Self Care

Affordable Self-care for Moms

July 18, 2019

Today, I have a wonderful guest post for you by Andee Schmidt who is working on her new blog. When it is up and running, I will add the link to this post. I often talk about personal development and the importance of self-care for moms, so I was happy when Andee approached me to share this post on affordable self-care for mothers. Thank you, Andee for writing this post and sharing with my readers. If you’re on a budget and are in need of some affordable self-care ideas, you’ll definitely want to check out Andee’s self-care suggestions.

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard the term self-care being floated about. Many times this idea conjures up a “treat yourself” mentality of shopping splurges and face masks, but that’s not always the case. Self-care can be accessible.

But, as mothers, it might feel like there’s barely any time –or money– to focus on you. Read on in this list of affordable self-care ideas to find out how mothers can prioritize themselves, because health shouldn’t be a luxury.

Self-Care for Mothers

Moms have the toughest job in the world. You’re probably feeling overworked and overtired, and that’s precisely why it’s important that you take care of both your mental and physical wellbeing.

Ultimately, self-care is the practice of taking action to improve your own health. Honoring your body, mind, and spirit will help you activate the best version of yourself you can be by improving your physical, mental and/or emotional health.

Although it probably sounds impossible to prioritize an hour for just you, treating yourself to time alone has been proven to improve overall wellbeing. In fact, according to VeryWellMind, it can even make you a better caregiver, because it reduces the feeling of burn out.

Free and Affordable Options

Flex your creativity

You don’t need to be artistic to benefit from an artistic hobby. In fact, the pleasure from art usually comes from the process of creation, not necessarily the final outcome. Whether it’s painting, knitting, drawing or sculpting, budgeting some time per week for a creative hobby can have very positive results. Finding your groove with something artsy is a great way to get into a flow state and let your mind relax.

Remember, coloring books aren’t only for children anymore, but you can always have your kids join the fun and color together!

Relax your mind

Meditation can be intimidating. I don’t know how to do it well or I get distracted are common concerns of those new to the practice. But, here’s the thing, meditating is just about listening to your thoughts and being present in the moment. You can even meditate while taking a shower or while winding down for bed.

Like anything else, meditation takes practice; but here’s a list of good –and free– applications that can get you started: The Mindfulness App, Headspace and Calm.

Become a yogi

You don’t need a large budget for yoga: as long as you have comfortable clothing and a nice quiet space for your practice, you’ll be good to go.

There’s no need to stress about flexibility, stamina or fitness levels. Yoga is more about the mind than the body: learn to be present and mindful of what your body is capable of without worrying too much about perfection. Plus, there are even positions that allow you to lay flat on the floor–mini nap anyone?

Check out some online tutorials or cheap or discounted beginner classes that you can use to get started.

Curl up with a book

Oftentimes, reading is something that falls to the backburner when you have so many other things to worry about. However, reading can be excellent for self-care. Reading is a relaxing activity that helps you take a break from the stress of everyday. Plus, with the boom of audio books you can even read while taking care of your other tasks.

If you’re interested in learning more about self-care, you might want to start by reading some of the books on this list, or these, if you want to read about motherhood.

Take a walk

The good thing about walking? It’s free. And you can do it basically anywhere. Pop in your headphones, or put the kids in a stroller and just walk.

As long as you take the time to think about yourself and take care of your mind, you’ll be practicing some form of self-care. Plus, studies have shown that spending time outdoors can reduce mental fatigue, stress and elevate your mood.

Finding Time for Self-Care

Now this is all peachy… but, many of you might be thinking: how do I get enough time alone to do that?! Prioritizing yourself can be tough when you feel that every second is going to taking care of others. It’s certainly not easy, but here’s a list of quick tips you can use to find the time alone you need:

Occupy the kids

Use the time when your kids are busy as time to squeeze in your self-care. Play dates, nap time and after-school activities are great ways to both entertain your kids and get some free time for yourself.

Put it on your calendar

If you make alone time sporadic, it will feel abnormal for your family. But if you do it weekly and let your kids and partner know this is “mom’s time”, it will become part of their routine and yours!

Ask for help

The truth is, getting alone time while being a mother is nearly impossible, but don’t be afraid to ask for help. Make a plan with your partner or anyone in you support system so you can ensure you are getting what you need. Lean on the people in your life. Also, if you are able, there’s nothing wrong with hiring a babysitter to get a few hours to yourself.

Many of these activities can also be done with the whole family: take your kids out for a walk, to the movies, or the park and you will soon find yourself with time on your hands to think. But if you are able to get some precious alone time, don’t feel guilty for enjoying it. Remember, moms need to be taken care of too!

About the author:

Andee is a recent college graduate from Arizona State University with a love of writing, the outdoors, and funky cafes. You can usually find her hiking or planning her next trip. She is passionate about traveling, frugal living, her family, and the perfect cup of coffee. She is the writer behind the blog : xx . Find her on Instagram as @andee_schmidt or Twitter @andeeschmidt.

3 Comments

Blogging, Motherhood

How To Get Through Blogging BurnOut

May 28, 2019

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, I’ve talked about creating a set schedule and sticking to it. Posting on a regular schedule is an important part of a successful blog. That way, your audience knows what to expect. I’ve been trying hard to get my posts out on Tuesdays and Fridays, but things have been different over these past few weeks. I’m lucky to get posts out on time if at all. I know there’s been silence for about two weeks now because honestly I’ve had no motivation to write. I’ve still been actively promoting my blog on social media, updating old affiliate links and creating new pins, but I haven’t done what I love most, writing and creating new content.

My reality is that I’m a working mom and I don’t want every waking moment that I’m not at work to be spent on this blog. While I love blogging, I still need to spend plenty of time with Rosebud and I need time for myself. Time where I can just relax to enjoy a book or a tv show instead of typing away on the keyboard. I’ve worked on my blog almost every night for a year straight and I finally needed a break. I’d look at my long list of post ideas and none of them stood out. Then I felt guilty for feeling unmotivated and lazy. Yeah. I could just drag myself out of bed even earlier again or stay up past midnight to force myself to write another post that my heart isn’t in or I could just take a break and come back refreshed. Obviously, I’ve made the second choice. I wondered if other bloggers were dealing with burn out, so I reached out to one of my mom blogger groups on Facebook. I asked them what to do when I feel overwhelmed with blogging. I asked what I should do when my motivation isn’t there and I just can’t get it together. They gave me some great ideas and I wanted to share them with you.

Reset Your Priorities

Ashley from A Sweet Life with Style.

Totally a newbie here, but I had to really take a step back and reset my priorities. As much as I love blogging and influencing, I had to realize it was taking away from what matters most – my kids and leaving me COMPLETELY overwhelmed. I am still overwhelmed every single day but at least there isn’t guilt of not being with my kids on top of that ! lol no advice.. but definitely can relate!

Take A Break

Stacy from Protecting Your Pennies.

Honestly, I just take a break. Probably not the best thing to do but I do. I’m working now to build up some posts that I can have ready to go and saved that would be applicable at anytime so that I can schedule those if I am having an off week or 2.

Repurpose Old Content

Heather whose blog is still brand new and under construction suggests repurposing old content? Hire out a blog post? I’m struggling with a husband working random hours (nurse; so he’s on 3 days, off 4 and in my hair!), plus one kid in school, the other I’m working with preK stuff till he starts preK this fall. I’m trying to batch work. And getting up early. But take time for you, too. If you’re burnt out you won’t be good to anyone. Write random thoughts about that down (maybe you’ll be able to bring it together for a post of burnout/reviving yourself). Start posts and ideas randomly, as you can, so you have something underway in the future. You can always add to it and then finish it up in weeks like this. Do a quick ‘live’ video for your audience. Something to say hey, I’m a mama, taking some me time but I’ll be back. Update an old post and repost it. I hope some of these ideas are helpful.

Write Just to Write

Kaci from Mykew.net.

Don’t be too hard on yourself because life happens. Maybe try writing just to write vs trying to “write a blog”. I’ve had to do that a couple times and ended up with a couple blog posts at the end of it because I felt like I was being real.

Create A Schedule

Jho from Empowered Moms at Home.

What I did is wake up earlier than the kids. They sleep very late, like 11pm-12 midnight, and wake up late around 10-11am. So I wake up at 7am or try to… Sometimes I wake up at 9am and work on my blog during weekdays. I find it helps that I only publish every other week. I’ll do weekly soon, but for now I can’t put so much since I’m still on the foundation/learning stage. I still am overwhelmed, but having a daily&weekly schedule to follow helps a lot.

Find a Blogging Group

Tanya from The Mama Life.

I am in a wonderful group on Twitter and we do guest blogs and such when we find we are burnt out. It happens more than not. II work a full-time job as well as parent. You get the point. I took a two month break from writing anything but continued to share content on my social network and repost older posts. My traffic hasn’t declined and my audience is understanding….

Write Posts in Advance

Britta from HomeSweetHomeMaker.

When I do get in the mood I write forever 🙂 Last week I wrote 10 blog posts! I also keep a calendar to schedule them out. I do one post each week because that seems to be what I can keep up with. I always do the month in advance, that way if I get in a rut I know that month is at least taken care of. So in May, I’m working on June’s. So if I don’t write at all in May because I wasn’t feeling it, May was already done in April and I still have time before June gets here!!!

I also keep a LONG list of ideas. So if something pops into my mind while I’m driving or shopping I jot it down and keep a list at the end of my calendar. Then when I need an idea I write that in in the calendar. If I can’t get into it when the time comes I’ll push that idea out a few months and pick another topic.

I used to try to write each post as it came to me and that was so stressful. Writing in advance and scheduling my posts is SO. MUCH. EASIER.

I write the article, do the featured image and pin on Canva and add them in, then schedule it. The day or day after it posts, when I have time, I pin it a few times and get it on the share schedules. 🙂

You can’t expect yourself to always be motivated. Find a way to organize things so that it works according to your schedule.

I only have one child and stay at home, but I still have other responsibilities. I spent about 30-90 minutes daily on my blog. I do it with my cup of coffee while my toddler eats breakfast. This is when I do the share threads. I set aside one nap time each week to work on writing. 🙂 That’s it.

Really, it’s all about organization. Once you figure out a schedule it isn’t hard.

I want to thank these amazing bloggers for their suggestions. They gave me the push I needed and gave me inspiration to put this post together. Blogging is more difficult than it looks. There is a lot more involved than most people imagine, but when my creativity is flowing, I really enjoy it. Burnout can exist no matter the job or activity if your life is out of balance. This wonderful post written by Beth from Balancing Bravely lists 8 Surprising Lessons About Burnout that are Essential for Working Mom Success. Is there anything we missed? How do you get through blogging burnout? Tell me in the comments.

13 Comments

Parenting, Personal Development, Shopping

The Ultimate HomeMaking Bundle for 2019

May 3, 2019

For a limited time, the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is available!

Disclosure: I am an affiliate with Ultimate Bundles and if you make a purchase through the links in this post, I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you.

What’s Inside?

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is perfect for busy moms. Whether you work from home, work outside the home or if homemaking is your primary job, there is something in this bundle for you. The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is jam packed with resources to help you care for yourself, your home and family. Are you in need of good parenting resources? The bundle includes Emotional Overload: 3 Steps To Fewer Tantrums, Greater Connections & More Cooperation

by Rachel Norman among other parenting resources. Are you in need of recipes or meal planning ideas? You can find that in the bundle as well with The Humbled Homemaker’s Meal Planning Printables Bundle

by Erin Odom. If you are a blogger and need some help making Pinterest work for you, HerPaperRoute Guide To Pinterest Marketing

by Chelsea Clarke is also a part of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.

Even More Resources

As you can see, this bundle covers a variety of topics because we wear a variety of hats! We need to take care of ourselves, our families and our homes. The resources in this bundle are filled with strategies to help you do that. Focus on yourself with Courage Against Uncertainty, Habit Tracker Printables and the Lean Fit Home Workout Guide. Support your family with Command Center for Kids, Mom’s Bff Planner, Creating Family Vision Boards and Date Night Bucket Lists. Take care of your home using the Declutter Your House in a Weekend, the Homekeeping & Cleaning Kit and much more.

A Great Value

The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle is a great value! This amazing library of courses and E-books are worth over $2200, but you can get it now for $39.97 for a limited time. The sale ends May 6, 2019. Click here to get the full list of included resources and fore more information about how the bundle works. The homemaking bundle was released just in time for Mothers Day and could make a great gift for the busy moms in your life.

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Infants, Motherhood, Parenting, Toddlers

5 Things You Won’t Learn From A Parenting Book

April 26, 2019

Since Mothers Day is right around the corner, I’ll be doing a series of posts on motherhood. You’ll get the good, the bad and the ugly. If you pick up a parenting book, you’ll read about what to do to have a healthy pregnancy, infant care, tantrums, potty training and how to create a night time routine. They might even touch upon the sleepless nights, for you, the parent. While that information can be very helpful, there are some things they don’t talk about and in most cases, mom’s aren’t talking about these things either. If we’re not talking about the endless joy and unconditional love, it’s as if you’re seen as a bad mom. I love Rosebud more than I’ve ever thought possible. She makes me laugh after a bad day. I am so grateful and proud to be her mom, but there a few things about motherhood in general that drive me crazy at times.

Your idea of clean flies out the window.

I used to take a lot of pride in keeping a clean house. I’d usually vacuum at least twice per week since the cats left hair everywhere. At least one of my weekend days was spent cleaning and doing laundry. I loved having everything in it’s place. There was nothing like coming home to a clean house and knowing that everything would be right where you left it. Well, after you have kids, that all changes. You might still obsess over keeping the place clean and organizing everything, but you’ll find you won’t have time. You’ll spend more time thinking about cleaning than actually doing it and you’ll start to wonder if you’ll ever get to do anything beyond spot cleaning the counters and bathrooms.

Not to mention all the new toys and equipment you’ll be adding to the mix. Half of my living room was filled with baby equipment and now that Rosebud is three, it’s filled with toys. Toys that I have to keep organized because if they are not put into containers, I end up stepping on them which of course hurts my feet. When I end up yelling about the stupid toy, Rosebud asks, what’s wrong, Mommy? Have you ever stepped on a lego or toy person? If so, you can feel my pain! We can always look on the bright side, when kids grow up and think back to their childhoods, they don’t remember whether you deep cleaned the house. They remember the time you spent with them. Here are some cleaning products that help me out.
 
This is a close model to the vacuum I have. It works well on pet hair.
 
This is the one I want to try because of the anti hair wrap feature. That is a huge problem in my house.

You’ll try, but you can’t capture everything.

I don’t know about you, but I wanted to capture Rosebud’s every milestone. I have so many pictures and videos, especially during her first year. While it’s nice to preserve and share those memories, if you spend too much time behind the camera, you’re not participating. If you’re too busy watching, you’re not interacting. There have been so many conversations over the past year or two that I wish I could recreate. I can’t, so they will live on in my memory. There are too many things Rosebud says that I want to write down so I won’t forget, but by the end of a long day, I’ve forgotten what she said. It makes me sad, but I know she’ll say something else that’s equally cute or funny tomorrow. The other day she told me that tomatoes couldn’t make catsup because they don’t have hands. I’d love to capture all the times she tells me I’m her best friend or that I’m a good mommy. She told me the other day that we have a good home. It’s moments like these that make my heart melt and make me so glad that I’m Rosebud’s mom.

You’ll never do anything alone, ever again.

Yes, you read that right. You’ll never do anything alone unless you have a baby sitter or if you’re lucky enough to have a good sleeper. For the first 15 months of Rosebud’s life, we co-slept, so I was never alone at night either. I was one of those people who was convinced, my kid would sleep in her own bed, but as soon as she was born, I didn’t want to be away from her. Although I tried laying her down in her crib, it was a no go. She’d cry and cry and it was just too heartbreaking to listen to. I’d be sitting in bed next to her responding to E-mails, listening to audio books or pumping and she’d usually sleep through everything. That was as long as I’d stay in the bed, as soon as I’d get up to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water or try to go and watch tv, she was awake in no time.

As she got older and started to crawl and eventually walk, any semi alone time I had was over. She’d follow me into the laundry room when I’d try to start the washer, the pantry closet when I’d try to sneak a snack and of course I couldn’t go to the bathroom alone either. If you are reading this and haven’t become a mom yet, appreciate your alone time while you have it.

You finally find out what exhaustion really is.

This phenomenon of complete exhaustion starts while you are pregnant. You don’t even have to weight for the baby to come for this one. In the first part of my pregnancy, I slept like a baby. I’d literally sit in my chair and be asleep a few minutes later. When I’d go to sleep for the night, I’d be so exhausted, I’d sleep so soundly. This was so unlike me. I had never been that tired and at that point, I didn’t know I was growing a tiny human. After my pregnancy was confirmed, I was still exhausted, but the sleepless nights began. What was I going to do? I was going through a difficult situation and nothing went as I had planned. I had a lot on my mind along with the physical symptoms, so I never slept through a whole night after that and I thought I knew what exhaustion was. The truth was I had no idea until Rosebud was born. It was exhausting trying to breast-feed around the clock, change diapers, and then attempting to function like a normal human being during the day. They say that you should sleep when the baby sleeps, but that was so difficult for me. I managed it a few times, but usually I was too worried about the state of the house or other tasks I needed to get done. As they get older, they sleep through the night, but they tend to go to bed later and in Rosebud’s case, she wakes up just as early.

You never get a sick day.

Now that we’ve touched on the exhaustion, that brings me to this little piece of information. Unless you have a village around you, you never get a sick day. It doesn’t matter if you can barely get out of bed, you have to. Your child still needs to be fed and cared for. They’ll still want to play. I remember one day in particular when I had the flu this past winter. I was wiped out. I could barely move without feeling sick, but I had to push myself to at least get up and throw a breakfast together. Then we spent the rest of the day in front of the tv because that’s all I could manage. Rosebud really wanted to play, but I just couldn’t. I made sure her basic needs were met and some days if you are really sick, that’s the best you can do. It helps if you both are sick at the same time because you’ll both want to just lay around, but it almost never works that way. Rosebud is always sick before me. By the time she’s feeling better, I want to spend the day curled up under the covers.

This is why self-care is so important. You cannot run on empty. Even though self-care may be seen as selfish, you have to find some time for yourself. Whether it’s relaxing with a book and a bubble bath, going to get your nails done or working on a craft or hobby, it’s well worth it. Then when the sick days come, you won’t feel as depleted. The other part of self-care is forgiving yourself when you make mistakes or when you are a less than perfect mother. We need to accept that we can make mistakes and learn from them and that we are still lovable even with our imperfections. When we tuck our kids in bed each night, we can tell them we love them and we forget about every crazy thing they did that day. We forget about the messes, the chaos, the interruptions and the fact that they woke us up before the sunrise yet again.

10 Comments

About me, Blogging

My Favorite Things for March

March 31, 2019

I want to share some of my favorite things and accomplishments for the month of March. This is something new I plan on doing at the end of every month from now on. Writing down my accomplishments will keep me accountable and moving forward and why not share some of my favorite things? You might like them as well. For this month, I have a book, a recipe, a perfume and some articles to pass along.

Accomplishments

I’ll start with my wins for the month of March. At the end of February, I started using my Pinterest account which had no views. As of this moment, there are 39,000 views. I know that’s a relatively small number for Pinterest, but it’s just the beginning. I think it’s good considering the endless accessibility issues I have with Pinterest, my limited ability to create eye catching photos and my lack of knowledge on how Pinterest works. I have been reading and researching which has given me a better understanding of strategies for using Pinterest. It’s a work in progress, but what isn’t? My second win and one of my goals for 2019 was to reactivate my Amazon associates account. I’ve been working hard to update older posts as well as create new content. Now the trick is making those sales. My third accomplishment was getting approved for ShareASale. That will be my next project.

Book

As I’ve talked about on the blog before, I always have an Audible book that I’m listening to. Earlier this month, I read the Ex-Wife by Jess Ryder. It was one of those books that sounded kind of interesting, but I wasn’t too sure about it. I found it in a two books for one credit deal. After the first couple of chapters, I really wanted to know what happened next. I listened to most of it in one weekend. I won’t give anything away, but the ending seemed to be an opening for a second book, but who knows. I’ve read a lot of books lately where loose ends aren’t tied up.

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks

Recipe

Unfortunately, I did not take a picture when I cooked this, but I’m not a food photographer anyway. This Easy Instant Pot Macaroni and Cheese is so simple to make. It tastes good. Rosebud loved it and that is saying something. She’s going through an extremely picky eating phase. The best part is it takes about ten minutes. The other great thing is you make it in the instant pot. I love having only one pot instead of a bunch of pots and pans to wash. The macaroni comes out perfect and it is very cheesy. If you try it, let me know what you think.

Perfume

I ordered some makeup and got a sample of Viva LA Juicy Noir by Juicy Couture. I quickly used it all and then had to order more. It’s hard to describe the scent. It’s kind of fruity, but it’s not over the top sweet. It’s not too strong unless you use more than you should. I normally stick with one or two scents that I use most of the time, but this one has become one of my favorites. What are your perfumes that you absolutely love?

Articles

Okay, so I have several for this month. I couldn’t narrow it down to just one, but they all serve different purposes.

This first article is about raising daughters and gender stereotypes. It’s well written and reminds us what is important about raising a girl. Click here to read, The Trappings of Girlhood.

I saw this cool article from Whimsyroo with a list of bath time activities. I know Rosebud gets bored with the same bath toys and this post has some great ideas to make bath time more fun. I love this blog and all the fun activities she posts. Click this link for Creative Bath Time Activities for Kids.

I am a big fan of journaling and one of the benefits of journaling is gratitude. If you journal about the things you are grateful for, it can boost your mood and if you are a believer in the law of attraction, gratitude will bring you more things to be grateful for. That being said, listing the same five things you are grateful for can be a little boring and not seem worth the effort, but Monica from Mindfully Monica explains how to start a gratitude journal that actually works.

Full disclosure, I saw this one a little before March started, but I have to share it. I’m featured on this post from GROWMOMMY.COM! Rosebud’s antics earned me a spot in this list of 10 Hilarious Reasons for Toddler Tantrums.

This post from Be Anxious About Nothing brings to light the very important and overlooked issues of disabled domestic abuse. The post was written in defense of Dr. Phil and his recent show with a couple where the man is disabled and the woman is not. I knew nothing about it until seeing this post, but there has been outrage online due to the show’s supposed ablism. I say supposed because I have not seen it and don’t want to comment without viewing it first. However, I will share this post because disabled people are more likely to be the victims of abuse and that has to stop.

This final link is to a Ted talk about being a good listener. Too often we forget to really take the time to listen to someone. Sometimes all someone needs is to be heard.

How to Listen Better – Tips From a Deaf Guy, from Stephen O’Keefe.

0 comments

Books, Personal Development, Reviews

Brick By Brick

March 2, 2019

At the beginning of this year, I made a list of books I plan to read in 2019. Take Control of Your Life by Mel Robbins was one of them. It’s still early in the year, but I’m glad I’ve finished it already. There were a lot of helpful tips for managing fear, changing your mindset and paying attention to what’s really going on in our bodies.

When we respond to fear, it’s our bodies that get triggered first. Your stomach may tighten, your face may get hot, some people break out in hives etc. The response is different for everyone, but it’s that discomfort that makes us not want to face our fears and return to normal as soon as possible. This is great in a situation where your safety is at risk and your gut is telling you to get away, but it’s not so helpful when you need to make changes in your life. Even positive change is scary because it takes us out of our comfort zone. There were several coaching sessions in the book, but I will focus on the first coaching session because it resonated with me as it’s where I am in life right now. I will summarize the five takeaways from the session and explain how they work.

Figuring out your Pattern

The workbook opens up with some questions. What is your biggest fear and what is your response to it? One of my biggest fears is being stuck in the same place in life and never figuring out my purpose. I can’t imagine being stuck at my dead end job for another five or ten years. I don’t even want to imagine it for another six months. I have no passion left for it. It sucks the energy right out of me. Part of my fear is that I’ll never find something that I love doing. I’d settle for tolerable at this point. This is why the first coaching session in the book, Take Control of Your Life, really resonated with me. The coaching session was with Dan, a man whose biggest fear is never figuring out what he wants to do in life. He’s currently a teacher, but wants to retire from that and wonders what else is out there for him, but what stops him from exploring other options is his pattern of thinking and rethinking. I am also an over thinker.

When I was exploring the possibility of becoming a transcriptionist, I was thinking of everything and it became overwhelming. I had so many questions floating around and instead of working on one thing at a time, I’d either jump all over the place or never get anything done. I’d worry about which software I was going to use. How I’d track the money I was making, how much money I’d make, what I’d need for my business, how to do an invoice, what would I do for a style guide? I needed to write a business plan and didn’t know which part to work on first. Basically, I had jumped way ahead of myself. Most of this was before even trying to work for a transcription company and in the end, I figured out that I didn’t want to make it my life’s work. I hated the different style guides, the low pay, the inaccessibility of so many things and how it would take me a long time to get back up to a good speed. I’d need to be transcribing constantly to get fast again and the fact was I didn’t have the time or energy to devote to it. It’s been a similar process with my interest in coaching and the possibility of running a childcare business from my home. I’m still interested in these things, but I often try to think about the big picture and analyze every detail. For example, I was listening to a podcast about how to set up a life coaching website, but I haven’t even taken the certification course yet.

In the book, Mel Robbins talks about wanting to own a small town coffee shop for years. Eventually, she got a job working in a small coffee shop on weekends, but she quickly learned that she hated working there. What she loved about the coffee shop was the sense of community and her ability to afford a daily coffee if she wanted. She also enjoyed taking the time to sit down with a cup of coffee and chat with those around her. What I loved about transcription was the flexible schedule, the ability to work from home and the idea that I’d be making content accessible to people. I was more excited about my work environment and the prospect of helping people than actually transcribing documents. These are all things I can find in other jobs that would be a better fit. Sometimes, we end up hating the thing that we think is our passion, but every time we explore a new possibility, we learn something new about ourselves.

Slow Down

If we keep ourselves too busy, we don’t have to think about what scares us. If I’m busy, I don’t have to apply for jobs. I don’t have to think about what I want to do next. I don’t have to financially plan for how I’m going to get there. If I’m busy, I keep things the same. They are comfortable because they are familiar, but they are uncomfortable at the same time because I feel the tension in my body. If we slow down, we can figure out what we really want to do. You can slow down by taking a walk in nature, meditating, spending time with those who support you, write in your journal, take a hot bath etc. Whatever reenergizes you.

State It To Create It

In the coaching session, Dan says, “don’t laugh” before he states his dream out loud. His passion is wine and he’s interested in taking a class or opening a wine bar. I didn’t think it was laughable. It’s his dream. Mel discussed how we under state our dreams or never state them out loud at all for the fear of being judged. What if we never achieve our dreams, what then? We’ve already stated what we want and now others might hold us accountable. We also fear that people may think our dreams are stupid or crazy.

What if you don’t know what your dream is? Follow what you enjoy. What are you interested in? What have you always wanted to do? Well, I’m in that boat. I don’t know exactly what my dream is. I’m interested in coaching, so my first step would be to figure out one thing I can do to explore it. Maybe it’s taking a class. Maybe it’s talking to a coach. Maybe it’s watching youtube videos. Once you start, it leads to something else.

Brick By Brick

Don’t think too big. Break your goals down into achievable steps that you can work on each day. When you have a box of legos, you construct your building brick by brick. That is how to pursue your dreams. If your dream is starting a blog, sit down with a blank document and write. Then when you have a few entries written, then worry about the next steps of setting up the website, promoting on social media etc. My interest is coaching, so I signed up for a couple of free webinars. It’s not a huge step, but it’s exploration and it’s one action I can take so I’m not just spinning my wheels.

Passion is not a Person, Place or Thing.

I needed to hear this. It’s not the job, a big house or the new relationship that brings passion into your life. It’s what you have within. You grow in to your passion by following your Curiosity. If you are wondering about your passion, try answering these questions. What are you curious about? What would you do for free? Whose life are you envious of and why? Follow the energy inside of you. That’s where passion lives.

Summary

To summarize, there were five takeaways from the first coaching session in Take Control of Your Life.

1. What is your biggest fear and what is your response? The first piece is to figure out your patterns.

2. Some of us use being busy to cover up our fears. Slow down. Take the time to listen to your inner voice in order to figure out your next steps.

3. State your dreams out loud in order to create them.

4. Achieve your goals brick by brick. Instead of thinking big, think small. Break actions down into small achievable tasks. If the task seems to overwhelming, break it down further.

5. Remember that passion is inside of you. Follow the things you are curious about. Follow the things that energize you and that will lead you in the right direction.

If you have the opportunity, I encourage you to listen to Take Control of Your Life and download the companion workbook. The questions are thought provoking, the tips are super useful and Mel and her coaching clients explain and demonstrate these concepts in a way that I can’t. Each person has a way of sharing their own personal stories. It’s conversational and relatable, so definitely check it out if you are interested in working on your mindset and breaking through fears. Have you read the book yet? What did you think? Tell me in the comments.

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Reviews, Shopping

Blended With Love Review

January 31, 2019

In a previous post about self care I’ve mentioned how I love candles and wax melts. They are little luxury items that I buy for myself. I love the cute wax warmers, all the neat wax shapes and how they make my house smell great.

The only problem I had was that most of the store bought scents gave me a headache, so a couple of years ago, I was browsing Etsy for homemade wax melts. I found this small shop that made the cutest cupcake melts. I love anything cupcake, so I bookmarked it and a few weeks later, I placed my first order. I don’t have pictures of my first order, but I remember a heart shaped cupcake, some strawberries and cream wax brittle and a black raspberry vanilla cupcake. Since then, I’ve been addicted, placing orders every few months.

Here’s what I love about Blended With Love.

First, the owner, Ashley is a work at home mom and I like to support other moms who have a small business when I can. I hope to have a business of my own while being with my child, so I feel supporting other moms on the same mission is a way to pay it forward.

Friendly Service

Whenever I’ve had a question, Ashley answers promptly and is always friendly. She posts updates regularly in her Facebook group. She shows us new melts she’s working on, beautiful wax creations and of course, there are giveaways. If there’s a problem with your order, she does her best to fix it. There was a mix up with one of my orders and she quickly sent a refund.

Good Quality

The best part is the wax melts. The Shop is restocked at different times. There was a restock last month and the next one is on February 2nd. To get specific information on restocks, check the Facebook group. Blended With Love offers a variety of wax melts depending on the season or requests from customers. Some of the common melts include owls, penguins, cupcakes, donuts, ice cream scoops, teacups, teapots, flower pots and drip cakes. There are a variety of scents to choose from. Most of them are unique blended creations.

Blueberry muffin cupcake

Fruity Pebbles Frosting donuts

Strawberry Float ice cream scoops

Barbies Tea Party tea pot

Berry Ice Cream ice cream cone

Customization

Ashley has a long list of people who are signed up for custom orders. Fortunately, I was recently able to place a custom order and I was impressed with everything I got. I ordered a variety of shapes. Some of them with a single scent and others with blended scents. What I love about these wax melts is I can melt them many times before they lose their scent. Many of the wax melts are large and have to be cut into pieces before melting, but that just means they last longer and I can enjoy the scent multiple times. I also love the little details. They are so pretty and look so much like actual baked goods, that I don’t want to melt them. They are works of art.

Mystery Boxes

Sometimes Ashley will create mystery boxes based on a theme. I love unicorns, so when she announced a unicorn mystery box, I had to get one. Most of these scents smell like candy and the little cakes are cute. They are the perfect size for my wax warmers and I love the little unicorn shapes. She’s also done a Snow White mystery box.

Crystal Creations

One of Ashley’s most recent additions are the crystal melts. There is another list of people who want crystal orders in the Facebook group. You get to choose your crystal, the shape you want and of course, the scent. I chose a rose quartz heart with a strawberries and cream cupcake. She’s combined three of my favorite things, crystals, cupcakes and things that smell good.

I’m sure there is more yet to come. I can’t wait to see what else she creates and I hope you head on over to try some of her wax. You’ll love it! I have not been compensated in any way to do this review. I just love her products and want to support another mom doing amazing work.

Blended With Love, shop Blended With Love on Facebook

Blended With Love on Instagram

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Books, Personal Development

To Be Read List for 2019

January 27, 2019

Recently, I posted about the memorable books I read in 2018. I got a lot of great feedback from that post and one of my readers left me a comment wondering what I would like to read in 2019. Her comment got me thinking that a to be read list would make a great post. So, here it is. There is plenty of self help with some novels and nonfiction thrown in.

1. Take Control of Your Life
This is the latest release from Mel Robins that will be out in February. I’m a fan of her previous books. She has a direct style and practical advice. Some of the things covered in this book are fears of rejection, being alone and the dreaded, but all too common fear of change. Why not read it? Who doesn’t want to bust through fear and take control of their lives?

2. The Desire Map Experience
It’s not about the goals, to do lists or new years resolutions, but how you want to feel in every part of your life. I think this book will have a lot of useful exercises.

3. The Five Love Languages of Children
I read The Five Love Languages for Singles a couple years ago because I was curious as to what my love language was. It turns out, my love language is receiving gifts. I find the concept interesting and it makes a lot of sense. People have different ways of expressing love and of course, people have different things that are meaningful to them. I saw that Gary Chapman wrote a version for children and now I want to read it. I want to find out what Rosebud’s love language is. Maybe she’s still too young for me to know, but maybe not.

4. The Woman in the Window
A novel written by A. J. Finn, about a woman who lives alone who spies on her neighbors. She believes she has seen a crime, but has she? The book is a best seller and I want to read it to find out why.

5. The Perfect Roommate
Last year, I read a couple of books by Minka Kent and this is the third one I found on Audible. It doesn’t have as many good reviews as her other books, but I figured, why not give it a try? A girl knows some dark secrets about her roommate.

6. Writing creative nonfiction
The title makes it obvious what this book is about. It’s more of a course than a book, but I’m interested in ways of making my writing better. Even though it’s not my day job, why not improve my craft? These lectures include writing samples and exercises that help you with all stages of the writing process.

7. The Best Friend
This one is by Shalini Boland. A woman has a new best friend who seems to have it all, but as she learns more, she finds out her best friend has dark secrets.

8. The Introvert’s Way
A book that helps us introverts to embrace our quiet nature and honor what is unique about us. This book has been on my wish list for a while and I’m hoping to read it this year. It sounds like it will be a refreshing perspective on those of us who are quiet.

9. The Boy who Loved Too Much
A boy has Williams Syndrome. I’m not familiar with it at all, but it causes him to be trusting and overly friendly to everyone he meets. He doesn’t have the natural skepticism that we usually have with strangers. This book is about him and his mother’s challenges in parenting him. Like all parents, she has to choose when to be protective and when to let go, but his condition adds an extra layer.

10. Chicken Soup for the Traveler’s Soul
It seems as though there is a chicken soup book for everything and of course, they have one for travelers. I don’t get to travel these days, but I like learning about other places, so reading about it will have to do for now.

In reality, I have a wish list a mile long, but I’ve picked these ten to start with. I’m sure I’ll read more than ten books this year and will end up reading plenty that aren’t on this list. What have you read so far this year? What books are you planning to read? Tell me in the comments. Happy reading.

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Memories, Parenting, Personal Development

Happy New Year, 2019!

January 1, 2019

I’ve been meaning to do a series of posts leading up to 2019, but I’ve been so busy with the holidays and watching Little Guy that I’ve had no energy left at the end of the day. I want to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Actually, I want to sleep long before that. Usually it starts as soon as I hear Rosebud talking to herself in the morning since she refuses to sleep in, even if she goes to bed late. She has also given up naps for the most part, so she’s been exhausted lately. Although I love blogging, I haven’t had it in me. I’m hoping to get back on track in the new year.

I was one of those people last year who decided to have a word as a theme to 2018. Well, my word was change and 2018 turned out to be the complete opposite. If I were to sum up 2018 into one word, it would be stuck. I felt like I was in a maze, going down one path only to realize it led back to where I started. At the end of 2017, I was able to come up with a long list of wonderful things that happened that year. I reconnected with some great people I had lost touch with, I took pottery classes, I was able to make big improvements on my home and Rosebud grew so much and met so many milestones.

This year was hard. The cats were sick a lot. Most of my coworkers retired, moved away or quit because they couldn’t take it anymore. Since then, it has been a revolving door of new faces. I’m usually anxious about meeting new people, so this has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. On one hand, I think it will be exciting to meet new people because maybe, just maybe, it will be someone I can connect with. Then I usually end up disappointed because we don’t share the same interests, our personalities aren’t compatible or there’s just nothing there. this goes for coworkers, friendships or relationships. My exploration of transcription fell through and I decided it wasn’t for me. Coaching is still an option, but I will have to take out a loan to cover the cost of training, so this will have to wait. Maybe I can start this year depending on how things go. I missed out on pottery classes because they fill so quickly and I didn’t find other classes that interested me. The improvements I made to my home were minimal, but on the flip side, I’m lucky that there aren’t urgent things that need fixing.

For the positive, Rosebud has become quite a conversationalist. She always has something adorable to say. Her latest thing is reading to me. I love hearing her try to retell a story or make up her own. The other positive thing was meeting Little Guy at work. We clicked since day one and now I have connected with his family. I’ve watched him a lot this month which not only has allowed me to make some extra money, but has given me a great trial run in childcare from home. I have to say that it has been going great except for yesterday. I woke up in a bad mood, Rosebud was crabby and Little Guy was tired and his family is in the middle of moving to a new house. He was not acting like himself for most of the morning, so it was a difficult day all around. We will all have those days though no matter where we are or what we are doing.

Here are my goals and hopes for the new year.

To finalize a career plan. Do I want to have my own business and what will I be doing? I will be taking a training this month on home childcare since I’m leaning towards watching a couple kids from home. My long term plan would be to continue being a childcare provider for the next couple of years. Meanwhile, I could start building up a coaching business.
Take a class for fun. It could be pottery or something else.
Get back to a regular exercise routine. I’ve been slacking lately!
Journal regularly. I know I’ll look back on this time later and regret that I haven’t kept up with it. I want to keep the memories of Rosebud while she is little.
Turn one room in my house into a play room.
Get Rosebud potty trained. This has been a hard and frustrating thing we’ve been working on.
Let go of things I don’t need. Whether they be objects or self limiting beliefs.
Read at least 20 books. This should not be hard with my Audible subscription.
Take one night per week for self care.
Post on the blog on a regular schedule. Over the past few months, I’ve figured out that Tuesdays and Fridays work best for me.

Well, I’ll be busy this year, but I’m excited to get started. If I do something each day to reach my goals, I’ll get there eventually, but I know I have to start by breaking it down into achievable steps. I won’t be choosing a word or making new years resolutions, but I will be progressing towards long-term goals. At the end of the day, I know I need to get back to basics. Spending quality time with Rosebud, maintaining a healthy mind and body and focusing on writing and creating because those things make me the happiest. Even if I don’t have a play room by next January or if I. Miss out on pottery classes once again, I know there are still things to be grateful for. I could dwell on everything I didn’t accomplish from last year, but why? Maybe I won’t accomplish everything I set out to do this year and that’ll be okay. What are your goals and hopes for 2019? Will you be working on setting goals with your kids? Introducing Smart Goals is a great way to start! What keeps you motivated? Let me know in the comments.

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Parenting

Happy Birthday to my Rosebud

December 22, 2018

Rosebud has the same great luck that I do. We share a December birthday. Just like everyone else I’ve ever known with a December birthday, we all complain about how close it is to Christmas. How we never really have a birthday. How no one shows up for winter birthday parties because they are busy with holiday stuff. How our families take shortcuts and just give us a gift they bought us for Christmas instead. How we wish our birthday was on any other month. At least Rosebud and I can commiserate together as she grows up. When she’s older, I imagine a girls day out because we’ll have to make our day special. there’s no one I’d rather share a birthday with.

Every year, I buy her a birthday card, put a little note in and ceil it. I usually include some highlights from that year and tell her how much I love her and how proud I am. I was thinking that there are lots of things I want her to know as she grows up and here are some of them.

You’re beautiful no matter what you wear.

Whether you are wearing a jeans and t-shirt or are dressed like a princess, you’re still beautiful. You’re not only pretty on the outside, but an amazing person on the inside. You are kind. You ask me if I’m okay if you think I’m sad. You always check on me if you think I hurt myself. You’re the sweetest person I know. You tell me I’m a good cook, that I’m a good mommy and you tell me you love me every day. The other day, you said that you are perfect the way you are and it warmed my heart. Please don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Never settle.

The point of life is not how much money you can make and always having top of the line material things. It’s really about being happy both with who you are and what kind of life you have. It is important to make goals and strive for them. Don’t let anyone take you away from the path you are supposed to be on. If something or someone doesn’t make you happy, don’t be afraid to walk away. It will be hard to do this at times, but if something is bringing you down and crushing your spirit, you can’t stay. I’ll always be here to support you. Don’t be afraid to dream big even if it takes a long time to make those dreams come true.

Trust yourself.

I already told you not to settle, but if something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. You can change your mind and you can definitely say no. Sometimes in life you will have to do things that you don’t want to do, but there is a difference in doing hard things because you have to do them and being forced into doing something that doesn’t feel right to you. If a person is not respecting your physical space, find a way to get away from them and out of that situation. Same goes for people who aren’t respecting your time or values. You don’t have to put up with anyone hurting you or bringing you down.

Always keep a piece of yourself

One day if you decide to get married or become a mom, you may feel like the old you is missing. You may be devoting all your time and energy to your family. You might feel depleted and like you have nothing else to give. That’s why it’s important to always take time for yourself. Even if it’s only a few minutes a day. I want to expose you to a variety of things throughout the years so that you can find what interests you, but you can also find these things later as an adult. Read, write, socialize, spend some time alone with your thoughts, enjoy the beauty of nature, find a hobby or just take some time to care for yourself. You have to find something that is just yours to enjoy.

Everyone makes mistakes.

I want you to know that everyone makes mistakes. Really big ones sometimes. We are all human and it happens. What counts is what we learn from our mistakes and what we do differently if there is a next time. I’ve made mistakes and will probably continue making them. It’s apart of life, but I want you to know that I’m doing my best for you. I know you will make mistakes too because that’s how we learn. I will be here for you through all of it.

I love you always.

No matter what I will love you. Nothing will ever change that. Motherhood is sometimes frustrating. The day to day stuff can be monotonous. I get tired of telling you not to throw your toys or having the same arguments about bedtime every night. I know as time goes on the challenges will change. We will clash at times. Motherhood is the most challenging job I’ve ever had, but it’s worth it. When I hear your laughter or get to watch you grow and learn new things, it makes me so happy. I’m glad you are in my life and wouldn’t change it for anything.

Happy birthday my Rosebud. I am looking forward to many more.

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