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My OneYear Blogging Anniversary

March 19, 2019

A year ago today, I published my first post here on this blog. I hear a lot of people say that they are afraid to start a blog, so they spend months and months planning all the details. They get everything set up first. The website, the social media, they have their theme perfect etc. Not me. I just wrote and when I thought it was good enough, I clicked the publish button. That’s not to say I didn’t give my blog any thought. I did. I struggled to come up with a name. I had created another blog, published one post and decided it wasn’t the direction I wanted to go. I tested out Blogger and WordPress. I did some research about which platform would be best and which hosting company would meet my needs. Eventually I settled on one, but I didn’t have any content planned. I figured I’d write whatever comes to mind. This brings me to the first lesson I learned with the launch of my new blog.

Make a Plan

I knew from the beginning I wanted to monetize my blog, but it sounds silly not to plan ahead when it could potentially become a business. I suppose it’s apart of my self limiting beliefs. Sometimes I wonder who will read my blog? Will anyone care about what I have to say? Then will anyone buy the products I recommend? The only way to know is to try, but there has to be strategy involved. Over the past year, I didn’t make a dime, but I’ve learned to plan ahead. I have a master list of posts, a posting schedule that I stick to as much as possible and am working on strategies for using social media to bring traffic to my blog. I also have a strategy for working on posts. I start with a basic outline or full rough draft depending on how well my writing comes together. Next, I do some editing and then search for pictures. Usually this takes place over multiple days. By the final day, I’m making the final edits, adding tags and finally creating a pin image before publishing. I still write from the heart, but there is now a method to this madness.

Community is Everything

In the blogging world, you need to connect with other bloggers. Facebook groups have become so valuable to me in the past year. If it weren’t for the members of these groups, my blog would get virtually no traffic. Something that I already understood was the importance of commenting on others blogs. This is one way to build a connection. Yes, it leaves a back link to your site, but more importantly you are giving attention to another blogger’s work and often times, they will reciprocate. I love getting comments on my blog. My greatest accomplishments are the comments where readers tell me, “I really needed to read this today.” Making someone feel less alone and or offering support to other moms is the whole reason I created this blog. I like sharing children’s activities, but the posts I love the most are the ones where I share something more meaningful. Something that can connect with other human beings on a deeper level. If I’ve done that, then I’ve succeeded.

Flexibility

When I first created the blog, I was on fire. I had so many ideas. I was posting a lot more. I knew consistency was key, but I ran out of steam quickly. Life got busy and I started feeling guilty if I didn’t post every day or three times per week. Now I’m lucky if I post twice which is my goal, but I’ve learned that one really great post is better than five posts that were thrown together at the last minute. I feel guilty about posting less, but I’ve learned that I need to use my time and energy wisely. I need to spend time with Rosebud. I need to occasionally take a night for self care. Sometimes I just need to step away from the screen and that’s okay. Building a following, monetization and my overall goal of using my blog as apart of my future business is going slower than I would like, but that has to be okay if I don’t want to become totally burnt out.

It’s Hard Work

I knew blogging wasn’t easy, but I had no idea there was so much involved. I spend a lot of time creating content, but you know what takes up just as much time? Promotion on social media. Not only self promotion, but sharing and commenting on other people’s content. Remember I said we needed to build community? Well, making those connections is hard work. You have to keep commenting and keep sharing content so that fellow bloggers will comment on and share yours as well. I never realized how much time it would take to build up a following on social media. These days, most blogs are on multiple platforms which can be a full-time job in itself. I’ve learned that I can’t always be on social media posting every day. Although you need to keep posting to keep your followers engaged, I don’t have enough hours in the day, but I do my best to keep everything up to date.

There’s Still a lot to Learn

Finally, I’ve realized that there’s still so much to learn. I’m starting to explore seo. Pinterest is barely accessible, but I have been working with it over the past month. I will write more about that in a future post, but it’s another platform to get used to. I’ve recently began using Amazon affiliate links again. I have to redo the links in my previous posts, but I will be working hard to create content that make people interested in the products. I still have some things to learn about affiliate marketing. I’m always trying to improve my writing and to generate more ideas. There is always room for improvement, but at the same time, I have to be proud of what I’ve learned so far. I never thought I could set this blog up on my own, but I have. I didn’t know if I’d still be up and running after a year, but here I am.

Here’s to another year of blogging, learning, growing and achieving my blogging goals. what are your blogging goals? What are your biggest accomplishments so far? Tell me in the comments.

13 Comments

Parenting, Preschool, Shopping

Easter Egg Fillers for Preschoolers

March 14, 2019

Last year, we did a small scavenger hunt for Rosebud. She was delighted to find all the eggs and their surprises. We didn’t include any Easter candy last year, but we had included some jewelry which was not a big hit. The only sugary treat was some mini marshmallows, but we tried to keep those to a minimum. It was difficult finding small items for a toddler that fit into standard sized eggs, but this year, Rosebud is a preschooler and there are so many more options. We are also switching up the eggs this year. There will be some standard size, but plenty of the jumbo eggs to make our lives easier.

And now, the egg fillers.

Rubber ducks

These will be great for our sensory tubs. If you are doing a scavenger hunt with lots of kids, this is a great inexpensive option.

Mini bath bombs

I love bath bombs, but never dared to put them in Rosebud’s bath, but now that she is older, I can convince her not to drink the water. She will probably have fun watching and listening to them. I was glad to find a kids version.

Mini markers

Rosebud loves markers and drawing in general. These will fit into the jumbo eggs. I didn’t see a small enough notebook, but a mini notebook would be a wonderful addition to her actual Easter basket.

Stamps

What kid doesn’t love stamps? I found this set on Amazon. I love that they are all different and this will last us a long time.

Flowers

I was looking for things to add to our sensory bins and these are perfect for spring. She loves flowers and they will fit great in the jumbo eggs.

Small animals

I found this set of cats on Amazon. I wasn’t sure which set to get, but she loves cats and I figured they’d be great for pretend play. I want to get the pets and dogs too, but maybe later in the year.

Little people

I’ve been looking for inexpensive little people sets, but haven’t had much luck. When I found the cats, I also found these babies. Rosebud has shown a new interest in playing with baby dolls, so I think she’ll love these. The bonus is they also make great egg fillers.

Growables

Rosebud has never seen these. Most kids enjoy watching them grow. We use them for science in our preschool classes and they’ve always been a hit.

Along with a few of Rosebud’s favorite snacks, that is what she’ll find during this year’s scavenger hunt.

More ideas:

Bouncy balls,

Small cars or trucks,

Small windup toys,

Mini bubbles,

Sidewalk chalk,

Seeds for planting,

Mini plushies,

Rings,

Foam stickers,

Shaped crayons,

Homemade snacks,

Homemade play-dough or silly putty.

Have you found any other unique Easter egg fillers? Tell me in the comments. Be sure to check back for ideas to fill your Easter baskets.

16 Comments

Awareness, Parenting, Self acceptance,

The Same, But Different

March 12, 2019

There are a lot of misconceptions out there and sometimes I get questions about how I do things as a visually impaired parent. I don’t think my life is out of the ordinary, but sometimes I might have to take an extra step or think outside the box to get things done. When the idea to do this post popped into my head, I thought of a couple things immediately, but for others, I really had to think about. Here are five things I do differently as a visually impaired mom.

Reading

This is a big one because it not only involves reading stories to Rosebud, but I have to find alternative ways to read just about everything. Luckily, there have been so many amazing advances in technology since I was a kid and it has opened up the world to me, but generally, I just can’t pick up something and read it. There are several ways I read books to Rosebud. I have the regular books with Braille labels on them. The great thing about these books is that I can read them, but so can anyone else. They have the print as well as the pictures. I’ve found that this is the best way for me to read to her. That being said, the selection of books is somewhat limited and can get expensive. A great selection can be found here at BRL.

I find a lot of great books being read aloud on Youtube. I know it’s not the same as having the paper book, but it’s another way Rosebud can have access to books. There are a few books that we have the print copies of that she can follow along with them being read aloud. Here are a few of her favorites.

If You Give a Mouse a Brownie

The Very Busy Spider

Sneezy the Snowman

Big Pumpkin

Recently, I was told of a program in my area called Books on Wheels. Volunteers from the local library have started bringing children’s books to me twice per month. Although I can’t read these books to Rosebud, we can look at them and other family members can read them to her. I don’t want her to get bored with the books we have and this is another great way for her to get access to a huge variety of books. As she gets older, I plan on introducing her to audio books as well. She loves books and I want her to keep enjoying books throughout her life.

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks

Safety Rules

Since I can’t always see exactly what Rosebud is doing, I take safety very seriously. This is especially the case if we are in public, outside in a play area or walking down the street. If we are walking down the street or walking through a public place, she has to hold my hand with very few exceptions. As she gets older, I’ll give her a little more space, but for now, she has to hold my hand. That way I always know where she is. Sometimes she fights me on this, but it’s for her safety and my peace of mind. If we are out at the playground, she cannot run out of the play space. If she does, I give her one warning and if she doesn’t listen, we immediately go back home. I’ve had to do this a couple of times. It may sound mean, but I don’t want to have to chase her down in places I’m unfamiliar with and what if something happened before I got to her? I’d rather be safe than sorry. As she gets older, she will understand why I have that rule in place, but for now, she probably just thinks I’m a mean mom for five minutes. As she understands more and is able to explain where she wants to go, I’ll probably relax somewhat, but I think I’ll always worry a little extra.

Nursing

You’re probably wondering, what’s so different about that? Well, nothing really. I’ve heard a lot of people say that breast-feeding is such a visual thing and it probably is, but it didn’t work that way for me. Some of the hospital staff were concerned about my ability to breast-feed and at first, I had trouble getting her to latch. Partly because we were both new at it and because I was convinced that it was a visual thing so I wouldn’t be able to do it by feel. Of course, the visual aspect wasn’t working for me, so naturally I had to feel to help her latch. When I let go of the idea that I was doing it wrong, it worked much better. We found a way to make it work for us. As I thought about it more, I wondered how do moms get babies latched by sight in the middle of the night anyway? Do they turn a light on? I doubted it. Who wants to do that when you can role over and get back to sleep.

Measuring

One question I’ve heard before and even wondered myself before I became a parent was, how would I give my child medicine? I have different techniques for measuring medicine. Whether it is for a syringe or cup, I have either the pharmacist or someone else mark the dosage with a black line. I have to keep an eye on this as the line fades after several washings. One way I’ve found that keeps the mark there is to put clear tape over the black line. The little medicine cups work the same way. For those who can’t see at all, they use a tactile marker. I’ve heard of people using puff paints or making an indentation with a knife. Also, here is the thermometer I use.

Since Rosebud was having such trouble with getting enough milk before leaving the hospital, I had to start supplementing with formula. This was not a road I wanted to go down because I did not want to have to worry about measuring the exact amounts of liquid and powder. I didn’t want to be downstairs in the middle of the night making bottles, but for the first couple months of Rosebud’s life, that’s where I was. When I left the hospital, they sent me home with the pre-made 2oz containers of ready made formula. Those were expensive to buy so I bought a larger container of the powder. I’d measure out the water using a 2oz container and then add the scoops of powder. I was lucky I didn’t have to stick with measuring out formula, but I had figured it out and it was definitely an option when I needed it.

Identifying Colors

I have difficulty seeing color so sometimes I use an app called Seeing AI to identify colors. I use it a lot when I’m trying to match Rosebud’s socks. I try to get socks that are all white or that have distinctive patterns that I can easily match. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way so the color identifier comes to my rescue. For the rest of her clothes, I usually memorize or can see the colors, but occasionally if it’s a new outfit, I’ll use the app to tell me the colors. I worried about how I would teach her colors, but she already knows most of them. I’d point out colors of the items I knew, some of the tv shows she watches teach colors and other people would point out colors as well, so I really didn’t need to worry.

I also use apps on my phone to identify items. This was especially helpful with reading baby food jars since the labels are relatively small. I wished I would’ve had these apps when working in the infant room. I’ve also tried to use the app when reading books to Rosebud, but it’s too hard to try to read and repeat anything other than simple board books. Anyway, the app also comes in handy for reading mail, the directions on food packaging and for reading the error notices on my tv or computer screen.

As a parent with a visual impairment, I do the same parenting tasks that other parents do, but sometimes I have to do them in a different way. I think that some people equate doing something differently with inability, but that’s not the case. If we all did everything the same, no one would ever come up with anything new and then how boring would the world be? Where would our world be without any outside the box thinking? Maybe my parenting journey looks a little different than yours, but my end goal is the same. We all want to raise healthy, happy well adjusted children.

2 Comments

Activities, Education, Parenting, Preschool, Sensory Play, Toddlers

Candy Shop

March 9, 2019

This was a left over activity from Valentine’s Day. We used the candy boxes with the chocolate play-dough to make some pretend treats. Here are some of the things we made and the skills we are working on using play-dough.

What’s on the tray:

Chocolate play-dough,

Candy boxes,

Measuring cup and spoons,

Rolling pin,

Play-dough tools

Cookie cutters.

Fine Motor Skills

There is a lot of talk these days about children not getting enough practice developing their fine motor skills. For those who don’t know, fine motor skills is the early childhood education jargon for saying the things you do with your hands. Basically the smaller muscle groups. These are the skills children need for writing, cutting with scissors, tying shoes etc. Gross motor skills use the larger muscles for running, climbing etc. There are many ways for children to practice these skills like stringing beads, using stickers, popping bubblewrap or scooping water or sand. Play-dough is great though because you can role it out, squeeze it, mold it, use tools to cut it and so on. All of those actions strengthen the hands and fingers. Rosebud rolled out circles, hid beads in the play-dough to find and cut it into pieces using the play-dough cutter.

Pretend Play

Another wonderful thing about play-dough is you can turn it into whatever you want it to be. Since we had the candy boxes, we decided to make pretend candy. Some of our candies were circles and squares. We also made cakes and decorated them with the beads. As with other pretend play, it helps expand a child’s imagination and allows them to try out different roles. Pretend play can also help children work out issues they may be having difficulty with. It also helps enhance social skills. We pretended to make cups of hot chocolate. Rosebud grabbed out of my hand, so we worked on sharing and asking for turns. We worked as a team to decorate the cakes.

Math

I asked Rosebud which shape I should make and she suggested I make squares. I’ve used play-dough often to help her with shape recognition. She’s gotten really good at identifying most shapes. Sorting, classifying and identifying shapes are all necessary pre-math skills.

Literacy

On the literacy side, I made some letters and asked if she knew what they were. She has become interested in letters, but cannot name them yet. she has started asking me what they are and what they are for. If we are playing with letters, I’ll point out the letter, tell her its name and a word that it starts with. In this case, I first made her initials and then did a simple abc. This is a fun way to practice some of the pre-reading skills.

The best part is the kids are simply having fun without worrying about what they are learning or haven’t learned yet. What are some of your go to activities with play-dough? Tell me in the comments.

4 Comments

Books, Personal Development, Reviews

Brick By Brick

March 2, 2019

At the beginning of this year, I made a list of books I plan to read in 2019. Take Control of Your Life by Mel Robbins was one of them. It’s still early in the year, but I’m glad I’ve finished it already. There were a lot of helpful tips for managing fear, changing your mindset and paying attention to what’s really going on in our bodies.

When we respond to fear, it’s our bodies that get triggered first. Your stomach may tighten, your face may get hot, some people break out in hives etc. The response is different for everyone, but it’s that discomfort that makes us not want to face our fears and return to normal as soon as possible. This is great in a situation where your safety is at risk and your gut is telling you to get away, but it’s not so helpful when you need to make changes in your life. Even positive change is scary because it takes us out of our comfort zone. There were several coaching sessions in the book, but I will focus on the first coaching session because it resonated with me as it’s where I am in life right now. I will summarize the five takeaways from the session and explain how they work.

Figuring out your Pattern

The workbook opens up with some questions. What is your biggest fear and what is your response to it? One of my biggest fears is being stuck in the same place in life and never figuring out my purpose. I can’t imagine being stuck at my dead end job for another five or ten years. I don’t even want to imagine it for another six months. I have no passion left for it. It sucks the energy right out of me. Part of my fear is that I’ll never find something that I love doing. I’d settle for tolerable at this point. This is why the first coaching session in the book, Take Control of Your Life, really resonated with me. The coaching session was with Dan, a man whose biggest fear is never figuring out what he wants to do in life. He’s currently a teacher, but wants to retire from that and wonders what else is out there for him, but what stops him from exploring other options is his pattern of thinking and rethinking. I am also an over thinker.

When I was exploring the possibility of becoming a transcriptionist, I was thinking of everything and it became overwhelming. I had so many questions floating around and instead of working on one thing at a time, I’d either jump all over the place or never get anything done. I’d worry about which software I was going to use. How I’d track the money I was making, how much money I’d make, what I’d need for my business, how to do an invoice, what would I do for a style guide? I needed to write a business plan and didn’t know which part to work on first. Basically, I had jumped way ahead of myself. Most of this was before even trying to work for a transcription company and in the end, I figured out that I didn’t want to make it my life’s work. I hated the different style guides, the low pay, the inaccessibility of so many things and how it would take me a long time to get back up to a good speed. I’d need to be transcribing constantly to get fast again and the fact was I didn’t have the time or energy to devote to it. It’s been a similar process with my interest in coaching and the possibility of running a childcare business from my home. I’m still interested in these things, but I often try to think about the big picture and analyze every detail. For example, I was listening to a podcast about how to set up a life coaching website, but I haven’t even taken the certification course yet.

In the book, Mel Robbins talks about wanting to own a small town coffee shop for years. Eventually, she got a job working in a small coffee shop on weekends, but she quickly learned that she hated working there. What she loved about the coffee shop was the sense of community and her ability to afford a daily coffee if she wanted. She also enjoyed taking the time to sit down with a cup of coffee and chat with those around her. What I loved about transcription was the flexible schedule, the ability to work from home and the idea that I’d be making content accessible to people. I was more excited about my work environment and the prospect of helping people than actually transcribing documents. These are all things I can find in other jobs that would be a better fit. Sometimes, we end up hating the thing that we think is our passion, but every time we explore a new possibility, we learn something new about ourselves.

Slow Down

If we keep ourselves too busy, we don’t have to think about what scares us. If I’m busy, I don’t have to apply for jobs. I don’t have to think about what I want to do next. I don’t have to financially plan for how I’m going to get there. If I’m busy, I keep things the same. They are comfortable because they are familiar, but they are uncomfortable at the same time because I feel the tension in my body. If we slow down, we can figure out what we really want to do. You can slow down by taking a walk in nature, meditating, spending time with those who support you, write in your journal, take a hot bath etc. Whatever reenergizes you.

State It To Create It

In the coaching session, Dan says, “don’t laugh” before he states his dream out loud. His passion is wine and he’s interested in taking a class or opening a wine bar. I didn’t think it was laughable. It’s his dream. Mel discussed how we under state our dreams or never state them out loud at all for the fear of being judged. What if we never achieve our dreams, what then? We’ve already stated what we want and now others might hold us accountable. We also fear that people may think our dreams are stupid or crazy.

What if you don’t know what your dream is? Follow what you enjoy. What are you interested in? What have you always wanted to do? Well, I’m in that boat. I don’t know exactly what my dream is. I’m interested in coaching, so my first step would be to figure out one thing I can do to explore it. Maybe it’s taking a class. Maybe it’s talking to a coach. Maybe it’s watching youtube videos. Once you start, it leads to something else.

Brick By Brick

Don’t think too big. Break your goals down into achievable steps that you can work on each day. When you have a box of legos, you construct your building brick by brick. That is how to pursue your dreams. If your dream is starting a blog, sit down with a blank document and write. Then when you have a few entries written, then worry about the next steps of setting up the website, promoting on social media etc. My interest is coaching, so I signed up for a couple of free webinars. It’s not a huge step, but it’s exploration and it’s one action I can take so I’m not just spinning my wheels.

Passion is not a Person, Place or Thing.

I needed to hear this. It’s not the job, a big house or the new relationship that brings passion into your life. It’s what you have within. You grow in to your passion by following your Curiosity. If you are wondering about your passion, try answering these questions. What are you curious about? What would you do for free? Whose life are you envious of and why? Follow the energy inside of you. That’s where passion lives.

Summary

To summarize, there were five takeaways from the first coaching session in Take Control of Your Life.

1. What is your biggest fear and what is your response? The first piece is to figure out your patterns.

2. Some of us use being busy to cover up our fears. Slow down. Take the time to listen to your inner voice in order to figure out your next steps.

3. State your dreams out loud in order to create them.

4. Achieve your goals brick by brick. Instead of thinking big, think small. Break actions down into small achievable tasks. If the task seems to overwhelming, break it down further.

5. Remember that passion is inside of you. Follow the things you are curious about. Follow the things that energize you and that will lead you in the right direction.

If you have the opportunity, I encourage you to listen to Take Control of Your Life and download the companion workbook. The questions are thought provoking, the tips are super useful and Mel and her coaching clients explain and demonstrate these concepts in a way that I can’t. Each person has a way of sharing their own personal stories. It’s conversational and relatable, so definitely check it out if you are interested in working on your mindset and breaking through fears. Have you read the book yet? What did you think? Tell me in the comments.

16 Comments

Education, Parenting, Toddlers, Winter

Melting Hearts

February 26, 2019

We did this simple science activity before Valentine’s Day and Rosebud loved it. It kept her occupied for over an hour. What I love about science for young kids is that is so simple and they are learning without even realizing it.

What you need:

Ice cube trays,

Water,

Food coloring,

Small bowls,

Eye droppers

Directions:

1. Make some ice cubes. I used heart shapes, but you can make whatever shape you wish.

I added red food coloring to some of my hearts before freezing them.

2. Next, I took out a few ice cubes once they were frozen and then put them in a small bowl.

3. To help melt the ice cubes, fill another small bowl with water and show your child how to use the eye dropper to transfer the water to the bowl with the ice cubes.

This activity is so simple, but it’s great for science. We talked about melting, warm vs cold, the size of the ice cubes and how the water was changing color. This activity is great for fine motor skills as well. Next time, I will make more colored ice cubes and we can experiment with mixing colors as the ice melts. If you are using larger ice cubes, you can add treasures inside.

What are your favorite simple science activities for kids? Tell me in the comments.

2 Comments

Awareness, Pets, Safety

I Miss You, My Marshmallow

February 20, 2019

For those who don’t know, I have two cats. While I don’t usually write about my pets on this blog, I want to share this personal story. This information needs to be out there. People need to understand the risk of rabies shots. This is not to scare people, but certain cats should not have these vaccines. If your cat is older, has a compromised immune system or is a ragdoll, you should know about this. After this journey, I will never look at veterinary medicine again without a layer of skepticism. I know there are good vets out there. Some things can not be predicted and most vets care a great deal about their patients. I have come across several who have cared for Diamond and Mellow as their own over the years. That being said, I will always be much more careful now.

Disclaimer: This story is about death and may be a trigger for some people.

The Cats

I have two ragdoll cats. Diamond is 12. she’s nothing short of a princess. She’s a little snobby, but is loyal and sweet to those she cares about. She comes when you call her name. She loves things that crinkle, chasing string and naps in the sun. Mellow is 10. He loves to be patted, has a motor boat purr and also enjoys naps in the sun. He loves chasing feathers and will even play fetch if you have the right ball.

Mellow’s End Of Life Story

I can’t believe I’m writing this. Even though I’ve had to say it several times today, I’m still in shock. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. My Marshmallow is gone. Last Thursday morning, he was a happy and relatively healthy cat and by Thursday afternoon after a routine trip to the vet’s office, that all changed. He had his routine vaccinations. Rabies and Distemper. Everything always went fine before. There were never any issues or reactions. I had always assumed that they were no big deal. Just something that animals had to get to stay safe and healthy. So like any good pet owner, I agreed to get his shots done, but there’s one thing that I missed.

Diagnosis Unknown

Last year, Mellow was diagnosed with an unknown auto immune disorder. There are several options, but none of the doctors could narrow it down. Stomatitis was one possibility, but according to a couple different vets, he didn’t have the right kind of markings inside his mouth. Feline herpes was another likely option as Diamond has this. Her symptoms are all in her eyes, but they can also manifest in the mouth. Mellow never responded to the normal treatments that help feline herpes symptoms. There were other rarer diseases, but nothing was ever established. What I do know is the disorder had something to do with the proteins in his body and he was put on a low protein diet. What ever the case was, he had a compromised immune system.

Questioning the Rabies Vaccine

During my research over the weekend, I found sources that said in many cases, cats shouldn’t be given the rabies vaccine if they are over ten years of age or have compromised immune systems. I also discovered that in the case of ragdolls, they recommend only giving one shot at a time and some breeders advise against the three-year rabies shot. Mellow fits all this criteria, so why was there no red flag on his records? Why are these vets not digging into the files? Why do they not know of the risks or at least share these risks with pet owners? I understand that Google is not necessarily a reliable medical reference, but I read so many stories about people’s cats dying after getting the rabies shot. People need to hear about this! One source has a list of possible side effects, but the most disturbing thing is the comments. There are so many people who have had experiences like mine.

The Prognosis

On the way home Tuesday, he started vomiting. At first, I thought it was motion sickness, but when he continued to do it at home, I knew it was something worse. Friday came and went and he was still not better by Saturday morning, so I took him back to the vet. They gave him some fluids and Antinausea medication. They said his blood work was normal and that he’d probably be fine in a couple of days. They gave me some free cans of food and said they’d be surprised if he didn’t eat that. I brought him home and the day dragged on. On Sunday, things appeared to be worse. He had stopped using the litter box and seemed weaker, so I started giving him water through a syringe almost every hour. That evening, he seemed to perk up. He started moving around more, drinking on his own and was purring again. He was no longer hiding and kept sniffing at his food, but wasn’t ready to eat yet which was still very concerning because not eating for days can be dangerous for cats. When he wanted to go up or downstairs, he’d meow and I would help him. He was still having difficulty climbing or walking longer distances. On Monday, I felt hopeful that he would pull through. The vet wasn’t open over the holiday, so I had talked with another vet over the phone. I described everything that was going on and she said that it sounded like he had turned the corner. Throughout the day, he still was quiet, but would purr when we talked to or pat him. He continued to drink on his own and didn’t mind laying out in the open. He seemed more comfortable than before. He still hadn’t eaten which worried me, but I figured he’d start eating that evening. He seemed well enough to pull through and I’d be taking him back to the vet on Tuesday to be checked. I planned on taking him first thing in the morning.

The End

Before I went to bed, I brought him upstairs with me. He settled near my bed and I fell asleep. A couple hours later, I heard him cry out in pain, but I wasn’t sure where he went so I checked the bathroom. He followed me there and basically fell over on the floor. Then I noticed that his breathing was rapid and loud. My heart dropped and I just knew everything had gone too far. I sat in there with him for about an hour while I waited for my mom. I didn’t want to do this alone and she was my only way of getting to the emergency clinic. I was prepared to take him there.

I was screwed though. She has bad eyesight for driving at night. The emergency clinic is not close and it had just snowed, so the back roads we’d have to take to get there wouldn’t be cleared. We’d have to take Rosebud there with us as well. I also wasn’t sure how well Mellow would’ve handled the long drive. Would he have made it? We’ll never know now, but if I could do it over, I would have brought him there. Even if all they could do is end his suffering because what I saw over the next few hours was gut wrenching.

It was wrong from start to finish. I brought him downstairs and kept him close to his water bowl and litter box. He’d try drinking from time to time, but other than that, I could not keep him comfortable. Every time he’d move, he’d cry out in pain. Eventually things got so bad that we brought him to the kitchen. He was losing fluids and didn’t realize it so at least in there, it was easier to clean up after him. There are little soft rugs in there that he could lay on, but he preferred to lay on the floor. I stayed with him for a while, but watching him was getting to be too much. All I kept saying was I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That was all that was running through my head because this was all so unnecessary. I told him he was a good boy and tried to pat him, but it made him more uncomfortable. All I could do was watch as he screamed and paced the kitchen in unbearable pain. Eventually it became as if he was stocking me around the kitchen. He looked liked he was going crazy and I wasn’t sure if he was going to become aggressive. In reality, he probably wouldn’t have, but it was scaring me. I didn’t want things to end like that, so I left the kitchen for a couple minutes while I sobbed. Diamond went and sat by the door, but soon heard screams that sent her hiding behind the couch.

I was disgusted with myself for leaving him alone. I was a chicken shit who could’ve even handle witnessing my cat’s death. My mom went back into the kitchen to check on him so he wouldn’t be alone. I heard a few more loud meows and then a meow with a gasping breath and then he was gone. I sat with him. Patting him and telling him how sorry I was and what a good boy he had always been. She said he was dead, but I could swear I felt him moving ever so slightly. I hope he heard me and understood how much I loved him. Eventually the movement stopped and after a while we wrapped him up and put him into his carrier. I regret that his end was not peaceful. He wasn’t warm snug in his comfy cat bed. I wasn’t able to hold and comfort him like I wanted to.

The What Ifs

It was over. While I was relieved he was no longer suffering, I felt like a failure. I went over and over everything I should or shouldn’t have done. If I had changed his checkup date or have taken him separately from Diamond. Maybe we would’ve had a different doctor. Maybe someone else would have taken a better look at his records. Maybe that person would’ve been more knowledgable. I should’ve taken him to the clinic. I should’ve gone sooner. Maybe someone could’ve saved him. The fact is that if he hadn’t gotten that rabies shot, he’d still be alive today. If I wasn’t such a horrible cat parent, I would’ve done something sooner or differently. I would’ve or should’ve known. Is knowing all this medical information my responsibility or the doctors? I’ll never know if just changing one action could’ve saved him. I’ll probably torture myself with this forever and his screams will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Memories

I have wonderful memories. Mellow and I playing fetch with his favorite ball. Mellow and Diamond chasing each other around. Mellow meowing at me as if we are having a conversation. I will never again be able to touch his soft fluffy fur. I will never again hear his funny meows. At least not live and in person. I have some things recorded, but that will never be enough. I will never be able to hug him again. He used to annoy me by waking me up at night with his nonstop meowing. If only he could wake me up one more time. I didn’t get to see Mellow’s kittenhood. He spent it with his breeder who was going out of business. By the time I found him, he was being sold at a lower price because he as a year old. We’d often joke that we found him on sale. He was a bargain. He might have been half price, but he would’ve been worth every penny anyway. He was always there for me. He sat on my lap during one of the most life changing and heartbreaking conversations I’ve ever had. Thank you Mellow for never leaving my side.

I haven’t been able to spend as much time with the cats since Rosebud was born, but I have Diamond still with me and I’ll never take it for granted again. The people and animals you love can be gone in the blink of an eye. Rosebud loves Mellow and often tells me that he’s her cat and Diamond is mine. I have pictures and videos of them playing together that I will treasure forever. She might not remember Mellow, but I always will. We named him marshmallow because he’s so fluffy and white. He’s sensitive so we called him squishy like a marshmallow. At the same time he’s extremely calm and mellow, so it became Mellow for short. Diamond and Rosebud and I all love and miss you. You were our special sweet boy. Our Mellow the Marshmallow. Rest in peace. October 22, 2008 to February 19, 2019.

15 Comments

Memories, Parenting

What Valentine’s Day is Really About

February 14, 2019

This morning, I made a video with Rosebud and shared it with friends. It was basically a video message from her telling everyone, happy Valentine’s day while playing with her build a bouquet play set.
 
During the video, I mentioned something about how on Valentine’s Day, you give cards and gifts to people you love. I told Rosebud that I gave her the flower set because I love her. I didn’t go into too much detail other than that, but after I posted the video, I felt guilty. I wondered if people would be judging me because I told her That Valentine’s Day was for giving cards and gifts. Would people think I’m materialistic? Yes, I’m an over thinker.

Then I thought that the more abstract ideas about Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be something that a three-year-old would understand anyway. For her, Valentine’s Day may be about gifts and cards because they are tangible, but as she gets older, I want her to understand that Valentine’s Day is about more than that. You might get cards and gifts for people you love, but the more important part is spending time with them. It’s about having fun, laughing, making memories together and showing them you care. I want her to know that you don’t need a commercialized day to do those things. They should be done every day.

I spent the majority of my day at work, but Rosebud spent it with family playing with her gifts, eating candy and having fun. When I was finally done with work, Little Guy and his mom came over to spend time with Rosebud and I. He had a Valentine for her. There was a goody bag with a crayon heart, a couple heart shaped lights and a flower. They were making quite a light show. His mom joked that it looked like a rave party. I ordered pizza and his mom brought a bottle of wine. Little Guy was too excited to settle down to eat, but he and Rosebud played. They laughed, chased each other around and argued over toys as only toddlers and preschoolers do, but in the end, they enjoy each other’s company. His mom and I talked, had a few laughs and enjoyed our pizza and wine.

Isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is about? Spending time with people you care about. It may be a day for couples, but if you are not in a relationship, you have to find a way to make it fun and that’s what I did. It’s too easy to get caught up in all that commercialization. I also think that when you have kids, holidays take on a whole new meaning. I am grateful that I spent the best parts of today with Rosebud and my new friends. Thank you for making today fun and memorable and for the reminder of what Valentine’s Day is really about.

5 Comments

Activities, Education, Preschool, Sensory Play, Toddlers

Hot Coco Play-dough

February 13, 2019

I found this chocolate play-dough recipe several years ago and it smells good enough to eat. When you cook it, it smells so much like brownies. I’ve never tried eating it, but I’m guessing it doesn’t taste as good as it smells. Anyway, I love using this play-dough for a Valentine’s Day or hot coco theme.

Ingredients

1 1/4 cups flour,
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup salt,
1/2 Tablespoon cream of Tartar,
1/2 Tablespoon oil,
1 1/2 cups water,
A couple drops of glycerin for shine.

Directions

1. Mix dry ingredients in a medium size saucepan.
2. Add wet ingredients and stir together over low heat until a ball of dough forms.
3. Remove play dough from the saucepan and knead by hand until dough is smooth and evenly colored. You’ll want to add the drops of glycerin at this stage. If you are kneading and find the play-dough is still too wet, add a little flour.

Store in an airtight container.

Rosebud loved this play-dough. She kept saying how yummy it smelled and she said it was very squishy. We made cups of coco with marshmallows. I used white beads.

We made cakes and brownies.

I made chocolate covered strawberries and chocolate roses that were quickly squished. I made objects for Rosebud to guess, even this silly shoe.

What are your favorite play-dough recipes? Tell me in the comments.

6 Comments

Memories, Parenting, Preschool, Toddlers, Winter

Are Our Children Missing Something?

February 8, 2019

It has been a long winter and these past couple of days have been especially horrible at work. One bright spot has been the weather. It’s finally warmed up a bit and not feeling so much like the arctic. Normally, the last thing I want to do when I get home is to go outside and freeze. I get my fill of that in the mornings as my classes almost always go outside no matter how cold it is. All I want to do is sit in my favorite chair and zone out, but I don’t do that. Most days, I play with Rosebud as soon as I get home. She waits for me all day and she usually gets things set up so that we can play as soon as we walk through the door. Some days, she’ll have a picnic set up or she’ll create a pretend bakery.

Now that the sun is out later and we had a taste of spring, she asked to go play in the back yard. When we got out there, we started testing the snow to see what we could make. We have one of those plastic molds that makes bricks out of snow. We only managed to make one brick that stayed together. The others fell apart. It could’ve been good snowman making snow, but it was too warm for it to stay together. We couldn’t make a decent snowman, but we could make some fantastic snowballs. Even though most of them melted quickly, they were perfect for throwing. Rosebud picked one up and threw it at me. Then it was on! We threw snowballs back and forth and just kept laughing. We had so much fun.

It reminded me of my childhood. Back then, we used to get a lot more snow than we do now and we’d spend hours out there. I remember helping my mom shovel snow and thinking how fun it was. Of course, now it’s not so fun. I remember making huge snowballs with my classmates. We’d just make gigantic snowballs to push around, just seeing how big we could make them. We made tall snowmen, experimented with spraying the snow with colored water, taking sleds down a huge hill on the school’s playground. I remember making a snow fort at the baby sitter’s house. We wanted to make it really strong because the kids who lived next door decided that they’d throw snowballs at our fort. I think we were going to throw some at their’s too, but we thought we were so clever when we got some water and started making ice as the top coat of our fort.

We didn’t care if they came with snowballs because we were busy seeing how strong we could make our fort.

I’d often go down to the pond with those same kids and pretend to ice skate. There were holes all over the pond and it definitely wasn’t the safest thing to be doing, but back then, kids were allowed to take risks. Maybe more than we should have, but we learned to be careful. We knew what our limits were. We learned through trial and error. We learned how to share, make our own rules and most of all, we learned to look out for each other.

Every day, I’m constantly telling kids about how this isn’t safe and that isn’t safe. We tell them not to climb the slide, stay out of puddles, don’t play on the ice, don’t throw snowballs and on and on. It gets old. I start to wonder what came first. Do we tell them not to do these things because they show us they don’t know how to be safe or are we just assuming it before giving them the opportunity to learn? We tell them not to throw snowballs, but why exactly? It seems as though that it’s just one of those childhood memories we all have. At least those of us who grow up in winter climates.

With some of the kids, I’ll tell them to stop because they always take it too far. If they throw snowballs, they go for the other kid’s face. If they play on the ice, they pick up a piece and throw it. Is it because we’ve hovered too much that they have to push the envelope even farther or does it come down to the fact that they don’t know how to play and interact with other kids? Is all this hovering crushing their spirits? Can we step back a little or is all of this necessary? My guess is the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

When Rosebud and I played outside, I thought of my own childhood and I wanted her to have some of those same memories. I want her to remember happy times even if they were just playing with mommy instead of the neighborhood kids. I let her throw snowballs and threw some back. I let her see if she could climb her slide with her boots on. She discovered that it was slippery, but if she held on tight and paid close attention, she could still get to the top safely. She discovered that she shouldn’t run on the ice or she might fall. I pulled her around the yard in her sled and her laughter was contagious. The hint of spring with the warm sun on my back and seeing Rosebud’s pure joy was the perfect ending to my day.

Recently, this brilliant article called,The Most Overlooked Reason Why Your Kids Won’t Listen, Focus or Sit Still came across my newsfeed. It discusses the consequences of children not having the opportunity to take risks and not getting enough time outdoors. It’s worth reading. What are your thoughts? Are our children missing out?

8 Comments