Memories

19 Things to Be Thankful for in 2019

First, I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving. If you are not in the US or don’t celebrate, that’s okay because any day is a good day to be thankful. It’s always good to show gratitude for the wonderful things in our lives. This has been a hard year for me and too often I focus on the areas of my life that I’m not satisfied with. Today reminds me that I need to stop and share what I am truly grateful for.

19 Things to be Thankful for in 2019

1. I want to start off with the amazing people in my life.

Rosebud is at the top of my list. Parenting is the hardest and most rewarding job I’ve ever done. I’ll admit there are things I don’t like about being a parent, but I love Rosebud with all my heart. I love when we laugh together. I love weekend mornings when we can sleep in or snuggle. I love how excited she gets to see me after work. It really brightens my day. I love teaching her things, but she has taught me so much. She tests my patience for sure, but she has shown me how strong I am. She’s my reason for getting out of bed every day.

2. I’m thankful for my family. Especially my mom. We don’t always agree, but she’s been a huge source of support when I’ve really needed it. She’s also my main source of transportation which is not always easy. She takes care of Rosebud when I’m at work and makes sure she gets to and from preschool. I don’t have to pay extraordinary amounts of money for childcare because of her. Not to mention the fact that she loves Rosebud no matter what.

3. I’m thankful for my new niece that I haven’t met yet. She was born premature a couple weeks ago and since she’s been in the hospital, I haven’t been able to meet her. Rosebud and I were sick last week, so we didn’t want to pass our germs on to the baby. Fortunately, she came home a few days ago and we will be meeting her for the first time today. She’ll probably give me baby fever, but that’s a topic for another post.

Couple drinking coffee

4. I’m thankful for my friends. I have a couple of good friends in my life. To protect everyone’s privacy, I won’t mention anyone’s names, but just know that I appreciate all of you whether we’ve met in person or not. One friend, I’ve been writing to for over two years now. Although we’ve never met in person, I consider her one of my best friends and maybe one day one of us will take the trip. There’s Little Guy’s mom who texts me often to check in, has been extremely supportive and helpful with my work and of course brings Little Guy for playdates. Then there are all the others who I talk to less often, but I’m grateful to know them. Recently, someone else has come into my life. While our friendship is brand new and I’m not sure how things will turn out, I appreciate him very much.

5. I’m thankful for my home. Of course I’m grateful that I have a roof over my head, but it is more than that. Rarely have I ever truly felt at home as an adult. I love having my own safe space that I can come to at the end of the day. I can invite people if I want. I can decorate it how I choose to. My home has been a great place for Rosebud as well. She loves it and I can tell it feels like home to her. While there are lots of things I don’t like about the area where I live, I’m thankful to have a wonderful home.

6. I’m grateful for my job as much as I hate to say it. While I’m extremely dissatisfied and that is putting it mildly, it allows me to buy the things I need. There are some wonderful children and coworkers I’ve met over the years and that’s what I have to remember.

7. There is a special baby I met this year. Unfortunately, I only got to spend a couple of months working with him. He is a happy and sweet little boy who I’ll always remember.

19 Things to be Thankful for in 2019

8. I’m thankful for Diamond. Thank you for snuggling with me every day and for always being there.

An older picture of Diamond and Mellow

9. I’m thankful for Mellow. I lost him this year which has been hard. I miss your loud purr, your crazy meows, your snuggles and watching your friendship with Rosebud. I’m so grateful that you were my cat.

10. I’m thankful for books. While I haven’t read as many books this year. I’m grateful for the things that books can teach us or the escape when I want to be somewhere else.

11. I’m thankful for music. I don’t listen to music as much as I used to, but lately I’ve been enjoying finding new songs on Spotify. Music was so important to me when I was a kid. I spent most of the 90’s listening to music. It was always there no matter what. Music was a source of joy and comfort to me during some difficult times.

12. I’m grateful for nature. The beach is my happy place. I love rainy/cloudy days, but enjoy the warm sun as well. Just sitting outside hearing the birds and feeling the breeze is so peaceful. I am fortunate to live in a place where there is always nature around me.

Thanksgiving dinner13. I’m grateful for delicious food. I love to cook, bake and try new recipes. I’m especially for food that others cook for me. It’s a bonus!

14. I’m extremely thankful for technology. When I was going to school in the 90’s, there was some technology, but it wasn’t as advanced as it is today. Back then I would’ve never thought that I’d be able to use the exact same technology as my peers. By the time I started college, I was fortunate to have a laptop with a screen reader and was so grateful that I could blend in. My computer looked the same as everyone else’s. Then when the iPhones started coming out, I couldn’t imagine how I’d ever use a phone with a touch screen. Apple products are amazing and they have accessibility built into them. I didn’t have to spend crazy amounts of money on extra software to get my phone, tablet or pc to work for me. For someone who has had to stand out, it’s wonderful to be on the same playing field with everyone else when it comes to technology.

15. I’m thankful for writing. I love journaling to gain clarity and to preserve memories. I love blogging and the potential to reach so many people. Writing has always been one of my favorite things.

Autumn candle with pumpkins

16. I’m grateful for things that smell good. People find my strong sense of smell to be a pain in the ass. I’ll ask if they can smell something and of course, they never can. I love candles, perfumes and lotions. I have a drawer full of wax melts, but that’s my secret.

17. I’m grateful for soft things. As I sit here, I’m covered with a soft cozy blanket. Diamond and Mellow are soft and cuddly. I have a collection of stuffed animals. I’m really picky about textures, so clothes, blankets and sheets have to have a soft texture that is just right.

18. This is really important. I am thankful for my health. Too often I take it for granted, but I’ve been pretty healthy so far in my life. I’m grateful that I can get up in the morning and exercise. I can work. I can play with Rosebud. Not everyone can easily do these things and that is definitely something I need to be mindful of.

19 Things to be Thankful for in 2019

19. Lastly, I’m grateful for you, my readers. Thank you for reading my blog. While I haven’t found great success, I get a small amount of views each day. My  persistence and love of writing keep my blog going, but it’s the comments from readers that I find the most meaningful. Thank you so much. What are you thankful for this year? Tell me in the comments.

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Blast From the Past Stocking Stuffers

I was thinking about what else to post in my stocking stuffer series and remembered all the great toys and games we had in the 90’s. I thought it’d be cool to get a couple of things for Rosebud and to bring you all down memory lane with this list of fun toys, games and accessories from the 90’s. There are stocking stuffers for kids of all ages on this list.

Children playing board games

Games

Let’s start off with games. Board games were a big thing in the 90’s. I remember many weekends playing board or card games with my friends. Now kids are attached to their screens, but it might be fun for them to play an actual game with real pieces instead. Do you remember any of these?


Blast from the Past Stocking Stuffers pin

Toys

There were lots of toys to collect in the 90’s. I had my share of beanie babies, troll dolls and the horses from My Little Pony. I don’t remember the show, but I do remember the plastic ponies.


More Toys


Who remembers these water games?

Here’s something for the boys.

Girl with makeup at a vanity

Accessories

Here are some accessories and products for girls from the 90’s.
Scrunchies

Jewelry

Bath and Body

Who else remembers these fragrances? Bath and Body Works was one of my favorite stores as a teenager.

Candy land picture

Candy

Last but not least, how about some 90’s candy?

Blast from the past stocking stuffers pin

Did I miss anything? What awesome items do you remember from your childhood? Tell me in the comments.

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What Mothers Really Want for Mothers Day

For Mothers Day, I want to sleep in. When I wake up, I want a nice breakfast. Then I want to spend the rest of the morning relaxing and enjoying the spring weather. I want to have time to write in my journal and get absorbed in a good book. I’d also like to spend time with Rosebud, just being her mom and not having to worry about anything. I’d love to end the day with a bubble bath and maybe watching a little tv. It’s not too much to ask, right?

What Mothers Really Want for Mothers Day Pin

I got thinking. What do other mothers want? I posed this question to a group of moms and here’s what they said. The good news is that most of these things don’t cost a penny. there might be a little work involved, but the moms in your life will love you for it. Here’s what we really want this mothers day!

Breakfast in bedMore Sleep
Cendu
This mom wants just one day to sleep in til noon 😍
You can find her over at Cendu Param.com.
Jacalyn from StopYellingPlease.com.

To sleep in on the weekends like my husband. No one asking me “what should the baby eat for breakfast” or “where are my shoes?” Just to sleep in without interruption and without my body telling me it’s 6 AM and time to get up.

Pamela
To sleep in, and then when I wake up, lots of kisses and a latte in bed.
Check out her blog at Brooklyn Farm Girl.com.
Man doing dishes

A Clean House
Mercedes from Mom To Girls.com.
I’d like to have a clean house, laundry put away, a good meal, and some time to relax in a bubble bath 😊

Mallory from Mom of War Hear My Roar.
I would absolutely LOVE for someone to do the dishes and the laundry. I don’t mean put the dishes in the sink that morning and… BOOM… done. But also start and empty the clean dishwasher and put the 100 cups that are used throughout the day back in there.
Victoria
I’d like a day where my house is clean and I’m not cleaning it, dinner is made and fresh flowers bought for me. Also, coffee made for me by my kids when I’d like.Xoxo
You can find Victoria at TitleFreeMom.com.

Liz from TheLifeYouDesign.com.
What I honestly want more than anything. I want a day WITH my husband and daughter out of the house. I want to celebrate a mother by being a mother. However while we are gone, I want a professional cleaning service to deep-clean my home and I want to order dinner for delivery and eat on paper plates so there are no dishes.

A woman relaxing on the beach

A Vacation
Kristenne
Aaah… A vacation from my family. Even just for 24 hours. A staycation at a 5-star hotel, with room service massage, a sauna, a pool, a buffet. Of course, I’d probably call a sitter or have my husband take time off work. As a WAHM, taking time out of the house without our baby is a luxury.

You can find her at MisisBlog.com
Hayley
To go somewhere memorable with my family, like a day out or travel to somewhere exotic! Making special memories would be a great Mother’s Day gift for me!
Hailey blogs over at Life As A Butterfly.

Couple on coffee date

Kid Free Time

Mai from the Cheerful Nomads.

Alone time with my husband like we used to. I can’t remember the last time the two of us went out without the kids!

Talya
A trip to Target/Home Goods/anywhere really, sans kids!! With no time limit!!!
You can find her blog at The Mother Fix.

Mother and children laughingFamily Time

Mallory from Mama On Parade.
I just don’t want to do anything for mother’s day. No dishes, no laundry, no work. Just have a fun and relaxing day with my family.

Emma
I just want a day with my own little family where I don’t have to worry about cooking, cleaning, or laundry. With my husband’s work schedule it’s hard to find the time to just have a fun day as a family, so I ask for this each year.
You can find Emma’s blog here at Muddy Boots And Diamonds.com.

Aimee from MommyBabyLife.com.
Call me crazy, but I do enjoy spending Mother’s Day with my family. My husband works a lot so we don’t usually have a lot of quality time with all 5 of us. I like to go to a small town, walk around the shops – picking out a few gifts for myself of course – and get lunch.

Woman laughing, enjoying drink on deck
Relaxation
Shannon
A stiff drink! No, seriously, a pretty drink with an umbrella sitting outside in my lounge chair the radio blasting, kids playing, and the hubs grilling supper.

Find Shannon over at Southern Blessed Chaos.

Jessica from CareFreeMermaid.com.
Just something simple like a Starbucks brought to me in the morning 😉 & a nice quiet, peaceful bath with a glass of wine at night!

Tricia
I want to have a day where I can read a book, drink a glass of wine, or be lazy and not listen to my kids argue about who ate the last bowl of cereal!

Tricia can be found at HabibiHouse.net.

Lani from LaniOnLife.com.
I want a day at the spa; massage and facial. A day to take care of and focus on me with no stress or worries.

Jessica from Adventuring to Neverland.
A SPA DAY…. Not just a service, but an entire day. I know it’s wishful thinking, butttttt goodness wouldn’t that be graaaaand?!

Toddler giving Mothers Day gift
Something for Mom
Jho
I want to have a Mother’s Day to pamper myself, but I thought of something else. I never had the chance to really pamper my mom, so perhaps it’s that time of the year where kids do something for their moms. Since my kids are still too small to do something grand for me, lol, I’d do something for my mom. And I hope that’ll make me feel good and set a good example for my kids.

Check out her blog, Empowered Moms At Home.

Planner next to pink flowers

A Day Free From Planning
Lisa from Biscuits and Grading.
I want to spend the day outside. I want to go hike and bike the local trails with the coffee that my husband went out of his way to buy me. I want to eat a lunch (that he picked up) at the park with my family. I mostly just want to not have to plan one single thing. As a mom, all I do is plan and coordinate. I want a complete 24 hour reprieve from planning.

Angel
It’d be perfect to have a day of family adventure all planned out without me being the one picking the place. Surprise me and spoil me on Mother’s Day.

Visit Angel’s blog Mommying Differently.

Kids do art work for mom on mothers day

Making Memories
Taylor from Accomplished Family.
I’d love for my husband to take time figuring out something that my girls could be involved in to make this mother’s day memorable. Doesn’t have to cost! I’m thinking a handmade card or even a painted rock. I’d want to spend time with my family. I’d love to go for a long walk or drive.

Jennifer
My kids are older and I don’t get to see some of them as often as I would like. For Mother’s Day I would love a mother’s necklace, but not initials or birth stones. I want a charm that each one has picked to represent who they are so I could carry around a piece of them always.
Find Jennifer atOneHoppyMomma.com.

Man cooking food

Cooking

Lacy from Uplifted Simplicity.
My favorite gift is a day outside gardening and grilling with my family. We love to plant flowers in the afternoon and then eat whatever my husband has grilled up for dinner.

Jacqueline from MomMoneyMap.com.
I would want my husband to cook us a meal from scratch. No frozen pizzas or meals that just have to be heated in the oven, I want to see him chop the vegetables, and cook the grains and meat. A homemade pie couldn’t hurt either!

The Perfect Mothers Day
Stacy
My perfect Mother’s Day would be breakfast in bed with lots of coffee, time to take a bubble bath and get dressed in peace, A nice lunch with a fun family activity. That afternoon I would get some quiet time or a nap. A mix of some much needed “me time” and family time is the perfect Mother’s Day to me.
Find Stacy over at Protecting Your Pennies.

Jamilyn from SideKick Mama.
My perfect Mother’s day would be a full night’s sleep (we have a baby) and waking up to a clean house and finished flooring! We are so close to completing our kitchen flooring. It definitely would be nice to have it done!

Audrey from RosesRompers.com.
I would love a full night of sleep and having someone else cook breakfast for me. AND do the dishes afterwards. Gluten-free healthy pancakes please! And also having the house cleaned thoroughly for me. And at night, a long soak in the bathroom with a book by my favorite author!

What Mothers Really Want For Mothers Day 2019 pin

Appreciation
Alexandria from Always Us.
Appreciation for all the things mamas do!
Check out her Gift Guide for Mothers Day 2019.

Erin from Lullaby Lark.
I made the decision to put my career on hold to stay home and raise my children, one of whom has special needs. I would love for my family to show me that what I do matters to them, that I’m making a difference.
Ayesha from WFHMama sums it up nicely!
I want Mother’s to be celebrated on more than just one day out of the year. ❤️

To summarize, we want plenty of sleep, a clean house, home cooked meals, relaxation, fun family time and memories that last a life time. Above all, we want to know that we are loved and appreciated. What will you be doing for the moms in your life this Mothers Day? Tell me in the comments.

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Rosebud’s Birth Story: My C-section Experience

Did you know that April is c-section awareness month? I didn’t. I didn’t know much about C-sections until about 15 minutes before landing on the operating table, so I thought now would be a good time to share Rosebud’s birth story.

Positive pregnancy test

The Beginning

When I found out I was pregnant, one of my first thoughts was, oh my god! I’m gonna have to give birth. This is is going to hurt more than anything and how am I going to get through it. I was overwhelmed by the idea. It was scary, but I tried to put that thought out of my mind. I told myself that I’d cross that bridge when I got to it. when I had my first appointment with the midwives, they asked about a birth plan. I had no idea what I wanted, but when they mentioned that I could have a water birth, I liked the idea. I heard it was more relaxing and less painful. That’s what I was going for. Either way, I always expected a natural birth.

Pregnant woman getting ultrasound

After Rosebud’s first ultrasound, they discovered some complications. She had a Velamentous chord insertion which basically means that the chord had become attached in the wrong place. With this condition, the vessels are exposed and they can rupture during labor. In some cases, it can cause still birth. When they explained this condition to me, it was a little confusing and worrisome, but they told me that it wasn’t going to be a big deal, but that they would be monitoring me closely. They told me that they would have to do an induction if I didn’t go into labor by 39 weeks, but both the midwives and doctors said that I wouldn’t have to have a C-section. They said I could have a natural birth. At the time I believed them, but a little piece of me knew the writing was on the wall.

Pregnant woman with nurse in the hospital

Birth Plans Change

Since my plan was to have a natural birth, I never bothered to do my research. On one hand, maybe it was better that way because I would’ve been even more scared. On the other hand, I would’ve known about potential complications and what to expect during recovery. I could’ve learned about a Gentle C-section. Luckily, my midwife and doctor used many of the elements of a gentle c-section, but I had no idea it was a thing until this past year. Anyway, after the Velamentous chord insertion diagnosis, a water birth was out of the question. The midwives told me it wouldn’t be safe, so I opted for a natural birth with no medication. As my pregnancy progressed, everything was going well. Rosebud was healthy. We passed all our tests. Towards the end of my pregnancy, we had to go in for stress tests twice per week. While they were annoying and I could tell Rosebud didn’t like them, I was glad to hear her heartbeat and her constant movement. As expected, I made it to week 39 and still no signs of labor, so an induction was scheduled to start on a Sunday night.

A baby’s nursery

The Induction

The first night was long with barely any progress. They kept upping the dose of Pitocin over Sunday night and throughout Monday. There was still no baby. I was having contractions, but they weren’t painful yet. That night, they decided to use the Foley balloon catheter. That’s a torture device if I’ve ever seen one. Just like that, my birth plan disappeared because now I was getting medication for the pain and to help me sleep. My next step, was no epidural. I was progressing at a snail’s pace. By Wednesday afternoon, there was still little progress and they had me on the highest dose of Pitocin. I think my insurance company told the hospital to get me out of there because they said I could go home and wait a couple more days to see if I went into labor naturally or I could stay and get a C-section.Woman sleeping in bed

Going Home Without my Baby

I decided to go home and rest. I was so exhausted already and hadn’t even had my baby yet. She was still healthy and I was still healthy, so I thought I was making the right decision. A C-section is a major surgery, so I wanted to avoid it unless it was absolutely necessary. There was also a part of me that wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I spent that night at home in my bed and I actually slept. All I remember from that next day was going grocery shopping. It was pretty close to Christmas and the stores were crowded. I was so uncomfortable walking around. Later that night when I was about to go to bed, I got a call from the midwives telling me I couldn’t come in the next day for my second scheduled induction because there were too many women there already. I told the midwife it was okay, but it wasn’t. I was pissed and I bursted into tears as soon as I hung up the phone. By then I was done. I was done with being uncomfortable and I didn’t want to be induced a second time. I had heard Pitocin contractions were more painful than natural contractions and while I don’t have much to compare it to, I’m sure that’s accurate.

Newborn baby

Part 2

I woke up around 3 A.M to use the bathroom and my water broke. Finally we were getting somewhere. I went back into the hospital and they checked me again, but there was no progress other than my water breaking. The induction started all over again, but they increased the Pitocin at a much faster rate. I started to make some progress, but after about ten hours, the pain was becoming unbearable and we weren’t getting much closer. I finally caved. I asked for the epidural and things went downhill from there.

A couple hours after getting the epidural, the complications started. Rosebud’s heart rate started to increase, I suddenly had a fever, was lower on oxygen and couldn’t urinate. Sorry, tmi. Rosebud’s heart rate and the oxygen mask scared me. It was happening so fast and I had no idea why. It was probably effects from the medication and the epidural plus being induced twice. My body couldn’t handle it. At this point they recommended a C-section. They asked if I’d consent to one. I said yes, please. Let’s get this over with. By this point it was getting late into the night. I’d basically been in labor for the previous week and I wanted to see my baby.

Hand holding baby feetRosebud’s Entrance

About 15 minutes later, I was being wheeled into the C-section room. The anesthesiologist I had previously seen was back to give me the spinal this time. I barely felt it. The next thing I knew. I was numb and they were lifting me onto the table. They put the drape over me and got to work. They put that damn oxygen mask over my face again. I couldn’t breathe and it was scaring the shit out of me. I think I was in shock from everything happening so fast, but The anesthesiologist was wonderful. He was doing his best to keep me calm through everything. I felt some pulling and tugging and then I heard my baby cry for the first time. The crying didn’t last long. She had suddenly stopped, but everyone sounded happy, so I knew she was safe and healthy, but I couldn’t hold my baby right away. I couldn’t stop shaking and I didn’t feel it was safe, so they wrapped her in a blanket and placed her right next to my head. I could feel her little arms and legs and talk to her for the first time. That’s not how I wanted her to be born, but she was finally here.

Mother and baby after C-section

Finally With Rosebud

Once we got back to our room, I was able to finally hold her and nurse for the first time. That was more difficult than expected, but that’ll be another post. As the night went on, I was able to get up and walk around. I didn’t feel much pain since I had plenty of pain meds. I thought things would be fine now that it was over with. I wasn’t prepared for the swelling that felt like it was never going to end. I had no idea about the complications that a C-section could cause for nursing mothers. I didn’t know that it takes longer for milk to come in after a C-section. I didn’t know I’d be in so much pain after I went home even with the prescription they gave me. I didn’t know I’d feel like a failure. Yes, I gave birth and my baby was healthy, but I still felt like my body betrayed me. Not only was I unable to give birth naturally, but now I was having such difficulty nursing. It became my mission to make my body do something right for once. I didn’t know I’d feel so depressed and sad. There is so much pressure to be perfect mothers and perfect women.

Rosebud’s Birth Story: My C-section Experience

Everyone was telling me that it didn’t matter how my baby was born, but it mattered to me. It was an emergency C-section and it was traumatic. It was scary not being able to breathe on the operating room table and to not have any control of my body. It turned out that the reason that was happening was because I’m short and the spinal went a little too high. The thing was I could’ve lost her and that scared me the most. Nothing about my pregnancy, labor or delivery went as planned and I should’ve been expecting that, but it was extremely disappointing. Rosebud is three now and I have come to terms with my birth story. In the end, I know I did what I had to do. I have a happy and healthy daughter and that’s what has always mattered.

Rosebud’s Birth Story: C-section Awareness

C-section moms are not failures. We are strong mothers. Some of us brought our babies into the world through extraordinary circumstances and for others of us, it was planned this way. We did what we needed to for our own health and for the health of our unborn children. While we didn’t bring our babies into the world the natural way, we have our own stories to tell that are just as valid and meaningful.

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I Miss You, My Marshmallow

For those who don’t know, I have two cats. While I don’t usually write about my pets on this blog, I want to share this personal story. This information needs to be out there. People need to understand the risk of rabies shots. This is not to scare people, but certain cats should not have these vaccines. If your cat is older, has a compromised immune system or is a ragdoll, you should know about this. After this journey, I will never look at veterinary medicine again without a layer of skepticism. I know there are good vets out there. Some things can not be predicted and most vets care a great deal about their patients. I have come across several who have cared for Diamond and Mellow as their own over the years. That being said, I will always be much more careful now.

I Miss My Marshmallow

Disclaimer: This story is about death and may be a trigger for some people.

Diamond and Mellow on a hamper

The Cats

I have two ragdoll cats. Diamond is 12. she’s nothing short of a princess. She’s a little snobby, but is loyal and sweet to those she cares about. She comes when you call her name. She loves things that crinkle, chasing string and naps in the sun. Mellow is 10. He loves to be patted, has a motor boat purr and also enjoys naps in the sun. He loves chasing feathers and will even play fetch if you have the right ball.

Mellow sittingMellow’s End Of Life Story

I can’t believe I’m writing this. Even though I’ve had to say it several times today, I’m still in shock. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. My Marshmallow is gone. Last Thursday morning, he was a happy and relatively healthy cat and by Thursday afternoon after a routine trip to the vet’s office, that all changed. He had his routine vaccinations. Rabies and Distemper. Everything always went fine before. There were never any issues or reactions. I had always assumed that they were no big deal. Just something that animals had to get to stay safe and healthy. So like any good pet owner, I agreed to get his shots done, but there’s one thing that I missed.

Mellow and his fluffy coat

Diagnosis Unknown

Last year, Mellow was diagnosed with an unknown auto immune disorder. There are several options, but none of the doctors could narrow it down. Stomatitis was one possibility, but according to a couple different vets, he didn’t have the right kind of markings inside his mouth. Feline herpes was another likely option as Diamond has this. Her symptoms are all in her eyes, but they can also manifest in the mouth. Mellow never responded to the normal treatments that help feline herpes symptoms. There were other rarer diseases, but nothing was ever established. What I do know is the disorder had something to do with the proteins in his body and he was put on a low protein diet. What ever the case was, he had a compromised immune system.

Diamond and Mellow in front of a window

Questioning the Rabies Vaccine

During my research over the weekend, I found sources that said in many cases, cats shouldn’t be given the rabies vaccine if they are over ten years of age or have compromised immune systems. I also discovered that in the case of ragdolls, they recommend only giving one shot at a time and some breeders advise against the three-year rabies shot. Mellow fits all this criteria, so why was there no red flag on his records? Why are these vets not digging into the files? Why do they not know of the risks or at least share these risks with pet owners? I understand that Google is not necessarily a reliable medical reference, but I read so many stories about people’s cats dying after getting the rabies shot. People need to hear about this! One source has a list of possible side effects, but the most disturbing thing is the comments. There are so many people who have had experiences like mine.

Mellow during the last days of his life

The Prognosis

On the way home Tuesday, he started vomiting. At first, I thought it was motion sickness, but when he continued to do it at home, I knew it was something worse. Friday came and went and he was still not better by Saturday morning, so I took him back to the vet. They gave him some fluids and Antinausea medication. They said his blood work was normal and that he’d probably be fine in a couple of days. They gave me some free cans of food and said they’d be surprised if he didn’t eat that. I brought him home and the day dragged on. On Sunday, things appeared to be worse. He had stopped using the litter box and seemed weaker, so I started giving him water through a syringe almost every hour. That evening, he seemed to perk up. He started moving around more, drinking on his own and was purring again. He was no longer hiding and kept sniffing at his food, but wasn’t ready to eat yet which was still very concerning because not eating for days can be dangerous for cats. When he wanted to go up or downstairs, he’d meow and I would help him. He was still having difficulty climbing or walking longer distances. On Monday, I felt hopeful that he would pull through. The vet wasn’t open over the holiday, so I had talked with another vet over the phone. I described everything that was going on and she said that it sounded like he had turned the corner. Throughout the day, he still was quiet, but would purr when we talked to or pat him. He continued to drink on his own and didn’t mind laying out in the open. He seemed more comfortable than before. He still hadn’t eaten which worried me, but I figured he’d start eating that evening. He seemed well enough to pull through and I’d be taking him back to the vet on Tuesday to be checked. I planned on taking him first thing in the morning.

Diamond and Mellow togetherThe End

Before I went to bed, I brought him upstairs with me. He settled near my bed and I fell asleep. A couple hours later, I heard him cry out in pain, but I wasn’t sure where he went so I checked the bathroom. He followed me there and basically fell over on the floor. Then I noticed that his breathing was rapid and loud. My heart dropped and I just knew everything had gone too far. I sat in there with him for about an hour while I waited for my mom. I didn’t want to do this alone and she was my only way of getting to the emergency clinic. I was prepared to take him there.

I was screwed though. She has bad eyesight for driving at night. The emergency clinic is not close and it had just snowed, so the back roads we’d have to take to get there wouldn’t be cleared. We’d have to take Rosebud there with us as well. I also wasn’t sure how well Mellow would’ve handled the long drive. Would he have made it? We’ll never know now, but if I could do it over, I would have brought him there. Even if all they could do is end his suffering because what I saw over the next few hours was gut wrenching.

It was wrong from start to finish. I brought him downstairs and kept him close to his water bowl and litter box. He’d try drinking from time to time, but other than that, I could not keep him comfortable. Every time he’d move, he’d cry out in pain. Eventually things got so bad that we brought him to the kitchen. He was losing fluids and didn’t realize it so at least in there, it was easier to clean up after him. There are little soft rugs in there that he could lay on, but he preferred to lay on the floor. I stayed with him for a while, but watching him was getting to be too much. All I kept saying was I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That was all that was running through my head because this was all so unnecessary. I told him he was a good boy and tried to pat him, but it made him more uncomfortable. All I could do was watch as he screamed and paced the kitchen in unbearable pain. Eventually it became as if he was stocking me around the kitchen. He looked liked he was going crazy and I wasn’t sure if he was going to become aggressive. In reality, he probably wouldn’t have, but it was scaring me. I didn’t want things to end like that, so I left the kitchen for a couple minutes while I sobbed. Diamond went and sat by the door, but soon heard screams that sent her hiding behind the couch.

Getting some sunI was disgusted with myself for leaving him alone. I was a chicken shit who could’ve even handle witnessing my cat’s death. My mom went back into the kitchen to check on him so he wouldn’t be alone. I heard a few more loud meows and then a meow with a gasping breath and then he was gone. I sat with him. Patting him and telling him how sorry I was and what a good boy he had always been. She said he was dead, but I could swear I felt him moving ever so slightly. I hope he heard me and understood how much I loved him. Eventually the movement stopped and after a while we wrapped him up and put him into his carrier. I regret that his end was not peaceful. He wasn’t warm snug in his comfy cat bed. I wasn’t able to hold and comfort him like I wanted to.

Relaxing on the chairThe What Ifs

It was over. While I was relieved he was no longer suffering, I felt like a failure. I went over and over everything I should or shouldn’t have done. If I had changed his checkup date or have taken him separately from Diamond. Maybe we would’ve had a different doctor. Maybe someone else would have taken a better look at his records. Maybe that person would’ve been more knowledgable. I should’ve taken him to the clinic. I should’ve gone sooner. Maybe someone could’ve saved him. The fact is that if he hadn’t gotten that rabies shot, he’d still be alive today. If I wasn’t such a horrible cat parent, I would’ve done something sooner or differently. I would’ve or should’ve known. Is knowing all this medical information my responsibility or the doctors? I’ll never know if just changing one action could’ve saved him. I’ll probably torture myself with this forever and his screams will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Mellow and Rosebud’s babies

Memories

I have wonderful memories. Mellow and I playing fetch with his favorite ball. Mellow and Diamond chasing each other around. Mellow meowing at me as if we are having a conversation. I will never again be able to touch his soft fluffy fur. I will never again hear his funny meows. At least not live and in person. I have some things recorded, but that will never be enough. I will never be able to hug him again. He used to annoy me by waking me up at night with his nonstop meowing. If only he could wake me up one more time. I didn’t get to see Mellow’s kittenhood. He spent it with his breeder who was going out of business. By the time I found him, he was being sold at a lower price because he as a year old. We’d often joke that we found him on sale. He was a bargain. He might have been half price, but he would’ve been worth every penny anyway. He was always there for me. He sat on my lap during one of the most life changing and heartbreaking conversations I’ve ever had. Thank you Mellow for never leaving my side.

Mellow and his twin sister from Barbidolz

I haven’t been able to spend as much time with the cats since Rosebud was born, but I have Diamond still with me and I’ll never take it for granted again. The people and animals you love can be gone in the blink of an eye. Rosebud loves Mellow and often tells me that he’s her cat and Diamond is mine. I have pictures and videos of them playing together that I will treasure forever. She might not remember Mellow, but I always will. We named him marshmallow because he’s so fluffy and white. He’s sensitive so we called him squishy like a marshmallow. At the same time he’s extremely calm and mellow, so it became Mellow for short. Diamond and Rosebud and I all love and miss you. You were our special sweet boy. Our Mellow the Marshmallow. Rest in peace. October 22, 2008 to February 19, 2019.

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Are Our Children Missing Something?

It has been a long winter and these past couple of days have been especially horrible at work. One bright spot has been the weather. It’s finally warmed up a bit and not feeling so much like the arctic. Normally, the last thing I want to do when I get home is to go outside and freeze. I get my fill of that in the mornings as my classes almost always go outside no matter how cold it is. All I want to do is sit in my favorite chair and zone out, but I don’t do that. Most days, I play with Rosebud as soon as I get home. She waits for me all day and she usually gets things set up so that we can play as soon as we walk through the door. Some days, she’ll have a picnic set up or she’ll create a pretend bakery.

Girl throwing snowball

Now that the sun is out later and we had a taste of spring, she asked to go play in the back yard. When we got out there, we started testing the snow to see what we could make. We have one of those plastic molds that makes bricks out of snow. We only managed to make one brick that stayed together. The others fell apart. It could’ve been good snowman making snow, but it was too warm for it to stay together. We couldn’t make a decent snowman, but we could make some fantastic snowballs. Even though most of them melted quickly, they were perfect for throwing. Rosebud picked one up and threw it at me. Then it was on! We threw snowballs back and forth and just kept laughing. We had so much fun.

Children playing behind snow wall

It reminded me of my childhood. Back then, we used to get a lot more snow than we do now and we’d spend hours out there. I remember helping my mom shovel snow and thinking how fun it was. Of course, now it’s not so fun. I remember making huge snowballs with my classmates. We’d just make gigantic snowballs to push around, just seeing how big we could make them. We made tall snowmen, experimented with spraying the snow with colored water, taking sleds down a huge hill on the school’s playground. I remember making a snow fort at the baby sitter’s house. We wanted to make it really strong because the kids who lived next door decided that they’d throw snowballs at our fort. I think we were going to throw some at their’s too, but we thought we were so clever when we got some water and started making ice as the top coat of our fort.

We didn’t care if they came with snowballs because we were busy seeing how strong we could make our fort.

Frozen pond

I’d often go down to the pond with those same kids and pretend to ice skate. There were holes all over the pond and it definitely wasn’t the safest thing to be doing, but back then, kids were allowed to take risks. Maybe more than we should have, but we learned to be careful. We knew what our limits were. We learned through trial and error. We learned how to share, make our own rules and most of all, we learned to look out for each other.

Girl on sled Every day, I’m constantly telling kids about how this isn’t safe and that isn’t safe. We tell them not to climb the slide, stay out of puddles, don’t play on the ice, don’t throw snowballs and on and on. It gets old. I start to wonder what came first. Do we tell them not to do these things because they show us they don’t know how to be safe or are we just assuming it before giving them the opportunity to learn? We tell them not to throw snowballs, but why exactly? It seems as though that it’s just one of those childhood memories we all have. At least those of us who grow up in winter climates.

With some of the kids, I’ll tell them to stop because they always take it too far. If they throw snowballs, they go for the other kid’s face. If they play on the ice, they pick up a piece and throw it. Is it because we’ve hovered too much that they have to push the envelope even farther or does it come down to the fact that they don’t know how to play and interact with other kids? Is all this hovering crushing their spirits? Can we step back a little or is all of this necessary? My guess is the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

Toddler girl playing with snowman

When Rosebud and I played outside, I thought of my own childhood and I wanted her to have some of those same memories. I want her to remember happy times even if they were just playing with mommy instead of the neighborhood kids. I let her throw snowballs and threw some back. I let her see if she could climb her slide with her boots on. She discovered that it was slippery, but if she held on tight and paid close attention, she could still get to the top safely. She discovered that she shouldn’t run on the ice or she might fall. I pulled her around the yard in her sled and her laughter was contagious. The hint of spring with the warm sun on my back and seeing Rosebud’s pure joy was the perfect ending to my day.

Recently, this brilliant article called,The Most Overlooked Reason Why Your Kids Won’t Listen, Focus or Sit Still came across my newsfeed. It discusses the consequences of children not having the opportunity to take risks and not getting enough time outdoors. It’s worth reading. What are your thoughts? Are our children missing out?

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Happy New Year, 2019!

I’ve been meaning to do a series of posts leading up to 2019, but I’ve been so busy with the holidays and watching Little Guy that I’ve had no energy left at the end of the day. I want to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Actually, I want to sleep long before that. Usually it starts as soon as I hear Rosebud talking to herself in the morning since she refuses to sleep in, even if she goes to bed late. She has also given up naps for the most part, so she’s been exhausted lately. Although I love blogging, I haven’t had it in me. I’m hoping to get back on track in the new year.

A perplexed cat stuck, tangled up in a ball of yarn

I was one of those people last year who decided to have a word as a theme to 2018. Well, my word was change and 2018 turned out to be the complete opposite. If I were to sum up 2018 into one word, it would be stuck. I felt like I was in a maze, going down one path only to realize it led back to where I started. At the end of 2017, I was able to come up with a long list of wonderful things that happened that year. I reconnected with some great people I had lost touch with, I took pottery classes, I was able to make big improvements on my home and Rosebud grew so much and met so many milestones.

This year was hard. The cats were sick a lot. Most of my coworkers retired, moved away or quit because they couldn’t take it anymore. Since then, it has been a revolving door of new faces. I’m usually anxious about meeting new people, so this has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. On one hand, I think it will be exciting to meet new people because maybe, just maybe, it will be someone I can connect with. Then I usually end up disappointed because we don’t share the same interests, our personalities aren’t compatible or there’s just nothing there. this goes for coworkers, friendships or relationships. My exploration of transcription fell through and I decided it wasn’t for me. Coaching is still an option, but I will have to take out a loan to cover the cost of training, so this will have to wait. Maybe I can start this year depending on how things go. I missed out on pottery classes because they fill so quickly and I didn’t find other classes that interested me. The improvements I made to my home were minimal, but on the flip side, I’m lucky that there aren’t urgent things that need fixing.

Little girl reading book

For the positive, Rosebud has become quite a conversationalist. She always has something adorable to say. Her latest thing is reading to me. I love hearing her try to retell a story or make up her own. The other positive thing was meeting Little Guy at work. We clicked since day one and now I have connected with his family. I’ve watched him a lot this month which not only has allowed me to make some extra money, but has given me a great trial run in childcare from home. I have to say that it has been going great except for yesterday. I woke up in a bad mood, Rosebud was crabby and Little Guy was tired and his family is in the middle of moving to a new house. He was not acting like himself for most of the morning, so it was a difficult day all around. We will all have those days though no matter where we are or what we are doing.

2019 New Years Resolutions written in a notebook with cup of coffee

Here are my goals and hopes for the new year.

  1. To finalize a career plan. Do I want to have my own business and what will I be doing? I will be taking a training this month on home childcare since I’m leaning towards watching a couple kids from home. My long term plan would be to continue being a childcare provider for the next couple of years. Meanwhile, I could start building up a coaching business.
  2. Take a class for fun. It could be pottery or something else.
  3. Get back to a regular exercise routine. I’ve been slacking lately!
  4. Journal regularly. I know I’ll look back on this time later and regret that I haven’t kept up with it. I want to keep the memories of Rosebud while she is little.
  5. Turn one room in my house into a play room.
  6. Get Rosebud potty trained. This has been a hard and frustrating thing we’ve been working on.
  7. Let go of things I don’t need. Whether they be objects or self limiting beliefs.
  8. Read at least 20 books. This should not be hard with my Audible subscription.
  9. Take one night per week for self care.
  10. Post on the blog on a regular schedule. Over the past few months, I’ve figured out that Tuesdays and Fridays work best for me.

Happy New Year 2019

Well, I’ll be busy this year, but I’m excited to get started. If I do something each day to reach my goals, I’ll get there eventually, but I know I have to start by breaking it down into achievable steps. I won’t be choosing a word or making new years resolutions, but I will be progressing towards long-term goals. At the end of the day, I know I need to get back to basics. Spending quality time with Rosebud, maintaining a healthy mind and body and focusing on writing and creating because those things make me the happiest. Even if I don’t have a play room by next January or if I. Miss out on pottery classes once again, I know there are still things to be grateful for. I could dwell on everything I didn’t accomplish from last year, but why? Maybe I won’t accomplish everything I set out to do this year and that’ll be okay. What are your goals and hopes for 2019? Will you be working on setting goals with your kids? Introducing Smart Goals is a great way to start! What keeps you motivated? Let me know in the comments.

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An Unexpected Christmas Gift

I had a few ideas for Christmas posts. I had settled on writing my Christmas list. The one that I have in my head that no one else knows about. The one that has all the things I want that I won’t ask for. Over the past couple of days, I’ve gotten something on my Christmas list, but it’s something I never expected. It’s the kindness of complete strangers.

Coffee and a donutLast week, there was a pot luck at work. I struggled to figure out what to bring. I always used to bring macaroni and cheese, but with my new schedule, trying to cook it and keep it fresh no longer works. I could’ve baked cookies or brownies, but I didn’t feel like it. The week was exhausting. I needed something quick and inexpensive, so I decided to stop at Dunkin Donuts for some munchkins, also known as donut holes. Someone paid it forward and I ended up with a free box of donut holes. In return, I paid it forward and bought someone’s coffee.

Gold gift card that reads, “A gift for you.”

The day before Christmas Eve, my mom, Rosebud and I went to Walmart to buy my groceries for the week. I had to buy enough food to feed two kids this week as I have the week off from work, but will be watching a little boy. My mom was buying last minute items to make treats to fill our stockings. Our cart was pretty full. Once we had everything up on the counter and were about to pay, an older man comes up to my mom and offers her a gift card. My mom thanked the guy as the cashier finished ringing up the items.

Her bill came to around $40, but when the cashier checked the balance, she realized it was a $200 gift card. We were all in shock. Partly because we assumed it’d be $20 or less. I figured it was someone trying to get rid of the balance on his gift card. I’ve heard of people giving that much, but only on the news or viral Facebook posts. I’ve never seen it in my real life let alone it happening to me. The cashier even said that she’d never seen anything like that happen in person. It paid for my mom’s bill, my week’s worth of groceries and still had a small balance left over.

Christmas bear with thank you message

I don’t know why the man chose us. I can speculate, but it appeared that it was out of kindness and generosity. He wanted nothing in return. Maybe it is his way of getting into the holiday spirit. Who ever he is, I hope he is not alone this holiday season. I want to thank him for his kindness and for being so generous. He doesn’t know it, but I was looking at the balance in my bank account this morning and starting to worry about bills that haven’t been charged yet. Because of this man’s kindness, I don’t have to worry and will have enough to cover everything. It was a huge help to me.

Decorated Christmas treeThey say that when you show kindness, it will be returned to you. It might not be reciprocated by the person you showed kindness to, but it will come back to you in another form. I might not be able to give a random stranger a $200 gift card, but in my own way, I will pay it forward to someone else. Thank you not only for the groceries, but for restoring some of my hope that kindness still exists in this world. Out of all the things on my Christmas list, this is the most important. I wish all my readers a happy holiday.

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15Things I’m Thankful For

I wanted to do a gratitude series of posts in November, but this month seems to be running away from me. It’s already half over. To get into the spirit of Thanksgiving, here’s a list of some of the things I am grateful for. Not just for this season, but all year.A coffee cup next to a napkin with text, what am I thankful for?

1. This blog

I’ve found another creative outlet and I’ve had fun expanding my knowledge of blogging. I’m thankful that you are reading my blog. You could be reading any of the millions of articles online, but you’ve come here and I appreciate that.

2. My ability to write

Speaking of the blog, it wouldn’t be in existence without my ability to write. I’m grateful for the people who have encouraged me to write over the years. Mrs. Galle and Mr. Fisher in particular. Writing not only lets me reach out to so many people through this blog, but it helps me through difficult times.

3. Books

I never thought I’d like reading. When I was a kid, I hated it and if you told me I’d love books as an adult, I’d have laughed in your face. It was mostly because reading was slow for me and I didn’t have the same books as the other kids. When I found Audible and the Kindle app, a whole new world opened up to me. Now I always am reading a book or two.

A Mac book next to an iPhone, showing technology concept.

4. Today’s technology

Although many people see today’s technology as a curse, I see it as a blessing. I don’t know where I’d be without all this technology. I was able to complete an entire masters degree online and now my goal is to have a business working from home. None of that would’ve even been possible when I was a kid. When cell phones first became popular, there was so much of it that was inaccessible to me because of my visual impairment. If you told me when I was younger that I’d be using the exact same technology as my peers and would be able to access the same information in real time, I wouldn’t have believed it. Don’t get me wrong, there is still a long way to go when it comes to accessibility. New accessibility bugs pop up with every software or app update, but we have come a long way.

Ceramic bowl made from clay.5. Clay

I love being creative and making something functional and or beautiful. You can pick up a ball of clay and there are endless possibilities. With imagination and some skill, you can make something amazing. I’m hoping to take another pottery class this winter.

6. Cooking

I’ve tried lots of new recipes this year. I love experimenting in the kitchen and finding a new favorite recipe.

7. My home

I’m so thankful that I have a wonderful home where my daughter can grow up. At least for the next few years. It’s cozy as Rosebud says. I’ve been able to make lots of improvements to it as well, getting it closer to my dream home. I am so fortunate to have a nice warm place to live and try to remember that every day.

A rocky beach8. Nature

I love finding the sunny spot on a cold day, looking at the clouds and taking walks to get fresh air and to just listen to the birds. The beach is my happy place and I even love rainy days.

9. Family

Although we have our issues, they’ve always been there for me when times have gotten really tough.

My cats

10. My cats

They’ve been with me for a long time. Even though I haven’t been able to spend as much time with them and don’t get to spoil them as much since I’ve had Rosebud, they’ve been such a comfort. They have a wonderful presence and our home would feel empty without them. They are friendly, affectionate, fluffy and protective of Rosebud. I couldn’t ask for anything else from a pet.

11. Friends

I don’t have very many and the ones I have, I don’t get to see them often, but I appreciate them so much. Thank you for letting me vent, being there for me and sharing stories and plenty of laughs.

Mother hugging two children

12. The kids I work with every day

There are a few who are so special to me and are my whole reason for showing up to work. I love the hugs, when they tell me they love me and when they include me in their play. When they come up and demand you play with them, you know you’ve done something right.

13. My health.

I’ve always been generally healthy. When I see the people around me with lots of medical issues, I realize how fortunate I am.

14. My past experiences

Although there have been a lot of negative experiences in my life, they’ve shaped who I am today. I’ve learned a lot of valuable lessons. Although I’m not yet grateful for everything in my past, there are still lessons left for me to learn. I am grateful for the opportunities for growth ahead and for all the wonderful memories, the people who I’ve met and the places I’ve seen.

Mother and daughter tasting cupcakes

15. My daughter

Most of all, I’m thankful for my daughter. She has given my life a whole new purpose. I don’t know where I’d be without her. Yesterday, I watched her cook in her pretend kitchen and when she served the cupcakes, she offered more to me than she saved for herself. She doesn’t always clean up her toys or listen to me, but when I ask her if she can do me a favor, her response is always, of course. She’s always wanting to help and she has an endless supply of hugs and kisses. She’s smart, sweet and funny and I’m so proud to be her mommy.

How about you? What are you thankful for? Tell me in the comments.

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Do the Right Thing: A Reminder for Halloween or Any Time

Hallloween is approaching and many of us will be interacting with our neighbors, so I’m updating this story from last year to remind us to be compassionate and kind. We can’t assume everyting about everyone, nor can we know what goes on in everyone’s lives. However, we can all do our best to make Halloween night a positive experience for our children and if you don’t celebrate Halloween, that’s okay too. I know this seems like common sense, but apparently last year, one of my neighbors still needed that reminder.

Do the Right Thing pin

On Halloween night, my brother and I took Rosebud trick-or-treating. My mom and my other brother stayed behind and handed out the candy. We have a ton of trick-or-treaters in the neighborhood, so I usually run out of candy quickly. The first year I lived here, I ran out of candy within minutes of turning on the light. The kids kept coming, so I went to the store to get another bag. Then last year, Halloween celebrations were rescheduled due to a large storm and power outages, but we barely got any trick-or-treaters on that day. Rosebud wasn’t a fan of last year’s costume and basically it was a bust.

This year, Rosebud loved her costume and understood the whole idea of trick-or-treating. Although she was shy, she had a great time.

Group of trick-or-treaters

By the time we got home, there was barely any candy left and my mom wanted to save me a few pieces. She kept going to turn out the light, but the kids kept coming. Rosebud got plenty of candy and my mom was going to start handing that out, but my brother and I agreed that it was hers and that it wasn’t right to be handing it out. I turned out the lights, but I still had some ghost lights hanging in the window. Meanwhile, my brothers went out the back way into the garage to put some things in there. A group of people walked by including this extremely rude woman.

My brothers could hear her from the garage saying something to the effect of, if they’re gonna shut the lights off, they need to not have decorations. She went on about how we needed to hand out candy. Her husband was trying to offer up some explanation as to why our light might be off. He said that maybe we had small children and it was their bed time. He said that maybe we were still out trick-or-treating and not home yet. She continued to voice her opinion very loudly as she continued down the street. The last thing my brother heard her say was that we need to do the right thing.

Notebook with the text, do the right thing

The ironic thing was that I felt good about how our night went until this happened. I had good interactions with my neighborhoods. Everyone was polite. The kids in the street were well behaved. People were laughing and having a good time. Of course, there always has to be one one rotten apple ruining it for the rest of us. Maybe I should have shut off my decorations along with the porch light, but I was taking photos of Rosebud. Plus, I was still celebrating Halloween. It was getting late and I thought the amount of trick-or-treaters would be slowing down anyway. Maybe I should’ve gotten three bags of candy instead of two. I could’ve spent $40 on candy instead of $20. There’s always a million things I could’ve done differently.

Bucket filled with candy

The question is, why? Do we wish we could’ve done things differently because we honestly regret them or is it because of the opinions of others? Would we even care about these insignificant choices that mean nothing in the long run if it weren’t for the judgement from those around us? I wouldn’t have cared, but then I had visions of this woman going on the neighborhood message board and complaining about how there were Halloween decorations, but no candy at my address. It’s a scary thought, but people go on there and complain about specific individuals.

Jack-o’-lantern

I didn’t feel guilty. I had done the right thing. I had taken my daughter out trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. In turn, I gave candy to the neighborhood kids who came to my door. By the time I shut off my light, Rosebud was tired and the woman’s husband was right, I have a small child who needed to be put to bed. A couple days later, I talked to another neighbor who said she ran out of candy at around the same time. She said that most of the neighbors around her were running out of candy as well. Obviously, I wasn’t alone. If candy wasn’t outrageously expensive, I think most of us would’ve bought more, but that’s a topic for another post.

Girl offering marshmallowsThe next time you are in a situation where you are wondering why on earth someone would do something, give it a second thought before jumping to conclusions. Of course we all are going to make judgements and see things through our own lenses, but there might be a completely reasonable explanation for someone’s actions. My response to that woman would be that instead of telling me to do the right thing, you should take your own advice. Let’s get back to the basics. A little kindness and compassion goes a long way because what you didn’t know is that I already had done the right thing for our neighborhood and at that very moment when you were being rude and judgmental, I was doing the right thing for my daughter.

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