have started bringing children’s books to me twice per month. Although I can’t read these books to Rosebud, we can look at them and other family members can read them to her. I don’t want her to get bored with the books we have and this is another great way for her to get access to a huge variety of books. As she gets older, I plan on introducing her to audio books as well. She loves books and I want her to keep enjoying books throughout her life.

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks

Safety Rules

Since I can’t always see exactly what Rosebud is doing, I take safety very seriously. This is especially the case if we are in public, outside in a play area or walking down the street. If we are walking down the street or walking through a public place, she has to hold my hand with very few exceptions. As she gets older, I’ll give her a little more space, but for now, she has to hold my hand. That way I always know where she is. Sometimes she fights me on this, but it’s for her safety and my peace of mind. If we are out at the playground, she cannot run out of the play space. If she does, I give her one warning and if she doesn’t listen, we immediately go back home. I’ve had to do this a couple of times. It may sound mean, but I don’t want to have to chase her down in places I’m unfamiliar with and what if something happened before I got to her? I’d rather be safe than sorry. As she gets older, she will understand why I have that rule in place, but for now, she probably just thinks I’m a mean mom for five minutes. As she understands more and is able to explain where she wants to go, I’ll probably relax somewhat, but I think I’ll always worry a little extra.

Nursing

You’re probably wondering, what’s so different about that? Well, nothing really. I’ve heard a lot of people say that breast-feeding is such a visual thing and it probably is, but it didn’t work that way for me. Some of the hospital staff were concerned about my ability to breast-feed and at first, I had trouble getting her to latch. Partly because we were both new at it and because I was convinced that it was a visual thing so I wouldn’t be able to do it by feel. Of course, the visual aspect wasn’t working for me, so naturally I had to feel to help her latch. When I let go of the idea that I was doing it wrong, it worked much better. We found a way to make it work for us. As I thought about it more, I wondered how do moms get babies latched by sight in the middle of the night anyway? Do they turn a light on? I doubted it. Who wants to do that when you can role over and get back to sleep.

Measuring

One question I’ve heard before and even wondered myself before I became a parent was, how would I give my child medicine? I have different techniques for measuring medicine. Whether it is for a syringe or cup, I have either the pharmacist or someone else mark the dosage with a black line. I have to keep an eye on this as the line fades after several washings. One way I’ve found that keeps the mark there is to put clear tape over the black line. The little medicine cups work the same way. For those who can’t see at all, they use a tactile marker. I’ve heard of people using puff paints or making an indentation with a knife. Also, here is the thermometer I use.

Since Rosebud was having such trouble with getting enough milk before leaving the hospital, I had to start supplementing with formula. This was not a road I wanted to go down because I did not want to have to worry about measuring the exact amounts of liquid and powder. I didn’t want to be downstairs in the middle of the night making bottles, but for the first couple months of Rosebud’s life, that’s where I was. When I left the hospital, they sent me home with the pre-made 2oz containers of ready made formula. Those were expensive to buy so I bought a larger container of the powder. I’d measure out the water using a 2oz container and then add the scoops of powder. I was lucky I didn’t have to stick with measuring out formula, but I had figured it out and it was definitely an option when I needed it.

Identifying Colors

I have difficulty seeing color so sometimes I use an app called Seeing AI to identify colors. I use it a lot when I’m trying to match Rosebud’s socks. I try to get socks that are all white or that have distinctive patterns that I can easily match. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way so the color identifier comes to my rescue. For the rest of her clothes, I usually memorize or can see the colors, but occasionally if it’s a new outfit, I’ll use the app to tell me the colors. I worried about how I would teach her colors, but she already knows most of them. I’d point out colors of the items I knew, some of the tv shows she watches teach colors and other people would point out colors as well, so I really didn’t need to worry.

I also use apps on my phone to identify items. This was especially helpful with reading baby food jars since the labels are relatively small. I wished I would’ve had these apps when working in the infant room. I’ve also tried to use the app when reading books to Rosebud, but it’s too hard to try to read and repeat anything other than simple board books. Anyway, the app also comes in handy for reading mail, the directions on food packaging and for reading the error notices on my tv or computer screen.

As a parent with a visual impairment, I do the same parenting tasks that other parents do, but sometimes I have to do them in a different way. I think that some people equate doing something differently with inability, but that’s not the case. If we all did everything the same, no one would ever come up with anything new and then how boring would the world be? Where would our world be without any outside the box thinking? Maybe my parenting journey looks a little different than yours, but my end goal is the same. We all want to raise healthy, happy well adjusted children.

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Awareness, Safety, Self acceptance,

When Helping is not Helpful

January 22, 2019

I have a master list of post topics. Usually, I don’t need to fall back on it because I get the best inspiration in the moment. Something will pop into my head and a couple days later, it’s out here on the blog. However, this is different. This situation happened years ago, but I was reminded of it recently because of some posts I’ve been seeing. People are making assumptions and are forcing help when it is not needed or wanted which is why I’m writing about it now.

If this is the first time you’ve come across my blog, you might not know that I have a visual impairment. I mostly focus on parenting, teaching and personal development, but occasionally, I write about some of life’s challenges like the most recent time I was discriminated against and my negative experience in the hospital when Rosebud was born. My visual impairment has shaped my life in a lot of ways and while I don’t focus on it, other people do and that’s where these experiences come from. Unfortunately, many of them are negative, but I write about them so that people will understand where I’m coming from and not just assume that I’m an angry and ungrateful person.

The crossing

Back in 2001, I worked in a childcare center in a smaller city. On most days, I’d walk to and from the childcare center without incident, but one afternoon, I was walking and minding my own business. Everything was going fine until I reached a busy intersection. This rout crossed several streets, but this particular intersection was the busiest. For those who don’t know, most blind and visually impaired people rely on the sound of traffic to signal when it is a safe time to cross. Many intersections have audible signals now, but they don’t always work and in many cases, they didn’t exist until recent years. I am able to watch the traffic to a certain extent, but I rely a lot on the sound as well. I can’t see when the lights change color. Especially in the day time so, when I’m waiting to cross, I really need to stay focused on the traffic cycles.

I was watching and listening. When the light changed. The parallel traffic started moving and that was my signal to cross. Suddenly, a guy jumped out of nowhere and started yelling at me and grabbed my arm. He was telling me he better help me because I was going to get hit by a car. I told him to let me go and that I was fine, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. I didn’t like the way he was grabbing my arm and I didn’t like his insistence. Meanwhile, the traffic was moving along and I was totally distracted. At this point, I thought it was still safe to go, but I was so distracted by this guy and my instinct to run that I wasn’t sure. My only thought in the moment was to get away from this guy so I started running across the street. There was a car that had started going across as well and luckily it had stopped in time to let me run across. I felt bad for the driver and he or she probably thought I was an idiot, but I didn’t know what else to do.

I didn’t want to run in another direction because then I probably would’ve gotten lost. I didn’t know the area that well, but I did know it wasn’t a nice neighborhood. Of course that was on my mind when this guy grabbed me. When I finally made it across without being hit, I ran for the next block or two until I knew for sure no one was following me.

What you should do

When I refused the guy’s help, he seemed to get irritated that I didn’t want him helping me, but the fact was he made me feel unsafe. First, because he’s a strange man grabbing me on the street and second because he distracted me during a crossing. For people who are primarily relying on sound, this can be extremely dangerous. While the man may have thought he was being helpful, it was the complete opposite. If you see someone and you get the urge to help, please ask them if they need help first. If they say no, respect that and understand it has nothing to do with you. Maybe they really don’t need help or maybe they aren’t comfortable accepting help. Also, don’t touch someone before you’ve even spoken to them. It’s really for your own safety plus it’s common courtesy. Do you want to be grabbed by a random stranger? If you do have to touch them to get their attention, tap them on the shoulder.

I’ve always had an independent streak and never wanted to ask for help. When I was a kid, people always told me to ask for help, but I saw that as a weakness. I couldn’t ask for help because people would see me as less intelligent and inferior. Even though the message was always, you can ask for and receive help, the message I got was that I have to ask for help because I couldn’t do things on my own. I know part of that was my own thought process, but I felt like if I asked for help, I would be looked down upon even more, but if fully sighted people needed help with something, they wouldn’t necessarily be treated differently. It was just a part of life.

I have learned that everyone needs help at some point. It is a strength to know when you need help and to ask for it. It can take a lot of courage depending on the situation. There have been so many instances in my life when people have offered help. I really appreciated it when it was offered in a kind and respectful way. Other times, I have refused and resented it because I felt it was not necessary, but that time, I actually felt like I was in danger.

Should we be grateful?

Several years ago, I happened to see a post online where someone complained that a disabled man in a wheelchair refused help. I can’t remember the specifics, but one comment stuck with me. “Handicap people should be grateful for any help they can get.” Really? Do people have to accept help when doing so causes them to lose their dignity or puts them in danger? Should disabled people really be grateful for that? I’m sure this commenter would’ve had a problem with me refusing this guy’s help. In his eyes, that person was a kind soul who offered his help and should’ve graciously accepted it even if he took me the wrong way or assaulted me. In my case, the stranger on the street got the hint after I ran away from him, but that’s not always the case.

Another comment I remember from the thread was saying how angry that man in the wheelchair was. Well, maybe he had a good reason to be angry. Maybe he was having a bad day and got tired of people assuming he needed help. The fact is we don’t know. The total strangers on the thread didn’t know and neither did the person trying to help him. We never will truly know what’s in someone else’s head, but what we do know is that he is a human being with a range of emotions. He had every rite to be angry, annoyed or frustrated.

Not everyone accomplishes tasks in the exact same way. That’s the beauty of living in a world where there is a lot of diversity. Underneath, we are all still people who think and feel. This is so basic that I don’t know why it’s so hard for some people to understand, but I hope that one day they will. It all goes back to what they taught in elementary school. How would you want to be treated? If more people asked themselves that before interacting with other, the world would be a much nicer place to live.

8 Comments

Awareness, Childcare, Education, Preschool, Toddlers, Work

Do’s and Don’ts of Working with Children Who May be Different from You

December 4, 2018

I've been thinking about this post for a while. This topic is close to my heart as I can not only relate to it from my own childhood, but it comes up on some level in my work every day. I know that working with children is stressful. Add to that, behaviors, issues or cultural differences that you may be uncomfortable or unfamiliar with, it can bring the stress to a whole new level. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. We are all human after all and that is the most important thing to keep in mind. For this post, I'll focus on children with disabilities and children who are learning English as a second language, but a lot of this can even be applied with other groups of children or even adults. I'm writing this from the education perspective, but these suggestions can be applied in many situations. Being around people who are different from us not only teaches us about others, but we also learn plenty about ourselves in the process. If you are working with a diverse group of children, here are some do's and don'ts that will make the experience better for all involved.

Respect a person’s body and space

This should be obvious, but so many situations come up where a child is just picked up and moved without a word. I can understand if it is a safety issue or an extreme emergency. There are times when we can’t always stop and explain fully. No one is perfect and these things happen, but I’m talking about the situations where it is possible to ask the child’s permission or to explain what you are doing. For example, if I am picking up a child to change her diaper, I’ll tell her that. If I need to move a child who is having a tantrum and is endangering the other children, I will say something like, I’m going to move you to a place where you can be safe until you calm down.”

I witnessed a situation where two toddlers were arguing over being in the same space playing with a dollhouse. The area was getting very crowded and I was starting to talk to the children about it. All of the sudden, the person I was working with grabs the dollhouse and brings it to a bigger table without a word. This put one child in complete melt down mode. He had no idea why the toy was taken away and what just happened. He proceeded to push a bucket of toys off the table. Meanwhile, I’m trying to gather the toys and am explaining to him that if we move to the table, he can play with the toy. In his mind, that toy was just taken away for no reason. After a couple minutes, he calmed down and I was able to help him understand the situation. That totally could’ve been avoided with just a few simple words. I try to think of it this way. Would I like to be suddenly picked up and plopped down somewhere else without a word? Would I like it if someone grabbed something I was using and brought it to another part of the room? Of course not. It’s something we really need to stay mindful of.

Assume capability

Do think children are capable until proven otherwise. Don’t assume that if a child can’t hear that they won’t understand anything. Use a gesture or two and it might make all the difference. Don’t assume that an autistic child never feels empathy. I worked with an autistic boy who would be the first to show concern if one of his classmates was sad. Don’t assume that a child can never learn. We all have different learning styles. Some of us learn best visually where others learn best through listening. Picture schedules labeling items and having a wide variety of activities that teach the same skill are all great ways to accommodate for different learning styles.

I worked with a co-teacher who told me that this particular child never used words so I started with the basics. I’d wait for quiet moments to practice words with him. We’d look at books when he woke up from his nap. I remember him saying, baby when I’d point out pictures of babies in books. During diaper changes, I’d mention how his wipes were cold and he’d repeat the word cold. We weren’t having conversations yet, but it was a start. There were in fact words there, but my co-teacher was so focused on his inability to speak, that she never took the time to see what he was capable of.

Make a connection

Do find enjoyment and common interests. Continuing the story about the child I previously mentioned, my co-teacher said that he never enjoyed a single activity. I made it my personal mission to prove her wrong every day. I started writing observations about him each day as we were trying to get services for him. Some of the areas I focused on, included social interactions, speech, the day’s challenges and the things he enjoyed. Each day I would list at least one activity that he did that he enjoyed. It could be something as simple as sitting and relaxing in the rocking chair or the more typical childhood activities like play-dough or reading a book. It made me happy to find the things he loved which allowed me to build a connection with him.

Remember Confidentiality

Do treat their sensitive information with care. I’ve heard teachers on the playground say things like, he can’t hear a word you’re saying.” First, if a child has a hearing impairment, no one needs to yell it across the playground. If someone needs to know, tell them in a more discrete way. You never know who is listening or if the information is even completely accurate. In this particular case, one of the older children that was hearing these exchanges started bullying the younger child, telling him he couldn’t come in the play house because he’s deaf. In reality, this child is not deaf. He was having issues with his hearing which seem to have been corrected, but even if he was deaf, he deserves to be treated with respect. Talking to him and trying to understand him would still not be a waste of time.

Be open minded

Do observe and ask questions. Do not make harmful assumptions. I worked with a girl who was learning English as a second language. A coworker would get so frustrated when she wouldn’t respond to her or appeared not to understand what she was saying. She’d often complain and ask, “why aren’t they teaching English at home?” Well, they aren’t speaking English at home because she knows more English than her parents. Also, they may want to keep their culture and traditions which of course includes their native language. What’s wrong with a child knowing two or more languages? Why should her parents have to parent in a language that is not their own? Just to accommodate a childcare provider, I don’t think so. Her parents were trying to teach her English using games and apps which appeared to be working. when she started with our program, she could even read some words in English. It quickly became obvious that she is very smart. I wasn’t put off because I’ve worked with English language learners before. Some things that helped me were using visuals to go along with the words, learning a few key phrases in the child’s home language and having parents share things from their family’s culture.

Hold off on the labels

Do look at the person in front of you. Everything does not need a label. I understand labels are useful. Especially in a world where you need a diagnosis for services like occupational or speech therapy, but there is no need to start labeling someone on the first day. Get to know them a bit before raising the red flags. Be open to the fact that an issue might have more than one explanation. I recently observed a boy walk back and forth over and over again through a pile of leaves. Some suspect that this boy may be autistic, but it may be something totally different. He might just like the sound of the leaves or wanted a more soothing activity. Obviously you wouldn’t diagnose on this one observation, but you’d need to look at the whole picture. Another explanation is that one disability could look similar to another in how it manifests itself. For example, the child who has regained his hearing may be repeatedly walking through the leaves because he’s never heard that sound clearly before. If he’s hearing a sound for the first time, the experience would be suddenly different. It takes time to process these things. If he is having difficulty interacting with his peers, maybe he’s trying to process language that he’s never heard clearly before.

This is why taking the time to get to know the person behind whatever the difference may be is so important. They are not little boxes to check off. They are people. People who think, feel, love and dream. If you are looking for some great ideas on how to easily teach children about diversity check out this post written by Mommy Gone Tropical. Is there anything I missed? Let me know in the comments.

13 Comments

Awareness, Blogging

Why I don’t use Pinterest

September 14, 2018

One question I’ve gotten is, why don’t you use Pinterest? My coworkers rave about it. They spend hours finding cool ideas for their classrooms. I’d like to be able to do that too. I’d love to be able to use Pinterest to find an easy dinner recipe or to see some cool and thrifty decorating ideas. I’ll admit it. I wouldn’t mind seeing a cat picture or two. Not to mention the articles and tips that people share.

More importantly, I’d like to be apart of the huge blogging community on there to bring traffic to my blog. Many bloggers get so much engagement from Pinterest and it often gets suggested as a great source for getting traffic to your blog. The problem is the app and the website are inaccessible to me. First of all, the whole point of Pinterest is visual which I can appreciate, but often the pins include text which normally I’d be able to read. I use a screen reader called Voiceover which comes built into Apple products which basically reads everything on the screen out loud. I won’t get technical, but that’s it in a nut shell. Anyway, when I’m trying to browse Pinterest using Safari, all it reads are the tags on the pins. If I’m using the iPhone app, it will read the titles of the pins which I was excited about, but then when I clicked on them, I could not read the text even though it would load. This was extremely disappointing and frustrating.

If Pinterest would fix their code to be compatible with Voiceover, I could read the text and it would make a world of difference. I could read and share pins as well as interact with other Pinterest users. One idea I had was to link to a few cool pins right here in this post, but that won’t happen until I can read them.

The other accessibility issue I have with Pinterest is creating the pins themselves. I know you have to fix your images to work as a pin and I’m not sure how to do that. Trying to edit photos is obviously not my strong suit. It’s hard enough for me to find images let alone editing them.

You might be thinking, why doesn’t she just use other social media channels and why aren’t they enough? Well, I do use Twitter and Facebook and while those are helpful for growing my blog, it seems that both Pinterest and Instagram are where bloggers are at these days. I’m finding this especially in the parenting niche. I’m left wondering how much I’m missing out. How much would my blog grow if I could use it? I’ve had similar challenges with Instagram since it is also so visually based.

I don’t like to complain about these things or draw attention to myself. I’m also a believer in working with the resources I have. I’m grateful for technology and the things that are accessible now, that never were in the past. When it comes to these issues, my gut instinct is not to speak up. Not to ruffle any feathers. The nagging voice in my head tells me to be grateful for what I can use or to wait and maybe somehow it will work better in the future. On the other hand, I think I should be able to participate and use a website as big as Pinterest to find ideas for my classrooms, to grow my blog and eventually to promote my business. Now it’s your turn. What social media platforms have you had the best luck with? Let me know in the comments.

4 Comments

Awareness, Parenting, Personal Development, Self acceptance,

Coloring Outside the Lines

July 30, 2018

It was a rainy afternoon here, so Rosebud and I were stuck inside. She had just finished her snack and it was time for play time. I usually turn on music for background noise when we play in the living room. Rosebud likes to build with blocks, care for her babies and pretend she's Dr. Rosebud and gives me a checkup on a daily basis. Today when I turned on the music she said, "let's dance, Mommy." Normally this means just holding her hands and we spin around like we're doing Ring Around the Rosie, but today she wanted to actually dance. She kept saying, "you dance, Mommy." Then she was off doing dance moves that she made up on the spot. For a minute I froze and wondered what exactly to do. I'm a horrible dancer. I'm so self conscious even if it's just her and I. I told her that I wasn't a good dancer, but I'd try anyway and I started copying what she was doing. At least copying as much as I could see. Rosebud didn't mind my awkwardness. She was just glad to spend time together. After a few minutes, I was enjoying being active and I was grateful that she was so happy in that moment.


As the afternoon went on, I thought about my abilities as a parent and how some of the things I'm not good at really shake my confidence. There's the dancing which hopefully the neighbors weren't watching. I worried about it unnecessarily. Am I good enough? Am I doing this right? Then I have to remind myself that it's not about being good enough. It's about spending the time together and having fun. I'm horrible at drawing and Rosebud loves to draw. She is always asking me to draw with her. My shapes are crooked, the lines are rarely ever straight and forget coloring inside the lines, especially if the picture is complicated. It doesn't stop me from trying, but it always nags at me that's not good. I'm not showing her the right way and as she gets older, will this bother her? Probably not as much as it bothers me. I try because I want to be involved in what she's doing. Isn't that what's important?
There will be challenges in the future for us that most people take for granted with their children. It'll be difficult to teach her to read and write because she'll be reading and writing in a different way than I do. I hesitate to take her to places where there is a large group of kids because it's harder for me to find someone in a crowd. I'm not the best at socializing, so I worry about getting her the right amounts of social interaction. Sometimes when she's looking at something and asks what it is, I totally miss it. I miss the learning opportunity she could have had or just simply sharing the interaction of two people looking at the same thing in their environment. The challenges can seem endless at times, but what about all the things I can teach her and the gifts I can give? I let her enjoy the things I can't fully participate in or find ways to make activities work for both of us. We read a lot of touch and feel books, do lots of 3d art collages and play with play-dough.

I can teach her how to be a problem solver. When one thing is inaccessible to me, I might have to try something more than one way before I figure out what works. This is especially true with technology. I can teach her to step out of her comfort zone and try something new. I can teach the value of spending time together making memories. I can teach her how to listen. This skill is highly underrated. I can teach her about kindness and compassion towards both people and animals.
There are people out there who don't even know me who might question my abilities as a parent. I might be a terrible dancer, a little socially awkward and color outside the lines, but I can fix boo-boos, bake cookies that make our house smell like a home and make time for snuggles and story time each night. I can make a perfect batch of play-dough and find the best bargains on toys. Most of all, Rosebud is sheltered, clean, safe and loved. When I see her happiness, the embarrassing and sometimes meaningless things that shake my confidence disappear. In those moments, I can see the big picture. The picture with color spilling over the lines that didn't need to be there in the first place. I'm teaching her to start with a blank piece of paper and make her own creation. She doesn't have to fit into anyone else's lines or boxes to be worthy and neither do I.

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      Awareness, Self acceptance,
            
        When I Become Invisible
        
          July 7, 2018                  

      
      
      

        
        
Yesterday, I saw a post on a Facebook group that made me think about the times when I become invisible. This would be an amazing super power to have. Imagine the things you would see or hear. Unfortunately, I’m not talking about a hypothetical situation based in tales of fiction. I’m talking about an all too common occurrence.

There are times when I’m out in public when people speak right past me as if I’m not even there. They prefer to speak to whoever I’m with. They probably figure it would be too awkward or they are just assuming that I couldn’t possibly answer a question. These questions aren’t about advanced mathematical concepts or interpreting the latest scientific research. No. They are questions like, what does she want to eat? Does she like this or that? What’s her address, phone number etc? What’s wrong with her? Why does she wear glasses? I could go on, but I’m sure you get the point. Everything they are asking, I would of course know the answers to, so is it really necessary to ask a third person?

Many years ago, I went to Cancun for a vacation. While I was there, I had my hair braided. A girl I was with had it done and I thought it looked cool. Anyway, when I came back I got lots of comments and compliments on it. It’s definitely not something you see around here every day. A friend and I stopped at a convenient store and while we were checking out, the cashier asked my friend where I had gotten my hair braided. My friend obviously knew the answer, but she did something I didn’t expect. She said, “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask her.” The woman got quiet for a few seconds and then turned to ask me where I had my hair done. She seemed a little embarrassed and she should’ve been. I’ve never forgotten how my friend responded in that situation. She spoke up for me, but she didn’t speak for me. She let this person know that it’s not okay to speak past me and that I’m perfectly capable of answering questions that are directly about or involving me. I wish more people thought and acted like her.

Another time, my mom and I were eating lunch at a restaurant. The waitress stopped by and put the drinks on the table. She starts talking to my mom and mentions how she should open the straw for me. I was so shocked and pissed off that that’s all I remember from their conversation, but I snapped at the woman telling her that I can open my own straw. Here is what I don’t understand. How can someone who walks into the restaurant, picks up a menu, orders food and appears to have a normal range of movement not be capable of opening the flimsy wrapper on a damn straw? Do you need 20-20 vision to do that? I’m curious… I’m also curious how this waitress thought I was going to eat.
The waitress didn’t respond to me and quickly left the table. My mom told me how I shouldn’t have snapped at the waitress because she didn’t know. She’s an older woman and she probably doesn’t know any better. She was just trying to be helpful. She told me I should stop getting so irritated with people and just let it go. This is exactly how these situations usually play out. We are just expected to take the treatment given and be gracious even if the treatment is shitty. Oh, they were just trying to help. Oh, they don’t know how to talk to you. Oh, they are scared. Well, they weren’t talking to me. They were talking past me and assuming I can’t do the simplest of tasks. I won’t accept that kind of treatment. Would you? Would you accept that for yourself? Would you accept that for your partner, your friends, or your children?

      


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