Personal Development

Brick By Brick

March 2, 2019

At the beginning of this year, I made a list of books I plan to read in 2019. Take Control of Your Life by Mel Robbins was one of them. It’s still early in the year, but I’m glad I’ve finished it already. There were a lot of helpful tips for managing fear, changing your mindset and paying attention to what’s really going on in our bodies.

When we respond to fear, it’s our bodies that get triggered first. Your stomach may tighten, your face may get hot, some people break out in hives etc. The response is different for everyone, but it’s that discomfort that makes us not want to face our fears and return to normal as soon as possible. This is great in a situation where your safety is at risk and your gut is telling you to get away, but it’s not so helpful when you need to make changes in your life. Even positive change is scary because it takes us out of our comfort zone. There were several coaching sessions in the book, but I will focus on the first coaching session because it resonated with me as it’s where I am in life right now. I will summarize the five takeaways from the session and explain how they work.

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Figuring out your Pattern

The workbook opens up with some questions. What is your biggest fear and what is your response to it? One of my biggest fears is being stuck in the same place in life and never figuring out my purpose. I can’t imagine being stuck at my dead end job for another five or ten years. I don’t even want to imagine it for another six months. I have no passion left for it. It sucks the energy right out of me. Part of my fear is that I’ll never find something that I love doing. I’d settle for tolerable at this point. This is why the first coaching session in the book, Take Control of Your Life, really resonated with me. The coaching session was with Dan, a man whose biggest fear is never figuring out what he wants to do in life. He’s currently a teacher, but wants to retire from that and wonders what else is out there for him, but what stops him from exploring other options is his pattern of thinking and rethinking. I am also an over thinker.

When I was exploring the possibility of becoming a transcriptionist, I was thinking of everything and it became overwhelming. I had so many questions floating around and instead of working on one thing at a time, I’d either jump all over the place or never get anything done. I’d worry about which software I was going to use. How I’d track the money I was making, how much money I’d make, what I’d need for my business, how to do an invoice, what would I do for a style guide? I needed to write a business plan and didn’t know which part to work on first. Basically, I had jumped way ahead of myself. Most of this was before even trying to work for a transcription company and in the end, I figured out that I didn’t want to make it my life’s work. I hated the different style guides, the low pay, the inaccessibility of so many things and how it would take me a long time to get back up to a good speed. I’d need to be transcribing constantly to get fast again and the fact was I didn’t have the time or energy to devote to it. It’s been a similar process with my interest in coaching and the possibility of running a childcare business from my home. I’m still interested in these things, but I often try to think about the big picture and analyze every detail. For example, I was listening to a podcast about how to set up a life coaching website, but I haven’t even taken the certification course yet.

In the book, Mel Robbins talks about wanting to own a small town coffee shop for years. Eventually, she got a job working in a small coffee shop on weekends, but she quickly learned that she hated working there. What she loved about the coffee shop was the sense of community and her ability to afford a daily coffee if she wanted. She also enjoyed taking the time to sit down with a cup of coffee and chat with those around her. What I loved about transcription was the flexible schedule, the ability to work from home and the idea that I’d be making content accessible to people. I was more excited about my work environment and the prospect of helping people than actually transcribing documents. These are all things I can find in other jobs that would be a better fit. Sometimes, we end up hating the thing that we think is our passion, but every time we explore a new possibility, we learn something new about ourselves.

Slow Down

If we keep ourselves too busy, we don’t have to think about what scares us. If I’m busy, I don’t have to apply for jobs. I don’t have to think about what I want to do next. I don’t have to financially plan for how I’m going to get there. If I’m busy, I keep things the same. They are comfortable because they are familiar, but they are uncomfortable at the same time because I feel the tension in my body. If we slow down, we can figure out what we really want to do. You can slow down by taking a walk in nature, meditating, spending time with those who support you, write in your journal, take a hot bath etc. Whatever reenergizes you.

State It To Create It

In the coaching session, Dan says, “don’t laugh” before he states his dream out loud. His passion is wine and he’s interested in taking a class or opening a wine bar. I didn’t think it was laughable. It’s his dream. Mel discussed how we under state our dreams or never state them out loud at all for the fear of being judged. What if we never achieve our dreams, what then? We’ve already stated what we want and now others might hold us accountable. We also fear that people may think our dreams are stupid or crazy.

What if you don’t know what your dream is? Follow what you enjoy. What are you interested in? What have you always wanted to do? Well, I’m in that boat. I don’t know exactly what my dream is. I’m interested in coaching, so my first step would be to figure out one thing I can do to explore it. Maybe it’s taking a class. Maybe it’s talking to a coach. Maybe it’s watching youtube videos. Once you start, it leads to something else.

Brick By Brick

Don’t think too big. Break your goals down into achievable steps that you can work on each day. When you have a box of legos, you construct your building brick by brick. That is how to pursue your dreams. If your dream is starting a blog, sit down with a blank document and write. Then when you have a few entries written, then worry about the next steps of setting up the website, promoting on social media etc. My interest is coaching, so I signed up for a couple of free webinars. It’s not a huge step, but it’s exploration and it’s one action I can take so I’m not just spinning my wheels.

Passion is not a Person, Place or Thing.

I needed to hear this. It’s not the job, a big house or the new relationship that brings passion into your life. It’s what you have within. You grow in to your passion by following your Curiosity. If you are wondering about your passion, try answering these questions. What are you curious about? What would you do for free? Whose life are you envious of and why? Follow the energy inside of you. That’s where passion lives.

Summary

To summarize, there were five takeaways from the first coaching session in Take Control of Your Life.

1. What is your biggest fear and what is your response? The first piece is to figure out your patterns.

2. Some of us use being busy to cover up our fears. Slow down. Take the time to listen to your inner voice in order to figure out your next steps.

3. State your dreams out loud in order to create them.

4. Achieve your goals brick by brick. Instead of thinking big, think small. Break actions down into small achievable tasks. If the task seems to overwhelming, break it down further.

5. Remember that passion is inside of you. Follow the things you are curious about. Follow the things that energize you and that will lead you in the right direction.

If you have the opportunity, I encourage you to listen to Take Control of Your Life and download the companion workbook. The questions are thought provoking, the tips are super useful and Mel and her coaching clients explain and demonstrate these concepts in a way that I can’t. Each person has a way of sharing their own personal stories. It’s conversational and relatable, so definitely check it out if you are interested in working on your mindset and breaking through fears. Have you read the book yet? What did you think? Tell me in the comments.

16 Comments

Memories, Parenting

What Valentine’s Day is Really About

February 14, 2019

This morning, I made a video with Rosebud and shared it with friends. It was basically a video message from her telling everyone, happy Valentine’s day while playing with her build a bouquet play set.
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During the video, I mentioned something about how on Valentine’s Day, you give cards and gifts to people you love. I told Rosebud that I gave her the flower set because I love her. I didn’t go into too much detail other than that, but after I posted the video, I felt guilty. I wondered if people would be judging me because I told her That Valentine’s Day was for giving cards and gifts. Would people think I’m materialistic? Yes, I’m an over thinker.

Then I thought that the more abstract ideas about Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be something that a three-year-old would understand anyway. For her, Valentine’s Day may be about gifts and cards because they are tangible, but as she gets older, I want her to understand that Valentine’s Day is about more than that. You might get cards and gifts for people you love, but the more important part is spending time with them. It’s about having fun, laughing, making memories together and showing them you care. I want her to know that you don’t need a commercialized day to do those things. They should be done every day.

I spent the majority of my day at work, but Rosebud spent it with family playing with her gifts, eating candy and having fun. When I was finally done with work, Little Guy and his mom came over to spend time with Rosebud and I. He had a Valentine for her. There was a goody bag with a crayon heart, a couple heart shaped lights and a flower. They were making quite a light show. His mom joked that it looked like a rave party. I ordered pizza and his mom brought a bottle of wine. Little Guy was too excited to settle down to eat, but he and Rosebud played. They laughed, chased each other around and argued over toys as only toddlers and preschoolers do, but in the end, they enjoy each other’s company. His mom and I talked, had a few laughs and enjoyed our pizza and wine.

Isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is about? Spending time with people you care about. It may be a day for couples, but if you are not in a relationship, you have to find a way to make it fun and that’s what I did. It’s too easy to get caught up in all that commercialization. I also think that when you have kids, holidays take on a whole new meaning. I am grateful that I spent the best parts of today with Rosebud and my new friends. Thank you for making today fun and memorable and for the reminder of what Valentine’s Day is really about.

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Books, Personal Development

To Be Read List for 2019

January 27, 2019

Recently, I posted about the memorable books I read in 2018. I got a lot of great feedback from that post and one of my readers left me a comment wondering what I would like to read in 2019. Her comment got me thinking that a to be read list would make a great post. So, here it is. There is plenty of self help with some novels and nonfiction thrown in.

1. Take Control of Your Life
This is the latest release from Mel Robins that will be out in February. I’m a fan of her previous books. She has a direct style and practical advice. Some of the things covered in this book are fears of rejection, being alone and the dreaded, but all too common fear of change. Why not read it? Who doesn’t want to bust through fear and take control of their lives?

2. The Desire Map Experience
It’s not about the goals, to do lists or new years resolutions, but how you want to feel in every part of your life. I think this book will have a lot of useful exercises.

3. The Five Love Languages of Children
I read The Five Love Languages for Singles a couple years ago because I was curious as to what my love language was. It turns out, my love language is receiving gifts. I find the concept interesting and it makes a lot of sense. People have different ways of expressing love and of course, people have different things that are meaningful to them. I saw that Gary Chapman wrote a version for children and now I want to read it. I want to find out what Rosebud’s love language is. Maybe she’s still too young for me to know, but maybe not.

4. The Woman in the Window
A novel written by A. J. Finn, about a woman who lives alone who spies on her neighbors. She believes she has seen a crime, but has she? The book is a best seller and I want to read it to find out why.

5. The Perfect Roommate
Last year, I read a couple of books by Minka Kent and this is the third one I found on Audible. It doesn’t have as many good reviews as her other books, but I figured, why not give it a try? A girl knows some dark secrets about her roommate.

6. Writing creative nonfiction
The title makes it obvious what this book is about. It’s more of a course than a book, but I’m interested in ways of making my writing better. Even though it’s not my day job, why not improve my craft? These lectures include writing samples and exercises that help you with all stages of the writing process.

7. The Best Friend
This one is by Shalini Boland. A woman has a new best friend who seems to have it all, but as she learns more, she finds out her best friend has dark secrets.

8. The Introvert’s Way
A book that helps us introverts to embrace our quiet nature and honor what is unique about us. This book has been on my wish list for a while and I’m hoping to read it this year. It sounds like it will be a refreshing perspective on those of us who are quiet.

9. The Boy who Loved Too Much
A boy has Williams Syndrome. I’m not familiar with it at all, but it causes him to be trusting and overly friendly to everyone he meets. He doesn’t have the natural skepticism that we usually have with strangers. This book is about him and his mother’s challenges in parenting him. Like all parents, she has to choose when to be protective and when to let go, but his condition adds an extra layer.

10. Chicken Soup for the Traveler’s Soul
It seems as though there is a chicken soup book for everything and of course, they have one for travelers. I don’t get to travel these days, but I like learning about other places, so reading about it will have to do for now.

In reality, I have a wish list a mile long, but I’ve picked these ten to start with. I’m sure I’ll read more than ten books this year and will end up reading plenty that aren’t on this list. What have you read so far this year? What books are you planning to read? Tell me in the comments. Happy reading.

11 Comments

Blogging, Personal Development

Blogging Goals for 2019

January 15, 2019

I started this blog in March of 2018 and I’ve learned a lot since then. In my welcome post, I mentioned my previous blogs. One was dedicated to early childhood education. It focused on my experiences in the classroom and educational activities. My other blog was more about day to day life. My early childhood blog had a small following, but nothing substantial. I think what helped was all the time and energy I would put into it. I had time to build up a Twitter following and interact more. I had more time to comment directly on other people’s blog posts. Although I was proud of that blog, I lost my passion for working in the classroom and the blog basically died out. I knew nothing about SEO. I didn’t use Facebook and wasn’t apart of a community of any kind. It was very basic. It was fun in the beginning and then I let it go when it wasn’t.

This time around, I’m definitely more excited about my blog. I’m passionate about being a mom, creating content and sharing experiences that might help others. I’m happy with my blog, but it could always be better. In order to make anything successful, you have to plan and set goals. Even if you change the goals, you should have something to strive for. Eventually, I want to incorporate this blog as apart of my business. Whether it be childcare, coaching or both. So, I’m keeping this in mind when I think about my blogging goals.

1. Find additional ways to increase traffic

My main goal is to increase the amount of traffic to my blog. Since March, this has been a challenge. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I am unable to effectively use Pinterest. This puts me at a disadvantage. Many mom bloggers I know use Pinterest as their main source of traffic. I think my content would do well on Pinterest, but since it is inaccessible to me and I do not have the means to pay a virtual assistant to create and schedule pins, I have to think of other creative ways to promote my blog. Most of my current traffic comes from Facebook groups. In 2019, I need to work on finding other traffic sources for my blog.

2. Make posts more SEO friendly

As I’ve already said, I knew nothing about SEO before and not much has changed. I use tags, but I haven’t done my research on which key words I should be using to bring more traffic. I have increased the amount of back links which can bring up my ranking with Google, but it’s not just about back links within your own blog, if reputable sites link back to your blog, that brings the ranking even higher. My goal is to read more articles and maybe take a course on SEO in 2019.

3. Write at least one guest post

On some of the Facebook blogging groups, I see posts asking for guest posts. Guest posting on another blog is a great way to promote your blog because you get exposed to a wider audience. I’d like to guest post, but I don’t know what I’d write. Do I just take one of my post ideas that have been floating around? What if they don’t like what I write? What if it’s not good enough? This thought process may seem irrational, but these are the questions that go through my head. Of course, I don’t have to guest post, but it would be a great opportunity to reach a broader audience. The whole idea makes me uncomfortable, but I could start by hosting a guest post on this blog and simply return the favor.

4. Rejoin Amazon Affiliates and make the required three sales

As you may or may not have noticed, some of my posts had Amazon affiliate links. In my older posts, the links are still there and will take you to a product, but I do not get a commission. Unfortunately, I did not make any sales in 2018 so, my account was closed. The great thing about Amazon Affiliates is that you can reapply. I’m waiting until the traffic to my blog increases before I try again. Now I post links to products for your convenience and I love sharing the products that I use and believe in even if I don’t make a penny. I’m planning to reapply for Amazon Affiliates within the next few months depending on the traffic.

5. Create and follow a schedule

Back in December, I had a final session with my coach and we discussed my blog. My main focus was creating a schedule. At the time, it seemed that Tuesdays and Fridays were the best days to post. Now I’m rethinking it. I still want to post twice per week, but I’m wondering about rearranging the schedule. I’m so worn out on Mondays that I can’t seem to find the energy to put together a post for Tuesday. I try to write on the weekends, but Rosebud is no longer napping so, it’s harder to find the time. Maybe Mondays and Fridays would work better, but then again, there’d only be two days between posts and then nothing for several days. I need to get my butt in gear and schedule posts ahead of time, but as a multitasking mom, when do I have time for that? This goal is a lofty one, but it’s one I really need to work on.

To recap, my goals are to find additional ways to increase traffic, make blog posts more SEO friendly, to write at least one guest post, to rejoin Amazon Affiliates and to create and follow a posting schedule. What are your blogging and or business goals for 2019? Tell me in the comments.

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About me, Books, Personal Development

10 Memorable Reads of 2018

January 6, 2019

I know 2019 is already here, but I wanted to share some of the books I read last year. I read close to 50, but here are ten of the books I really enjoyed or were the most memorable. I wasn’t much of a reader until my late 20’s. I mostly read nonfiction and rarely branched out. Lately, I’ve been trying a bit of everything and read quite a few novels last year. I’ve branched out into self-help as well. With those books, I take the gems that resonate with me and leave the rest.

In 2018, there were a few that stood out to me and I found lessons that I could actually apply in real life. Since I am talking about self-help, I’ll start with those in no particular order.

Self Help

The 5 Second Rule

Listening to this book was like having Mel Robbins sitting right here talking. It was relatable and practical. The 5 second rule is a great strategy to help you stay motivated and last year, there were a lot of times where I put it into practice. Especially surrounding my morning routine. If you haven’t heard it, you should check it out and maybe you’ll find it helpful.

Kick Ass With Mel Robbins

This Audible original consists of several coaching sessions with Mel Robbins. This was interesting because Mel is more confrontational than most coaches I’ve heard of, but she made a lot of valid points with these particular clients. There were a variety of topics discussed and overall, it was an interesting listen.

Light is the New Black

Throughout this book, there were many thought provoking questions posed. This gave me lots of journal prompts to work through. There was some awesome quotes and affirmations that I really like. I enjoyed answering some of the questions in this book and it helped me to realize that I needed to get back to writing and journaling.

Attached

This book is written by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller. I’m cheating a bit. I read this book towards the end of 2017, but I am including it on this list because I found it insightful. I thought I had one attachment style, but after answering the questions in the book, my results were much different than I expected. It made a lot of sense to me. This knowledge will definitely help in the future. It was an eye opening read.

Nonfiction

When the Air Hits Your Brain

This was a well written account of one doctors experience being a Nero surgeon. His stories about his patients and colleagues were real and and at times filled with a lot of emotion. I cried during chapter 10. The story about the baby just got me. There were instances of sadness and death, but there were medical miracles too. I enjoyed this book.

The Sound of Gravel

This book was more shocking and disturbing than enjoyable. I love documentaries and and reading stories about people’s lives. At times that includes a lot of sadness and shocking and scary things. A lot of negative stuff that happens in this world is preventable. Especially when it comes to children. This book was proof of that. Spoiler alert! The author does find a better life, but it was a long hard road.

Chicken Soup for the Soul: What I learned from the Cat

I love these Chicken Soup books when it comes to stories about pets. I’ve read Chicken Soup for the Cat Lovers Soul and Chicken Soup for the Dog Lovers Soul. There were amazing stories in all three of these books. Some were sad enough to make me cry and others made me laugh out loud. It’s amazing how pets can comfort, rescue, create bonds, play and help heal us. If you are an animal lover, I’d definitely recommend this series of books.

Fiction

The Perfect Mother

This book was a thriller with a few twists. A group of mothers meet up for play dates and one of the babies disappears. Some of the mothers come together to try to solve the case which takes you in a few different directions.

Little Fires Everywhere

A Chinese mother places her baby up for adoption and a white family is in. the process of adopting her. It becomes a controversial issue in the small town where the book takes place. The focus is on one family. An unusual woman and her daughter are new in town and they have a major impact on the whole family. This story has lots of layers and deals with a wide variety of issues both within a family and in the wider community.

The Memory Watcher

A young mother puts her child up for adoption. It seems that the perfect family has adopted her, but there are issues that get uncovered throughout the book. The characters were complex and no one was who they seemed to be. It was a fast read and the ending felt like the author could continue the story if she wanted to. If you like suspense or family drama, you’d probably enjoy reading this book.

This year, I hope to read many more books and by next year, I will have created another list. I just started reading My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward.” What are you reading right now? What have you read that you’ve loved? Tell me in the comments and happy reading.

29 Comments

Memories, Parenting, Personal Development

Happy New Year, 2019!

January 1, 2019

I’ve been meaning to do a series of posts leading up to 2019, but I’ve been so busy with the holidays and watching Little Guy that I’ve had no energy left at the end of the day. I want to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Actually, I want to sleep long before that. Usually it starts as soon as I hear Rosebud talking to herself in the morning since she refuses to sleep in, even if she goes to bed late. She has also given up naps for the most part, so she’s been exhausted lately. Although I love blogging, I haven’t had it in me. I’m hoping to get back on track in the new year.

I was one of those people last year who decided to have a word as a theme to 2018. Well, my word was change and 2018 turned out to be the complete opposite. If I were to sum up 2018 into one word, it would be stuck. I felt like I was in a maze, going down one path only to realize it led back to where I started. At the end of 2017, I was able to come up with a long list of wonderful things that happened that year. I reconnected with some great people I had lost touch with, I took pottery classes, I was able to make big improvements on my home and Rosebud grew so much and met so many milestones.

This year was hard. The cats were sick a lot. Most of my coworkers retired, moved away or quit because they couldn’t take it anymore. Since then, it has been a revolving door of new faces. I’m usually anxious about meeting new people, so this has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. On one hand, I think it will be exciting to meet new people because maybe, just maybe, it will be someone I can connect with. Then I usually end up disappointed because we don’t share the same interests, our personalities aren’t compatible or there’s just nothing there. this goes for coworkers, friendships or relationships. My exploration of transcription fell through and I decided it wasn’t for me. Coaching is still an option, but I will have to take out a loan to cover the cost of training, so this will have to wait. Maybe I can start this year depending on how things go. I missed out on pottery classes because they fill so quickly and I didn’t find other classes that interested me. The improvements I made to my home were minimal, but on the flip side, I’m lucky that there aren’t urgent things that need fixing.

For the positive, Rosebud has become quite a conversationalist. She always has something adorable to say. Her latest thing is reading to me. I love hearing her try to retell a story or make up her own. The other positive thing was meeting Little Guy at work. We clicked since day one and now I have connected with his family. I’ve watched him a lot this month which not only has allowed me to make some extra money, but has given me a great trial run in childcare from home. I have to say that it has been going great except for yesterday. I woke up in a bad mood, Rosebud was crabby and Little Guy was tired and his family is in the middle of moving to a new house. He was not acting like himself for most of the morning, so it was a difficult day all around. We will all have those days though no matter where we are or what we are doing.

Here are my goals and hopes for the new year.

To finalize a career plan. Do I want to have my own business and what will I be doing? I will be taking a training this month on home childcare since I’m leaning towards watching a couple kids from home. My long term plan would be to continue being a childcare provider for the next couple of years. Meanwhile, I could start building up a coaching business.
Take a class for fun. It could be pottery or something else.
Get back to a regular exercise routine. I’ve been slacking lately!
Journal regularly. I know I’ll look back on this time later and regret that I haven’t kept up with it. I want to keep the memories of Rosebud while she is little.
Turn one room in my house into a play room.
Get Rosebud potty trained. This has been a hard and frustrating thing we’ve been working on.
Let go of things I don’t need. Whether they be objects or self limiting beliefs.
Read at least 20 books. This should not be hard with my Audible subscription.
Take one night per week for self care.
Post on the blog on a regular schedule. Over the past few months, I’ve figured out that Tuesdays and Fridays work best for me.

Well, I’ll be busy this year, but I’m excited to get started. If I do something each day to reach my goals, I’ll get there eventually, but I know I have to start by breaking it down into achievable steps. I won’t be choosing a word or making new years resolutions, but I will be progressing towards long-term goals. At the end of the day, I know I need to get back to basics. Spending quality time with Rosebud, maintaining a healthy mind and body and focusing on writing and creating because those things make me the happiest. Even if I don’t have a play room by next January or if I. Miss out on pottery classes once again, I know there are still things to be grateful for. I could dwell on everything I didn’t accomplish from last year, but why? Maybe I won’t accomplish everything I set out to do this year and that’ll be okay. What are your goals and hopes for 2019? Will you be working on setting goals with your kids? Introducing Smart Goals is a great way to start! What keeps you motivated? Let me know in the comments.

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About me, Parenting, Personal Development

15Things I’m Thankful For

November 16, 2018

I wanted to do a gratitude series of posts in November, but this month seems to be running away from me. It’s already half over. To get into the spirit of Thanksgiving, here’s a list of some of the things I am grateful for. Not just for this season, but all year.

1. This blog

I’ve found another creative outlet and I’ve had fun expanding my knowledge of blogging. I’m thankful that you are reading my blog. You could be reading any of the millions of articles online, but you’ve come here and I appreciate that.

2. My ability to write

Speaking of the blog, it wouldn’t be in existence without my ability to write. I’m grateful for the people who have encouraged me to write over the years. Mrs. Galle and Mr. Fisher in particular. Writing not only lets me reach out to so many people through this blog, but it helps me through difficult times.

3. Books

I never thought I’d like reading. When I was a kid, I hated it and if you told me I’d love books as an adult, I’d have laughed in your face. It was mostly because reading was slow for me and I didn’t have the same books as the other kids. When I found Audible and the Kindle app, a whole new world opened up to me. Now I always am reading a book or two.

4. Today’s technology

Although many people see today’s technology as a curse, I see it as a blessing. I don’t know where I’d be without all this technology. I was able to complete an entire masters degree online and now my goal is to have a business working from home. None of that would’ve even been possible when I was a kid. When cell phones first became popular, there was so much of it that was inaccessible to me because of my visual impairment. If you told me when I was younger that I’d be using the exact same technology as my peers and would be able to access the same information in real time, I wouldn’t have believed it. Don’t get me wrong, there is still a long way to go when it comes to accessibility. New accessibility bugs pop up with every software or app update, but we have come a long way.

5. Clay

I love being creative and making something functional and or beautiful. You can pick up a ball of clay and there are endless possibilities. With imagination and some skill, you can make something amazing. I’m hoping to take another pottery class this winter.

6. Cooking

I’ve tried lots of new recipes this year. I love experimenting in the kitchen and finding a new favorite recipe.

7. My home

I’m so thankful that I have a wonderful home where my daughter can grow up. At least for the next few years. It’s cozy as Rosebud says. I’ve been able to make lots of improvements to it as well, getting it closer to my dream home. I am so fortunate to have a nice warm place to live and try to remember that every day.

8. Nature

I love finding the sunny spot on a cold day, looking at the clouds and taking walks to get fresh air and to just listen to the birds. The beach is my happy place and I even love rainy days.

9. Family

Although we have our issues, they’ve always been there for me when times have gotten really tough.

10. My cats

They’ve been with me for a long time. Even though I haven’t been able to spend as much time with them and don’t get to spoil them as much since I’ve had Rosebud, they’ve been such a comfort. They have a wonderful presence and our home would feel empty without them. They are friendly, affectionate, fluffy and protective of Rosebud. I couldn’t ask for anything else from a pet.

11. Friends

I don’t have very many and the ones I have, I don’t get to see them often, but I appreciate them so much. Thank you for letting me vent, being there for me and sharing stories and plenty of laughs.

12. The kids I work with every day

There are a few who are so special to me and are my whole reason for showing up to work. I love the hugs, when they tell me they love me and when they include me in their play. When they come up and demand you play with them, you know you’ve done something right.

13. My health.

I’ve always been generally healthy. When I see the people around me with lots of medical issues, I realize how fortunate I am.

14. My past experiences

Although there have been a lot of negative experiences in my life, they’ve shaped who I am today. I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons. Although I’m not yet grateful for everything in my past, there are still lessons left for me to learn. I am grateful for the opportunities for growth ahead and for all the wonderful memories, the people who I’ve met and the places I’ve seen.

15. My daughter

Most of all, I’m thankful for my daughter. She has given my life a whole new purpose. I don’t know where I’d be without her. Yesterday, I watched her cook in her pretend kitchen and when she served the cupcakes, she offered more to me than she saved for herself. She doesn’t always clean up her toys or listen to me, but when I ask her if she can do me a favor, her response is always, of course. She’s always wanting to help and she has an endless supply of hugs and kisses. She’s smart, sweet and funny and I’m so proud to be her mommy.

How about you? What are you thankful for? Tell me in the comments.

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Memories, Parenting, Personal Development

Do the Right Thing: A Reminder for Halloween or Any Time

November 3, 2018

Hallloween is approaching and many of us will be interacting with our neighbors, so I’m updating this story from last year to remind us to be compassionate and kind. We can’t assume everyting about everyone, nor can we know what goes on in everyone’s lives. However, we can all do our best to make Halloween night a positive experience for our children and if you don’t celebrate Halloween, that’s okay too. I know this seems like common sense, but apparently last year, one of my neighbors still needed that reminder.

On Halloween night, my brother and I took Rosebud trick-or-treating. My mom and my other brother stayed behind and handed out the candy. We have a ton of trick-or-treaters in the neighborhood, so I usually run out of candy quickly. The first year I lived here, I ran out of candy within minutes of turning on the light. The kids kept coming, so I went to the store to get another bag. Then last year, Halloween celebrations were rescheduled due to a large storm and power outages, but we barely got any trick-or-treaters on that day. Rosebud wasn’t a fan of last year’s costume and basically it was a bust.

This year, Rosebud loved her costume and understood the whole idea of trick-or-treating. Although she was shy, she had a great time.

By the time we got home, there was barely any candy left and my mom wanted to save me a few pieces. She kept going to turn out the light, but the kids kept coming. Rosebud got plenty of candy and my mom was going to start handing that out, but my brother and I agreed that it was hers and that it wasn’t right to be handing it out. I turned out the lights, but I still had some ghost lights hanging in the window. Meanwhile, my brothers went out the back way into the garage to put some things in there. A group of people walked by including this extremely rude woman.

My brothers could hear her from the garage saying something to the effect of, if they’re gonna shut the lights off, they need to not have decorations. She went on about how we needed to hand out candy. Her husband was trying to offer up some explanation as to why our light might be off. He said that maybe we had small children and it was their bed time. He said that maybe we were still out trick-or-treating and not home yet. She continued to voice her opinion very loudly as she continued down the street. The last thing my brother heard her say was that we need to do the right thing.

The ironic thing was that I felt good about how our night went until this happened. I had good interactions with my neighborhoods. Everyone was polite. The kids in the street were well behaved. People were laughing and having a good time. Of course, there always has to be one one rotten apple ruining it for the rest of us. Maybe I should have shut off my decorations along with the porch light, but I was taking photos of Rosebud. Plus, I was still celebrating Halloween. It was getting late and I thought the amount of trick-or-treaters would be slowing down anyway. Maybe I should’ve gotten three bags of candy instead of two. I could’ve spent $40 on candy instead of $20. There’s always a million things I could’ve done differently.

The question is, why? Do we wish we could’ve done things differently because we honestly regret them or is it because of the opinions of others? Would we even care about these insignificant choices that mean nothing in the long run if it weren’t for the judgement from those around us? I wouldn’t have cared, but then I had visions of this woman going on the neighborhood message board and complaining about how there were Halloween decorations, but no candy at my address. It’s a scary thought, but people go on there and complain about specific individuals.

I didn’t feel guilty. I had done the right thing. I had taken my daughter out trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. In turn, I gave candy to the neighborhood kids who came to my door. By the time I shut off my light, Rosebud was tired and the woman’s husband was right, I have a small child who needed to be put to bed. A couple days later, I talked to another neighbor who said she ran out of candy at around the same time. She said that most of the neighbors around her were running out of candy as well. Obviously, I wasn’t alone. If candy wasn’t outrageously expensive, I think most of us would’ve bought more, but that’s a topic for another post.

The next time you are in a situation where you are wondering why on earth someone would do something, give it a second thought before jumping to conclusions. Of course we all are going to make judgements and see things through our own lenses, but there might be a completely reasonable explanation for someone’s actions. My response to that woman would be that instead of telling me to do the right thing, you should take your own advice. Let’s get back to the basics. A little kindness and compassion goes a long way because what you didn’t know is that I already had done the right thing for our neighborhood and at that very moment when you were being rude and judgmental, I was doing the right thing for my daughter.

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Awareness, Childcare, Education, Personal Development, Work

What to Do When You Feel Hopeless

October 25, 2018

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve felt hopeless, but you keep going because there’s this one thing that is keeping you afloat? It’s this one thing you look forward to regardless of everything else that is horrible about your particular situation. Everyone goes through these dark periods in their life. Unfortunately, I’m in the tunnel right now. A tunnel with no light, but here’s what I’m doing about it. These are some of the things that help me get through disappointment and heartbreak and maybe they can help you too.

I’ve mentioned my work in several posts and how I’ve been trying to take my career in another direction. Well, I’ve been seriously thinking about life/career coaching. I’ve been researching schools, learning everything I can and making a plan. However, it’ll take about a year to become certified as a coach through the program I have picked. In the mean time, I have to keep working because bills need to be paid and food needs to be put on the table. I’ve been using the past few months to do research and have been putting a lot of effort into my blog and hadn’t given much thought to my day job other than, that I’m stuck there for now.

Recently, a new little boy joined our program. He connected with me instantly. On his first day, he started bringing blocks to me so I could help him build towers and ever since then, I’ve been his buddy. The classroom he’s in has been having a lot of ups and downs. It has been a while since they had two regular teachers in there, so I’ve been trying to help out in there as much as I can. He has special needs and requires some extra attention that he wouldn’t be getting if I didn’t take the time. I’m in and out of his room throughout the morning and he often cries and tries to leave with me.

Most of his classmates were previously in another classroom I work in, so I knew them already, but their attachment to me is stronger than ever now. I’m one of the few people who have been a constant for them. Since there was an opening in their classroom, I have been pushing to be a teacher in there. Unfortunately, I didn’t get it which was extremely disappointing. I can’t get into all the details, but there was a lot of sneaky planning and plotting going on. Finally, when a decision was made, there was literally no communication with some of us who were being effected by these changes.

I wanted this job so I could really make a difference for him and the other kids. I was planning which books I would read to them, projects we could do and fixing up the classroom routine. Talking with parents is something I struggle with, so I was planning strategies on getting to know the parents and hopefully building trust. I had it all mapped out in my head. I would take this job, make it as fun as possible for the next year and then when I’d be done with my certification, I could slowly start to build my business. With the news that they had given the job to another coworker, that came crashing down.

I didn’t know if I’d even stay for another day. In fact, I still don’t know how long I will stay, but here’s what I do know. I can still accomplish my goal. I didn’t get this job, but it wasn’t my end goal anyway. It just would’ve been a bonus. Maybe there’s a reason I didn’t get it. Maybe something bigger and better is waiting for me. If you’ve just experienced heartbreak or a major set back, here are some things to try.

Journaling

Journaling is great for getting out feelings and thoughts. You can write whatever comes to mind and sometimes you even learn something new about yourself. After you get all your crummy feelings on paper, it’s easier to let them go. If someone has hurt you, write them an unsent letter. Get those emotions out and then destroy the letter. You can also use your journal to make gratitude lists and remap your goals. If you are focusing on your future and what you are grateful for, you won’t be thinking about that thing that is making you feel like crap right this minute.

Reaching Out

Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to someone. Whether it be friends, family or even a therapist. Sometimes, you need someone to bounce ideas off of. Maybe you want someone to empathize or just listen.Just knowing that you have someone’s undivided attention helps and of course you can return the favor when your friends or family are struggling. Let someone be there to help. You’ll feel better knowing that someone is on your side. At first, I thought no one would be on my side in this situation, but after reaching out and talking to some people, I’ve learned that others are seeing the same things I am. At first, I felt very much alone and started to wonder if I was over reacting, but others have validated my experience. If I hadn’t reached out, I would have continued feeling alone.

Get Active

Take a walk, try yoga, do a workout routine, go swimming, anything active. It will help blow off steam and is good for your overall physical and mental health. Taking a walk this weekend helped me. It was nice to just be outdoors, getting fresh air and being in nature.

Pamper Yourself

I treated myself this weekend. I made myself some yummy brownies that I shouldn’t have, but I was desperate for chocolate. I did lots of writing and spent time doing art projects with Rosebud. If you are doing things that you really enjoy, your mind is occupied and you won’t be thinking about those negative experiences. Other self care ideas include spa day, bubble bath, cooking a nice meal, shopping or whatever relaxes and re-energizes you.

I hope these tips help you pick yourself up off and dust yourself off after a huge disappointment. Try to remember that you are worthy of good things. How do you move past disappointments? Tell me in the comments. As always, thank you for reading.

6 Comments

Awareness, Childcare, Education, Parenting, Personal Development, Work

Can We Stop Being so Judgmental Already?

October 20, 2018

This post was inspired by an interaction I had with a coworker this week. For those who may be stumbling across my blog for the first time, I work in an early childhood program. As is the case with most programs, we have parents fill out intake paper work before the child joins us. This way, the teachers can get to know some basic information about the child. This is meant as a starting point, but all too often, teachers already are making judgements and have formed an opinion of the child and or the parents before even meeting the child. As teachers, we really need to be mindful of this as it can damage a relationship with the child and family before it has even begun.

I was sitting with a coworker at nap time as I usually do and she was reading an enrollment form for a child who will be joining us soon. After almost every item, she made a snarky comment. Although my coworker’s children are grown now, she must remember being a parent to young children. We learned that the child’s father recently left the family. The mother works and is now single. She is young and the little boy is her first and only child. We learned that he sleeps in the same room with her. It wasn’t clear if they bed share. His bed time is between 8:30 and 9 and he watches about three hours of tv each night.

While these may not be some of the parenting choices I’d make, it’s not my place to judge. I have no idea what goes on in their household. When we read that the boy sleeps in the same room with his mom, her comment was, oh, god. My comment was, maybe they have a small apartment or maybe he’s having some anxiety since his dad left recently so for now he sleeps with her? Another explanation may be that she misses him since she works all day and likes being close to him. We have to choose the sleeping arrangement that works best for our family.

When we learned that he watches three hours of tv each night, her comment was, “that’s way too much tv. That’s a lot. I don’t even watch that much tv.” I mentioned that maybe that’s why his bed time was late because I’ve read research that shows that it takes children longer to settle if they watch tv right before bed. I said that the mom is young and newly single, that maybe she has a lot to do at night and that’s why he is watching so much tv. I really can empathize with this mom. Rosebud watches more tv than I would like, but there are times when I need to clean, cook, make phone calls etc. It’s hard to do that when you have a toddler who wants all your attention. While the teacher in me whole heartedly agrees that it’s too much tv, the parent in me understands.

These days, I am much more likely to view things from a parent perspective, but it hasn’t always been that way. About four years ago, we had a baby in our infant room who had a huge appetite. At least that’s what we thought. His mother would send him with a few small bottles of breast milk. Each of the bottles had two to three ounces which is completely normal and appropriate for breast-fed babies. However, we didn’t know that at the time. Between bottles, the child would scream and suck his hands. He seemed very hungry so we would tell the mother that he needed more bottles and one teacher kept suggesting that that they needed to supplement with formula.

While I don’t think we were completely wrong about him being hungry, here is what we weren’t understanding. Smaller more frequent feedings is the norm for breast-fed babies and paced feeding is an absolute must. We should’ve been questioning the flow of the nipple. Maybe it was too fast and he was drinking too quickly. Maybe if we slowed him down, he would’ve felt more satisfied. Also, it was insensitive to suggest supplementation before trying other options. There are a lot of intense feelings involved with breast-feeding and supplementation can be a sensitive issue. It can also mess with a mother’s milk supply.

Back then, I was not a parent yet and knew nothing about breast-feeding. One co-teacher was in the same boat as I was and the other co-teacher was a parent, but she formula fed. We had no idea and the fact is this mother was doing everything right in her situation and we had no business judging. We’d say things like, why doesn’t she bring more milk? Doesn’t she realize he’s hungry? She really needs to start bringing formula.

After I became a parent, I understood. I learned all I could about breast-feeding and was having my own experiences with supplementation, not producing enough milk, feeling like a failure as a parent and eventually being successful with it. I finally could walk in her shoes. When I look back, I feel bad. Now, when there doesn’t seem to be enough milk, I wonder what we can do to help. I wonder if the mother has the same supply struggles that I did. Now that I have a new understanding, I am in a better position to relate to and advocate for the children and families I work with. As for the baby, the mom never changed the size of his bottles, but after we started the transition from a bottle to sippy cup and solids were introduced, things settled down. She never caved and gave him formula. She stuck to what she knew in her heart was right and that’s what we all need to do.

The next time you are in a situation where you or someone else is judging, step back. Do some alternative thinking. If there is something that doesn’t make sense to you, come up with other possibilities. For example, the little boy watches three hours of tv each night. That is not a parenting choice I’d make, but in my head, I made a list of reasons why that might happen. Maybe mom is making dinner, cleaning or trying to study. Maybe she needs a break after a long day of work. Her job might be stressful and she needs some time to herself. Maybe that’s how her and her child bond over watching shows together. That felt much better than jumping on my coworker’s train of thought of negativity. When you reframe something and come up with a different interpretation, you may be able to understand that person or interaction better. The choice to judge or not judge starts with you. How do you avoid making judgements about others? Let me know in the comments.

16 Comments