motherhood

Valentines Day Gift Guide for Infants and Toddlers

Valentines Day Gift Guide for Infants and Toddlers

Valentines day will be here before you know it. The holiday is so commercialized, but for me it’s about spending quality time with those I love. I try to do that anyway during the rest of the year. When I was a kid, my mom would always buy me a little Valentines gift and I have been doing the same thing with Rosebud. If you are wondering what to get your little Valentine, here are some ideas.

Where’s Baby’s Valentine book

Valentines Day Themed Books

Books make great gifts. There are so many options, they are educational and they are relatively inexpensive.


If you are looking for more Valentines books for kids, check out this post.

Heart shaped stacking cups

Heart Shaped Stacking Cups

Stacking cups are simple, inexpensive and babies love them! They can scoop, they can pour and they can stack. These cups have little holes on the bottom. Rosebud would use these in the pool and pretend it was raining. These even have numbers inside if you wanted to do a counting activity. We’ve had these for a couple years and she still uses them in the water.

Valentines rubber duckies

Rubber Duckies

How about these Valentine themed rubber duckies. There used to be this cool online shop called Rubber Duck Land that no longer exists. That’s where I found these cute little duckies, but I have found something similar to link to. It’s just a cute little novelty.

Hershey KISS bear

Stuffed animal

I’ve gotten a lot of Valentines stuffed animals over the years, but you don’t even have to stick to a Valentine theme for this one. Anything soft, cute and cuddly will do.


First Valentines Day Play Set

These are cute during the first year. I bought Rosebud the birthday play set and she loved it. They have these for most of the holidays. They are little soft toys with different textures to touch, colors to see and sounds to hear. They make great keepsakes as well.

Bouquet of roses

Flowers

This flower toy from Green toys is a neat idea. It’s flowers. It’s spring. It’s educational and Green Toys is a company that makes all their toys from recycled milk cartons. Rosebud has a dump truck made by Green Toys and she likes it. Their toys are sturdy and well made. I’d recommend this toy for older toddlers.

Father and son making Valentines gift for mom

Homemade Gifts

More often than not, the best gifts are free. If you are the creative type, take out the craft supplies and create a beautiful card or a meaningful keepsake that will be saved and treasured later. You can work together with your kids to make Valentines for loved ones. If you are looking for something that your kids can give to others, try these salt dough keepsakes.

Mother and daughter

Quality Time

The number one gift is quality time. Just be in the moment with your kids. Whether it be playing outside, reading a book or curled up on the couch watching a movie, take the time. They will treasure it more than any physical gift just as we would. The memories together is what they will remember.

If you are looking for some fun Valentines Day Activities, head over to Fab Working Mom Life.

If you are searching for a gift idea for oder children, check out these Love Buckets for Valentines Day

Valentines Day Gift Guide for Infants and Toddlers

13 Comments

Happy New Year, 2019!

I’ve been meaning to do a series of posts leading up to 2019, but I’ve been so busy with the holidays and watching Little Guy that I’ve had no energy left at the end of the day. I want to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Actually, I want to sleep long before that. Usually it starts as soon as I hear Rosebud talking to herself in the morning since she refuses to sleep in, even if she goes to bed late. She has also given up naps for the most part, so she’s been exhausted lately. Although I love blogging, I haven’t had it in me. I’m hoping to get back on track in the new year.

A perplexed cat stuck, tangled up in a ball of yarn

I was one of those people last year who decided to have a word as a theme to 2018. Well, my word was change and 2018 turned out to be the complete opposite. If I were to sum up 2018 into one word, it would be stuck. I felt like I was in a maze, going down one path only to realize it led back to where I started. At the end of 2017, I was able to come up with a long list of wonderful things that happened that year. I reconnected with some great people I had lost touch with, I took pottery classes, I was able to make big improvements on my home and Rosebud grew so much and met so many milestones.

This year was hard. The cats were sick a lot. Most of my coworkers retired, moved away or quit because they couldn’t take it anymore. Since then, it has been a revolving door of new faces. I’m usually anxious about meeting new people, so this has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. On one hand, I think it will be exciting to meet new people because maybe, just maybe, it will be someone I can connect with. Then I usually end up disappointed because we don’t share the same interests, our personalities aren’t compatible or there’s just nothing there. this goes for coworkers, friendships or relationships. My exploration of transcription fell through and I decided it wasn’t for me. Coaching is still an option, but I will have to take out a loan to cover the cost of training, so this will have to wait. Maybe I can start this year depending on how things go. I missed out on pottery classes because they fill so quickly and I didn’t find other classes that interested me. The improvements I made to my home were minimal, but on the flip side, I’m lucky that there aren’t urgent things that need fixing.

Little girl reading book

For the positive, Rosebud has become quite a conversationalist. She always has something adorable to say. Her latest thing is reading to me. I love hearing her try to retell a story or make up her own. The other positive thing was meeting Little Guy at work. We clicked since day one and now I have connected with his family. I’ve watched him a lot this month which not only has allowed me to make some extra money, but has given me a great trial run in childcare from home. I have to say that it has been going great except for yesterday. I woke up in a bad mood, Rosebud was crabby and Little Guy was tired and his family is in the middle of moving to a new house. He was not acting like himself for most of the morning, so it was a difficult day all around. We will all have those days though no matter where we are or what we are doing.

2019 New Years Resolutions written in a notebook with cup of coffee

Here are my goals and hopes for the new year.

  1. To finalize a career plan. Do I want to have my own business and what will I be doing? I will be taking a training this month on home childcare since I’m leaning towards watching a couple kids from home. My long term plan would be to continue being a childcare provider for the next couple of years. Meanwhile, I could start building up a coaching business.
  2. Take a class for fun. It could be pottery or something else.
  3. Get back to a regular exercise routine. I’ve been slacking lately!
  4. Journal regularly. I know I’ll look back on this time later and regret that I haven’t kept up with it. I want to keep the memories of Rosebud while she is little.
  5. Turn one room in my house into a play room.
  6. Get Rosebud potty trained. This has been a hard and frustrating thing we’ve been working on.
  7. Let go of things I don’t need. Whether they be objects or self limiting beliefs.
  8. Read at least 20 books. This should not be hard with my Audible subscription.
  9. Take one night per week for self care.
  10. Post on the blog on a regular schedule. Over the past few months, I’ve figured out that Tuesdays and Fridays work best for me.

Happy New Year 2019

Well, I’ll be busy this year, but I’m excited to get started. If I do something each day to reach my goals, I’ll get there eventually, but I know I have to start by breaking it down into achievable steps. I won’t be choosing a word or making new years resolutions, but I will be progressing towards long-term goals. At the end of the day, I know I need to get back to basics. Spending quality time with Rosebud, maintaining a healthy mind and body and focusing on writing and creating because those things make me the happiest. Even if I don’t have a play room by next January or if I. Miss out on pottery classes once again, I know there are still things to be grateful for. I could dwell on everything I didn’t accomplish from last year, but why? Maybe I won’t accomplish everything I set out to do this year and that’ll be okay. What are your goals and hopes for 2019? Will you be working on setting goals with your kids? Introducing Smart Goals is a great way to start! What keeps you motivated? Let me know in the comments.

2 Comments

Happy Birthday to my Rosebud

Rosebud has the same great luck that I do. We share a December birthday. Just like everyone else I’ve ever known with a December birthday, we all complain about how close it is to Christmas. How we never really have a birthday. How no one shows up for winter birthday parties because they are busy with holiday stuff. How our families take shortcuts and just give us a gift they bought us for Christmas instead. How we wish our birthday was on any other month. At least Rosebud and I can commiserate together as she grows up. When she’s older, I imagine a girls day out because we’ll have to make our day special. there’s no one I’d rather share a birthday with.

Mother and daughter celebrating birthday

Every year, I buy her a birthday card, put a little note in and ceil it. I usually include some highlights from that year and tell her how much I love her and how proud I am. I was thinking that there are lots of things I want her to know as she grows up and here are some of them.

You’re beautiful no matter what you wear.

Whether you are wearing a jeans and t-shirt or are dressed like a princess, you’re still beautiful. You’re not only pretty on the outside, but an amazing person on the inside. You are kind. You ask me if I’m okay if you think I’m sad. You always check on me if you think I hurt myself. You’re the sweetest person I know. You tell me I’m a good cook, that I’m a good mommy and you tell me you love me every day. The other day, you said that you are perfect the way you are and it warmed my heart. Please don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Little girl pulling moon

Never settle.

The point of life is not how much money you can make and always having top of the line material things. It’s really about being happy both with who you are and what kind of life you have. It is important to make goals and strive for them. Don’t let anyone take you away from the path you are supposed to be on. If something or someone doesn’t make you happy, don’t be afraid to walk away. It will be hard to do this at times, but if something is bringing you down and crushing your spirit, you can’t stay. I’ll always be here to support you. Don’t be afraid to dream big even if it takes a long time to make those dreams come true.

Trust yourself.

I already told you not to settle, but if something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. You can change your mind and you can definitely say no. Sometimes in life you will have to do things that you don’t want to do, but there is a difference in doing hard things because you have to do them and being forced into doing something that doesn’t feel right to you. If a person is not respecting your physical space, find a way to get away from them and out of that situation. Same goes for people who aren’t respecting your time or values. You don’t have to put up with anyone hurting you or bringing you down.

Always keep a piece of yourself

One day if you decide to get married or become a mom, you may feel like the old you is missing. You may be devoting all your time and energy to your family. You might feel depleted and like you have nothing else to give. That’s why it’s important to always take time for yourself. Even if it’s only a few minutes a day. I want to expose you to a variety of things throughout the years so that you can find what interests you, but you can also find these things later as an adult. Read, write, socialize, spend some time alone with your thoughts, enjoy the beauty of nature, find a hobby or just take some time to care for yourself. You have to find something that is just yours to enjoy.

Everyone makes mistakes.

I want you to know that everyone makes mistakes. Really big ones sometimes. We are all human and it happens. What counts is what we learn from our mistakes and what we do differently if there is a next time. I’ve made mistakes and will probably continue making them. It’s apart of life, but I want you to know that I’m doing my best for you. I know you will make mistakes too because that’s how we learn. I will be here for you through all of it.

Mother and daughter exchanging giftsI love you always.

No matter what I will love you. Nothing will ever change that. Motherhood is sometimes frustrating. The day to day stuff can be monotonous. I get tired of telling you not to throw your toys or having the same arguments about bedtime every night. I know as time goes on the challenges will change. We will clash at times. Motherhood is the most challenging job I’ve ever had, but it’s worth it. When I hear your laughter or get to watch you grow and learn new things, it makes me so happy. I’m glad you are in my life and wouldn’t change it for anything.

Happy birthday my Rosebud. I am looking forward to many more.

0 comments

A Forgotten Safety Check

I was busy at work last week when my phone rang. I almost always let it go to voicemail, but it was my mom calling. If she calls me at work, there’s usually something wrong so I answered. I could hear this loud beeping in the background. It sounded like the smoke detecter. She asks me if I know what the noise is. When I tell her it sounds like the smoke detector, she says that she’s already checked the two smoke detectors and taken the batteries out so it can’t be them.

Concerned woman looking at cell phone.

Then I ask the next logical question I can think of. Did you cook anything? Is anything burning? She tells me no. That she’s looked everywhere, doesn’t smell a burning smell and hasn’t cooked anything. Next, I mention the carbon monoxide detector since it’s the only thing I can think of that makes a similar sound. She tells me she’s unplugged it too and it’s not that.

Then she starts to wonder if there’s something wrong with the heater and turns the thermostat up to see if it makes any unusual noise when it turns on. Of course, it doesn’t. At this point, I’m worried and am getting annoyed because I can’t help and there’s literally nothing I can do.

I tell her I can’t help her and insist that she call the fire department. Honestly, she should’ve done that first. Now that we’ve hung up, I’m trying to put kids to sleep while worrying about what’s happening at my house. I live in a duplex so I’m wondering if there’s smoke or fire on the other side. Is there carbon monoxide after all? Since you can’t smell it, you won’t know until you start feeling the effects. If it’s not any of the detectors, then what the hell is it?

Children playing in fire truck learning about fire safety

After waiting and worrying for about ten or fifteen minutes, she calls me back with the news that she called the fire department and waited outside for them to show up. They put on their gear and came in the house to find that it was in fact the carbon monoxide detector. She said that she unplugged it, but that she didn’t realize it had batteries in it. When she unplugged it and still heard the noise, she assumed that the noise was coming from something else. The firefighters checked all the levels and determined that everything was safe.

The carbon monoxide detector was going crazy because it had stopped working. I had no idea when it was originally bought since it was here when I moved in. If my mom had figured that out and had just removed the batteries, we wouldn’t have realized it was no longer effective. We would have just plugged it back in and figured the batteries were dead, but by calling the fire department, we avoided something that could’ve been tragic. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

The firefighters gave us recommendations and I thought of some reminders that I’d like to pass on.

A man replacing the batteries in a smoke detector for home safety

  • 1. Change smoke and carbon monoxide detector batteries every six months,
  • 2. Replace carbon monoxide detectors every five years,
  • 3. When in doubt, if you think something’s wrong, don’t be afraid to call them. That’s what they’re there for. They not only put out fires, but they inspect homes for safety and educate people too.
  • 4. I’d like to add that if you are unsure when your carbon monoxide detector was installed, it’s better to replace it than to guess. this is something I should’ve done.
  • 5. The life expectancy of smoke detectors is ten years so they should be replaced as well.
  • 6. Read the manual when you get a new detector. It will tell you what the different lights and sounds mean. This way you will know if it is no longer effective.
  • 7. This is another thing I’d like to add. Make sure your heating system is cleaned regularly. I usually have my furnace cleaned every one to two years. This is just to ensure that it’s clean and running safely and smoothly.

A cute dalmatian puppy surrounded by flowersThe two particular firefighters who came to my house were kind to Rosebud. She was fascinated by the truck and the gear. They said she could drop by the fire station any time if she wanted to check things out. Rosebud thought that meant right then and there and started to walk towards their truck. It was more of an adventure to her than a scare, so thank you for being kind and taking the time to talk to her. Thank you for keeping us safe. I could never do your job. It takes a certain amount of bravery to enter a burning building and to put your lives on the line. Thank you.

To show the firefighters in your life that you appreciate them, take a look at this list of 17 useful Christmas gift ideas for firefighters.

Are there any safety checks you do in your home that may get overlooked? Let me know in the comments.

4 Comments

Five Interactive Winter Books for Toddlers

As I’ve written about before, Rosebud and I love to read. I often buy her new books based on the season and or if there’s a holiday coming up. For the spring, I get out her books about birds, plants and baby animals. In the fall, we read books about pumpkins, leaves and of course Halloween. The winter is no exception. The books we are reading right now are related to snow, Christmas and her birthday coming around the corner.5 Interactive Winter Books for Toddlers

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I’m visually impaired so I don’t see the pictures very well. In children’s books, one could argue that the pictures are the most important thing. Well, they are to the child at least. Since I can’t see all the little details, I love to find books that are more interactive. Not only does it help me, but these extra elements make reading more fun for the children. Here are some great interactive winter books I’ve found along the way.

That’s Not My Snowman book cover

1.

That’s Not My Snowman by Fiona Watt.

This book shows a snowman on each page with a different tactile element. the mittens are too fuzzy or the buttons are too bumpy. The book is short, but it’s great for infants and toddlers. Rosebud still loves this book.

Peek-A-Boo Christmas book cover

2.

PeekaBoo Christmas!: Touch-and-Feel and Lift-the-Flap by DK Publishing.

This book is large, sturdy and has illustrations that are shiny and colorful. Some of the pages include touch and feel elements like the pompom on the hat or the ornaments on the tree. Kids love to lift the flap to see what’s inside. Rosebud has always loved the different peekaboo books and this one did not disappoint her.

Just a Snowy Day book cover

3.

Little Critter: Just a Snowy Day by Mercer Mayer.

I bought this book many years ago to read to the kids I was working with at the time. Now I get to share it with Rosebud. I love all the interactive elements in this book. You get to spin a wheel to make it snow, smell a cup of hot chocolate and pull Little Critter’s sled. My only complaint about this book is that the pull tabs can be easily broken. This book has always been a hit with any of the children I’ve read it to. The book is now out of print, but you can still find it on Amazon.

The Gingerbread Family book cover

4.

The Gingerbread Family: A Scratch-and-Sniff Book by Grace Maccarone.

This story is of a day in the life of a gingerbread family. There is a scratch and sniff sticker on each page. The scents aren’t very strong, but the story is cute. When I was a kid, I never had books like these. I always loved scratch and sniff stickers and am glad I’ve been finding these cool books for Rosebud. She loves the pictures in this book as everything is made up of candy. We like to see which candy we can pick out. When she asks for this book, she says, “Let’s read about cookies.”


The Sweet Smell of Christmas book cover

5.

The Sweet Smell of Christmas (Scented Story Book) by Patricia M. Scarry.

Many people seem to remember this book from their childhood. I do not and I have not read it to Rosebud yet. It will be a stocking stuffer for her this year. This book is filled with scratch and sniff stickers and I know Rosebud will be excited to read this one.

5 Interactive Winter Books for Toddlers

What are your favorite winter and holiday books? Let me know in the comments.

7 Comments

15Things I’m Thankful For

I wanted to do a gratitude series of posts in November, but this month seems to be running away from me. It’s already half over. To get into the spirit of Thanksgiving, here’s a list of some of the things I am grateful for. Not just for this season, but all year.A coffee cup next to a napkin with text, what am I thankful for?

1. This blog

I’ve found another creative outlet and I’ve had fun expanding my knowledge of blogging. I’m thankful that you are reading my blog. You could be reading any of the millions of articles online, but you’ve come here and I appreciate that.

2. My ability to write

Speaking of the blog, it wouldn’t be in existence without my ability to write. I’m grateful for the people who have encouraged me to write over the years. Mrs. Galle and Mr. Fisher in particular. Writing not only lets me reach out to so many people through this blog, but it helps me through difficult times.

3. Books

I never thought I’d like reading. When I was a kid, I hated it and if you told me I’d love books as an adult, I’d have laughed in your face. It was mostly because reading was slow for me and I didn’t have the same books as the other kids. When I found Audible and the Kindle app, a whole new world opened up to me. Now I always am reading a book or two.

A Mac book next to an iPhone, showing technology concept.

4. Today’s technology

Although many people see today’s technology as a curse, I see it as a blessing. I don’t know where I’d be without all this technology. I was able to complete an entire masters degree online and now my goal is to have a business working from home. None of that would’ve even been possible when I was a kid. When cell phones first became popular, there was so much of it that was inaccessible to me because of my visual impairment. If you told me when I was younger that I’d be using the exact same technology as my peers and would be able to access the same information in real time, I wouldn’t have believed it. Don’t get me wrong, there is still a long way to go when it comes to accessibility. New accessibility bugs pop up with every software or app update, but we have come a long way.

Ceramic bowl made from clay.5. Clay

I love being creative and making something functional and or beautiful. You can pick up a ball of clay and there are endless possibilities. With imagination and some skill, you can make something amazing. I’m hoping to take another pottery class this winter.

6. Cooking

I’ve tried lots of new recipes this year. I love experimenting in the kitchen and finding a new favorite recipe.

7. My home

I’m so thankful that I have a wonderful home where my daughter can grow up. At least for the next few years. It’s cozy as Rosebud says. I’ve been able to make lots of improvements to it as well, getting it closer to my dream home. I am so fortunate to have a nice warm place to live and try to remember that every day.

A rocky beach8. Nature

I love finding the sunny spot on a cold day, looking at the clouds and taking walks to get fresh air and to just listen to the birds. The beach is my happy place and I even love rainy days.

9. Family

Although we have our issues, they’ve always been there for me when times have gotten really tough.

My cats

10. My cats

They’ve been with me for a long time. Even though I haven’t been able to spend as much time with them and don’t get to spoil them as much since I’ve had Rosebud, they’ve been such a comfort. They have a wonderful presence and our home would feel empty without them. They are friendly, affectionate, fluffy and protective of Rosebud. I couldn’t ask for anything else from a pet.

11. Friends

I don’t have very many and the ones I have, I don’t get to see them often, but I appreciate them so much. Thank you for letting me vent, being there for me and sharing stories and plenty of laughs.

Mother hugging two children

12. The kids I work with every day

There are a few who are so special to me and are my whole reason for showing up to work. I love the hugs, when they tell me they love me and when they include me in their play. When they come up and demand you play with them, you know you’ve done something right.

13. My health.

I’ve always been generally healthy. When I see the people around me with lots of medical issues, I realize how fortunate I am.

14. My past experiences

Although there have been a lot of negative experiences in my life, they’ve shaped who I am today. I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons. Although I’m not yet grateful for everything in my past, there are still lessons left for me to learn. I am grateful for the opportunities for growth ahead and for all the wonderful memories, the people who I’ve met and the places I’ve seen.

Mother and daughter tasting cupcakes

15. My daughter

Most of all, I’m thankful for my daughter. She has given my life a whole new purpose. I don’t know where I’d be without her. Yesterday, I watched her cook in her pretend kitchen and when she served the cupcakes, she offered more to me than she saved for herself. She doesn’t always clean up her toys or listen to me, but when I ask her if she can do me a favor, her response is always, of course. She’s always wanting to help and she has an endless supply of hugs and kisses. She’s smart, sweet and funny and I’m so proud to be her mommy.

How about you? What are you thankful for? Tell me in the comments.

18 Comments

Salt Dough Keepsakes

I wanted to come up with an inexpensive and creative gift for my mother’s birthday. I also wanted Rosebud to be involved in making it so I decided to see what we could create with salt dough.

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup salt,
  • 2 cups all purpose flour,
  • 1 cup warm water,
  • A pinch of cinnamon, (Optional)
  • Food coloring or powder paint. (Optional)
  • Homemade salt dough
    Directions:

    • 1. Mix salt and flour together in a bowl.
    • If you are using powder paint to add coloring, you’ll want to mix it with the dry ingredients.
    • I added the pinch of cinnamon at this stage for a hint of scent, but that is totally optional.
    • 2. Gradually add the warm water and stir until dough forms.
    • If you are using food coloring, add it into the water before mixing with the dry ingredients.
    • 3. Once you have your dough, shape it into a ball and kneed for five minutes. the more you kneed, the softer it gets.
    • 4. Time to have fun and see what you can create.

    Salt dough heart ornament

    It took several tries, but I shaped the dough into a flat heart and Rosebud pushed her hand in the center to make the handprint. Trying to get a tired child to do something like this can be pure torture, but after the sixth try, we got our final product. The other handprints were missing fingers, missing part of the hand itself or barely noticeable.

    Salt dough heart, dried

    To add some sparkle, I put some glitter on the heart. Finally, I poked two holes in the top so the heart can be hung as a decoration. I used a pencil to get good sized holes.

    Salt dough rose

    Next, I worked on the small rose. I roled out a coil for the stem and then made the leaf and rose petals by hand. You role the dough into tiny balls, shape them like a fingerprint and then smooth and bend the pointy ends into the stem. I start out with the outside petals which are larger and then work my way into the smallest center petals.

    I baked the decorations for one hour at 200F and covered them with foil to avoid browning. The heart could’ve been baked a bit longer, but it air dried the rest of the way.

    When it was cool, I painted them. For the heart and flower, I mixed white paint with a tiny drop of red food coloring. For the stem and leaf, I mixed the white paint with some green food coloring. When the paint was dry, I covered it with a coat of modpoj.

    Rosebud was proud to give the birthday gifts and I was happy that we created something together. Have you made anything with salt dough? If so, what are your best creations?

    6 Comments

    Do the Right Thing: A Reminder for Halloween or Any Time

    Hallloween is approaching and many of us will be interacting with our neighbors, so I’m updating this story from last year to remind us to be compassionate and kind. We can’t assume everyting about everyone, nor can we know what goes on in everyone’s lives. However, we can all do our best to make Halloween night a positive experience for our children and if you don’t celebrate Halloween, that’s okay too. I know this seems like common sense, but apparently last year, one of my neighbors still needed that reminder.

    Do the Right Thing pin

    On Halloween night, my brother and I took Rosebud trick-or-treating. My mom and my other brother stayed behind and handed out the candy. We have a ton of trick-or-treaters in the neighborhood, so I usually run out of candy quickly. The first year I lived here, I ran out of candy within minutes of turning on the light. The kids kept coming, so I went to the store to get another bag. Then last year, Halloween celebrations were rescheduled due to a large storm and power outages, but we barely got any trick-or-treaters on that day. Rosebud wasn’t a fan of last year’s costume and basically it was a bust.

    This year, Rosebud loved her costume and understood the whole idea of trick-or-treating. Although she was shy, she had a great time.

    Group of trick-or-treaters

    By the time we got home, there was barely any candy left and my mom wanted to save me a few pieces. She kept going to turn out the light, but the kids kept coming. Rosebud got plenty of candy and my mom was going to start handing that out, but my brother and I agreed that it was hers and that it wasn’t right to be handing it out. I turned out the lights, but I still had some ghost lights hanging in the window. Meanwhile, my brothers went out the back way into the garage to put some things in there. A group of people walked by including this extremely rude woman.

    My brothers could hear her from the garage saying something to the effect of, if they’re gonna shut the lights off, they need to not have decorations. She went on about how we needed to hand out candy. Her husband was trying to offer up some explanation as to why our light might be off. He said that maybe we had small children and it was their bed time. He said that maybe we were still out trick-or-treating and not home yet. She continued to voice her opinion very loudly as she continued down the street. The last thing my brother heard her say was that we need to do the right thing.

    Notebook with the text, do the right thing

    The ironic thing was that I felt good about how our night went until this happened. I had good interactions with my neighborhoods. Everyone was polite. The kids in the street were well behaved. People were laughing and having a good time. Of course, there always has to be one one rotten apple ruining it for the rest of us. Maybe I should have shut off my decorations along with the porch light, but I was taking photos of Rosebud. Plus, I was still celebrating Halloween. It was getting late and I thought the amount of trick-or-treaters would be slowing down anyway. Maybe I should’ve gotten three bags of candy instead of two. I could’ve spent $40 on candy instead of $20. There’s always a million things I could’ve done differently.

    Bucket filled with candy

    The question is, why? Do we wish we could’ve done things differently because we honestly regret them or is it because of the opinions of others? Would we even care about these insignificant choices that mean nothing in the long run if it weren’t for the judgement from those around us? I wouldn’t have cared, but then I had visions of this woman going on the neighborhood message board and complaining about how there were Halloween decorations, but no candy at my address. It’s a scary thought, but people go on there and complain about specific individuals.

    Jack-o’-lantern

    I didn’t feel guilty. I had done the right thing. I had taken my daughter out trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. In turn, I gave candy to the neighborhood kids who came to my door. By the time I shut off my light, Rosebud was tired and the woman’s husband was right, I have a small child who needed to be put to bed. A couple days later, I talked to another neighbor who said she ran out of candy at around the same time. She said that most of the neighbors around her were running out of candy as well. Obviously, I wasn’t alone. If candy wasn’t outrageously expensive, I think most of us would’ve bought more, but that’s a topic for another post.

    Girl offering marshmallowsThe next time you are in a situation where you are wondering why on earth someone would do something, give it a second thought before jumping to conclusions. Of course we all are going to make judgements and see things through our own lenses, but there might be a completely reasonable explanation for someone’s actions. My response to that woman would be that instead of telling me to do the right thing, you should take your own advice. Let’s get back to the basics. A little kindness and compassion goes a long way because what you didn’t know is that I already had done the right thing for our neighborhood and at that very moment when you were being rude and judgmental, I was doing the right thing for my daughter.

    9 Comments

    Can We Stop Being so Judgmental Already?

    Can We Stop Being So Judgmental Already? (Pin)

    This post was inspired by an interaction I had with a coworker this week. For those who may be stumbling across my blog for the first time, I work in an early childhood program. As is the case with most programs, we have parents fill out intake paper work before the child joins us. This way, the teachers can get to know some basic information about the child. This is meant as a starting point, but all too often, teachers already are making judgements and have formed an opinion of the child and or the parents before even meeting the child. As teachers, we really need to be mindful of this as it can damage a relationship with the child and family before it has even begun.

    Cartoon person running from gavel.I was sitting with a coworker at nap time as I usually do and she was reading an enrollment form for a child who will be joining us soon. After almost every item, she made a snarky comment. Although my coworker’s children are grown now, she must remember being a parent to young children. We learned that the child’s father recently left the family. The mother works and is now single. She is young and the little boy is her first and only child. We learned that he sleeps in the same room with her. It wasn’t clear if they bed share. His bed time is between 8:30 and 9 and he watches about three hours of tv each night.

    While these may not be some of the parenting choices I’d make, it’s not my place to judge. I have no idea what goes on in their household. When we read that the boy sleeps in the same room with his mom, her comment was, oh, god. My comment was, maybe they have a small apartment or maybe he’s having some anxiety since his dad left recently so for now he sleeps with her? Another explanation may be that she misses him since she works all day and likes being close to him. We have to choose the sleeping arrangement that works best for our family.

    Boy holding remote watching tv.When we learned that he watches three hours of tv each night, her comment was, “that’s way too much tv. That’s a lot. I don’t even watch that much tv.” I mentioned that maybe that’s why his bed time was late because I’ve read research that shows that it takes children longer to settle if they watch tv right before bed. I said that the mom is young and newly single, that maybe she has a lot to do at night and that’s why he is watching so much tv. I really can empathize with this mom. Rosebud watches more tv than I would like, but there are times when I need to clean, cook, make phone calls etc. It’s hard to do that when you have a toddler who wants all your attention. While the teacher in me whole heartedly agrees that it’s too much tv, the parent in me understands.

    Crying baby.

    These days, I am much more likely to view things from a parent perspective, but it hasn’t always been that way. About four years ago, we had a baby in our infant room who had a huge appetite. At least that’s what we thought. His mother would send him with a few small bottles of breast milk. Each of the bottles had two to three ounces which is completely normal and appropriate for breast-fed babies. However, we didn’t know that at the time. Between bottles, the child would scream and suck his hands. He seemed very hungry so we would tell the mother that he needed more bottles and one teacher kept suggesting that that they needed to supplement with formula.

    While I don’t think we were completely wrong about him being hungry, here is what we weren’t understanding. Smaller more frequent feedings is the norm for breast-fed babies and paced feeding is an absolute must. We should’ve been questioning the flow of the nipple. Maybe it was too fast and he was drinking too quickly. Maybe if we slowed him down, he would’ve felt more satisfied. Also, it was insensitive to suggest supplementation before trying other options. There are a lot of intense feelings involved with breast-feeding and supplementation can be a sensitive issue. It can also mess with a mother’s milk supply.

    Mother and son eating breakfast.Back then, I was not a parent yet and knew nothing about breast-feeding. One co-teacher was in the same boat as I was and the other co-teacher was a parent, but she formula fed. We had no idea and the fact is this mother was doing everything right in her situation and we had no business judging. We’d say things like, why doesn’t she bring more milk? Doesn’t she realize he’s hungry? She really needs to start bringing formula.

    Can We Stop Being So Judgmental Already? (Sky Pin)

    After I became a parent, I understood. I learned all I could about breast-feeding and was having my own experiences with supplementation, not producing enough milk, feeling like a failure as a parent and eventually being successful with it. I finally could walk in her shoes. When I look back, I feel bad. Now, when there doesn’t seem to be enough milk, I wonder what we can do to help. I wonder if the mother has the same supply struggles that I did. Now that I have a new understanding, I am in a better position to relate to and advocate for the children and families I work with. As for the baby, the mom never changed the size of his bottles, but after we started the transition from a bottle to sippy cup and solids were introduced, things settled down. She never caved and gave him formula. She stuck to what she knew in her heart was right and that’s what we all need to do.

    Woman thinking.

    The next time you are in a situation where you or someone else is judging, step back. Do some alternative thinking. If there is something that doesn’t make sense to you, come up with other possibilities. For example, the little boy watches three hours of tv each night. That is not a parenting choice I’d make, but in my head, I made a list of reasons why that might happen. Maybe mom is making dinner, cleaning or trying to study. Maybe she needs a break after a long day of work. Her job might be stressful and she needs some time to herself. Maybe that’s how her and her child bond over watching shows together. That felt much better than jumping on my coworker’s train of thought of negativity. When you reframe something and come up with a different interpretation, you may be able to understand that person or interaction better. The choice to judge or not judge starts with you. How do you avoid making judgements about others? Let me know in the comments.

    16 Comments

    Five Signs of a Quality Childcare Program

    5 Signs of a quality early childhood program pin

    With the way our world is today, for most families, two incomes are a necessity. Unfortunately, this means that a lot of children spend 40 hours or more per week in childcare. With your child spending that much time in one place, you want to ensure that they are receiving quality care. You want to know that they feel welcome and safe. You want to be able to trust your childcare provider with your most precious gifts, your children. Whether the program you are looking at is home based or a larger childcare facility, here are some things to look for to determine whether it is a quality program. You may or may not know, I am a childcare provider so I have an insider’s perspective. I’ve been in many childcare facilities, observed things throughout the years and have heard from families about why or why they did not choose certain childcare programs. You’ll want to take a look at are cleanliness, the classroom environment, staff interactions, policies and procedures and your first impressions of the facility and its management.

    Boy with mop

    1. Cleanliness

    This is really important. It is not only important for children and staff to wash their hands regularly and to wash toys for hygienic purposes, but everything else needs to be cleaned regularly as well. Everything from the lunch tables, floors, walls and especially doorknob handles. You can tell if a place is clean by looking at the following.

    Are the floors dirty? This isn’t always an indicator. For example if the children have just come inside and the playground was muddy or if they have just eaten a meal and teachers haven’t had a chance to sweep. If the floor is dirty, but the rest of the place appears clean, it’s probably okay. Does the place smell? There’s nothing worse than going into a stinky place. Can you smell that they’ve used some sort of cleaning products? Are there delicious aromas coming from the kitchen? When I smell the cook making a yummy lunch, it’s always more inviting. If the place smells like one huge diaper pale, you’ll probably want to run out the door. If you’re wondering, I have been in a couple of places like that and I didn’t stay long. This might be harder to pick up on, but are there cob webs or a lot of dust in certain areas? If you see cob webs some where, that could be a sign that cleaning is neglected. Do tables look dirty? This one is similar to the floor. If the children just got done with a meal or doing a messy art activity, the tables may be still dirty. Do toys look dirty or broken? The condition of the toys can be a good indication of cleanliness plus the amount of respect the children have for things in their classroom. Last year, we had a rough group in one of our classes and toys were broken often. What about the children’s bathrooms? Usually the children’s bathrooms are right in the classroom so you can see if they are reasonably cleaned.

    Business woman giving papers

    2. Management

    In most places, your first point of contact is the program director or manager. If you are looking at home based childcare, your point of contact is probably the owner. What are your first impressions of them? How are they treating you and do you feel comfortable? Do they allow you to tour the facility? If they do not let you tour or bring your child for a visit before hand, that raises red flags. You always want to tour first, seeing the whole facility if possible, but especially spending some time in your child’s classroom. The program director should explain policies and procedures, the rooms in the facility, the daily schedules and allow you to ask whatever questions you may have. They should be asking questions too and showing interest in your child.

    Children and teacher in preschool classroom

    3. Classroom Environment

    There should be a place for children to keep their personal belongings. Many places refer to these as cubbies. Are their plenty of toys? There should be a variety of toys and different areas in the classroom. Science or sensory is where children can play with water or sand. They need areas for exploration. Small blocks, stringing beads and puzzles are called Manipulatives. Every class should be using those things to enhance fine motor skills. They may have a kitchen center or a housekeeping corner. Children can use their imaginations doing some dramatic play. There should be a reading corner with plenty of books as well as a place to do art with a variety of materials. There is usually another area for kids to use bigger blocks, cars and trucks or other toys to use more of the larger motor skills. Does the program have any extras? they may have things like a tumble bus, dance classes, cooking for kids, swim lessons etc. Find out what’s unique about your program. I’d also suggest looking at different philosophies and compare it against your parenting style and family preferences. Some places focus on academics, where others use a Montessori or play based approach.

    Women enjoying coffee break

    4. Staff Interactions

    First, pay close attention to whether you feel comfortable with the staff. Do they look happy, frazzled, tired, frustrated etc. Are they warm and welcoming? Do they answer your questions? What are staff interactions like? Do they work well together as a team or is there plenty of tension in the room? The moods and interactions between staff members is a good indicator of quality. If there is lots of tension and chaos, that may just be the surface of a larger problem. Are they experienced? Some people have a natural gift for working with children and some don’t. Experience may not always be a good indicator, but it helps for teachers to have a background in early childhood education. At least some of the people in the program should be educated in the early childhood field. How long do staff stay with the program? This is a good indicator of a program’s quality. If you have many staff members who work there for long periods of time, it speaks volumes about a well run program. It also is a good indicator of how long your child will have consistency. Finally, observe staff and child interactions if you can to get a feel of how the teachers interact with the children.

    Parent teacher conference

    5. Policies and Procedures

    The manager will probably give you a handbook with tons of information. Please read it. You might come across valuable information that may have been forgotten during the first visit. Some policies you should pay attention to are the sick policy. Most good programs use the Academy of pediatrics as their guide. Find out about their pick up and drop off policies. Can children only be dropped off at certain times? Are there late fees if the child is picked up late? What is their policy on potty training? For example, do children have to be potty trained before entering the preschool class?

    Baby drinking his bottle

    If you have an infant, what are their food prep procedures? Do they expect you to have premade bottles? Do you provide baby food or do they? Some programs serve snacks and lunch and others ask you to provide your own food. For the breast-feeding moms, does the facility have a place for a mother to breast-feed? This is important if you want to drop in during the day to feed your baby. The manager should go over the daily schedule and you should be able to get a feel for what kinds of activities are planned for the children. Do they have an open door policy for parents? Most programs use some sort of assessment tool to track your child’s progress and you may want to ask about that. You’ll want to ask about enrollment paper work and fees.

    Signs of a quality childcare provider pin

    Choosing a childcare provider can be overwhelming and I know this is a lot of information. I hope this list helps you narrow it down and find a wonderful childcare provider or program. Just remember to listen to your gut instinct. If the list is too extensive, just remember a few basic things. Is it clean? Does it seem safe? Do you feel comfortable talking to the teachers and program director? Finally, do you and your child feel at home? If you answered no to any of these questions, continue your search until you find a good fit. It’ll be worth it. I know it is difficult to leave your children in someone else’s hands. As an early childhood educator, I am thankful for the children I’ve met and am grateful that families have trusted me to care for them.

    6 Comments